Those important little realisations...

In talking to another Slimming World member tonight - i've come to another important realisation/stepping stone. Before the weight loss - people would judge me purely by the amount of weight i was carrying - but I always used to say to myself that if they want to judge a book (i.e. me) by it's cover - then i don't want to know them. and i will still stand by that.

Judge the person by who they are, not what they look like. But truly - I'm a better person as I am now, as opposed to who I was then - and i'm not just talking about the outward appearance either. Let them judge by the cover by all means, but the weight loss has meant that as much as the cover has improved - so has the content - get to know that as well and if you have to judge - then judge as the whole. If it's just the cover that bothers you - then go away - i don't want to know.


---

Another thing I've come to realise recently as well (this journey never stops with it's realisations/surprises) is that it is easy to loose motivation - but remember how far you've come in
your journey, and why you started it in the first place. Then think back over your own journey and where you are now compared to where you were - think back over all those little positive changes that I'm sure you're bound to have noticed in yourself. Now start thinking how those changes are going to be multiplied as you progress down the path.

This is what has worked for me over time - so hope it helps others...


Anyone have any others to share?

I think one of the most important realisations for me is how much more 'myself' I am now that the weight is gone - I hadn't realised before how much of a defensive front I used to put on every single day, just to get me through. It's been interesting to remember who I really am, and reassuring to see that the people who liked and respected me when I was so big obviously still do now, and are happy for me. That means a lot to me.

It's very much still a journey of discovery even after you get to goal, isn't it?

I would like to think that I haven't changed as a person!

The things that make me fundamentally who I am- my views, opinions, relationships, capacity for fun and love, intelligence and overall joy at being alive have always been there

My weight loss definitely makes the superficial stuff easier and it has also improved my health, fitness and life expectancy, but I wouldn't say I am a 'better' person.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I know what you're saying CP.

My capacity for fun and love of live - they were basically non-existent before the weight loss. Truly - at one point - 4 or so years ago - I'd actually say I was deliberately trying to kill myself with my eating (and smoking).

Now I've lost the weight - i'm living, i'm happier then I have been for years, and i don't want that to stop. My outlook on life is much better then it's been for years too.

One person recently also commented that i'm a lot less grumpier then i used to be.

So all told - does that not make me a "better" person then before?

Sounds like you are a lot happier, mate! I am so glad you have control of your life now.

I guess this is where 'cause and effect' comes in (getting deep!) were we fat because we were unhappy, or unhappy because we were fat? Sounds like you were very unhappy and possibly using weight in some way as a punishment? Happily you now seem in control and positive- was that what spurred you into tackling your weight or was it the result of your loss?

This is why weight is such a complex issue- we all have different reasons for our 'problem'- we are all following the same programme to lose the weight but our journeys are SO different.

Mine didn't involve a change in me, as I wasn't unhappy with myself before (only unhappy with how I looked) but I know many people are- it is inspiring that you can show those people how different their life can be if they want to change who they are

xxxx

CP - I could write forever and a day on what i attribute the weight gain too - and bore everyone silly in the process.

It comes down to two factors though:

1) lack of activity due to a knee injury when i was a teenager
2) Depression in the later part of teenagehood, leading to comfort eating, that in turn lead to chronic overeating and not being able to get out of the cycle for simply not knowing any better, and once i did realise what i was doing - i didn't know how to get out of the trap.

Being in control and more positive has come as a (very welcome) side effect of the weight loss - as has the increased energy and confidence levels.

The weight wasn't a punishment for being unhappy - just a by product of trying to make myself happy. However it did also act as a shield to prevent me getting hurt again after a few failed relationships - i found being as big as i was a useful way to keep people at arms length and an excuse to not let people get close.


.

I'm realising that it's OK to feel hungry, it's OK to snack, it's OK to want something 'naughty' and that in fact I can be in control of these things not the other way round. I can wait until I'm hungry, then have a meal, I can snack (on the right things) and still lose weight (so I don't have to have massive meals to 'keep me going' until the next meal), I can plan when and what quantity of treats to have and shop so as to have these things available, rather than banishing them from the house as 'bad' foods which led me to mindless impulse buying and eating chocolate / crisps with little enjoyment and little control and certainly no portion control.