Journey to be a Skinny Bride..

Hello everyone (assuming anyone reads this),

I have been looking at this forum for the last few years while on various different diets and finally feel like I should post something. To give myself an outlet and hopefully for some support when it is rough.

I have been on diets as long I can remember, I always felt like the biggest at school and began restricting myself there and then at the first year of college I got down to my lowest ever weight. From then its always been a bit of a struggle. Gaining a bit losing a bit gaining a bit more. Until this year after many different diets I found myself at over 14 stone and trying to put on a pair of size 16 trousers for my new job and failing miserably something broke inside and I knew I had to make a change.

This time I have a huge reason on the horizon to spur me on. In November I am getting married to the best person I have ever met and I owe him the chance to have that day without hiding away or complaining or descending into panic. And more than that I owe it to me.

This time its not just a vanity project, I need things to change on the inside too. I want to have better eating habits and a better relationship with food. I want to get out of the binge starve cycle and the crippling self loathing that makes everything in life so difficult.

2.5 years ago I went on lighter life and in 4 months I got down to 10 stone 3 lbs and it was honestly the happiest I have ever been. I want that feeling back of waking up and not having to find specific clothes that I need to wear but can put on anything and feel good in it. But more than that I want the feeling that I achieved it. Sadly the weight loss from Lighter life was to short lived and although I have tried to go back a few times its just never worked the same again for me.

So its onto slimming world, the weight losses maybe slower and that is something I need to get my head round but I feel so much better already.

I started on new years day and have been sticking to it ever since.

Had a couple of difficult days due to awful cramps from TOTM so hoping I can push past it and not give up like I would usually do. I have lost 8.5 lbs so far and am hoping to lose about a stone by mid feb as I am heading to a wedding fayre with my mum to try on a wedding dress for the first time. Have been too scared to up to now but, despite not being anywhere near my goal I feel like it might spur me on.

Well that was more than I expected to write, well done if you got through that!

So yesterday was an ok day I suppose, I've been trying really hard to stick to it religiously and it has been paying off but the last couple of days were a bit wobbly.

Firstly as my boss has decided that we are not aloud hot food in the office anymore, which would be fine but the only area in the building that leaves for me to eat my hot food is the roof, and yesterday it was bucketing down.

With not a lot of places close by where I could make good choices I picked what I wanted.. sushi. stuck to tuna, salmon and cucumber with green beans so hoping the damage won't be too high.

Made enchilades last night, I adapted a reciepe to be more slimming world friendly, sadly no sour cream but its was really filling. Sometimes it really doesn't feel like I'm on a diet! Massively helped by the fact that I can cook the same meal for me and the OH, though he has a much larger portion than me.

I have been trying to get moving a bit quicker this time as I have a honeymoon looming I want to be not just slim but if possible more toned. So I have given up the tube a few days a week and walking from Waterloo to my office, which is about 25mins. This morning was the first morning I did it where I didn't feel like my lungs were going to give out on the way.. very happy with that.

I want to get an exercise DVD, I'm not that great with gyms as I'm pretty self conscious so if anyone has any suggestions of ones that have worked for them that would be great!

Hi Caleb66 well done on your losses so far sounds like you are in the zone nothing like a wedding to spur you on.Are you going to group or doing sw from home? Im doing it from home with help from this forum x

Hi tamkat, thanks for reading my ramblings.

Doing it from home, using Slimming World online. Have been to group a few times but from home seems to work, as well as support from on here!

Your weight losses are great!!

Thankyou its taken me a while to get the right mindset after losing weight so many times & putting it back on but Im feeling positive.I managed to get down to 11.7lb for my wedding in 2007 it felt unbelievable goodluck you will do it x

Wow that's encouraging, just really want to not have to think about my weight on the day!

Subscribing wishing you lots of luck you will do it and for the perfect wedding day you want will inspire you even more look forward to keeping up with your diary I got married in April best day ever ;-) X

Thanks Katies World, very encouraging to have the wedding at the end of the tunnel.

Had a pretty good day yesterday and am now 2 days from finishing week 4, which is the longest I have stuck at any diet for well over a year.

Trying my best to keep the food varied at the moment so I don't get bored. Find the Slimming World books are a god send with this and last night made the Salt and Black Pepper Fish Fingers from the Family Feast book. It was delicious and for the first time this week felt like I was not on a diet.

Took the plunge and ordered a fitness DVD the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred, actually pretty nervous as the reviews said it was pretty full on and I am by no means fit but while in my own house no ones watching so it doesn't matter if I look like an over inflated balloon. Plus its only 20 mins a day an even I should manage to work that in.

Got an invite in the post today for OH best mates wedding, its going to be at the start of May so have another event in mind to work towards!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.. having a quite one myself but making the Maryland Chicken from the most recent mag later and I'm very excited about that Slimming World makes me a bit crazy like that!

WI today and have lost another 1.5lbs.. total weight loss now 10lbs. Super happy with this. The weight loss is slower than i'm used to on meal replacements and that is taking some getting used too but trying to keep going. Starting to see a bit of a difference on my tummy and unfortunately my boobs I would be much happier if I could find away of routing the next 10lbs purely from my bum!

The best thing is as of this morning I am no longer OBESE, just really really overweight .

Sunday night was really tough. Weekend's have been ok so far but this week was the first time I've had that horrible feeling were you just want to eat everything and nothing will satisfy you.. sometimes an apple really isn't going to cut it. Especially when there is a cadbury's wispa in the fridge!.

Anyway managed (just!) to get through but did max out my syns.

In an attempt to push my weight loss this week I'm going to get started on the body magic. Hopefully this will get some of the fat moving. Normally I would go straight to doing the silver or gold and try and (literally) run before I can walk. But this time I am going to remember that I am overweight and start slow with the bronze.

This week is going pretty well so far, for the last few weeks I have had meeting up with friends once or twice a week for dinner.. funny how everyone gets back in touch in Jan?! and so have been having to flexi syn which made the end of last week difficult.

This week I only have 1 meet up, tonight, but its only for drinks and so thinking that I am going to go for a virgin cocktail for the first time in my life. I decided to give up Mr Booze for 90 days to see if it would help with my weightloss.. or more my sabotaging of my weight loss. If I drink I loose the little willpower I have left and as I seem to have no natural stopping point the results can be pretty ugly.

It's really not been as bad as I expected, that is not to say I don't miss it, coming into to a glass of red wine after work was one of my greatest loves but I can park it for a bit if its helping as it really is. On top of that it has had the unexpected side effect of really helping out my skin. I have had pretty bad acne since I was 17 and although I have had it under control for the last couple of years this has given my skin a brightness that it hasnt had.. well ever!

Not that I will be able to keep it up for ever but will defo be doing the same thing again before the wedding.

Plus no alcohol means I can use syns on snacks.. right now the lunchbox soreen loves are going down a treat!!

Went for drinks last night and managed to abstain from alcohol but had 2 virgin cocktails.. there was so much sugar in them that I rattled the whole way home and following that all I can think about today is food... specifically (sorry for anyone that doesn't like food talk) pizza. Even in thinking about it i'm not thinking about a little bit I'm thinking about a whole lot of pizza.

Just hope I can keep the will power long enough to cook dinner tonight then hopefully will have forgotten about it.

Think its because i'm having a grumpy day today, one of those days when you wake up in a bad mood and just don't shake it off. Not helped by wanted to leave work but also not wanting to leave as its pouring down.

Team lunch at work today for my boss's birthday, was so good at the restaurant, turned down wine and a fatty main just had a salad and sparkling water. Unfortunately I could not resist the huge chocolate birthday cake that we brought him so had a slice of that. It was amazing and I am trying not to be too down on myself but just want to have a perfect week at some point. Have had so many social situations recently that I am always having to flexi syn.

I suppose though its a life thing.. you never have an challenging week and maybe this means I will eventually by able to maintain more effectively?? Not sure however I now know that body magic needs to be started today.. the next size down in trousers arrived and all though they fit they are definitely snug, think another 5-7lbs and they will be fine.

OH is out tonight so can leisurely clear up and do some wii fit without being conscious of looking like an under strain space hopper!

Did actually make the Thai Green Curry last night and am going to have it again tonight.. saves cooking from scratch and curries are always nicer the second day once they had chance to marinate.

Coming to the end of my fifth week on SW and honestly can't believe that I have made it this far! It's not been completely smooth sailing I've been flexi synning like a mad thing but as yet I have not fallen off plan. Really getting into cooking from scratch again and (apart from a couple of disasters) have enjoyed everything.

Also 1 month into to my 90 days without alcohol. So my skin is a lot better, it will never be perfect and I think I am beginning to come to terms with that. It is however doing my confidence a whole world of good to start going out at the weekend without a trowel full of make up on my face. Don't think I could quite manage coming into work without the slap yet but I might try putting it on when I get in rather than when I get up.

The only thing I really need to crack is the exercise. Despite real efforts on the diet I do feel tired a lot of the time which just makes it really difficult to get up the enthusiasm to exercise. I know starting would give me more energy.. I just need to start!

Not long till weigh in praying for another 1.5lb at least, which would take me to 13.7. I think once I was in the bottom half of the stone getting down into the 12's would just feel so much more of a realistic prospect.

WI this morning and have lost another 1.5lb, was pretty pleased as although I am calling it 1.5 it is sitting just under the next pound so my official weight is 13 6.8. there is something very uplifting about being under the half way point in this stone.

However my happy feeling was slightly short lived. I have been in major wedding melt down- this weekend and suddenly felt somewhat overwhelmed at the amount of stuff I have to do. After reading a few blogs online I found most recommended getting your dress 8-12 months before the wedding. I had been hoping to leave it as long as possible but looks like the latest I can go in for fittings is the end of March. Feel incredibly apprehensive. My weekly weight losses are low but consistent but it means I will be a million miles away from my goal weight when I go for the fitting. Just worried it will be a horrible experience and I will be even more panicky about the day if I feel hideous in a dress.

Also I don't know how my body will change as I continue to loose weight (will have at least another 2.5 stone to go then) so I will be guessing what will look best and what size to order.

Anyway there is only so much I can worry about it.. trying really hard not to beat myself that I should have started sooner. All I can do now is really crack down on the diet and do as much exercise as possible to give myself a fighting chance.

Tuna steak tonight with stir fry, never had them before so will be good to have a change.

Haven't been around for a couple of days work has been crazy.. tube strikes have added to the drama as it takes ages to get anywhere.

Had a word with myself after the panic attack the other day about the wedding dress shopping. Re calculated my syns for the last 2 weeks and realised (because of nights out etc) I was averaging above 15 syns a day. Last week it was just over 16.5 per day on average. So still loosing 1.5 a week is more encouraging. It reminds me that I've always had a pretty quick metabolism I've just suppressed it with.. well mainly pizza.

So this week I am trying to stick to 5-10 syns a day and hopefully that will show a larger result on the scale at the end of the week. I am kind of desperate to get into the 12's now, just want to get out of my "incredibly fat" clothes and into just "big" clothes. I have had a bit of a boost this week as I think the weight I have lost so far has caught up with my body as I have actually started to feel thinner I don't necessarily notice it when I look in the mirror but I just feel lighter.

I really wanted to push the exercise too but it just doesn't seem to be happening. Going to really try to have a go tonight.. as I have said everyday this week!

Hello, what an amazing reason to spur you on, well done on the loss so far, Im no expert but maybe dont cut your syns too low as they say its better to do that once you get closer to target. x

xsugarfairyx said:

Hello, what an amazing reason to spur you on, well done on the loss so far, Im no expert but maybe dont cut your syns too low as they say its better to do that once you get closer to target. x

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Hi sugarfairy, thanks for the advise, only really keeping it a bit lower this week as have massively over indulged for the last 2 weeks! You had a good loss in the first week when do you weigh in? I'm doing EE at home as well. Though am thinking of maybe trying a couple of red days in the next couple of weeks.

So today something wonderful happened. I put on my work trousers and I felt them fall down - not to the floor but well onto my hips. Such a great feeling.. just need to get into the smaller pair now!

I could not be more excited about my tea tonight, beef burger and chips.. obvs the SW way. Saving my A and B till this eve so I can have a wholemeal roll and some cheese.. perfect Friday night dinner.

Having a positive day today despite having a cheeky weigh today and scales showing that i STS.. weird thing since I started this diet I don't weigh any different all week, not even a point of a pound and then it changes on weigh day. Kinda of frustrating for someone like me that is impatient to see a result always!

Caleb66 said:

Hi sugarfairy, thanks for the advise, only really keeping it a bit lower this week as have massively over indulged for the last 2 weeks! You had a good loss in the first week when do you weigh in? I'm doing EE at home as well. Though am thinking of maybe trying a couple of red days in the next couple of weeks.

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Thats fair enough hun, and thanks, I WI on mondays you? Im mostly doing extra easy but sometimes i use quorn so i make it a green day lol. x

Caleb66 said:

So today something wonderful happened. I put on my work trousers and I felt them fall down - not to the floor but well onto my hips. Such a great feeling.. just need to get into the smaller pair now!

I could not be more excited about my tea tonight, beef burger and chips.. obvs the SW way. Saving my A and B till this eve so I can have a wholemeal roll and some cheese.. perfect Friday night dinner.

Having a positive day today despite having a cheeky weigh today and scales showing that i STS.. weird thing since I started this diet I don't weigh any different all week, not even a point of a pound and then it changes on weigh day. Kinda of frustrating for someone like me that is impatient to see a result always!

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I know the feeling I am a serial weigher and mines dropped but only slightly so I am hoping it ups a bit before WI. it effects my mood tho x