40 years wasted--the ranting of a loon

[drbetteridge]

I have been overweight to varying degrees all my life, and have always wanted to lose weight. Agreeing with a statement made here, I just couldn't be bothered to give it anything but a mild attempt--mostly lying to myself that I was making more effort than I was. Kidding myself didn't make me any thinner. I'm getting ready to pass the 40 year mark, and it has taken me this long to get it into my head that nothing is going to happen by me wishing. I'm now feeling up for the challenge. I have one last burst of energy to do this, and if I can't be bothered this time then it obviously doesn't mean as much to me as I have always thought. If I fail this time, I will never do it. This is how I will be for the rest of my life-and I will have no one to blame but myself.

The whole thing is stressful and tedious, but mostly just damned unfair. In the end though, fooling yourself takes even more energy and time than just getting on and doing it.

Rant over

 

[SarahSez]

Hi Denise,
you've made the first step; you're emotionally ready and you probably have never been before.

Good luck on your journey

 

[drbetteridge]

Thanks, I've never felt so positive. The rant was just to get the bitterness out of my system once and for all. Wasn't meant to be a pity party

 

[Stirky7]

I love the fact we can post any rantings on here and we know it'll make us feel better, plus the fact we know others that read it will know how we are feeling as they've been there themselves too! I've always been overweight too all my adult life, now is the time to make the change! Like you say now or never and doing it properly this time! No messing lol x

 

[drbetteridge]

You Go, Girl!

 

[Lind]

I know what you mean Denise, I think you can kid yourself for so long that you're doing all the right things but in the end you just have to take the responsibilty and if you want it bad enough then go for it. I lost a load of weight then got bored and sort of kidded myself I was doing all the right things and it was all ok. It's only now, that I have got my head back into the "zone" that I realised that I have been messing around since April and if I had kept my head down and jsut got on with it I would be about my target weight by now.
This is the only time I am ever going to diet, I will be sucsessful, and I will get to where I want to be. Only now I understand that it's only me that can make it happen for me.

God I love a good rant to...

 

[LightRaven]

You know what started me on this whole weight loss thing in the first place is the fact that I will be turning 30 in November (SCARY!) and I didn't want to be 30.. and fat. I have also been overweight most of my life.... ironically I was underweight as a small child. It was when we moved to Philadelphia from Ohio, and then some horrible crap that happened to me from the ages of 7-15... I just started to eat and eat. I know why I'm overweight. I know how I got there. And it always used to be "Oh, I loose weight before my junior prom....." then it was the senior prom, then it was before I started college, so on and so on.

But I can't imagine living my life like this any longer and being held back by this shell that I have essentially created... both physically and emotionally. If it's not for me, it's for my daughter. Aside from being physically limted because of my size... I don't want to die young and leave her here all by her self. My father died about 4 years ago... of stomach cancer.. he was 53... and I curse him for not taking care of himself so he could be here when I had Ayleigh, or when my marriage fell apart... or when I need job advise... or directions to some random place.....

If you can't do it for yourself. You do it for your kids. If you can't do that either.. then it's time to analyze the self destructive behavior and potential death wish with a professional.

/end another rant..

LR

 

[drbetteridge]

Amen.