Rita von Ruben's "Lots to Lose = More opportunities to win!" Food Diary

Like my introduction post, I'm not really sure where to start. So here goes...

~ About Me:

I've been overweight all my life, ever since I was a very young child. I've tried various diets ever since I was young, including Weight Watchers, Slimming World, Lighter Life/Cambridge Diet, Xenical and more. I'm now coming up to 25 years old and haven't been on a diet since I was around 14-15. After a childhood of diets, dieticians and food diaries, I can honestly say I gave up and thought I'd always be fat. I think part of me thinks I still will be, but I am trying my best to start officially dieting again, for the first time in around a decade.


~ Health Problems:

I've had various health problems since I was a child which have made the weight difficult to shift (such as asthma as well as emotional/mental health problems, PCOS, depression and anxiety). At the moment I'm in a difficult place in terms of my mental health, so getting out and about is not an easy task, or something that happens on a regular basis at all. Even though I've always been very overweight, at least when my mental health was better and I was studying full time I was out and about walking around for hours a day. Unfortunately for the past few years I have been very much a hermit and my fitness levels have dwindled to nothing.


~ Why I Want to Lose Weight:

Basically, I want to lose weight to be able to live life. I want to be able to go on holiday with my partner. I want to get on a plane without worrying that I won't fit in the seat. I want to buy clothes that fit me and look good. Most of all I want to be healthy enough to walk and run around for hours to go exploring and adventuring and do all sorts of exciting things. I want a life, not an existence.


~ Diet and Exercise:

From tomorrow I will be starting the Slimming World Extra Easy plan.

My current exercise regime amounts to furiously typing on my laptop and playing with my kittens, so this is where I need the most drastic change, I think. I tried a Zumba basics DVD this morning and was utterly disgusted by how uncoordinated, slow and unbalanced I am. I lasted about two moves in before I gave up out of humiliation. I can feel the rhythm, but apparently that doesn't translate very well to my flabby bits. Going to try get over the humiliating and degrading feelings and try again!


~ Short Term Goals:

Within a year:

• Stick to my diet, and if I fall off the horse, get straight back on again!
• Don't allow myself to quit or give up.
• Introduce exercise to my daily routine, small amounts at first and increase gradually.
• Go for regular walks with the boyfriend.
• Reach the top of the local landmark hill.
• Aim to walk up aforementioned hill on a regular basis.
• Try to fit into a swimming costume and go swimming weekly again!
• Improve my confidence.
• Go on holiday, somewhere scenic with lots of walking and excitement.
• Reach or surpass my initial target weight of 252lbs.

~ Long Term Goals:

• Be able to walk in high heels.
• Be able to wear knee high boots.
• Be able to wear 50's style knee length dresses.
• Be able to wear short sleeve tops, leggings, pretty lingerie, swimming costumes, sexy clothes and pretty much anything I desire.
• Be happier, healthier and fitter.
• Continue exercising. Do lots of exciting things!
• Go scuba diving, swim with dolphins and spend a day at a water park.
• Go abroad, multiple times. Have holidays and enjoy them!
• Learn some sexy burlesque dance moves.
• ... and be able to pull them off!
• Find some boobs. Get a figure good enough for pretty corsetry.
• Learn to ride a bike.
• More swimming!
• Reach long term goal of size 16-18. If you can make it to a size 14, be even more ecstatic!
• Aim for approximately 165lbs. If you can lose more, even better!
• Be happy.

I guess that's all I can really say for now. I'm not sure what joining this forum will accomplish for me, but I'm hoping I may find some support and inspiration here for the times I feel low and feel like giving up.

Diets have never worked for me in the past. I want this time to be different.

So tomorrow will be Day One of my online food diary. I'm hoping that making it public will prevent me from lying to myself, comfort eating and to be realistic with my goals (any any achievements!).

~RvR

Hi RVR,
Good luck with your weightloss!!
You'll be seeing those scales go down in no time.
I'm coming up 25 too and wanted to do something about my weight, and nows as good a time to start as anything.

Hope your first day goes well tomorrow

Laurenporkchop
xxx

Thanks Lauren

Well I've been feeling quite positive about starting SW EE today, until breakfast this morning, that is!

I didn't think I ate that much, really. Certainly not enough to be as fat as I am. Sometimes I skip breakfast and only eat two meals a day. I rarely ever snack.

However, I've had my HExB this morning, 30g of honey nut shredded wheat with some milk from my measured out HExA allowance. I had no idea the cereal portions were so small! It barely covered the bottom of the bowl I couldn't help but think "If the portion sizes are so small, why do they make bowls so big?!"

Since then I've scoffed two small bananas and a mullerlight. Still feeling hungry and can't wait for my Joe's Sausage delivery to arrive so that I can eat lunch! Just hope I like the sausages!

Doesn't sound like you've eaten too much brekkie, the cereal portions are insanely small after all!!

How were the sausages?
xx

laurenporkchop said:

Doesn't sound like you've eaten too much brekkie, the cereal portions are insanely small after all!!

How were the sausages?
xx

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Lovely!

I'm usually very picky with sausages, I dislike "finest" type brands and anything where the meat is kind of "chunky" or there is any risk of gristle. I usually eat Richmond sausages which don't have a terribly high meat content but always have a great texture. The Joe's ones are obviously very different - they're very, very, very dense! Thick and heavy, weighty and meaty! They're a lot more dense than the premium supermarket brands and such, IMO. The texture took a little getting used to at first but I actually preferred them to most "premium" sausages I've tried Very tasty and good to know that they are free! I had some apple and pork ones, looking forward to trying the other flavours I bought too

Coming up to the end of my first dieting day. I have to say, it was actually tougher than I imagined. I've never thought about food so much before! I do hope these obsessive thoughts will reduce over time.

I enjoy my food, I enjoy cooking and I enjoy eating. But I've spent today planning every meal before I'd even eaten breakfast - and not just for today either! I've done some batch cooking (superfree cauliflower curry sauce and also attempted a vegetable based tomato sauce for pasta, but it didn't turn out so well), and have also got a syn-free chicken casserole in the pressure cooker at the moment (well, probably many portions of it)

I'm quite full now, so apart from the possibility of a cuppa to finish off some of my HExA milk allowance I can't imagine I'll eat again before bed. Today's diary as follows:

Breakfast
250ml semi-skimmed milk (HExA)
30g Nestlé Honey Nut Shredded Wheat (HExB)
Two "funsize" bananas
Strawberry Muller Light
Tea (using milk allowance and sweetener. BLEUGH to sweetener! Going to syn tea and have sugar from now on!)

Lunch
4 Joe's sausages
Button Mushrooms
1 Egg
Tin of beans
(Yes, I was stuffed! I never usually eat this much at lunch but I was starving after breakfast! )

Snack
Strawberries

Dinner
2 small baked potatoes
2/3rds plate of salad (iceberg, some other lettuce, carrots, spring onions, no dressing)
2 tbsp lurpak for potatoes (11 syns)

Drinks
Fanta Zero
Tea and green tea

Syns used: 11

Day 2. Still having obsessive thoughts, but it was easier than yesterday. Really enjoyed having different HEx's today, was much more filling! Also getting more green tea into my diet and will be trying to cut down on the fizzy low cal drinks and switch them for water (eventually).

Breakfast
3 Joe's Sausages
2 Scrambled eggs
Button Mushrooms

Lunch
4 Ryvita original (HExB)
1 35g Philadelphia Light (1/2 HExA)

Snacks
2 Pink Lady apples

Dinner
2 Joe's Cajun Pork Steaks
2 small baked potatoes
1/3rd plate of salad (iceberg, some other lettuce, carrots, spring onions, no dressing)
2 tsp lurpak for potatoes (4 syns)

Snacks
4 Ryvita Original (6 syns)
1 35g Philadelphia Light (2/2 HExA)

Drinks
Fanta Zero/Sprite Zero
Green tea

Syns used: 10

Day 3. Feeling a little depressed today. Started my period and my hormones are all over the place. Keep having horrible sabotaging thoughts about how worthless I am, how there's no point to this, how it'll never work... Despite that, I've managed to stick to the diet. I did turn to chocolate after a particularly bad craving, but did so in moderation and within my syn limit.

Breakfast
3 Joe's Sausages
2 Frylight fried eggs
1 tbsp Heinz ketchup (1 syn)

Lunch
4 Ryvita original (HExB)
1 35g Philadelphia Light (1/2 HExA)
1 Mullerlight
1 Banana

Snacks
1 Pink Lady apple
1 Mullerlight
1 Banana

Dinner
Lean Stir Fry Beef
Sharwoods Medium egg noodles
Soy sauce
Chilli
Garlic
4 tsp honey (4 syns)

Snacks
Nestle Milky Bar Buttons, 30g bag (8 syns)

Drinks
Fanta Zero/Sprite Zero
Green tea

Syns used: 13

I only used half of my HExA, so I will more than likely have a small measured glass of milk before bed.

Day 4. Epically failed on the superfree and vegetable front today, but managed to stick to the plan. Lots of sweet cravings today.

Breakfast
Big plate of Strawberries w/free sweetener
Strawberry muller light

Lunch
4 dairy lea light triangles (HExA)
4 ryvita original (HExB)
Mango and passion fruit muller light

Dinner
Joe's chinese marinade chicken breasts
Boiled rice

Snacks
Butterkist cinema sweet popcorn, 25g (6.5 syns)

Drinks
Fanta Zero/Sprite Zero
Large mug of Tea (dash of milk + 3 sugars, 3.5 syns)

Syns used: 10

Hi RVR,

Musy be a 25 thing. Im 25 this year too and determined to lose weight before then.

You seem to be doin well iv struggled today, been craving sugr sugar sugar

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

BigLisa said:

Hi RVR,

Musy be a 25 thing. Im 25 this year too and determined to lose weight before then.

You seem to be doin well iv struggled today, been craving sugr sugar sugar

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

Click to expand...

That's exactly how I was yesterday! I'm not sure if it's the fact that my tastebuds have matured as I've gotten older, but I'm finding that fruit really does help satisfy sweet cravings (it never used to!). Things like strawberries with sweetener or a pink lady apple usually get me through it. But, this is only my first week So no doubt I'll be tearing my hair out with sugar cravings soon! Hehe.

Also, a ripe banana dipped into a banana and custard mullerlight is delicious and really hits the sweet spot

Day 5. Did a little better on the superfree/veggie front today. Had a cheeky sneak peek and weighed myself - I appear to have lost 4lbs! I just hope they stay off for weigh-in day on Tuesday

Breakfast
1 Pink Lady apple
1 Strawberry Mullerlight

Lunch
2 Joe's Pork, Chilli and garlic burgers
1 tbsp Branston Tomato and Red Pepper relish (1 syn)

Snack
1 Braeburn Apple
2 Strawberry Mullerlight

Dinner
Syn free KFC style chicken (HExB for breadcrumbs)
Syn free chips
1/2 plate of salad (lettuce, cucumber, grated carrot)
2 tbsp ketchup (2 syns)

Drinks
Fanta Zero
Green tea
Tea (sugar and milk (HExA + 3 syns)
Glass of milk (remaining HExA)

Syns used: 6

Day 6. Did well today. Found it quite easy, cravings weren't so bad Though I did sleep in late and nap in the afternoon! I guess my sleep patterns are a little all over the place. And I had quite a busy day yesterday - at least, adventurous compared to my usual routine!

Breakfast
Strawberry Muller light
Tea (sugar + milk HExA, 3 syns)

A couple of spoonfuls of "syn free scan bran ginger cake" - was going to eat half and use it as my HExB but decided I didn't really like it! So I'm guesstimating it at less than one syn (since I had nowhere near a 5th of the cake!), so will round it up to one syn

Lunch
2 slices of brown bread (HExB)
3 Joe's sausages
3 rashers of lean bacon medallions
1 frylight fried egg
1 tbsp ketchup (1 syn)

Snack
A small handful of "syn-free microwaved crisps", courtesy of the boyfriend's experimentation! (Must remind him, next time, don't burn them, haha).

Tea w/sweetener and milk (HExA)
Two bowls of strawberries with sweetener.


Dinner
Cajun chicken salad.
(Big plate of iceberg lettuce, cucumber, two grated carrots and half a red onion with cajun spice chicken breast)

Snack
Couple handfuls of grapes

Drinks
Fanta Zero
Tea (sugar + milk HExA, 3 syns)
Glass of milk (remaining HExA)

Syns used: 8

Hi RVR

Had a little read at your diary entries..looks great I see your coming upto your first week..hope you get a good kick-start weight loss to set you on your way.

I can identify with your current situation..ive been there myself..but through 1 thing or another i'm in such a diffrent place now..and changing my lifestyle is helping me also..im more determined/focused than i ever thought.

I wish you great success with your eating plan..will pop by to see how your doing..

Good Luck

Hi RVR, The first thing that struck me about your post was that it was so,so,so neat. Looked like the result of a beautiful A* grade typing exam !

You have done brilliantly to stick with it this far and to resist cravings. Just carry on in that way and you will get where you want to be.

Two recommendations for you. Firstly read little Flutterbys blog,she has lost a good amount of weight and started feeling just how you say you do. She is a real inspiration. Secondly,breakfast cereals go a lot further if you layer them with fruit and a couple of different flavoured yoghurts in a sunday glass. They look pretty, take ages to eat and that measily amount in the scale is transformed into a really satidfying breakfast.

Wishing you oodles of good luck

x-lizbif-x said:

Hi RVR

Had a little read at your diary entries..looks great I see your coming upto your first week..hope you get a good kick-start weight loss to set you on your way.

I can identify with your current situation..ive been there myself..but through 1 thing or another i'm in such a diffrent place now..and changing my lifestyle is helping me also..im more determined/focused than i ever thought.

I wish you great success with your eating plan..will pop by to see how your doing..

Good Luck

Click to expand...

Thank you lizbif!

I see you've had some great losses! Well done!

I'm hoping that the improvements in my mental health and optimism over the past year or so has put me in a better frame of mind for dieting than I ever have been. I certainly feel like it has. It feels like a challenge now, something that I need to channel the rage over and kick it's arse! Whereas before it felt more like something heartbreakingly sad and painful to even think about. I still feel like that sometimes, but I'm able to overcome those thoughts with determination. I just hope it stays that way and I don't revert to how I used to be! I think I do have a better perspective on it now, and certainly more motivation than I ever have before.

I'm also quite surprised at just how much blurting all this emotional stuff out to a bunch of strangers is actually helping. I find it very motivational to have to come here every evening and post my diary publicly, as well as giving me the opportunity to talk about the way I feel, highs and lows, with people who are more likely to understand than some of the pretty-skinny-confident-people in my life

jilly said:

Hi RVR, The first thing that struck me about your post was that it was so,so,so neat. Looked like the result of a beautiful A* grade typing exam !

You have done brilliantly to stick with it this far and to resist cravings. Just carry on in that way and you will get where you want to be.

Two recommendations for you. Firstly read little Flutterbys blog,she has lost a good amount of weight and started feeling just how you say you do. She is a real inspiration. Secondly,breakfast cereals go a lot further if you layer them with fruit and a couple of different flavoured yoghurts in a sunday glass. They look pretty, take ages to eat and that measily amount in the scale is transformed into a really satidfying breakfast.

Wishing you oodles of good luck

Click to expand...

Haha, thank you jilly, I suppose it's a side-effect of being a bit of a (read: total) nerd!

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement, I really appreciate it.

I will certainly check out Flutterbys blog, it sounds very inspirational and could be just the thing I need. I think one of the more frustrating things for me at the moment is the complete and utter obsession with food and dieting. I spend vast amounts of my time thinking about what it will be like to be thinner, how it will feel, what clothes I will wear, the holidays I would like to go on... sometimes discouraging thoughts about how long it will take, or what if it doesn't work, but I try to focus on the positive. I feel like if I keep obsessing over positive thoughts, they'll always be there in the forefront of my mind and will help me stay on track! It sounds so incredibly silly but this diet is one of the biggest parts of my life at the moment, and certainly the most important thing in my daily routine. I guess I'm in a very different position to most people, as I don't have children and can't work due to my health problems, so I tend to have a lot of time to spare! At least the diet and thoughts of long term goals are keeping me occupied and motivated

Thank you so much for the breakfast cereals suggestion. I do love big bowls of crunchy nut with chopped banana and milk, but haven't had any since starting the diet, so I really should try to experiment with other cereals, fruits and yogurts! I also read a thread on this forum about the benefits of a protein filled breakfast as an aid to weight loss, so perhaps I'll try to eat more protein at breakfast and have the cereal/fruit/etc for lunch instead. Do you have any personal favourites of which cereal/fruit combinations you prefer? I don't think I've ever tried cereal with yogurt before, though I did buy some fat free natural yogurt and fat free fromage frais, so I could try it with both

Hi! Just read your diary sounds like your doing great! I struggled at first! Not a massive fruit or veg fan and I have been craving sweet thing but i to also found that fruit is now satisfying this=] I noticed in your diary that u had 4 ryvita as a heb! And syned 4 but I'm sure you can have 6 as a heb and 6 dairylea exl triangles! Have you joined class or have u borrowed someone's books?? I only joined this year and my cinsultant said that there had been quite a few changes!

sl1nkyminny said:

Hi! Just read your diary sounds like your doing great! I struggled at first! Not a massive fruit or veg fan and I have been craving sweet thing but i to also found that fruit is now satisfying this=] I noticed in your diary that u had 4 ryvita as a heb! And syned 4 but I'm sure you can have 6 as a heb and 6 dairylea exl triangles! Have you joined class or have u borrowed someone's books?? I only joined this year and my cinsultant said that there had been quite a few changes!

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Hi sl1nkyminny,

Thank you for the words of encouragement

I'm not a fruit or veg fan either, especially not veg! I really have to force myself to eat it!

I've signed up online, I'm not confident enough for classes I'm afraid, and it's not really possible for me with my anxiety problems On my Extra Easy sheet it says I can have 4 Ryvita original as a HExB and 4 Dairy Lea Light triangles. But you can have 6 The Laughing Cow Extra Light Triangles and 6 Ryvita Wholegrain Crackerbread, so it's probably just the difference in the nutritional values between brands and the fact that I had original Ryvita instead of wholegrain Ryvita

I believe if you've joined the classes you should have got a pin card type thing, which you can then use to register online. If you register online you can get the most up to date lists for HEx's and Syns and such, as they seem to add more to them quite often