Lottie's Diary

Well here we are. The symbolic start of a new diary can only mean one thing: I'm getting my act together.

About me: I'm 32 years old, live in Northamptonshire with my lovely husband and our little bear-cat I have had weight issues as long as I can remember. I was on diets and slimming aids since I was 8 or 9, and basically got into the whole yoyo cycle, gaining even more weight after each diet. At my slimmest I was 10st. This was due to weight loss surgery which I had to have reversed. After the reversal, I had a lot of emotional/mental issues, escalating a mild issue with binge eating into a fully fledged "disorder". I regained almost all the weight I had lost. Then I got my binge eating under control thanks to group therapy.

Anyway - to cut a very long story short, I have done a range of diets over the past few years, some with great success, but unfortunately none that I didn't regain it all again. I am feeling ready to have another try, because all in all, I'm really happy with my life at the moment, and I feel like this time things can be different. I feel motivated and in control, so I am going to make the most of it.

I havd a tendency to flit between different diet plans, but to start with my plan is vlcd shakes for breakfast and lunch and a sensible evening meal. I'm not going to be too restrictive about my evening meal though, but not fake-aways - just try it for a week and see what happens. Hopefully as I have a lot to lose that will be ok for a while until I decide my ndxt steps. I'm guessing I weigh around 19 and a half stone, but will do an official start weight tomorrow.

Here we go!

Ah its a relief to have started day 1 So far so good, nothing consumed apart from coffee and water as yet. My official starting weight this morning is 18st 12.5lbs, so a good half stone less than I was expecting which is always a bonus

I am sitting at my desk at work, blatantly not in the mood to do anything today. I'm feeling a bit grumpy today, but I'm putting that down to it being a monday!Not long til lunch time, I will go sit in the local park with my shake and top up my vitamin D levels.

Dinner tonight is hunter's chicken with potato and cabbage cakes and cauliflower (all made by hubby!) Yummy, can't wait. Here's hoping today flies by...

Hey lottiebird,

best of luck with your re-boot. I will be jumping back on the bandwagon later this week.

I love hunters chicken

Well, weeks later and I'm back with my tail between my legs. I am fed up with my dilly-dallying and false starts. I'm NOT starting a new diary again in a few months after gaining a few more stone like I always do.

Tomorrow is a weigh in day, and I am actually going to start changing. My bevaviour and habits are the issue, and what I need to focus on. Have had a good talk with my husband tonight, getting his perspective on what would be a good approach. I am going to record everything I eat, before I eat it, and highlight anything off-plan. I'm going to have 2 meal replacements during the day, a reasonable dinner and low fat dessert. Plus 1 takeaway per week.

I will review things weekly, and modify things if I'm not losing. And I'm not going to beat myself up about what is already in the past. Yes I will have gained tomorrow, but tomorrow is a good day, the start of something awesome

Today I've been doing a lot of reflection, maybe too much. I'm constantly feeling anxious that I need to sort myself out NOW and really beating myself up. It's stupid, I've been 100% on track and that's what I need to focus on.

I spent more time talking things through with my husband, he really is so supportive and I don't know what I'd do without him. He really bigged up how well I had done to stick to my plan and record everything and he reassured me that he thinks I'm gorgeous He honestly doesn't seem to mind my weight at all, despite me being about 7 stone heavier than when we met. He is supportive because he sees how much it is affecting me.

I think failing for so long has really knocked my confidence and my belief that I will sort my weight out once and for all. That kind of thinking will only lead to failure! So I'm going to try being kinder to myself, try to be level-headed about addressing my weight. And to BREATHE!! Stress is not conducive to losing weight in my case

Tomorrow I'm going to focus on sticking to my diet, but also to my hydration and sleep. Self-care in general. I will also up my activity level and go for a walk at lunchtime. Although all these things help with weight loss, the main benefit for me is the improvement to my headspace, and a sense of achievement, which is much needed at the moment!

Another day on track and that is despite a rubbish day at work. My boss is such a moron sometimes... Trying to not give her too much of my headspace!

I have had 2 vlcd shakes and lots of water and coffee today. I made sure I had a good nights sleep last night, but woke up knackered! Will repeat it tonight and hopefully feel the benefit! Activity wise, just my walk to work and back again, I didn't take a lunch break.

Tonight I'm going to chill with hubby as he goes away for a few nights in the morning. Game of Thrones and Sons of Anarchy methinks Tuesday is also our agreed take-away night so I am going to have a small pizza. I normally have a large one plus sides, so hopefully a small one will be ok. If my weight stalls as a result I will switch to a lower kcal take-away like chicken shish or a small Chinese. Home made pizzas just don't compare in my opinion!

Day 3 of 3 on track

I am up far too late, so I'll keep it brief tonight. I had my shakes during the day, followed by grilled chicken in pitta with heaps of salad.

Tomorrow I am working from home, which is quite rare and I have heaps to do! Luckily no junk food in the house to tempt me.

Here's to another good day tomorrow

Well done. Keep motivated and remember why ur losing weight in the first place. Its so easy to forget when them cravings kick in! Keep up the good work

jojo14 said:

Well done. Keep motivated and remember why ur losing weight in the first place. Its so easy to forget when them cravings kick in! Keep up the good work

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Thanks Jojo I don't focus nearly enough on why I'm doing this. So...

The main reasons I want to lose weight (in no particular order) are:

1. To stop feeling so unfit - especially on the hill on the way home
2. To fit into my smaller clothes comfortably again - it will be like a whole new wardrobe when I get back into size 16!
3. To decrease my foot and back pain
4. To look sexy for my husband
5. To feel my age

I might add this to my first post to look back on and add to actually.

So today was day 4, worked from home as planned, and dietted as planned! I have averaged my daily calories from my fitness pal over the 4 days and its around 1500kcal. Everything feels manageable and sustainable, its really nice not to have too much restriction with my dinners.

I've just done a food order and my dinner plans for the next few days are:

Friday: Pulled pork and salad wraps
Saturday: Pasta with philly light and something veg or bacon...
Sunday: low fat bangers, mash, veg, yorkshire
Monday: All day breakfast

I will also have my 2 shakes a day at around 300kcals.

Pleased you've had another good day. Ive felt crap all day after a night shift and just wanted comfort food. So I had pizza for tea. But least it wasn't takeaway. I worked out on my fitness pal Ive had about 1800 calories today. The past two weeks I've been sticking to 1200. So hope I haven't done too much damage.

Woot woot, weighed in this morning and 6.5lbs off!

I haven't posted much the last few days, probably because I'm in the zone so I don't feel the need to brain-dump as often

I must say this feels really easy and sustainable so far, so fingers crossed the numbers on the scale will keep going the right way if I keep doing what I'm doing.

lottiebird said:

Woot woot, weighed in this morning and 6.5lbs off! I haven't posted much the last few days, probably because I'm in the zone so I don't feel the need to brain-dump as often I must say this feels really easy and sustainable so far, so fingers crossed the numbers on the scale will keep going the right way if I keep doing what I'm doing.

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That's amazing
You must be feeling so pleased,
I've read your previous posts and although I've not had weight loss surgery I can certainly relate to the emotional feelings,
Carry on Hun
Your amazing xxx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

Thats brilliant! Well done nearly half a stone! Them stones will soon .elt away

Thank you both Yes I am over the moon with that amount, there was plenty of water bloating I'm sure, so can't really take all the credit

I have had a rubbish couple of days... my gran has motor neoron disease, and she had a really bad choke and nearly died

I ate plenty I shouldn't have, but she is out of the woods now, and tomorrow is a new day. I may have blown it for my weigh in this week, but I'm not going to fixate on that - I'm going to put that energy into getting on track instead.

I'm going to make sure I drink my vlcd shakes and plenty of water. Then tacos for dinner. I will make a point to get onto my fitness pal too and keeping my calories in check.

On saturday we are going for lunch with the in-laws, and all I can think of is how much weight I've gained since the last time we saw them... This is a feeling i have had so many times in my life - its horrible. Hopefully this wilk be the last time i feel that way.

My plan is to make that my meal for the day, though I do always worry about being hungry at bedtime. We don't go out to eat very often so its not a recurring situation thankfully!

Keep positive hun. I've had a couple of bad days. Found my self munching on the evening so worried about weigh day Saturday. Document everything you eat. It helps.

jojo14 said:

Keep positive hun. I've had a couple of bad days. Found my self munching on the evening so worried about weigh day Saturday. Document everything you eat. It helps.

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Thanks Jojo, you're so right. I'm really good at "forgetting" what I've been eating when I've been bad! All the best for WI tomorrow.

My gran is doing better, and so am I! So here's to 3 good days before my weigh in!

lottiebird you will find you fall off for some reason or another but will be straight back on it

Oh sweetheart hope your gran is doing well lovely - and that you're feeling calmer xx I bet your inlaws didn't even notice, they'd just be looking forward to seeing you both xx

Thanks guys my gran is doing MUCH better, she is peaceful and starting to eat so that's a relief.

In laws were great, hubby's gran kept saying how lovely I looked so I needn't have worried We went to their local for lunch and a splashed out on beer-battered cod, peas and twice cooked chips - seriously yummy! That's all I have had apart from milk in my coffee.

I've had a long nap this afternoon, so planning on a late night, Big Brother with the husband a cat-son and plenty of minimins-surfing methinks.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend