my first ever diary

So then, after losing 8st many years ago, I find my self back in the starting block.

4 years after a accident which has given me chronic pain,nerve damage,neurological issues, I now spend 90% of my days Sat or in my wheelchair. Coupled with depression and struggling to use my hands arms or legs properly, I gained nearly all my lost weight back

I now have a care team who are really supportive, so much so my main carer and I have joined sw, she has only 21/2 stone to loose,my self much more.

Feel free to pop by share tips,advice or just have a good chat with me.

So I weigh Wednesday's. My first weigh last week was 2.5lb loss. I was 100% all week following EE.

Today

B- 2 bananas and a milky coffee. (Part hea)
L- roast beef, frylight roast pota, 1 small yorkie 5.5syn,carrots,cabbage,peas plus 1.5syn gravy. Pudding was almond milk rice pudding with 1tbsp of jam =4.5 syn
D- half bag baby carrots plus homemade ice cream (Muller light,quark,frozen forest fruits)
S- 2light hifi and milky coffee (part hea)

Lots syn free tea and syn free squash. Total syn 11.5

Hey! Found your diary and have now subscribed

How are you getting on today?xx

Just thought I'd say hello

Well done on your first weeks loss!xx

Cheers guys!

Had a busy day with my carer including dog training classes for my pup. Eating wise I've felt like I couldn't face much,10 days constipation to blame!!!


So today .....

B- 1/2 hea milky coffee. Muller light and some frozen forest fruits left in fridge overnight with bit of quark
L- a platter of fruit from asda for £2.50 with melon. Apple. Kiwi. Grapes. Blueberry. And a small banana. 2 hifi lights and 15 syns of chocolate.
D- my last platter similar to lunch. But had pineapple and strawberries too with a banana.
Snack tonight handful of grapes and last of hea in my coffee.

I don't know why but I'm feeling disinterested in food other than fruit today.

How are you both doing today? Xx

Do you have an assistance dog? What type of doggy is he/she?!

Ooof 10 days of constipation?! I get annoyed after 2 or 3! Bloody hell Hope the fruit helps get things moving for you xx

I have a collie (merlyn). He is only 8 months later this week, and bought by my mum last year when my 2 year old was dying of cancer. I wasn't sure I was able to look after another but she and hubby knew how much my 2 year meant to me. He was such a help and when I lost him it was devastating. Flynn was the first to know when a fit was coming which gave me time to get to a safe place. He helped empty the washer and dryer and pulled my socks off for me, he did many things as we got him 9 months into my condition and as I deteriorated he seemed to know what I needed and became such an important part of my life all by himself.

They're very intelligent and loyal. Merlyn is now showing similar traits and has also started warning me when a turn is coming. The love and companionship they give is unbelievable. I have carers now for 37 hours a week. The rest of the time my hubby looks after me.

I'm so glad my mum did intervene as loosing Flynn was so hard but merlyn was 4 months old at the time and was and still is a really gentle and good dog having him around is fantastic and always gives me comfort especially during the night when my muscle spasms are at their worst and the pain is unbelievable. He is just as special as Flynn was and I'm really lucky to have him.

The fruit feels like it's doing its job! Fingers crossed it sorts it out.

How are you doing today? Xx

They're incredible aren't they?! I would like to work in training for assistance dogs! Just amazing what they can and are willing to do for you.
I've always worked with animals and have a HUGE interest in canine behaviour and training.
I'm so sorry to hear about Flynn. You must have been devastated :cry: I would never, ever be without a dog. Got two at the moment but did have 3 for a while. When I was a baby I grew up with a dog and his name was even my first word! Dogs are a huge part of my life, they really are
So very glad Merlyn is showing very promising signs. Some dogs just know though don't they? Whether they've been trained or not. Really glad you have a lovely one

I'm not having the best day ever to be honest. My Mum had a suspected mini stroke on Thursday and we spent this morning at the hospital to see a consultant and have tests and stuff. Gotta wait for the rest. Then I was in work till 8pm.
I'm a part time carer for my Mum anyway because she has roughly a bajillion chronic pain illnesses! And this being added on is terrifying! I'm also waiting for a diagnosis for myself too. I was off work for almost 8 months last year with this mystery illness It looks like it is probably ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome but just waiting on the latest test results - they were looking for tumours and such. Again! I also suffer from depression and anxiety. So a bit stressed and tired and stuff at the moment. But trying my best to keep going and do the best I can Looking after my Mum, my animals, and keeping my job are the most important things. Looking after me can happen when I have some time
xx

Gosh you also have a lot on your plate that must be very worrying. My hubby had serious ME 28years ago, it was very sudden and literally landed him bed bound for 2 years. It's taken a lot of effort to fight back and he still gets very tired easily. Caring for family can be hard too, I cared for his mum when she was dying from cancer and it's much harder than caring for a client at work which I then went on to do after we lost her.

We also have 4 other dogs, prior to my accident which caused my condition I used to train breed Dalmatians as a hobby and did a lot for animal welfare and rejoining fostering etc. I can't care for t he others hubby d does now as they are far too strong I'm weak now and fall too often without them bumbling about, they get too excited to see me and jump all over me, it kills me to no longer be their master.

Merlyn has been my saviour since losing Flynn and is such a lovely boy. Like you I couldn't be dogless and since 18 have always had a collie. Collies are very master focused and I've always loved that.

Sounds like a rubbish day, feel free to grab me for a natter any time. I do sincerely hope your mum is ok that sounds very worrying for you. Fingers crossed it's something simple xxx .

Hey!
Thank you for your lovely reply
I'm hearing more and more scary things about ME and how devastating it can be. Really scary, but at the moment it's triggering the stubborn moose in me and I'm determined to pass my work course and qualify. Then work wont be so stressful and I think it'd be easier to cope with. Well, hopefully.... Eeeep!
How did your husband cope with it? How on earth did he manage to start getting out of bed and stuff again??

I cared for my Dad when he had cancer and wasn't in hospital. He wasn't around for very long tho At the time I was out of work with depression and I was home all the time, so I could be there for him when he needed me. Not a job I would wish on anyone!!
I care for my Mum too, but she still works (she too is a stubborn moose ) so I look after her when she needs it but also take care of the house and the mini-zoo so she doesn't have to do too much.

Aww a doggy collection!! What do you have? I can't imagine how hard it must be to not be their master anymore. I feel so, so guilty that I can't walk mine very much at the moment and they go for loooong stretches without any at all. Trying to work out a balance with work, home, study, animals, etc... But they are very very good dogs and are happy at home and have a pile of toys and chewy things and lots of company - it's very rare they're by themselves for more than a few hours.
I'm lucky they're good tho

We had a space between my childhood dog, Bob, dying (he had cancer too) because my Mum was so devastated. But then we got out old Jack who turned up as a stray when he went on to be the grand old age of 20 and a half!!! I got Ellie when I turned 18 - I wanted a dog and Mum said I could when I got a job. We went on holiday, came back and got a job in Petworld. Got her at 14wks from Dogs Trust. And then Dave turned up as an unwanted dog in a relationship breakup about 7 years ago
Dogs are truly awesome!

Thank you for such a lovely reply and offering to chat, really lovely of you!

I hope you're having a good day and have some lovely food x

Good evening how was your day?

I can honestly say I'm no longer constipated, I think my funny tasting passion fruit for yesterday lunch may well have been off. I now feel very queasy after too many bathroom trips last night and this morning

Hubby spent quite sometime in hospital before me was diagnosed. Back then little was understood about it and they kept him in isolation on a tropical diseases unit.

Over time he started writing a novel little by little and slept 90% of the time. He got no help or support and his own fighting spirit and drive to get life back was his drive. It took years but he pushed so hard and bit by bit slept less. Now he gets tired so naps when he can which isn't easy and pushes him self hard all the time.

How has your day been?

Despite craving hot buttered toast I've stuck to plan

B- banana and 1 weetabix heb with half hxa of milk.
L- low-fat bachelor noodles with broccoli carrot cauliflower and fine beans
S- twirl (multipack 9syn)
D- jkt potato beans and salad
S- kitkat 5.5syn hifi light and milky coffee. (Last of hea and heb)

14.5 syn day.

Not bad at all considering. Weigh in tomorrow morning. When do you weigh? I've not sneaky peaked. Xxx

Other dogs I have 1 samoyed who is 11. 3 dalmatians a . Mother 9 a daughter 7 and son 6 like yours they're not getting the exercise they used to as hubby gets tired. They were my lifestyle choices until this accident I did everything for them. But they are better off with us as this is their home and friends and family help as much as they can. They get lots of cuddles attention and love and have a big garden and toys. Xx

Hey!
Well done on staying away from the hot buttered toast. What is it about toast that's sooo good?!

My day was ok-ish. Work wasn't too bad and I got some well deserved (but rare) high praise from my mentor about an assignment I completed! Nearly fell over
I'm so exhausted though and just painful and achey absolutely everywhere Feeling a bit sorry for myself if I'm honest and it takes a lot to do that!
Mum seems to be doing ok today too, a bit better than yesterday anyway

How awful for your husband. It must have been absolutely terrifying! I'm glad there's more known about it now and there seems to be more and more research happening all the time. I'm at the very beginning though and it's all so uncertain and crazy. I don't have a diagnosis yet, which I think is worse because I don't officially know what's going on.

Aww Samoyeds are lovely They always seem to be such happy dogs?

Yeah I feel the same about my dogs. They were my choice and my responsibility and now I feel awful about them going without looong walks and stuff. Last year I was walking roughly 15 miles a week between them - Ellie is an old lady dog now so she doesn't need much, but Dave can go forever!

I WI at work (on the dog scales ) so just whenever I can really. I don't have scales at home because I'd be on them ALL the time lol! I sometimes jump on the scales in my friends house because they have them in the bathroom. They seem to be roughly the same as my work ones as well I'm planning on doing a WI either Thursday or Friday night this week. Depends when work has less people milling about lol.xx

Awesome news that you got some good praise at work today! Everyone needs to be appreciated and the sense of pride afterwards makes the struggle worthwhile doesn't it! Sounds like a much better day for you which is great to hear about.

Weighing on the dog scales,that is the kinda thing I would have done!!! Yes samoyeds are the happiest dog you could meet, he has such charisma! He's full of arthritis now bless him. The other 3 are more energetic but mostly they are good dogs but I do miss being with them 24/7. Like you we walked miles together me and the dogs and I miss that more than driving.

Merlyn however is with me 24/7 getting him as a pup when my condition was already badly affecting me has taught him to be very gentle. He's a good dog and is very considerate to my needs.

Arnt dogs just great. Will let you know how weigh in goes but I'm planning buttered toast with scrambled egg first for breakfast. Xxx

My mentor is a "Miss Perfect" type and drives me nuts. I just want to pass the bloody thing now and am so far passed caring about grades! But nice to think she thinks I should get a distinction with this one too. I mean, I know I'm awesome Just nice for someone else to see it too!
Have got a few days off next week as standown for the horrific weekend shift I'll be doing, so will hit the studying/assignments as best I can. Might as well do as much as I can when I can and prepare for bad days/weeks.

Hehe the dog scales are really handy They weigh in Kg's so I usually get google to work it out for me Coz I'm lazy and my maths suck But yeah, dead handy! But they're in the main corridor, so have to wait until it's quiet. We all do it tho

Everytime I've met a Samoyed they're just smiley and look super happy! Lovely creatures

It's frustrating thinking what we used to do isn't it? I mean, I feel awful for complaining because I know my situation is nowhere near as bad as yours. I can't even imagine But it takes a lot of getting used to even small changes from illness and whatever doesn't it?!

Dogs are the best! If I could only have one pet it would be a dog. But I don't think I would ever just have one

Hope you enjoyed the hot buttered toast xx

Hiya cheekychinchilla how was your day today? Yep it does suck when your physical body will not do what your mind thinks it can. It's a terrible condition ME. To be honest it's hard for anyone to adjust at any age with neurological or autoimmune type conditions. They strike random people it seems with no concrete reason why ie too much wine rots the liver etc. But so far there's no reason for some people to be more susceptible to things like ME or fibromyalgia or even CRPS/RSD which is what I have. It's not easy not knowing what each day has in store. I know in many ways mine is worse than your position it is impossible to plan life the same as others and it's bad enough for you to suffer it. Xxx

So weigh in day 41/2lbs off achieving 1/2 st award and slimmer of the week too.

Food

B- whole grapefruit and activia 0%
L- banana. Strawberries,blueberries,blackberries,grapes.
D- Morrison chilled lamb shank,(11/2syn) carrots,cabbage,Leek. Rice pudding with almond unsweetened. 5 syn with b choice tinned prunes and 11/2 tbsp jam 3syn

Plus a choice skim milk in day drinks 9.5 syns and I'm tucked up in bed xx

4.5lbs off is amazing Fantastic!! Well done!!

I think what probably could have triggered mine was an immense run of very stressful emotional situations. My GP believes I had a depression crisis in January/Feb and then I went to the Arctic in March and I think that just tipped it completely It almost helps that I know why it may have happened or at least what the trigger is, but it doesn't help the condition itself.
What is CRPS/RSD, if you don't mind me asking? I'm pretty good with medical stuff because I've been around it my entire life either for myself (heart patient since birth!) and then my Mum and Dad too. I'm insanely curious and interested in medical stuff too. So I apologise if I ask anything inappropriate - in advance. xx

No need to apologise I'm not easily offended. It's a neurological problem. I have copied below from nhs site. It is also know as rsd regional sympathetic dystrophy.


Complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS) is a poorly understood condition in which a person develops a persistent (chronic) burning pain in one of their limbs.
The pain usually develops after an injury – which in most cases is a minor injury – but the pain experienced is out of all proportion to what you would normally expect. For example, a person with CRPS may only strain their ankle but it can feel like a serious burn.
The skin of the affected body part can become very sensitive, and even the slightest touch, bump, or change in temperature can provoke a feeling of intense pain.
If left untreated the pain can spread to other parts of the body too.
In some cases of CRPS the pain passes after a few weeks. In others it can persist for months or even years. Some people have repeated episodes of pain followed by long stretches of remission (being pain-free). Sadly mine is never in remission as it was wrongly treated.
[h=3]Treating CRPS[/h]There are three main treatment approaches for CRPS which are used in combination:

• physical therapy, such as physiotherapy, to help improve the range of movement in the affected body part and prevent muscle wasting
• medication, such as the non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) type of painkillers such as ibuprofen, to relieve pain
• counselling and support to help people cope better emotionally with the impact of living with chronic pain

The sooner treatment is started after symptoms begin, the more effective it will be. (Mine was left too long)
[h=3]What causes CRPS[/h]The cause of CRPS is unknown but the condition appears linked to an abnormal neural (involving the nervous system) response to injury.
It appears something (nobody is sure what) causes certain nerves to misfire in some way triggering pain.
CRPS could be the result of interconnected factors.
A previous theory that CRPS was a psychosomatic condition (the symptoms of pain were psychological – "all in the mind") has been disproved because research shows people with CRPS undergo very real physical changes in their nervous system.
[h=3]Who is affected[/h]It is hard to estimate exactly how common CRPS is as many cases may go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. One study reported as many as 1 in 3,800 people in England may be affected by CRPS.
CRPS can begin at any age.

So how are you today cheekychinchilla? Thanks for congrats. I'm pleased with my loss this week . 6 more stone to go to get back into my skinny size 10 jeans. Food today so far

B-banana (I had a milky coffee too with part hea)
L- 5 scanbran (heb) 2 laughing cow light (3syns)1 each of blue cheese and emmentile. With grapes Apple strawberries blueberries and a few blackberries. And a Cadbury caramel from multipack. (9.syn!)

Total so far syns (12.5)

Oh God, that sounds like just what my Mum had post-op from a trapeziectomy this year!! They described it as like a phantom limb type issue, her brain didn't recognise that part of her hand and didn't recognise her thumb at all for a very long time! But she has odd reactions to heat/cold/pressure/etc. She feels cold as intense burning and is very very sensitive to touch. She says that if there's a loose hair on her it feels like her skin is crawling and it burns! How awful I'm really sorry! But thank you for sharing that with me

Could I be really cheeky and ask what your accident was? Only because I'm really interested. But, again, tell me to do one

I'm really bloody painful today. Had to get my glasses on at work too because I was rather blurry and lightheaded. Had an extra long break and another one later on too. I was still answering the emergency phone so not like I was doing nothing. And I had done all my jobs anyway

I was doing a fast day today and outdid myself with my tea lol. Absolutely love these fasting days Btw, feel free to come check out my diary and say hello. The ladies who visit are all lovely too

Mmmm Cadbury's Caramel is one of my major weaknesses! Back in the good (fat) old days I could happily sit and devour a big bar of that to myself. I do buy Caramel Freddo's and Bunnies though as a low syn treat xx