ChocVelvet
Full Member
I'm starting an online diary to chart my progress on JUDDD and using the techniques in the Beck Diet Solution. I've been SS'ing off/on (more off) since Nov and in total managed to lose 2st 7lbs to 11st 7lb - my lowest weight. But gained back 9lbs - and in danger of gaining back every lb. I decided enough was enough - I'm so sick of this cycle.
Feb became my really low point in that I was made redundant in Feb, my ex who finally left me last Jan - and his fiancee of 1yr gave birth to a boy. (Complicated story but not ready to give full deatils yet) They are also planning to get married this coming August. I've been in an eat/binge cycle since Feb. For the last month I've been reading a book called Shrink yourself - Break free from emotional eating forever by Roger Gould and the Beck Diet Solution (train your brain to think like a thin person' by Judith Beck. Both books are helping me come to terms with my emotional eating. To be honest - I've been in a state of limbo since Feb - and part of me felt I was going to eat my way through my problems til August - anything but admit that I'm still upset by what's happened.
I guess last week - was a bit of a light bulb moment when I decided that I'm sick of being/playing the victim. I can't change the events that led upto the breakup with my ex. I can't change what's happening in his new life. But I can change what happens to me. So I've started the process of 'tieying (tying?) loose ends and getting on with my life.
However, I must add that many good things has come out of this. I got another job contracting (I work in IT) - it was something I always wanted to do - but was worried about doing - love the freedom of it. Realised how much I hated my last job and how much stress it was causing (not to mention, how it contributed to the breakdown of my relationship!). Realising that I've got a great support circle - my family & friends that I didn't make the most of. Also finally being able to admit that I can't get through this alone - that I need all the support and help I can get.
I had also planned to get on the SS wagon, but now must admit that SS hasn't helped with my all-or-nothing thinking as far dieting is concerned. I can't do the Paul McKenna way or any or the methods for intuitive eating - because I need some structure. So I hope that this - JUDDD, CBT and posting on this online diary will go some way to getting me there. I'm hoping that I can be honest enough to admit when things are going wrong and continue to post.
Feb became my really low point in that I was made redundant in Feb, my ex who finally left me last Jan - and his fiancee of 1yr gave birth to a boy. (Complicated story but not ready to give full deatils yet) They are also planning to get married this coming August. I've been in an eat/binge cycle since Feb. For the last month I've been reading a book called Shrink yourself - Break free from emotional eating forever by Roger Gould and the Beck Diet Solution (train your brain to think like a thin person' by Judith Beck. Both books are helping me come to terms with my emotional eating. To be honest - I've been in a state of limbo since Feb - and part of me felt I was going to eat my way through my problems til August - anything but admit that I'm still upset by what's happened.
I guess last week - was a bit of a light bulb moment when I decided that I'm sick of being/playing the victim. I can't change the events that led upto the breakup with my ex. I can't change what's happening in his new life. But I can change what happens to me. So I've started the process of 'tieying (tying?) loose ends and getting on with my life.
However, I must add that many good things has come out of this. I got another job contracting (I work in IT) - it was something I always wanted to do - but was worried about doing - love the freedom of it. Realised how much I hated my last job and how much stress it was causing (not to mention, how it contributed to the breakdown of my relationship!). Realising that I've got a great support circle - my family & friends that I didn't make the most of. Also finally being able to admit that I can't get through this alone - that I need all the support and help I can get.
I had also planned to get on the SS wagon, but now must admit that SS hasn't helped with my all-or-nothing thinking as far dieting is concerned. I can't do the Paul McKenna way or any or the methods for intuitive eating - because I need some structure. So I hope that this - JUDDD, CBT and posting on this online diary will go some way to getting me there. I'm hoping that I can be honest enough to admit when things are going wrong and continue to post.