SalazarSlytherin
Full Member
I've never stuck to a diet before. I've tried several, weight watchers (a few times), slimming world, slim fast, e-diets, tesco diets, atkins diet, GI diet and a few other random less known ones. But through them all one thing has remained the same. I've never succeeded, in fact I've only put on MORE weight. When I got on the scales last week I was the heaviest I have ever been. I could have cried. I was 16 stone 11. I'm going to say that again because I never want to forget how I felt at that moment. 16 stone 11lb. That's so far over what I should be. Almost 17 stone. I knew in that moment that was IT. I signed up to weight watchers online, threw out all temptation food (no finishing it off because I didn't want to waste money). No, it went out of the house.
And then I sat down to think about what had gone wrong before and I could have cried because what went wrong in ALL my previous attempts to lose weight was...me. I'd hide in the kitchen and scoff a packet of crisps as quickly as possible, I'd eat a handful of chips before I served up a more appropriate portion. I'd eat that chocolate bar and hide the wrapper. All in secret so I'd be able to look virtuous in front of my OH. And then when I didn't lose weight I'd decide it didn't work and I'd quit. I lied to myself for years. And you know, I was only cheating myself. My OH didn't really care if I had a chocolate bar, he just wanted to support me. I wasn't getting one over on him, I was losing out myself. I was sabotaging myself. I've never ever ever stuck to a diet. Not even for a day. Shameful isn't it? I feel ashamed reading that.
But this time when I looked at the scales reading my heaviest ever weight I knew. This couldn't go on. This had to change. And if I don't get to each a chocolate bar until it's done then so be it. I don't want to buy ready made 'low fat' products. I don't want to eat weight watchers biscuits and crisps and wonder where my points have gone. No, I want to make a CHANGE. For ME. And for my children.
I was surprised how many points I was allocated (breastfeeding Mummy here so extra points) and as I looked at my children I decided this time was it. No cheating. No excuses. No doing it later, I'm doing this HERE and NOW.
And I've stuck to it. I haven't had ONE of my daughter's sweets, I ignored OH's pringles. I've measured my portions, I planned my meals and I've snacked only on fruit. Because this time is IT. I'm four days in and I haven't broken plan once and although it's early days, I'm so proud of myself for it. Because I can do this. I will do this. This is the time. I'll never look at the scales and see that weight again. I'll never be further than goal than I am now. And yes, when I snuck on the scales this morning (just to see), I'm already thrilled. I won't weigh in until Thursday (my WI day), but lets say that I already never had results like this. I've never felt like I could lose weight until this time. Because I just know I can. I won't go through my life fat. I have control over what I put in my mouth. Me. And I choose to make the right choices.
And then I sat down to think about what had gone wrong before and I could have cried because what went wrong in ALL my previous attempts to lose weight was...me. I'd hide in the kitchen and scoff a packet of crisps as quickly as possible, I'd eat a handful of chips before I served up a more appropriate portion. I'd eat that chocolate bar and hide the wrapper. All in secret so I'd be able to look virtuous in front of my OH. And then when I didn't lose weight I'd decide it didn't work and I'd quit. I lied to myself for years. And you know, I was only cheating myself. My OH didn't really care if I had a chocolate bar, he just wanted to support me. I wasn't getting one over on him, I was losing out myself. I was sabotaging myself. I've never ever ever stuck to a diet. Not even for a day. Shameful isn't it? I feel ashamed reading that.
But this time when I looked at the scales reading my heaviest ever weight I knew. This couldn't go on. This had to change. And if I don't get to each a chocolate bar until it's done then so be it. I don't want to buy ready made 'low fat' products. I don't want to eat weight watchers biscuits and crisps and wonder where my points have gone. No, I want to make a CHANGE. For ME. And for my children.
I was surprised how many points I was allocated (breastfeeding Mummy here so extra points) and as I looked at my children I decided this time was it. No cheating. No excuses. No doing it later, I'm doing this HERE and NOW.
And I've stuck to it. I haven't had ONE of my daughter's sweets, I ignored OH's pringles. I've measured my portions, I planned my meals and I've snacked only on fruit. Because this time is IT. I'm four days in and I haven't broken plan once and although it's early days, I'm so proud of myself for it. Because I can do this. I will do this. This is the time. I'll never look at the scales and see that weight again. I'll never be further than goal than I am now. And yes, when I snuck on the scales this morning (just to see), I'm already thrilled. I won't weigh in until Thursday (my WI day), but lets say that I already never had results like this. I've never felt like I could lose weight until this time. Because I just know I can. I won't go through my life fat. I have control over what I put in my mouth. Me. And I choose to make the right choices.
