First day to the rest of my life

Well this isn't my first diary but I'm hoping my last.

ive been an on/off sw member for a few years ago and first time roun i lost 1st 4lbs and felt great.
Regretably I made the mistake of stopping group and put it all back on. I've been back a few times and lost a few pound here and there but never really stuck around. I started again in February and unfortunately couldn't afford group but managed to stick with it an do it with two colleagues.

A few weeks I suffered an asthma attack and have struggled to recover. I was put on steroids and ended up being off work. I stared comfort eating and I'm now really down in the dumps.

im at my heaviest now and I feel drained partly from the asthma attack and partly from weight. I've tried joining gyms and I've even had personal plans from fitness trainers and I never seem to lose weight and just end up feeling demotivated. I could just cry every time I look in the mirror I feel so ashamed. My skin is getting greasy and having outbreaks, I feel bloated and sluggish and I'm always tired. My meals are not too bad but its the temptation to snack which I struggle with.

I need to sort myself out and will be restarting my food diary. I will get there and would like to lose a stone by July as I'm off to Thailand. I went on a cruise last December and the pictures of me were hideous so I plan on putting that right.

Tonight it's spaghetti carbonara with chicken, mushrooms, bacon and peas.

The carbonara was lovely and totally free yum yum

its hard being so ill and off work I just tried to walk down the road as the sun is out but I really struggled. I made it to the spar to pick up a few bits I don't normally go in there and I realised they don't sell much free food yikes. Came home with some grapes, tinned spaghetti and some muller light Greek yoghurts.

Just had 2 poached eggs and 4 slices of lean bacon for breakfast.

Good Luck with everything Are you doing red/green or extra easy?

I'm doing extra easy but I will probably throw in the occassional red or green day just to mix it up a bit

Hello and good luck getting that stone off - I've been stuck around the same weight as you for a while and know how hard it is, but your holiday will be great motivation. Looks like you're picking lots of good food choices so far x

Not been great the last few days as struggling to recover but I'm getting there. I've just made some chilli and going to portion it out and freeze it. Just done a big bowl of Mediterranean roast veg which again I can freeze and got some lovely strawberries from the farm shop

Today has been ok

i had lean bacon and 2 fried eggs for breakfast with 3 half syn sausages.

I was at hospital at lunch and really struggled I ended up having the meat from inside a pork pie and a bag of walkers crisps which were 9 syns. I had cheese as my hea and a handful of grapes as a snack.

For tea I had a pork chop, jacket potato and asparagus followed by strawberries and a tiny squirt of light whipped cream.

Struggled to syn count really due to lunch but could have been a whole lot worse. My OH neary bought me panini and chips yikes. So not bad all in all.

Breakfast today is a few slices of gorgeous thick bacon from the farm shop with the fat cut off and fried eggs with 2 half syn sausages with mushrooms. Today is going to be a 100% day properly syn counting no excuses. I can do this.

Not sure what to have for lunch yet it's either chilli or cous cous. Got some lovely lamb grills that I made a few days ago (lamb mince lean with mint) but not sure what to have with it yet.

Yikes had a subway for lunch but went for the turkey and ham on the grain bread as lower calories. 280 calories.
Just had a handful of frozen grapes an just popped a Turkish delight muller light in the freezer.

Ended up taking the yoghurt out of the freezer and just eating as it was not frozen. Just had a lean lamb and mint grill made by moi 0 syns. Had a jacket potato with it and some roasted veg (onions, tomatoes, shallots and courgette). Going to have strawberries and a squirt of light cream.

So today has been good. I skipped breakfast as I over slept but had cous cous for lunch with cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, rocket and a hard boiled egg. Had grapes to snack on and a lemon Greek muller light 0.5syns.

Tea was 2 asda cod fillets in sweet chilli sauce 1 syn with cous cous and mixed roast veg (shallots, new potatoes, courgettes, tomatoes). Strawberries for desert with 2 tablespoons of single cream 3 syns and half a malteaser bunny (probably not even half but I will count it as such) 4 syns.

total 8.5 syns all day yum yum

Oh no heb today as didn't feel like it and hea I use as,ilk for tea but only had 2 cups of tea so didn't get anywhere near my allowance

Today I've done ok

breakfast was 2x alpen light bars as my heb
lunch was free chilli and grapes aafterwards

tea was 2 x sausages (1syns) 2 x fried egg and 3 slices of lean bacon and a flake from a multipack later which I will syn but I've not gone over 15 I may have some strawberries too