Down with Spanx!

Hi all, I'm new here, although by no means new to dieting! In fact, I lost 3st a few years ago on SW, but, due to illness, laziness (when it comes to exercise anyway!!!) and some personal stuff, I've put it all back on and more.

I'm unable to join a SW club this time round, so I'm hoping that writing this will keep me on the straight and narrow and that maybe some of you will read this and recognise a kindred spirit - your thoughts and comments will be very welcome. Also, I need a place to vent!

Some of you reading this might not like the 'poking fun at yourself' approach - but it works for me. Yes, I've listened to Paul McKenna, Susan Hepburn et al, and I know that you have to love yourself first, and I do, I just don't show it very often (a bit like my ex-husband!!!)

OK, here goes...

So, what's led to this new wave of willpower and optimism? I could tell you that there's an awful lot of change going on in my life at the moment (divorce, redundancy, hitting 40...) and I feel the need to regain control in at least one area of my life. That's all true, but, to be frank, the crunch moment came just over a week ago, when I saw a photo of myself in a wetsuit whilst scuba diving on holiday. I'm amazed no one called Greenpeace to report a beached whale...! Anyway, after a few months of faffing around pretending to diet, I decided enough is enough and I'm now back on the wagon, bigtime!

To boost willpower on those dark days ahead, here's a list of the things I hate about being fat:

• Clothes shopping - for any number of reasons. Why is it that changing room mirrors make you look sooooo huge? Also, the fact that you can never go clothes shopping with your skinny friends - why on earth would they want to hang around in Evans all afternoon?!
• The exercise Catch-22. Yes, I need to exercise to lose weight, but until I lose weight, there's no way I'm getting into a swimsuit, or joining a gym. Thank God for the Wii!
• That roll of fat you get over the top of your bra-strap just under your armpits - enough said.
• Chafing thighs in summer - also, enough said.
• Walking into a room and immediately looking to see if you're the largest person in there - and the feeling you get when you realise that yes, you are...
• The fact that my weight is now stopping me from doing things I'd otherwise do - and lots of things I wouldn't (like skydiving, but hey, it's the principle of the thing!)
• Sports day at school - last year the mum's race was 'jumping down the track with a bean bag between your knees' - seriously?!! I think I caused a minor earthquake...!
• Plane journeys, train journeys, or going to the theatre, cinema or footy and having to press thighs with a stranger because the seats are closely-packed and it's too uncomfortable to cross your legs in a confined space.
• Big boobs. I've always had them. They were about a 36FF when I was at my slimmest adult weight (about 11.5 stone), but now they're a whopping 40HH. I wonder how much each one weighs?! And yes, this point is directly related to the sports day point above...!
• The fact that intelligent, sane, rational people (myself included!) will spend an absolute fortune on the latest wonder cure for obesity. Oh yes, I've been there - diet pills, herbal supplements, special teas, patches - you name it, I've spent money on it! Not this time!
• Shying away from the camera. I've got loads of pictures of all the great holidays I've been on in the last 15 years, but I'm not in any of them (recent wetsuit debacle aside!). The last time I willingly posed for the camera was at my graduation in 1989!

I'm sure I'll add to this list as I go on, but that's probably enough to be getting on with for now!

So, this week was my first back on the wagon and it went pretty well. I had that 'new diet zeal' and avoided chocolate, cake, crisps and icecream, apart from one night at the cinema. Went to see Sex and the City 2 straight from work with the girlies. It's really long (and, IMO not very good!) and by 8pm we were starving. The cinema delivers cakes and icecream to your seat...how could anyone resist?!

Weigh-in this morning and I've lost 8lb! Think this is partly due to the fact that last week I weighed in the morning after flying back from holiday - so I was still probably bloated from the flight, but hey - well done me!

Goal for this week - do some exercise! Have bought 'Just Dance' for the Wii in the hopes that it will feel more like fun than exercise and that I can get my son to play along...

So, if you've read this far, thanks and I hope it wasn't too painful! See you next time,

Spanx

Forgot to add - combined 40th birthday party and England match BBQ today - eek! Wish me luck...

I read you list and laughed soooo much - its like a mirror of my life!
Ive just empied a cupboard of herbal crap, patches and gizmos to make weight loss a breeze ( not!)

Good luck hun x x x x

Best of luck with your weight loss. I love your sense of humour and related to so much of what you said. Sometimes it helps to be able to not take yourself too seriously.

Q

Thanks Jen and Queenie - I have to laugh at myself, otherwise I might cry!

I totally agree!
My epiphany was trying to squeeze my chunky leg into a pai of my hubbies wellies - half way on but needed 2 people to pull it back off!

moomintrolljen said:

I totally agree!
My epiphany was trying to squeeze my chunky leg into a pai of my hubbies wellies - half way on but needed 2 people to pull it back off!

Click to expand...

Ha! Yes, I can certainly empathise - the thing I didn't mention was that I was scuba diving with my Dad, who's not huge, but is generously built. The instructor told him that if he couldn't get into his wetsuit, she'd take us one at a time, 'cos he'd certainly get into mine!!!!

Well done on your success so far - keep going! x

Thanks hun - I find the plan really suits me and the support on here is amazing - Ive made some really good friends on here x

hi spanx, i can totally relate to poking fun at yourself. i do it all the time but no one else is allowed to... cos im witty and they are plain rude lol. welcome to minis, lovely to have you on board. xxx

Hiya Spanx! I also agree about poking fun at yourself, and like Karen, I'm allowed to poke fun at myself, but nobody else is allowed to, lol! I identified with soooooo many of your points about being fat! It's great that you have such a sense of humour hun

I've also bought Just Dance for the Wii - I have never ached so much in all my life as I did after doing 1.5 hours on that! My arms have only just recovered, lol! It's great exercise though - and it will definitely do until I'm slim enough to fit into a swimsuit

Sian xxx

Hi Karen and Sian - glad to see I'm not alone in the 'poking fun at yourself' club!

Mind you, it's a very British trait isn't it - I remember being at an Eddie Izzard show in New York once, and he did a sketch explaining that Shakespeare was from Stratford, which is near Birmingham, where 'they all talk funny'. He then recited the Hamlet speech in a Brummie accent:

'To bay, or not to bay, bab, that is the question, like...'!

I was sitting next to an American woman and we'd been chatting in the interval, so she knew I lived near Stratford. She couldn't believe I was laughing so hard the tears were rolling down my cheeks at the Shakespeare sketch - she even said to me at the end - 'How could you laugh? Wasn't he insulting you?!' She couldn't get that someone could laugh at themselves...!

So, having listed some of the things I hate about being fat, today I'm going to get a little more serious and talk about why I want to be slim... I'm sure I'll be saying nothing new to you all, we probably all have similar motivations, but, again, I think it will help me to write it down, so that I can revisit it in the months to come!

Health

• I've noticed lately that I'm out of breath if I even climb one flight of stairs. I fell over a couple of months ago and twisted my ankle - I'm sure it was worse because of my weight and it still hurts now. Also, I have a bad back and I know that it gets worse the heavier I am.
• About three years ago, I had gallstones, which ended up with me vomiting all the time, in pain all the time and in hospital for a week with severe dehydration and jaundice. I then had to have my gallbladder removed and since then, the weight has piled on. People seem to react to having their gallbladder out differently, some lose loads of weight, some put it on - guess which I am?! Anyway, if you're one of the people who put weight on, they suggest sticking to a very low fat diet - SW is perfect!
• Three women in my family have Irritable Bowel or Crohn's disease, and my aunt died in her mid-50s from Bowel Cancer.

Family

• I have a 9 year old son. He likes junk food too much and doesn't exercise enough. What kind of example have I been setting him?
• I refuse to take him swimming, unless we're on holiday where I won't risk bumping into anyone I know.
• I get out of breath even playing with him on the Wii.

Relationships

• I separated from my husband last year. While I currently have no desire to be on the dating scene, one day I might want a relationship and there's no way I'm getting naked with anyone in this state!

My weight is affecting my life

• Last year, my old classmates organised a class reunion. About 20 people, many of whom I haven't seen for 20 years, met up for a meal and a catch-up. I was meant to be going, but chickened out at the last moment, as I was too embarrassed to be seen.
• I'm being made redundant at the end of the year and should be starting to look for a new job. I'm dreading going to an interview - I've got it into my head that they won't be able to see past my weight and they'll be thinking 'how can we trust her to deliver for us, when she can't even control herself?'
• I work in PR, where first impressions and appearances count. All my workmates are skinny and dress really well!
• I've always been really confident. I'm intelligent and I've done really well for myself in my career. Now, however, I find I'm doubting my ability to get a new job because of my weight.

So, in the tradition of positive thinking, I'm concentrating really hard to visualise a slim, healthy me, with a slim, energetic son, a new man in my life (maybe, but only if he mows the lawn, washes the car, removes spiders humanely and is really good in bed!) and a fantastic job.

Repeat after me - I can do this, I can do this...!

Again Spanx a fab post - Im with you on so many points there - swimming with the kids, teaching them the wrong way of eating and the class reunion - gutted I missed it

Loving your take on all this and looking forward to your next post x x x x

Spanx - my fellow Solihull pal!!! (i love finding local people!) your diary is brilliant - i shall be reading avidly now xxx

Thanks Jen and Elle!

So, time for the first in what will probably become a new feature - 'kick up the backside of the day':

Girlys at work have a weekly weigh-in. Of course, I don't partake, far too embarrassed about anyone knowing how much I weigh! They generally report how much they've lost/gained rather than how much they weigh, so I've not really ever thought about it too much...

One of the girlys is soooo glam - very attractive, always dresses in designer clothes, very slim (prob a size 6, but a healthy one if you know what I mean), enviable collection of shoes and bags etc etc!! Quite clearly the kind of person you'd love to hate, but she's so nice, you can't even feel better by thinking 'yeah, she might have all that, but she's a complete b*tch!!!'

She's been off on some exotic trip, trekking somewhere with lots of walking and not a 5* hotel with its all-inclusive buffet in sight and I thought to myself when she got back a week or so ago that she looked even slimmer than usual...

At the weigh-in today, she had indeed lost weight - she's now 7st 12! That's less than half what I weigh at the moment!

That was certainly the kick up the backside I needed to keep on the straight and narrow when I went out for a meal tonight (at the Harvester Elle, the one that used to be Jeffersons...)!

So, I felt very virtuous when, instead of the breaded mushrooms and chicken smothered in sauce that I usually have I opted for Chicken and Bacon stack, with BBQ sauce on the side (dipped into very sparingly!), a jacket with no butter or sour cream and peas. I even managed to avoid warm bread rolls and all the salad with dressings on, except for treating myself to 1 tbsp of coleslaw to go on my JP and I discarded one of the slices of cheese from the top of the stack! Drank 1 diet coke and 1 black coffee - so reckon total syns (green day, chicken and gammon 2HEB) probably about 8!

I've also been listening to Paul McKenna's CD and listened to the exercise motivation one last night - today I went for a walk in my lunch hour and used the stairs all day instead of the lift (I work on the 5th floor, so not bad!).

Well done me!

woo Spanx you should have waved at me when you was at Harvester
well done on being so good there, its difficult - i usually have 'boring' Simple Chicken.....but i think your choice is much nicer!!!
xx

Afternoon Spanx...
Only just spotted you are doing a diary.... another place for me to loiter and pick up hints n tips
I can sooooo understand many of your reasons why you have decided that now is the time to start on the "getting healthier" journey.
Your meal at the harvester sounded nomnomnom -I may have to put something like that together at home -Im sure a couple of my SW books have BBQ sauce in -I did one not so long ago... that stack sound like a lovely saturday evening "non-naughty -naughty meal" :drool:

Yonks ago I listened to the paul McKenna "I can make you slim" CD and read the book and do you know it is still in my head -I really think he makes sense and combined with SW Im sure we will do this...
so you are right "YOU CAN DO THIS"
Take care and keep up the great work:clap:

Thanks Capricorn! I got a recipe from the section on this site (what a godsend it is!) for BBQ sauce, which I'm going to try this weekend with chicken:

[FONT=&quot]SYN FREE BBQ SAUCE[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]BBQ sauce recipe

1 onion, peeled and roughly chopped
1 tsp mild chilli powder
227ml/8fl oz passata
3 tbsp artifical sweetner
4 tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 tbsp worcestershire sauce
1/2 tsp mustard powder
salt and freshly ground black pepper.

balsamic vinegar and worcestershire sauce provide the basis for this great tasting bbq sauce that is perfect for a dip, basting chicken thighs or vegetable kebabs before a bbq.

spray a pan with fry light and saute the onion and chilli powder over a low heat for 5 minutes until softened.

stir in the remaining ingrredients, bring to the boil and simmer for 10 minutes untill thickened. check the seasoning before serving hot or cold.

syn free on both days ready in 20 minutes serves 4 and freezer friendly.[/FONT]

Hello Spanx,what a fanatastic intro,I did not laugh and cry in the same time for a long time now, please accept me to the 'poking fun at yourself' club! I will pop in time to time to see how you doing if you don't mind
Good luck with journey and happy weight loss

Hi Kasia, thanks for your message and a very warm welcome to the 'poking fun at yourself' club!

So, Marvin found me today - I couldn't stop eating - eek! I think it might have been because I didn't eat enough yesterday, as I woke up starving and my tummy rumbled all day! Still, I stuck to the plan, so hopefully not too bad.

Just had a very lazy tea and decided to try the Asda Chick Pea Dahl - not bad for something out of a tin and very filling!

The best thing I've discovered since restarting SW is that Alpen lights are a HE - not only that, but you can have 2!!! That's my breakfast and mid-afternoon snack sorted for work days then - summer fruits in the morning and chocolate and orange in the afternoon.

A weekend of temptation lies ahead - buffet lunch at work tomorrow, England match tomorrow night (can already hear the beer and pizza beckoning!) and a BBQ on Sunday. I need to get rid of Marvin before then - he's going cheap, any offers?!

Nightmare buffet at work today - choice of sandwiches (egg mayo, cheese, tuna mayo), sausage rolls, mini quiches, battered king prawns, orange juice and crisps! I was starving too. Grrrr!

Managed to avoid: white bread, sausage rolls, mini quiche, battered prawns, OJ.

Ate 2 egg sandwiches (quarters), 2 tuna, 2 cheese - all on brown and couldn't resist some crisps (they were kettle crisps - how can anyone resist?!)

Reckon if I take 2 slices of bread as 2HEB, cheese as one HEA then I need to syn (all estimates):
Mayo (in tuna and egg sarnies) - 6 syns
Tuna - 3 syns
Crisps - 5 syns
Bread - 6 syns

That's 20 syns for a buffet lunch I didn't even enjoy! Double grrrr! WI tomorrow too - feel like I've fallen at the last hurdle...