Rachel says 'Hi' and sneaks in quietly!!

I have decided to try and stick to writing a diary as well as sticking to SS'ing, well, theres a first time for everything, right?!!

Quick-Biog:

I am 35, 4 sprogs, 1 hubby, 1 cat. I currently weigh 20st 8lbs and would love to get down to 10st ish. I have yo-yo'd for nearly 18yrs. I can lose weight but my resolve goes and I have always, always put on more weight. Many many issues with food, I could blame them on a lot of things but as its only me who can sort this out in the long run and I can't afford a therapist, I'm not going into it!!

I first started CD way back in March 2006 and lost 3.5st whcih was great, but I constantly sabotaged my own diet, opting to have a high protein meal once a week as a treat and then twice a week and then I was back to my usual style of eating. Since then, my weight has gone up to my highest ever of 21st 1.5lbs, OMG!!! I feel disgusting!! Anyway, I tried WW but just wasnt into it although I lost a few lbs.

So, I have decided to go back to CD as it has worked for me before and if I can make it through the first few days while hubby and sprogs eat delish food in front of me, then I know I can make it!

I met my CD on Thursday at lunch time at my work, she's lovely and she gave me my weeks supply. I fully intended to start on the Friday but got home and had a few voddies and some tomato soup, weird concoction I know!! :sign0137:

So this morning, I got up, fixed the pc, had a banana shake, drinking my 1st 1.5ltr bottle of water whilt hubby and kids ate morning rolls Box of Butteries (48) : Ashers Bakery, World Famous Whiskey Cakes,Wedding Cakes, Butteries, Biscuits and more! slathered in butter, I know they don't look that great but they are so tasty! Gillian Mckeith has started to wage a war on them!!

I'm sitting here now trying to think of things to do that dont involve food!! The weather is grotty so no walks out, maybe go see the new Spidy film?

I'm so glad that I sorted the pc, we have had so much trouble with it of late but I finally decided to sit down and sort it out, 2hrs later and all is fine and dandy, the Broadband is working a treat!

Ah well, I think I'm gonna booger off and do something constructive for a few hours, take a couple of pics of the 'before me' and hope to god that I do do it this time and that I caan finally post some 'after' pics with pride!!

Wish me luck pretty please?!! arty0011:

You are starting at the same weight that I am at now......you can do this.

I really really hope so Sonkie, I see so many success stories on here, peoples diaries, how far they have come, you included!

I've set myself a mini-goal of comfortably getting in to a size 18 (currently a 24) by the 16th July as me and hubs are going to Dublin for a few days while my mum has the kids. i know I can do it in the time given as I have done before, I just cant handle being this big in Summer!

How have you found it so far, how do you cope when you're family are eating , when the feeling of deprivation kicks in?!!
Any tips will be gratefully received!! :gimi:

Actually its ok, I find it harder when Im by myself.....I went through a phase of sniffing everything that we being eaten, my favourite was crisps. Though I dont need to do this now.....lol.
As you have done this before you kinow about the drinking plenty of water etc.
I am thinking of this diet 1 stone at a time as its very daunting if you look at the bigger picture.
You are free to go into any forum and chat so dont feel restricted to the cd forum.
At the moment a few of us are having a giggle in the threadstoppers thread in the chit chat forum. Feel free to come on in.
Im on lipotrim, basically the same as cd but less flavours so my diary is in there.

Frankly, I am amazed at myself!! I decided to go down town with my hubby and youngest sprog just to have a look around and to take my mind off things.
What I hadnt realised was that the International Food Market was on!!!!

Normally, I would be over the moon arty0019: but not today, however.....................................................................

I resisted it all, the Bockwurst, the chocolate crepes, the cheeses, the paella, the garlic potatoes and on and on and on! arty0023: The smells alone were divine, but I resisted it all, 'go Rachel, go Rachel'!!!

I know ts only day1 and all, but what a day to not eat, I would normally have given in and justified it all some how.
Hubby was a bit of a pain when we came home tho, he sat in front of me eating sticky chicken and egg fried rice apart from having a mini strop, I still havent had anything. I know that this doesnt sound much really, but I have to do this and any day conquered is a good one for me!

Anyhoo, I'm just sitting down to watch the end of grease is the Word (sad I know) but what the hey! 3rd 1.5ltr down the hatch and another on the way!
My eldest daughter (14) has just made me chuckle tho, she really really has a crush on the lad next door and eventually plucked up the courage to ask if she could borrow a cd, bless! She just told me tho that she has put a little note in the case saying she likes him and gave him her number!! :cupid: I would never have been so brave!!

Oh well, day1 just about under the belt, fingers crossed for day2!! :wavey:

Well done you did really well avoiding all that temptation so early on....if you keep that determination you will succeed

sonkie said:

Well done you did really well avoiding all that temptation so early on....if you keep that determination you will succeed

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Fingers crossed I will, that goodness the market is only here 4 times a year, another 3 months til its back!!

Sandstorm in Aberdeen on Day2 - throat like a camels a**e on Day3

Day2 started off pretty well, was down at the bus stop at 8.10am to catch the country bus out to Thainstone Boot Sale, glorious day if a bit windy.
It was heaving with folk all out to get a bargain, I joined them once I tackled the cattlegrid with my crutch and dodgy knee!

After about half an hour tho, the wind really picked up and it looked almost like a sand storm had hit us! The car park there is compacted dirt/sand so it all lifted and blew into and onto everything, it got everywhere, good job I hadnt done anything with my hair apart from a quick wash and brush as it was standing on end by the time we left!

On the wy back just after lunch time, we spied the local pub and being parched as we were, decided to pop in for a quick drink (of water, I said) suffice to say, my determination wavered big time arty0036: and I ended up in bed 6 hrs later, very drunk and feeling sick :sign0137: and p****d off as I had eaten soooooooooo much.

Lesson learned - DO not under any circumstances go near a pub or alcohol selling establishment until a good few weeks SS'ing are under my belt! Always the same combo, drink alcohol-eat food! :thinking2:

Its now 11.24am on Monday and I dont think I'll have a problem getting the water down me today! I am soooo thirsty! I have had my first shake of the day, and plan on having the Mushroom soup for lunch, its lush! Not much to do today tho, have filled out passport application forms for me and hubby, neither of us have been on holiday for years so I cant wait!! :character00238: So looking forward to it even tho its only 5 days in Dublin, not abroad abroad, but its a holiday without the sprogs!!

Hopefully, when I log back on later, I will have had a great day and stuck to my 3 shakes/soups with plenty of water!

Aww poor you, a blip already eh...lol.
Try to put ot out of your mind and start with a clean slate.
Hope today has gone well.

sonkie said:

Aww poor you, a blip already eh...lol.
Try to put ot out of your mind and start with a clean slate.
Hope today has gone well.

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Not bad at all, just having my mushroom soup now, its really quite fine! Hows your day going?

Best of luck RachelA with your diet journey.

I think we all seem to go through a transition period when we make up our minds to change something in our lives, it feels that the whole world is conspiring against us when we start out.

If you get even the half a day done it is a start and just push on to the next. One day at a time...

Love Mini xxx

My day well its been pretty naff really but I am still being good and being 100%
We can and will succeed

hey welcome rachel
i to am or should i say was 20stone 3lb
i`m into week 3 of ss and have lost 14lb so far

wanted to wish you lots of luck and stick at it girl it does get easier




kaz xxx

Mini said:

I think we all seem to go through a transition period when we make up our minds to change something in our lives, it feels that the whole world is conspiring against us when we start out.

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Mini, I know what you are saying is true, I feel like I have made my mind up to do this, to stick to SS, but I feel like I have been arguing with the good and bad me all day, trying to convince myself not to eat! I would gladly do without a sense of smell for the forseeable future, food smells so lush when you cant have any!!

Mini said:

If you get even the half a day done it is a start and just push on to the next. One day at a time...

Love Mini xxx

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Thats how Im trying to look at it, before I have always thought, 'well, screwed that up so there's no point', but not now, i'm finding it hard to day, but I havent given in and I dont intend to and from past experience, I know that with each good day that passes, the stronger my resolve is.

Thanks for the words of wisdom!! :thankyou:

kazbro said:

hey welcome rachel
i to am or should i say was 20stone 3lb
i`m into week 3 of ss and have lost 14lb so far

wanted to wish you lots of luck and stick at it girl it does get easier
kaz xxx

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Hey Kaz, Well done on the 14lbs!! I can't wait to hit my first stone, hope it happens soon!

I know it gets easier, honestly I do and its like I said to Mini, the more good days I have, the stronger my reslove, so at the end of today I will be feeling stronger methinks!! I'll try my damndest to stick to this tho, I dont want to get any bigger!

sonkie said:

My day well its been pretty naff really but I am still being good and being 100%
We can and will succeed

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Well done for sticking 100%, shame your days been so naff tho, wish I could help? I know its harder to stick to SS'ing when you are having rough time (past experience obviously, not current!!)

Minimins really does help when you think you are going to crack tho! :character00148:

Brief but have horrible headache

:cry: Oh poo!! My head hurts, this is the part I always hate..... I seem to be able to get into ketosis pretty quick which is a bonus obviously but I hate the headaches!!

Today, I have:

1/ Been mumphing around feeling sorry for myself
2/ Sniffing food!
3/ Been an utter cow to my hubby
4/ Argued with myself ALL RUDDY DAY!!! :devilangel:

Raaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhh!!!

Anway, rant over you'll be glad to hear! :clap:

Hubby will start to think I have an internet lover or something, the amount of time I'm spending on here!! lol!!

I had the most yummy of all soups for lunch as far as I'm concerned, I love the Mushroom soup, I was unaware of its existence until late on in my cd journey last time until I moaned to my cdd about the soups and I asked if there were any others at all, she offered me this as its a lactose free one and hadnt been offered to me before. I love it!!

Hopefully, i'll be able to come on here tomorrow during the day. I'm at work but Im sure I can hide the screen for a few minutes while I get my daily fix!!

Ah well, off to down another 1.5ltr's of the wet but healthy stuff! :tear_drop::tear_drop::tear_drop::tear_drop:

Hi ya Rachel

Good luck on your journey to a slimmer healthy happier you ~ same old Rachel ~ just smaller

I am exactly like you and turn to food and drink for any sodding reason really

My issues with food are not anything to do with being hungry ~ its a mind thing

Me and you both need to be able to go to the pub, enjoy the company of good friends and not have to eat or drink. (what a task !!!!)

I am taking my weight loss one day at a time and patting myself on the back every single day I complete SS without cheating ~ its not easy though Rachel. But I still go to the pub quiz have water, then a black coffee then water (boring boring boring but I am trying to change my attitude towards food and drink boo hoo) and yesterday went out with my friend who got very drunk and ate a kebab and I was a saint all day (food wise anyway he he )

Tomorrow is another day and I wish you well ~ try and think why you are eating or having that drink as you sound a really confident and fun girlie who doesn't need drink to socialize ~ get out there girl and live !!!!!

Enough already ~ dont I rabbit on !!!!

Keep out of the KITCHEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luv Luv

SHAZA said:

Hi ya Rachel

I am exactly like you and turn to food and drink for any sodding reason really

My issues with food are not anything to do with being hungry ~ its a mind thing

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See, I so know where you are coming from! I wish it was just down to hunger, cos that i could control! I eat when Im happy,sad,angry blah blah balh!!

SHAZA said:

Me and you both need to be able to go to the pub, enjoy the company of good friends and not have to eat or drink. (what a task !!!!)

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Now, I am sure that I can do this, but I need to be with someone who understands! You just have tho, well done you!! I did do it before and it was fine, the only thing I hate is the feelings of deprivation I get!

SHAZA said:

I am taking my weight loss one day at a time and patting myself on the back every single day I complete SS without cheating ~ its not easy though Rachel.

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I know its not easy, I do feel I have learnt something over the last couple of days tho, I have carried on SS'ing and not given up at the first hurdle, it is a learning curve which is a good thing, not just the quick fix as well. I really need to learn the lessons this time round as I dont want to yo-yo forever! The one day at a time thing seems to be working!

SHAZA said:

But I still go to the pub quiz have water, then a black coffee then water (boring boring boring but I am trying to change my attitude towards food and drink boo hoo) and yesterday went out with my friend who got very drunk and ate a kebab and I was a saint all day (food wise anyway he he )

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Now that sounds interesting lol!!

SHAZA said:

Tomorrow is another day and I wish you well ~ try and think why you are eating or having that drink as you sound a really confident and fun girlie who doesn't need drink to socialize ~ get out there girl and live !!!!!

Enough already ~ dont I rabbit on !!!!

Keep out of the KITCHEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luv Luv

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Yous sound fab!! I know I dont need a drink to socialize but resistance seemed mighty futile the other day when faced with a pubby type oasis after my sandstorm scenario!! I know, excuses,excuses!!

Hope you have a great day too! xx arty0011:

Feeling better, no headache so far!

Woke up at 6.15am this morning, got up, had my shower, ironed my work shirt etc etc. I have to catch the 7.15am bus to work so much as I hate getting up early, if I want to keep a roof over my head, it has to be done!!

Anyhoo, youngest daughter has been poorly since last Wednesday and although we had someone to look after her (mil-who says my molly is a drama queen, hmmpphh, like she's so perfect!!) today, I was hoping that she would be better and that I wouldnt have to take a day off work. Sadly tho, coughing could be heard from her bedroom very loudly :sick:
I took the bull by the horns and called into work to let my boss know I couldnt come in, now he is really fine about stuff like that, I just make up the time by working through lunch, coming in a bit early etc, but a girl in my office, I'll call her the poison dwarf for reasons that will become evident in future postings no doubt, has it severely in for me!!

She was Queen Bee in an office full of men until I came along, and all I have done since is do my job, i get on well with everyone and have tried to with her but all to no avail, she makes snidy (sic) comments about me to my face and also behind my back, calls me the bosses blue-eyed girl etc!! Jeez!! I mean lets have a reality check shall we, She's petite, blonde, pretty, has worked with them since she left school and she seems jealous of me for what reason exactly?!!

Umm, I digress.......

Anyway, i'm just worried that she will stir more while Im off today, last time I had to leave work early, she spread it that I was off to an interview, was going to give up my job etc! Now, its a very small company and I dont want my boss to get the wrong idea, he's a lovely bloke, very approachable and so on. I suppose the thing that is stopping me from panicking too much is the fact that they do know what she is like and from what I can see let her get away with it. They do take what she says with a pinch of salt thankfully!

So, on a brighter and more cheery note, I am off to have my first shake of the day (ooh, these Arab men, they are insatiable!!)) Sorry, just in that sort of mood today!! :sign0007:
Halfway through 1st 1.5ltr bottle of the wet stuff, away to finish the housework (gads!!) and then will settle down to finish my book!

Will check back in ain a couple of hours and see who's hanging around!!