Licking the Lid of Life....my esoteric diary

Right, so I'm writing a diary. A veritable Anne Frank, or maybe Bridget Jones seeing as I am not 16, not living in occupied Amsterdam holed up behind a wall and although I don't drink or smoke I share more of Bridget's neurosis than I care to admit in full!
Anyhoo I tend to write in a slightly stream of consciousness style so bear with me...I generally find a point, somewhere along the line.

Ok about me....yes I stole my screen name from a muller advert circa 2008. But I do. Lick the lids that is. And plates and spoons and bowls and anything else to ensure I get the full benefit of my dinner. I have stopped short of licking my fridge. There is time...

I'm 31, married to an unreasonably attractive man (punching well above my not inconsiderable weight), one child; a three year old daughter. Three dogs, two fish and numerous woodlice lately for some reason (I swear they all shelter from the rain in my house) Oh and I'm a teacher. I teach Law both at GCSE and A Level

I have done literally every diet you can mention. Except meal replacement, yuck. Actually that's not true. I tried slim fast for a day. Then went to the chippie. Ha. I joined slimming world in may, had a blip in week 2, well I say blip, had an STS for no good reason and caved in until August when I started again, properly this time. Whilst this was all going on I dealt with binge eating disorder, after reading an article on its growing awareness (awareness of IT I should say rather than its awareness, strictly speaking eating disorders are not sentient beings) I had three sessions of intense hypnotherapy and have managed to overcome it, to the same extent that an alcoholic does - you are always in recovery and its best that I don't even have a little 'bit' of something for fear of it turning into a week long orgy of minstrels, pizza and Haagen Dazs....and that's SOME orgy.

That's one of the reason for starting this. Keeping checks on myself, hoping that maybe, if necessary, an intervention can be staged.

So that's me. Let the diarising commence....

Saturday 2nd Nov

Exercise

Hmm ok. So I've been doing OK with this. I invested in a wii and got Zumba. I also got we sing 80s but that's another issue. So 3/4 nights a week I have Zumba'd (is that a noun or an adjective?) and have even been for a couple of runs and attempted some crunches (nooo that's CRUNCHES...no sexy little gold wrapped honey comb for this temple). But this week I have been struggling to make myself do it. I always swore I wouldn't make it a chore because down that route resentment lies and I am so bloody minded that the first time I feel I HAVE to do it, I won't. I am the model of cutting off your nose to spite your face. In fact I wonder whether cutting off my nose may help on WI day.... A consideration maybe.

So trying to be easy on myself but the guilt creeps in. I have had a bath now and got my Jim jams on so am even less inclined to go and get sweaty. Maybe I'll do some sit ups for tonight and cross my heart will do some Zumba tomorrow. I'd say I'd go for a run but have you HEARD that wind? Although to be fair if I got it behind me I could probably double my distance covered, particularly if I wear a loose top.......

Sunday 3rd Nov

breakfast

I tend to follow a pattern. Mahoosive bowl of fruit topped with the most applicable flavour of shape yoghurt. Today I have 1 chopped apple, 2 satsumas, handful each of green and black grapes and some fresh pineapple topped with a mango yoghurt. It's very nice but looks so big. I know that fruit shouldn't stall you but blimey.

Its funny how I view certain categories of food to be specific to certain meals. Fruit and yoghurt=breakfast. Eggs and ham and things like scan bran = lunch and lean meats and carbs = dinner. If I mixed it up it would mess with my far-to-set-in-my-ways brain. I don't even snack on yoghurts. I am too scared of "Salter" God of the Scales to have anything other than fruit or carrot sticks!!

Monday 4th November

I feel it in my fingers...

Water that is. I got on the scales this morning to check progress. Weigh day isn't until thurs. I know I know serial weighing isn't good but I'll never stop me. 1lb up but I know its water because they feel swollen when I knit my hands together. Bloody biological make up. I don't even have proper star weeks due to my implant but the week before I would have had one I still get all the side effects or water retention and bad skin. Grrrr. Oh well at least I know why and hopefully the following week will show the opposite to be true.

In the mean time lots of green and mint tea!!!

4th Nov

late lunch


so now I don't want dinner. I hope this is ok!!? Just not hungry at all.

I'm subbing, I enjoy your sense of humour

Subscribing good luck sounds like you're doing well so far

Hi Sam,

I too like your sense of humour. You're doing very well with this weight-loss lark!

November 6th

the gym

So, who is this Jim I ask myself, that my husband visits so frequently??! Alas it is nothing as interesting as a rough and ready male lover but in fact my own ineptitude in spelling.

Today I went to the gym....yeah...got you!! I went with two friends and our three kids all of whom are under three. Our local gym runs tumble time sessions and so I spent a pleasant three hours eating carrot sticks, scan bran and laughing cow washed down with a diet coke (yes really!) whilst aforementioned kiddiewinkies bounced themselves sick on the bouncy castle after consuming copious number of dinosaur biscuits. Those damn little temptresses with their sexy purple wrappers (the biscuits THE BISCUITS!)

If you looked up you could see people on cross trainers on the first floor gym over looking the hall. I'm fairly sure watching them for 5 mins solid, apart from making them uncomfortable with the staring and forcing them to move to a less visible piece of equipment, meant I burnt some calories vicariously if nothing else.

Oh oh and I also did some roly polys on the crash mat. Bonus.....

Wed 6th Nov

correction

All under 4! Read that and realised I forgot my daughter was actually over three. Bad mother?? Moi??!

Wed 6th Nov

Cross Trainers

Are they the enemy of Happy Feet?

Thurs 7th Nov

STS

Weigh in this morning showed a maintain. i like that better than "stayed the same". No great surprise with the water I'm holding and all the green and mint tea in china (or Sainsburys) hasn't shifted it in time for today. I'm being philosophical about it and viewing it as a positive thing because A it's better than a gain and B it means my body has settled at this weight this week and that's more than 2 stone lighter than when I started so really I can't be disappointed with those numbers!!

does anyone else ever weigh themselves fully clothed (not including meeting goers here as such simply because I am fairly sure clothes are a requirement in a group setting?) in the evening and delighted that the number is STILL less than what you weighed only a few short weeks ago? I did that last night, jeans, jumper, belt, everything. Normally I weigh in in the buff so whilst it was obviously more I was still chuffed that about a month ago I would have weighed that nek-ed.

So here I am post weigh in and waiting for Asda to deliver my breakfast...along with the rest of my shopping obviously. They are yet to start a breakfast club. Actually I have been boycotting Asda for a few months, tempted back by some apology vouchers for a one off foray....that however is a separate gripe.

Thurs 6th Nov

Breakfast - a departure

I have decided to mix it up and have my HEXB for breakfast. As I am on a scan bran challenge week (enter the poo fairy) I have just heard the ping of my carrot cake finishing. Yes, cake, for breakfast. Who'd have thunk it?

Hiya! Just wanted to pop in and say hi!

Your posts have made me laugh so much and I'd really love to follow you on this journey.

Have a fab weekend!

Saturday 9th Nov

I love my daughter, never more than when she is unconscious but still breathing.


Kids. Phew. Ok ok kid singular. Everyone asks when are you having a second? The short answer is never. The long answer is neeeeevvvveeeerrrr. I'm not very naturally maternal, there I admitted it. It doesn't make me a bad mum, I do all the things everyone else does, days out, singing, colouring in, jumping around at soft play, love and cuddles but I do like it when she is asleep and I can gather my thoughts. Those thoughts don't even have to be particularly grown up or important. They may be as simple as the unnecessary depth of thought I give to alternative ways to eat grapes or research into a different variety of green tea but my goodness I like to do it uninterrupted

I don't feel the need to have a second child. I have a bright sparky beautiful little munchkin who is so like me already at three (not always a good thing) that I feel our family is complete. If she wants a brother or sister at a later date....well I'll be taking her to pets at home for a hamster.

But, please, for the love of god just let me EAT MY BREAKFAST!!!!

Subscribing.
You write very well and are so funny xx

Saturday 9th Nov

It's funny because it's true

^^^this^^^

I appreciate the subbing

Can totally relate

Saturday 9th Nov

The Fibre!!!



'Nuff said. Feckin Scan Bran