Gail's diary and thoughts on her SW journey

Hi everyone,

I thought I'd start a thread on here for me to write down how I feel about what I'm doing. I am part way through my SW journey (and feeling great about it). I keep meaning to write down how I feel about things so that I can look back if I'm ever finding things difficult or 'falling off the wagon' so that I can help get back on. So I thought I might as well put it here. If I can help someone else, then that's great and if only I read this, that's also fine !!!

Anyway, just to put this into context. I haven't lost weight or tried dieting for several years and had gradually been putting weight on over the years (probably on average 1 stone per year - eek). I started doing this in Aug this year. I hadn't planned to (but I think I had been vaguely thinking about it for a while) but was inspired by 4 friends who've all been very successful (losing anything from 1 stone to 6 + stone). So I started and haven't looked back.

I started at 17 stone 9 lbs and am currently 14 stone 4 lbs. I am thrilled at my progress and have dropped 3 dress sizes.

So welcome to my thread if you read this and apologies for any drivel that I post !

Gail x

I have always known 'how to' eat healthily, I just didn't want to. If I was really hungry, I would rather eat nothing and wait for something that I wanted than eat healthy stuff (salad, veg, fruit). I just didn't feel satisfied with that. Even a meal mixed with salad and stuff that I like wouldn't excite me. However I can't believe how differently I feel. I am happy to eat salad/veg/fruit and I don't ever worry about being hungry because there's always things that I can eat in quantity that make me feel full but without the guilt (eg home made spaghetti bolognaise etc etc).

The psychology of SW definitely helps me. I never used to 'worry' about food but I think without realising it, I did. Now I know that I will never not be allowed to eat something that I like because I've run out of points etc, I can just choose not to. (obviously I may run out of syns but there is plenty of free food that I like). Mostly I don't feel deprived by not having unhealthy food (occasionally I do.......:drool but in general I know that if I really want it I can have it.

However, I never ever turn down food without a conscious decision and would happily eat ridiculous amounts without the filters that SW has helped me develop. I know that although I love what I'm doing and how it makes me feel, I am still (and maybe always will be) only half a step away from how I used to eat. Hence the weight loss diary.

Anyway, enough for now. Thanks for reading (if you have !)

Gail x

I know that although I love what I'm doing and how it makes me feel, I am still (and maybe always will be) only half a step away from how I used to eat. Hence the weight loss diary.

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We started SW at the same time. Do you not feel it becoming second nature yet? You are quite sociable and eat out though (unlike me) so that must be harder.

If you cross into the next hundred at the same time as Honey, we will have a huge party on the Sunday thread. I will bring my dancing bunnies! Wooo!

Hi Sausage and Val,

It's not that this isn't second nature for me now because it is, it's just that in order to eat like this I have to consciously make the effort. If I didn't care so much about this I would just eat c*** like I did before I started. That's really what I want to eat most of the time but I don't want to because I am determine to do this.

This week has been hard because there were so many things that I would have eaten given the choice and to have only eaten a small proportion of that, is fantastic. A result for me. I think what I'm trying to say is that I love what I'm doing and how it makes me feel but it wouldn't take much for me to slide back to how I used to eat and then I could (??) find it difficult to get back to where I am. I have no intention of doing that, it's just that without the strict controls that I try to set for myself I could go back there. I don't know whether I'm explaining myself properly there ???! Sorry, I'm not that good with words !

Anyway, I'm feeling good. I'm optimistic that I will get below the 200 mark this Sunday (partly because I'm already there on the scales !! and partly because I know that I'm committed to this). I am in this for the long haul and I hope that in a few months time (? even a year) I will get to whatever I decide as my target (for the first time ever in my life) and then start the battle to stay there !

Thanks for your support both of you.

Gail x

This is great to read, very inspiring x

Thanks dancing queen. Now I'm obviously feeling very chuffed with myself because I've added 6 stickers to my signature. Maybe it's a bit OTT having every half stone but for now I like it !!!

Gail x

hi gail u are so much like me when it comes to food, because i have been in control this week i feel so much better but i also know i could have a slip and that could be it for days, weeks or even months i am dreading managing food at christmas my son has invited me round xmas eve for dinner he's making toad in the hole so am going to try and eat lightly through the day to allow for it then he said he was making a trifle (one of my fav puds eeek) told him not to make me any. then with the tins of sweets sitting around it's going to be hard.
you have done sooooooo well so far and you seem full of determination, just keep remembering how good it's making you feel
and good luck on ur weigh in :kissass2: xx

A few of the things that have changed since I've started losing weight:

1. My ring is starting to feel loose. Not yet enough to put it on a different finger but definitely looser.
2. My feet have shrunk. I wore a pair of heels that I've had for ages but couldn't wear because they were too tight but I wore them the other night and they were ok
3. I have dropped 3 sizes in the bottom (and heading for 4) from size 24 to size 18 (M+S sizes) and probably just over 2 in the top (from size 24 (-26 if I'm honest) to size 20, heading for 18).
4. I don't care what size clothes I buy. It used to be a bit of a big deal but now I'm really not fussed - anything less than 24 is a bonus so I am wearing some things that are still a size 22 and some stuff that is 16-18 on the label. It's great !
5. I am far less worried about bumping into people that I haven't seen for ages and them thinking 'gosh, hasn't she put on weight'. In fact soon, I would not have any issues about going to a reunion (if there was one to go to).
6. I won't worry about fitting on fairground/theme park rides when I next go to one
7. I am not worried about going to the theatre/cinema and not fitting in the seats because I know I will
8. I think I will be able to comfortably put the table down when I'm on a plane and be able to eat from it. I think I still have some progress to make on this one but it will be much better and I'm no longer worried that it won't go down (which I wasn't far off before)

Just some more of my thoughts !!!

Having a fairly good week and hoping that I can stay under 200lbs for my official WI on Sunday

Gail x

gl12282 said:

Thanks dancing queen. Now I'm obviously feeling very chuffed with myself because I've added 6 stickers to my signature. Maybe it's a bit OTT having every half stone but for now I like it !!!

Gail x

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Not at all!! I'll be doing them when I make them on SW.

Your thoughts make interesting reading again, I can relate to some of them too. We must all keep up the good work!!

Well, I'm having my first slightly difficult day in a long time. I have the 'munchies' ! It started earlier at work when the mince pies in the corner of the room were calling to me. I managed to resist but had a few chocolates instead (at least it wasn't as well as !). Then had 2 mince pies (yes, 2 !) at a concert earlier and now have eaten quite a lot of twiglets (yum!). Have also had 4 alpen lights during the day (but ok as I did green today so were my HexB's). Anyway, it's nearly time for bed (which is definitely a good thing) so must put the twiglets away, draw a line under today and move on.

Every cloud has a silver lining (or several linings !)

1. Munchies were infinitely more controllable than 6 months ago
2. Munchies infinitely less frequent than 6 months ago
3. Munchies were much less damaging than 6 months ago

Anyway, definitely back on plan tomorrow.

As a reflective comment, I didn't have a proper meal tonight (I had a meal but it wasn't anywhere near my usual quality) which although I had the munchies a while before that, maybe if I had it would have helped stem the impact. So will probably try that next time.

Hope everyone else has had a reasonable day.

Gail x

Update:

I don't think the munchies went away. They have stayed with me.......

Haven't had a great xmas (food wise - the day itself was lovely because I was with my family). The food was delicious but I just kept eating and eating. Virtually no self control - I didn't want to 'deprive' myself but it would have been nice for me to stop eating when I was pretty full. Once I'm back on plan, I probably need to sit down and reflect about how I realistically could have made things better so that I can do that next year. I'm not necessarily talking about sticking to plan on xmas day, more about being in control of whatever I decide. From the time I started this, I have had days 'off plan'/flexi days but they have been fine when it's been planned - whereas yesterday wasn't and wasn't in control. Weigh in tomorrow and I deserve to pay the price :sigh:

Anyway, now what counts (because the eating bit of xmas is now over) is how I deal with it. Today has been ok. Tomorrow I am going to try and be 100% on plan. I have seen a few people that I know on here have a run of bad days and then get back in control (eg Val, Why_d etc) so I must try. Looking forward to a continued challenge for 2011.

Hope everyone has had a lovely xmas.

Gail x

Hi Gail

Thought I would pop by and say thanyou for your support on my diary and my other thread :thankyou:..
I find it fascinating just how often I read what others have written and think "hmm I could have written that" -Im very similar to you (and valerie) ...in that I always think Im walking that very fine line between eating the SW way and just losing control and going face down in a family sized pork pie :giggle:thats why Im perhaps a little obsessive with my meal planning etc.. I really take my hat off to anyone who can have a day off plan or even a couple of days and then just get back to it -like Val I would be worried that my day would turn into weeks/months (heck have I been there many times before on ww ).
Im glad you have started a diary, I find it really helps -sometimes when I look back at what I wrote ages ago, I can't even remeber doing it -but its really useful to see how things change...
I have to say that what you wrote about getting the munchies and not eating a proper meal as you would do normally -definitely made sense to me... I really think that because I have proper meals planned every week Im less prone to getting that "hmmm I fancy something nice" head on me....
anyway -I will stop waffling on your diary..
Hope the rest of the festive period is a good one and I will no doubt pop back again :sign0151:

Thanks very much Capricorn,

I agree with you about the planning aspect. I spend my life planning and planning what I'm going to eat (and buy in my shopping) although I often don't decide exactly what I'm going to eat until the actual day, I have a rough idea (so that I have some flexibility if I get home a bit later and don't have time to cook what I'd planned etc etc) but I wonder whether I should do even more and literally know exactly what I'm going to eat for each meal that week when I order my shopping ??

I think maybe I phrased it wrong when I said that I had days off plan/flexi days. In fact I haven't planned any days off plan, only occasional meals off plan and the rest of the day/week completely on plan. This means that when I go out for meals, I either decide to stick to plan (which I mostly do) or if it's somewhere really nice and special, I plan that I will have what I want for that meal (including pudding often) but then make sure that the rest of the day is on plan. I don't drink much either which helps. This means that I can have meals out when I feel in control (because I've decided whether I'm sticking to SW or not) and not feel guilty but get straight back to the job in hand. It has worked for me so far. However the problem with christmas was that I thought I could completely stick to SW (because I have been so focused until this week), had a bad day or two just before (probably because of the meal thing) which just threw my whole 'psychi' off and then I totally fell off my perch on xmas day ! So maybe next year, plan a flexi day so that hopefully I'm still in control and also make sure that I'm really careful the week running up to xmas that I have proper meals.

Anyway, thanks for your support. Your diary makes such interesting reading that I have no doubt I will be back there regularly (and I'm still planning to read the 'back issues' in time !).

Gail x

Just having a nosey Gail, and a bit of male input

My ring no longer fits any finger - symbolic - I'm free lol. Clothes sizes are funny though!

I obviously am aware of but not sure of women's sizes, but I went from XL to medium and sort of bypassed large!

XL was necessary not for my large frame, but my large belly. I've become obsessed with buying stuff with a "M" sticker - just because I can!!!!

Anyway, all the best with your journey, and good luck with all your stickers - why not show 'em off?

Go girlie lol

Steve

Maximus said:

Just having a nosey Gail, and a bit of male input

My ring no longer fits any finger - symbolic - I'm free lol. Clothes sizes are funny though!

I obviously am aware of but not sure of women's sizes, but I went from XL to medium and sort of bypassed large!

XL was necessary not for my large frame, but my large belly. I've become obsessed with buying stuff with a "M" sticker - just because I can!!!!

Anyway, all the best with your journey, and good luck with all your stickers - why not show 'em off?

Go girlie lol

Steve

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ha ha ha !!

Thanks Steve, nosey away. I was looking at one of your threads earlier (half the man I used to be or something like that) so it was funny to find you'd been here ! Congrats on the size M though - do you think you'll get to be/should be a Small eventually ?? (obviously that may not be appropriate for you depending on your 'underlying size' !)

I am going shopping tomorrow - hopefully for some size 16 trousers. I am under no illusions that I will be in a size 16 in all shops but in my M+S trousers that are an 18, they are getting a bit big. I don't have any other work trousers that fit at the moment. I only bought the size 20 trousers mid Oct so I've almost skipped a size too. I actually don't care what size I wear because anything is better than the size 24 that I started in and I know that if I keep my focus, I will continue to drop in size.

Today has been much better. I feel back on track and focused again but it still worries me despite how long I've been doing this that I feel like I could fall off the perch in a flash and struggle to get back on. Hmmm. Wonder if that will ever go away ??

Hope you're all having a good week.

Gail x

Just proves we're all frustrated "stalkers" on here Gail lol.

As for small sizes. I don't know really. I might end up with kiddie sizes lol. I can't remember having small sizes to be honest. Probably back to pre-teen years when my mum would buy clothes.

Gosh that's a lifetime ago!

Steve

Just a quick update.

I went shopping today - big mistake ! It was a nightmare.

I was hoping to get some new clothes but when I went to M + S their changing rooms were closed so I couldn't try anything on. It was so busy that I couldn't face going to other places to try stuff on that might not fit me. So I picked up some clothes and came home to try on.

Good news - I can get into the size 16 trousers. Not so good news, I can't go out in them in public (yet) !! However, I don't think I'm that far off and I think it's better to stick with what I have and have something to slim into than buy the 18's and only get a few weeks wear out of them. It's only mid Oct when I bought a size 20 and was happy to get into them (and less than 5 months since I was a size 24-26 on the top and 22-24 on the bottom) so I'm quite pleased really . I'm still probably a size 18(-20) in the top which is fine because it's going down.

And the top I wore out to go shopping in was a 16. I am SO pleased because that's the first time I've worn a 16 in years and years. I know that I've still got a way to go before I can walk into any shop and buy a 16 but it's a start.

So, I think the lesson from today is that until I have lost a couple more stone I won't be doing a big shopping trip. I don't want the disappointment of going to places and not really being able to try lots of stuff on. That's fine because it will make it all the better when I get there !

Made a fish pie today for the first time too. Was quite tasty and I was pretty pleased with myself for the efforts ! The 'white sauce' wasn't much of a sauce - more of an egg binding but actually it tasted lovely so that's fine. Must still learn to put less on my plate - I can always come back for more if I'm still hungry. But I'm not very good at leaving what's on my plate so I'm still feeling pretty full 4 hrs after my meal !

Gail x

Hi Gail!

Your journey sounds pretty similar to mine - similar height and starting weight and starting and current clothes sizes! Isn't it brilliant to be able to go into 'normal' shops and buy clothes not from the 'plus' range?!

I can relate to what you were saying about being only a step away from your old habits. I quite often read the SW magazine stories and so many of the success stories in there have quotes in about disliking fatty food, or tastes having changed completely so that they prefer fruit and veg - not me! I could quite happily pig out on some greasy fish and chips, or a yummy cheesecake! That doesn't mean I'm not enjoying SW, or that I find it difficult to stick to (most of the time!), just that I know it's always going to be easy to fall off the wagon!

Well done on your journey so far and here's to a slim 2011!

Hi Spanx,

Thanks. I will go and have a look at your diary too. Keep meaning to. Yes, we are v similar. I completely agree with your thoughts about food. I enjoy what I eat (and still can't quite believe that I choose to eat stuff that a few months ago I would have turned my nose up at) but I'm not sure that I will ever change into someone who wouldn't choose to eat the fatty foods, cheesecake etc etc etc that got me here in the first place if I had the choice. I guess that's what worries me about the long term (if I ever get to maintenance) that I could so easily 'fall off the wagon' and if I do, I know I will eventually end up back where I started + a few extra stones for good measure. So I see this as my plan for life, I really enjoy it but will continue to worry about what the future holds for me........

Thanks for reading. I'm off to see your thread now !

Gail x