A breakthrough...sort of

[FridgeNinja]

I had a bit of a...what do you call it...epiphany tonight. I know this is going to sound obvious but I just sort of needed to get it off my chest because until now I couldnt work out why I haven't been able to stick to a diet.

And the answer is because I don't want to or don't care. I say I want to, I look a pictures of a skinnier me and think yes omg I want to lose weight when really what I want is either to be happier (as I was when I was thinner) or I want to literally be thinner because of reasons abcd and e, and by that I mean I want to look that way, by magic, yep I expect to just take a magic pill and wake up looking gorgeous in the morning, or maybe watch my calories for a week or a month and then go back to how I always eat, anything and everything whenever and how ever much I want. I know weight loss, proper long term weight loss is going to be hard and I'm just plain lazy, it's too hard and it doesnt matter and I'll always be a fatty anyway etc. I know I need to lose weight because (a) people have told me so (i.e. doctors etc) (b) the government tells me so (BMI etc) (c) My body tells me so (my brain sure tells me its unhappy with the way I look and my body sure tells me I'm not fit by being out of breathe etc) and I know logically that for my own good I SHOULD lose weight because I'm a lot happier when I'm thinnier and its a lot better for my health etc. But it's like a battle because honestly part of me doesnt care, I'm not bothered and it is for that reason that my weight is getting worse rather than better. It's not quite motivation because if i wanted it you know one finds ways of getting oneself motivated etc but im just not even bothered I have seem to have accepted that I'm a fat person and I have always been a fat person and I will always be a fat person.

I feel kind of good, not because I know now I'm not bothered about doing it because that's awful, but because I've identified a problem and a problem is a challenge and a challenge can equal progress. But the question is what can I do to convince myself I HAVE to change and I HAVE TO WANT TO change and that I CAN change if only I wanted it?! You know I can see all these negative things about over eating but I just don't care enough about myself to care about the problems.

So that's it, a breakthrough in that I've identified a whole lot of my problem. Self worth and self image.
But not really a breakthrough in that I've still no clue how to tackle it and really make myself care about my health and what I'm eating.

Any comments/ help appreciated xx

I'd offer cake to any of you that actually bother to read this post but I think that defeats the object

 

[Faxman]

Hey, I read it!
Maybe you need to find a way of enjoying making change. Perhaps find an active hobby or sport that you enjoy and maybe you will start wanting to be slimmer/fitter rather than just feeling like you ought to.
Obviously I don't know you so I have no idea if the above is helpful, or how active you are already. I reckon you need to do something to make you feel happier and more positive and maybe rather than focusing on a specific diet you could try perhaps just cutting out a few bad habits. Hopefully if you are feeling more positive (and exercise really helps with that) you may find yourself feeling good and wanting to feel even better.
I am guessing a bit here and I know it isn't easy but don't be hard on yourself. Do you have a good friend or relative who you could team up with and go to the gym/dance/play badminton/run or whatever?
Instead of focusing on the negative, if you can get into the habit of feeling better you will want to build on that and it could take on a snowball (not the advocat variety) effect!
Good luck

 

[faery_lights]

It sounds to me like you need to motivate yourself in different ways.

Firstly, sit down and write down every reason YOU (not your Doctor, not the Government) want to be thinner. Then put this list somewhere you can see.

Secondly, find a weightloss system that works for you. It sounds to me like you need support and motivating so I think one of the weightloss groups might be useful.

Thirdly, do not rush everything. I think part of the problem is that you are psychologically denying yourself everything you enjoyed and thus making yourself more likely to go back on that. Start making small changes and gradually build up to it- this will then feel like less of a challenge. So, for example, say this week I will have three healthy breakfasts. Then four, then five... until you have a healthy breakfast everyday.

But ultimately, nothing is going to happen unless you make it happen and that's something you have to accept. Even a small change will have a positive affect. Good luck.

 

[Patchninja]

And ultimately, you're worth it. Simples!