scooterchick
She's me in a few months
As you can probably guess from the title, I'm no stranger to starting diaries. I'm overweight and I know I know I need to lose weight. But I'm in denial. I suffer from body dismorphic disorder or whatever you call it, in opposite. I don't see myself as big as I truly am. I look at my profile pic and various other photo's taken over the years and I'm fairly happy with what I see, I have a beautiful face (or at least I used to) and although I've always been curvy, my face carried it. When I look in the mirror I preen myself, suck my tummy in, and as there is no-one standing beside me as a direct comparison, I actually look not too bad, a bit chubby but it's fine.
But it's not.
Someone took a photograph of me the other night and posted it on facebook. My eyes have been opened. I can't believe what I've done to myself. I actually thought I was fine, even maybe fanciable. I was so wrong. I need to lose weight, no more playing with it, I've been hovering around 18st since Feb after losing a stone in January. If I'd stuck to it I could be 14st by now. And then maybe fanciable. So here it is............
No more joking around, I don't want to be that woman. I want to be her in the avvy. And it's not just about the way I look, I keep falling over, I think because my centre of gravity is so messed up (I'm a large apple), my legs and feet and sore al the time, and I have 3 wee boys to look after (on my own!). As well as working and trying to get my singing career underway again. I need energy. In abundance.
But it's not.
Someone took a photograph of me the other night and posted it on facebook. My eyes have been opened. I can't believe what I've done to myself. I actually thought I was fine, even maybe fanciable. I was so wrong. I need to lose weight, no more playing with it, I've been hovering around 18st since Feb after losing a stone in January. If I'd stuck to it I could be 14st by now. And then maybe fanciable. So here it is............
No more joking around, I don't want to be that woman. I want to be her in the avvy. And it's not just about the way I look, I keep falling over, I think because my centre of gravity is so messed up (I'm a large apple), my legs and feet and sore al the time, and I have 3 wee boys to look after (on my own!). As well as working and trying to get my singing career underway again. I need energy. In abundance.