Step 1 Sole Source + Carb Junkie Going Cold Turkey

I have a tendency to waffle when it comes to creating posts on forums and I expect this diary to be no different.

A little bit about me:
When I was younger I always had more puppy fat than any of my family but I hoped after school I would grow out of it...WRONG! My weight since I left for university has gone through peaks and troughs but steadily the peaks get higher and the troughs get lower as they usually do when you do very little exercise and pretty much eat what you like. My sisters and cousins are all tall and skinny and I seemed the get the short and fat genes. They can all eat as much as they like, I have always been jealous of that.

Towards the end of university I met my now wife she is amazing, I love her to bit's and we are perfect for each other in every way but one: we both love food. We both have the problem where we don't eat because we are hungry but because the food is there and we like the taste...including not having sensible portion control. Our key difference is that I am addicted to savory, carb heavy foods and her weakness is mainly chocolaty things. During the 6ish years we have been together we have both ballooned to 17st+.

My dad lectures me on my weight each time I see him and tells me it's his one big worry in life but I have heard it so often from him that I tend not to listen much anymore. He had weight issues when he was younger and ended up becoming bulimic in order to try and get it under control but now has got into a routine of exercise and portion control and infrequent treats. My mum on the other hand has always been around a UK size 14 as long as I can remember but made an amazing effort 2 years ago to take up running and is down to an 8-10ish.

My body shape is an apply, most of my weight is around my middle which means that trousers fit in the legs but not the waist or the waist but not at all flattering so I generally go with boy-fit jeans. My wife's' weight lies on her hips and thighs, and her tummy is much thinner and flatter (would love to have her tummy) than mine so has the opposite problem. We are both around a size 22 and are starting this together...step one in what will be a life-long struggle!

Good luck to you both x

So that's pretty much a summary about me in my first post and now lets get down to the nitty gritty:

Previous attempts:
My wife and I have always known we should do something about our weight and occasionally tried to do something about it. We went through a summer when I was between years at University and Nicola had free access to a rarely used badminton court in a small church hall so we would play for an hour or two during week days and followed Weight Watchers indirectly - the person we were living with was on the diet and just made enough for 3 people rather than just herself. This was pretty good and for the few weeks we were following it had great results until I went to visit my family up north and even though they knew I was on a diet still made things like pizza for dinner and with very little self control started back on those down-wood hills again.
Our next main attempt came when Nic's dad, who exercises regularly, never smokes, drinks but not often had to have a heart operation because he was getting small attacks where he couldn't breath and had chest pains. I don't think that attempt lasted very long and I think only Nic was attempting to diet then which meant it was doomed to fail because you can't have one person in the house eating what they like and the other trying to be strict.
The attempt before our current one was the biggy! If this wasn't reason enough I don't know what would be: OUR WEDDING!!! We started on the Cambridge Diet 3 months before our wedding so that means we started in January 2013 and our wedding as April 2013. I will go into more details about this attempt vs. our current attempt later but the highlights are that we had quite a few social events in the run up to the wedding....Nic having problems at work where she was almost made redundant (in a way...long story), friends hen parties (with set menu dinners before the night out), friends weddings, our hen parties, tastings for the cake and caterers...etc. We had poor run of about 2-3 weeks, we lost about a stone each that time but quickly put it back on with our extravagant honeymoon including lots of rich foods and junk food when we got back.

What diet am I on?
I am currently on the Cambridge Diet, Step 1: Sole Source/+
At the start of this diet (I am now 4 weeks in) I opted for Sole Source - so just three products a day and lots of water but there have been a few days when I have felt hungry that I had Sole Source+ but I checked with my consultant first and she said it's fine to switch between the two as often as I like. Nic and I have different consultants, hers says that she can have two cans of Coka Zero (not diet) a day and mine says it should be an irregular treat because it's a highly contested opinion and she would rather I kept off it if possible.

Why did I pick that one?
Basically in short I have ZERO will power!!! I find it very difficult if I have to go to a supermarket to not pick up a few bits and bobs like crisps or cheese. If Nic is out for an evening my habit was to go get fried chicken and chips from the kebab shop down the road as they do garlic mayonnaise and chilli sauce that are to die for....and as it's already so bad for me that "an extra 6 chicken nuggets on top of that aren't going to make much difference now are they"?!? Basically my love for food is my worst enemy so I wanted something that had no flexibility at all. I won't let myself in a supermarket, if I want to get some tins of tuna or something the days I go for the + option then either Nic get's it on the way home or I get it delivered along with the many bottles of water as the tap water in London isn't very nice.

What are my motivations?
I have a number of motivations and they are different from my wife's. Nic wants to be healthy and I mainly want to be skinny and hopefully get the healthy aspect for free. I reached UK size 22 and clothes were starting to get tight, that's the worst I have ever been and thought I had to do something as I did not want to get bigger. I was fed up of not being able to go into places like NEXT and buy anything. Most places stop around the 18, maybe 20 mark but I was past that. I had reached my limit and something had to be done. On our honeymoon the 24 hour flights to New Zealand the belt fit just about but any more and I would have needed an extension. I love roller coasters but it's embarrassing when the guy comes over to squeeze down your harness as you JUST fit. Nic and I are also planning an epic trip to travel around Asia for 6 months for the end of next year (so Jan 2015) and I can't imagine doing things like climb the Great Wall of China in my current state. Not to mention the heat compared to our lovely wet, dreary weather will mean at my current weight I will be constantly uncomfortable.

Ramble over for now...until my next post on how my first 4 weeks on the diet have gone

Good luck!I'm sure you'll both do well and you have each other for support

My signature max size is pretty small as I have only just joined so here are the results from my first 4 weeks:
Start Weight - 17st 3 (Size 22)
Week 1 - (-7lb) - 16st 10
Week 2 - (-4lb) - 16st 6
Week 3 - (-3lb) - 16st 3
Week 4 - (-4ln) - 15st 13

I have given an introduction to myself, talked about my experience in the past and motivations....now for what I'm sure most people thinking of starting or just started the Cambridge diet want to hear: how have my first 4 weeks been???

The first time I attempted this diet I only lasted about 2-3 weeks but I have myself a new consultant and finding the setup much better. My last consultant had a type of Weight Watchers setup style where you are in more of a group, but unfortunately due to the area my office is based there are quite a few sleek and thin professionals there in either the maintenance phase or are only looking to lose maybe one or two stone so I was by far the heaviest out of the group. That combined with having many social events planned that I couldn't really get around shortly after starting meant that I was too ashamed to go back for the worry I had gained after a friends hen party where there was a set menu meal of creamy, fatty, meaty, cheesy, carby goodness and I intended to only eat a small portion of the food (maybe 1/4 of the plate) but it was so good I finished all 3 courses....followed swiftly by a boozy night out and then the usual kebab and chips smothered in garlic mayo to polish off the night (*drools*)!!!

I have a consultant who I meet with on a Friday evening and for the past few weeks I have been walking from her office to my home (about 2.7 miles) to try and get that extra little bit off each week. This time around I am doing much better at sticking to it and being strict with myself. We have no social occasions coming up any time soon where we have to eat and we have far fewer stresses to trigger a need/want for comfort food so it's been 4 whole weeks and I have only broken the diet in very slight ways:
I put a little bit of balsamic and Tobasco on my tinned tuna in spring water
I have been having a can or two of coke zero at the weekends

Week 1:
The first time I did this diet motivation, determination pushed me through the first tough few days and I think that's what kept the hungry at bay for a short while but this time I am not that type of motivated...more that I have resounded myself to the fact this has to be done, and it has to be done now as much as I don't want to have to or don't like it!! While this attitude I think has helped me stick to what I'm doing (as I'm looking at the long term goals not short term) it's meant that the first three days while getting to the point where Ketosis sets in was much harder than last time. I got some dulling headaches even with all of the water and felt really hungry. So it went from being a breeze previously to being really difficult, I'm really hoping that is a sign that this time the diet is different from the other times!!!

Eventually the end of the first week rolled around and I was pretty happy with my first weigh in telling me I had lost 7lb!! Go me!! Unfortunately this is where my diet journey only just begins...

Week 2
So with what's meant to be the hardest week over and done with I prepare for the long hard slog that will follow...
Having started on Sole Source on week 1 I was missing actual food you have to chew and different flavors so I opted to go to Sole Source+ with the evening protein meal for a few of the nights but I don't think it really made any difference on my weigh in.

Week 3
Nic was pretty disappointed with this weeks weight in of a 1lb loss. I was fed up I only lost 3lb so it's hard to imagine what she felt like but somehow we managed to push through. I was allowed to start on the bars this week and really enjoyed the Lemon ones as well as the Toffee....I didn't really branch out with many options and didn't want to have a bar every day at this point. There wasn't really much else different with this week from week 2 so I will try and avoid boring you even more by jumping ahead...

Week 4
For some reason having not really felt hungry that much after the first couple of days this week starts to take it's toll and I'm finding that I am getting hungry around mid-afternoon between my lunch shake and early evening bar. I'm not sure why as I haven't really changed my routine very much. Although, if I'm being honest with myself I am wondering if it related to the bars at all as the hunger was mild but present during week 3 and that's when I started eating the bars. It could also be due to the additional mental stimulation at work...I have been working on a really challenging task and the days have been flying by. I wonder how many others found that these things didn't start until well into the diet...?

The first 4 weeks went by not exactly with ease as I still get so many food cravings but Nic and I seemed to have kept each other going against all the odds, that was until we hit day 28-30...this weekend we both broke the rules.

We have said that each of us is allowed 1 "sin" day a month...this doesn't mean we can have a big blow out but just something that isn't on the list of approved sole source+ foods.

Over this one weekend we both had two of these "sin" days. Friday evening was a friend’s birthday and I found that as supportive as my friends are when they are sober they do try and palm drinks off on you when they have been drinking a little. One of our friends has a habit of vanishing when he get drunk and reappearing a little while later with a tray of shots and doubles (or on Friday....quadruples!!). I was able to say no to each of these occasions and stood up against all of the coaxing only because I am not really that much of a drinker anyway but it's much tougher for Nic who likes the odd drink or two. She ended up having a few vodkas and diet cokes (as there was no coke zero at the bar)...strike one for Nic.

Saturday was a pre-planned sin day because it was a trip to a beer festival planned before we even started the diet with a family member of Nic's who we see very rarely. I think Nic emailed me a list of her food and drink intake for that day (as I was off visiting my family for a weekend - more on that next)....:

3 halves of ale
3 halves of cider
1 vodka and coke
2 glasses of red wine
1 vodka and coke
1 raspberry beer
1 Sambuca
1 shot cranberry vodka
1 jaeger
1 double vodka and coke

bacon roll
plain sausage
bit of Chinese (but a smaller portion size we would usually go for)
sausage and chips

So when Nic had a sin day she really did but in all fairness she managed to pull back from that and resume the diet 100% on the Sunday which is amazing!!!! And this was expected.

Now on to me, which I think in some way is worse than Nic as I gave in to temptation not something that we knew was coming.

I got all the way to Saturday evening with my family around making comments about my diet. Unfortunately my mum was a "weight-care" consultant when we were really young and began by lecturing me on what I should or shouldn't be eating..."you can still eat some fruit and yogurt", "you can use my recipe of cottage cheese based cheese cake"...etc. Then came the worst thing: they hadn't eaten and it got to about 9:30, they decided they wanted a Chinese but if I didn't want any they wouldn't get any and just not have any dinner which made me feel really bad :-( I knew they really wanted on but would say with misery in their voice things like: Nan - "I will just eat the left over noodles in the fridge"; Mum - "I can have some grapes, it's fine" etc. I know that it wasn't intentional like when friends were trying to coax me into having a drink the night before but this time my resolution failed and I agreed to have some soup from the Chinese. From all of the options to have from a Chinese it wasn't the worst one for me. For those of you that don't know what hot and sour soup is it's basically a clearish spicy soup with a few veg, tofu, egg, chicken, pork thrown in but I expect most places to use a generous helping of sesame seed oil (as that’s an ingredient always suggested when I have made this soup at home). So I crumbled and failed the test of Saturday but at least I resisted the temptation to stop off for a kebab on my way home because “I had always broken the diet, why not make the most of it?”

Sunday I knew was the real challenge of the weekend: a family barbeque!!! I hadn’t told my aunt that I was on a diet before arriving as I wanted as few people to know as possible so that meant she was constantly offering me food to eat. Eventually I told her the reason I wasn’t eating and that I had my bar and shake in my bar for when I need anything and initially she was ok with that but would still ask “are you sure I can’t put a little plate together for you?” every 15 minutes or so. I held out still!! Feeling quite proud of myself at that point but each time she asked with an exasperated yet apologetic look on her face about a plate I found it harder to say no because I wanted her to feel a bit better…it seemed like she was taking my diet personally against her hostessing. Eventually I agreed to a small plate of pork tenderloin with a coating of a few spices as that was the leanest thing there (out of steaks, chicken with skin on, burgers, sausages etc.) with a spoon of plumb sauce. In hindsight I should have skipped the plumb sauce as it was amazing – but was made with a generous helping of brown sugar!! After a tiny bit of that sauce I was broken and throughout the rest of the evening had in total about 10 slices dipped in the sauce (medallions about twice the size of a £2 coin and 1 inch thick)!! FAIL!!!

So after two sin days I was on my way home and went via the kebab shop down the road to find it closed!!! Very lucky!!! I would have had one had it been open but I guess looking back now I am glad it was closed. What impact these two “sin” days will have we will know in time…the countdown to our weigh ins starts now….

I wonder who else sits googling food they want to make? Or watching cooking shows because they miss flavours and tastes of food? Or sometimes goes to the canteen with friends to be around food?

For some strange reason since starting my diet I'm obsessed with the food I can't eat. I have been really wanting to get in the kitchen and bake something or learn how to make all those lovely take away dishes from scratch. For a foodie being restricted to an almost all liquid diet is testing but I know I need the restrictions in place otherwise I will just push the boundaries of what I'm meant to be allowed further and further until you can't really say I am dieting at all..."if I am having pasta already an extra handful won't hurt..."

For the past week and a bit I have been feeling hungry from about 3pm onwards meaning these temptations have been getting harder and harder to battle and my wife's resolve is starting to waiver as well. We are perfect for each other in every way with the exception of food as if one of us falls the both of us do!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Hehe I'll admit I torture my self with cooking shows, I think the only things I've found my self craving is balsamic vinegar and chicken! I still feel hungry some days I usually glug some boiled water and try to distract my self.

Day 3 back 100% on the diet and the weigh in due on Friday afternoon...I just find myself sitting counting down the days to each weigh in because I am so impatient. I don't think impatience is good to be when it comes to weight loss and I know that eventually I will get there but I just wish I was thin now. I am so jealous of those people who can eat what they like, exercise very little and stay skinny. I know it's my fault for letting it get this far.

On a another note I have felt like my post above about being pressured into eating was in a way making excuses as ultimately I gave in. I guess I just wish that people would stop putting pressure on me as I know how low my self control is. In some ways I have a supportive circle of people around me but more often either they don't think about how much I struggle or understand it or turn conversations into what feels like a lecture.

i guess I am just finding this week hard. Nic and I are both missing the usual foods we would cook or order or the cravings are petty bad.

Another day...another bar or shake...

Both Nic and I are feeling so tempted by food. I know that slip ups are expected and everyone has a bad day but I am trying to resist as much as possible. I ask when we can have a bad day but I know when I say it I'm not being serious but it's really unfair on Nic as then she get's her hopes up that we can break the diet for a meal. When I ask her "When can we have a sin day?" what I am really saying is "I wish we could have a sin day but we souldn't....at least not yet".

Reading the posts of others I realise my relationship with food is purely me being lazy and greedy. I don't get emotional and eat. I read some posts about people sobbing into fish and chips or chocolate because they have had a bad day and eating the food makes them feel both better and worse at the same time. I know that I have it easy compared to them. I am married with no kids (yet), we are happy (with the exception of our weight and energy levels), we are comfortable moneywise, we have holidays to look forward to etc. I don't really have anything to get stressed about and I haven't done for a long time. I KNOW how lucky I am.

I need to be sensible with food and be more active and I am really trying. I want to maybe give running a try but worried my knees or overall fitness will let me down. I have been having a few headaches the past few days as well which hasn't helped my determination to start with any exercise. We have been walking quite a bit recently so that's a start.

It's Nic's week 5 weigh in today after her Saturday diet blow out. Fingers crossed!

You should both maybe get an app called run a 5k they do a lower level one for people that would like to start running but it's name escapes me I'm sure you could find it easily. Also I'd suggest you check out the dual dynamics videos on YouTube the guys a CDC some good advice to be had. Also I'd like to share this picture in hopes it will keep spirits up

Nic lost 6lb which is amazing for a week 5!!! I'm quite jealous. She's just pulling ahead of me now so I have some catching up to do! I'm not expecting a good a result as her at my weigh in today as I don't think the foods I had at the weekend that I wasn't meant to have were enough to bring me out of ketosis as they were mainly protein and small portions. Nic's indulgent Saturday has done her well....wish in some ways I had done the same but too late now. It's onwards and *fingers crossed* downwards today for me!!

It's also the time of the month when we are meant to retain water and feel bloated so I'm really not looking forward to this one...

As much as I know a loss is a loss...my weigh in for 2lb when having been so good is dwarfed with Nics 6lb (after she ate and drank so much on Saturday).

:-(

Nic and I gave in BIG TIME last night and oh my god it was worth it!!! We started off the evening pretty good while out at a birthday dinner. We both skipped starters and dessert and ordered light main meals like chicken shish with salad or fish but when the birthday cake arrived and were told it would be "rude not to have a slice" as it was made by Nics step sister and I was getting disapproving looks from Nics mum when I passed.

Having been completely crab free for 5 whole weeks the cake kind of pushed me over the edge and decided that given my 2lb loss vs. Nics 6lb after giving in last week just made me give in completely and I had a slice and a half of chocolate cake. Followed by a chicken burger and chips smothers in garlic mayo and chilli sauce...it was amazing!!!!

Breaking the diet properly after 5 weeks means its going to be really tough going back and I'm expecting the headaches and hunger to set in at some point soon but currently I am feeling like it was well worth it and I'm remotivated and want my weigh in to hurry up and come around.

Day 2 back on the diet and feeling good. Nic and I went for a 5 mile walk today from our to the city centre for shopping and feeling really good currently.

We have also been making e most of our new found energy we have since starting the diet by sorting out all the junk we have in our room. We made a pile of clothes that don't fit us but hopefully will do at some point and found a home for them. Threw out anything we haven't worn in over 6 months that does fit as clearly we won't wear them again. We have a pile for when we are one size smaller and a pile for when we are two sizes smaller and anything below that would be 5+ has old so got rid of those as well.

A productive and active day!!!

Feeling a little better about only losing 2lb this week.

Reading your diary with interest! I started on the CWP but changed to slim and save as it was cheaper, more choice and best of all I could have one proper meal a day.

I did slim and save for 5 and a half months months (with one planned break to Disney with my family.) I lost 4 and half stone and it was the best thing I ever did.

It is still a daily struggle to not eat what I want, no, not daily, hourly sometimes, seriously, I could eat everything on sight (and more) when I'm in the mood. I can put a stone on in 2 weeks, ok, 10 days.

There comes a point when you will realise that what you want 'right now' will stop you achieving what you really want. To help me realise this every time I wanted food I looked at my 'reasons why' list I had created on my phone. It was a very personal list of reasons why I wanted to be slim and healthy and that honestly got me through. These were all positive (not like - oooh, remember that girl who thought you were pregnant?) it included some clothes I wanted to buy, some memories when I was slimmer, the good memory of yesterday's eating - still, every day when I wake I think of my kids followed by memories of what I ate the day before and I either feel guilty or thrilled - there is no in between for me.

One of the reasons was COST. Financially I could not afford £40 per week (more like £50-60 in the beginning) and THEN more food on top of that, we're not poor but not well off enough for me to be able to justify that.

The other was the thought of putting myself through the HELL that was ketosis time and time again was a big one. That stopped me caving many a time.

I also adopted the 20 minute rule. Which I still HAVE to do. If I want something (on or off plan) I have to give myself 20 minutes. If I still want it in 20 minutes I will have it. 100% of the time this worked. I'd reasoned with myself that it wasn't worth it.

I must admit if my husband were doing a vlcd with me and I wanted a cheat i would convince him to cheat with me so I wouldn't feel as guilty. It's a downward spiral.

So my tough love is this. Stop cheating. Stop cheating yourselves and each other of what you truly want and deserve and are working so hard to get. You might have to resign yourself to very very very little socialising unless its at your place and your guess understand and support you 100%. There will be PLENTY of time to eat, drink and be merry when you're at goal weight.

I hope this helps and good luck!

Keep updating! Xx

I have MANY diaries on here, slim and save, dukan, slimming world and now atkins (see, it's a battle!)

Kellmo xxx

Solid advice from kelmo (will be stealing some my self ) i personally stick things on the fridge! Pictures of progress so far positive thoughts any compliments I've had it does help!

Thanks for all of the support, it came in use today. I think today has been the worst day so far on the diet. I don't know if it's ketosis setting in again after my burger on Friday, my time of the month or who knows what but I have felt grumpy and irritable all day. Don't get me wrong though...I still feel that the one evening off has really improved my resolve and given me a rejuvenated determination!

Some background on the activities planned for the day: a 3 hour drive to Bristol, see Nic's aunt, uncle and cousin and then the 3 hour drive back (Nic's mum driving not us). On arrival we found we were all off to lunch which was the last thing I wanted! When on the diet I hate deviating from it even for the sake of a salad when out as I know it will want other things. It wasn't really the situation where you can say no though...am I meant to just not eat while others around me are having a meal? What do others do in this situation??? I had a leafy salad, no dressing....it had a little asparagus, broad beans, sunflower seeds and red peppers on it.


I kind of feel in some ways that I am a little like a recovering alcoholic and people are saying "just one sip" because they don't think about food how I do. The amount of advice I have been given or temptations presented with when around others is ridiculous! "Oh you can have a piece of fruit can't you?", "just try some of this I made...it's the fillet so it's the leanest cut", "why don't you try making a stir-fry for your dinner?", "just one drink won't hurt..." And worst of all......

"You should give yourself a treat every now and then otherwise you aren't going to stick to it" - in reference to whatever event I am at and that should be my treat

Maybe referring to my situation to an alcoholics isn't the best way to explain it as my relationship with food doesn't impact anyone else, I am fully functioning etc. but the point I am trying to make is that described above by Kellmo: for some of us a battle with food is very real. I don't think I have been very honest with anyone at all except my wife (and in some ways maybe even putting on a brave face to try and support her in our weight loss journey) over how much i am struggling.

We all struggle Fay. I am addicted to food. I binge. It's kind of like an out of body experience when I do, I'm not fully aware of what I'm eating and I will eat anything in sight (anything carby, sugary, sweet - even fruit.) it's scary and I like to do it in secret but I will do it in front of my husband.

I can either be 100% good or 100% terrible. I can honestly gain a stone in 10 days. It's embarrassing and I sometimes feel on controls me. I feel happy when my belly is bursting, satiated and content.
I once ate so much I went to throw it all up but I couldn't, I actually liked the feeling of being so full. I have looked into over eaters anonymous but it looks like this 'God' creature is involved and I cannot bring myself to believe/accept that concept.


I know how you feel. There are lots of us on here. You need to keep being strong everyday. No, every hour and sometimes minute. You'll get there, if I can so can you xxx

Kellmo xx

kellmo said:

I feel happy when my belly is bursting, satiated and content.

Click to expand...

Yep...this is me as well

I'm feeling much better today because I am back in the office and I know I have a routine here that I will be able to stick to. It's the unknown unknown's of social events that I'm not doing great with. No more social events for 4.5 weeks though so fingers crossed I can make it another stone+ between now and then.