Better to start somewhere than nowhere...

[RedRevolver]

Hello,

I might have started a diary before. I'm not sure. I go in and out of looking for weight loss advice, usually because I end up getting depressed and feeling bad about myself and falling back into the patterns of not eating properly. Plus, I've been at university the past two years, and have found the adjustment from home difficult. I haven't been shopping or cooking for myself, for instance, choosing instead take outs and junk food and so on. I also get anxious easily and have found the work load, plus particular learning needs (not any thing serious, but having difficulty hand writing and concentrating in lectures etc.)

I guess over the last 5 months though, a lot of things have changed. I started going out with a lovely guy last December, and we're still together. At this point, I think, my attitude did begin to change. Particular my comfort eating - even though I've not really lost weight, but when me and my boyfriend were still at uni together and we used to spend like all day with each other (I stayed at his house) he would often be concerned about how little I was eating. I did eat a lot of take outs though. I also think being with him has made me realise I'm not hideous and ugly.

Anyway, I took some time out from uni to resit my second year in March, and have spent a lot of time feeling bored and sorry for myself. I know realise this would have been the perfect time to try a VLCD (which is my intended plan once I have more money). Some bad things have happened - I took the option of an abortion for a pregnancy in July - but generally it's made me see my life for what it is. It was going for the abortion that made me realise just how big I was (although weight had already been a factor) - I believe, and as I have no scales of my own, that I am around 18 stone 3 pounds. I need to change myself, and that is by properly confronting the issues I have with myself, particularly my body. I had my last bottle of coke (or any high calorie fizzy drink) today. No more sugar in my tea, and I want to switch to skimmed milk regardless of whether I end up on Slim and Save (which is most likely, since I weighed all my options up).

Right now though, I want to try and get out for a walk more. I want to try 4 miles, at least every other day, over the next week or so and see how I get on. It's not actually the exercise that is worrying me - I love walking and listening to music - but the fact that my home town isn't a place I like, and fear of running into people scares me from doing outside exercise, which is about the only thing I can do.

I feel like I've winged a lot. I don't mean to winge, but I guess that's why diaries are great, eh?

Things that are important:

I, as said, weigh around 18 stone, 3 pounds. Or around 115.7kg. Or 42 bricks.
I am 5"10.
I am female.
I am 20 years old.
I like people for who they are, and not what they look like. Sadly, I don't apply this rule to myself most of the time

I hope by using MiniMins more and talking to some of you guys, I'll keep up the inspiration to avoid the junk and fodder and keep at whatever's working to tone up and lose the inches

x

 

[RedRevolver]

I might start Slim Fast again. I tried it some time ago, when I was a bit younger. I didn't even know shakers existed, so I'll probably purchase one of them to help. It'll help me, I think, get into the swing of things when I go on a VLCD in October.

 

[RedRevolver]

Time to start now...will be going down to Boots/Savacentre to get myself some Slim Fast. Does any one remember that annoying Slim Fast advert from a couple of years ago? Hehe.

Slipped last night, but that should change once I stop sleeping late at night.

 

[RedRevolver]

I bought some scales today. EKS mechanical scales, if anyone's familiar...dunno if they're a bit funny or what, but I'm guessing they're correct. It's not a completely off, just makes me sad that I've apparently put about a stone on since I was last weighed - and considering the increase in my activity (climbing hills and such, not all the time, but MORE OFTEN walk about a mile/two miles every day) and eating better, because I've been staying with my boyfriend and his parents for the past 6/7 weeks, and generally ate a very balanced diet.

I think this shows how bad my 'sugar' addiction is.

Oh well, going to do some squats/jumping jacks/press ups/sit ups/bicep curls etc. soon. Might go on my exercise bike as well for half an hour...trying to introduce exercise more slowly, particularly as I'm only trying to get used to incorporating it rather than obsess...and surely obsessions work better when you're not trying to force yourself to be obsessed, and have naturally become...obsessed?

 

[RedRevolver]

Jump Rope Circuit Workout - Challenge Your Body with this cardio/strength Jumpe Rope Circuit - I'm going to try this out at some point, I like the incorporation of the good ol' faithful jump rope. Will go on a bit of a walk tomorrow I've decided, need to find out my prescription from my optician anyway. I've seen some lovely retro glasses that I want to buy - I've only got one pair of glasses, and I've had these since I was just turned 17 (and I've just turned 20)!

Same with shoes though. I need to fill out my wardrobe a bit - might not be worth it until I've lost a bit of blubber though!

 

[RedRevolver]

May not do any exercise tonight, but do have one shake left. If I do no home exercise this evening, I'll definitely go for that walk tomorrow.

It's amazing how my positive energy over the past few days has amassed, and created a renewed sense of will power and drive in me, not just to lose weight, but a whole host of other achievements and goals, like getting a first in my second year, and learning the guitar, and when I've lost a bit more weight, I'm hopefully going to start training in Parkour with my boyfriend.

I'm really happy. Long may this continue.

 

[tweekedgirl]

Hiya RedRevoler, you're sounding really positive about your weight loss, so I'm sure if you stick at you'll definitely see some good results. x

 

[RedRevolver]

Hehe, thanks my dear Had my last shake just now, and think I might go to bed fairly soon, might watch a film or read a book.

Good first day all in all, minus lack of exercise...oh well, better late than never!

 

[RedRevolver]

Feeling quite unwell this morning. Might have a cup of tea and some water and see if it clears up.

Feel a bit better now. Will be doing some exercise in a bit. Am about to have a breakfast shake, and a little bit of veg.

Yazoo!

 

[RedRevolver]

Had a big meal, not sure how many calories it was. Did some exercise...not much, but it was more ad hoc, and then got hot and sweaty and realised I had no water! Will do more tomorrow. On the plus side...it might not have been long but it was consistent and without breaks. Plus, it did leave my legs a bit wobbly and a bit light afterwards, as well as drawing a sweat! Might not have been too much, but oh well. Might try some (knee) press ups and squats before bed also...

Time to make a cup of tea and relax. Life's too short to have regrets and feel guilty about problems that are, at the end of the day, negligible.

Hope any lurkers are having a good day

 

[RedRevolver]

Argh, can't sleep! Really want to as well. Not very hungry, just bored and a bit tearful. I wish there was stuff to watch! But there seems like there's nothing on, not anything that's my cup of tea. And I've watched every thing else, a lot. It doesn't help that my concentration is virtually non-existent these days. Suppose I could read a book, but again, nothing really that exciting to me... I wish I bore more pleasure from life than I currently do, lol.

But, when I'm slim and healthy I'll be able to do a lot of cool stuff (Parkour, anyone?!) - off to make a nice cup of tea. A cup of tea with milk and sugar contains 31 calories! And I assume that's whole milk and at least one spoon of granulated...so, tea doesn't really contain that much! I can continue to enjoy tea for a long while, huzzah! Well, not when I go on the VLCD, but even then...should still be alright with Slim and Save, with their 150ml milk allowance, and a sweetner.

I get to see my boyfriend in less than a week I'm very happy - and then it'll be 3 weeks until I move back to university Eek!

 

[MissAmy]

Bless you.

I'm heavier than you, and am calorie counting to lose weight.
I'm eating 1700 cals a day and eating more food than before yet losing weight.
Before i was eating really sporadically but bumping my cals up by drinking lots if lucozade and Cola.
Now i make sure i eat three good meals a day, plus snacks.

The reason I'm telling you this, is that slim fast or any food replacement diet wouldn't have worked for me as i needed to deal with my eating issues, fuel my body and give me energy.

I used to get really down, and depressed. Eating well has really helped that.

 

[RedRevolver]

Please don't take this the wrong way, because I'm sure it wasn't meant like that, but 'bless you' followed by that post is extremely patronising; I'm not stupid, I don't need to be spoken down to. You've also not really considered the fact that I have tried to 'calorie count' but abstinence is easier when I'm around a lot of people who eat badly (i.e. my family and my friends). I know it's not the worst thing in the world, but I can feel the effect the weight's had on my knees, and so on. I've also tried Slim Fast in the past, and I definitely stuck to it longer than I've stuck to eating healthily.

Anyway, whilst that may be true for you, I do think everyone's different...my problem has always been low confidence and telling myself that I can't do things. Seriously. Even with fairly harmless stuff, like playing games - I'll give up after five minutes for feeling stupid and uncoordinated. I don't want to do a VLCD or Slim Fast forever, or really as long as a few people on here (definitely not as long as 9 months), however, I do feel my frame not only makes exercise difficult but highly uncomfortable, in a way that makes me self-conscious (mainly my big boobs). I want to be on this for the next few months. Ideally, I'd like to come off of any very low calorie diet and maintain my portion control from that. Also, to 'eat healthily' every week on a student loan isn't easy, and I still have a busy week and am not used to cooking regularly for myself - I have literally spent the last two years on take-outs and pot noodle type things (although in the last 9 months whilst I've been with my boyfriend, my diet has improved a bit).

In short, calorie counting - and portion control - is something I'm obviously going to do. I don't think 'wahey, the weight will be off and then I can return to my old eating habits'. I also don't think you appreciate how low my self-confidence is (not just feeling sad and depressed because I've not been eating well, but that I can't interact with people because I think all they see is a big fat splodge - I put myself down a lot, and it's had a massive impact on me, particularly with having to intercalate).

So, yeah, sorry. I know you're not trying to be unhelpful, but I don't think VLCDs are bad and I think there are some people on this forum that would say that being on one helped them a lot - even if it was losing initial weight and boosting confidence.

 

[MissAmy]

Sorry. Didn't really explain myself.
I sorta meant bless you as i understand 100% where you are coming from.

Your words actually made me quite emotional.

Reading your thread was exactly looking like reading what I'd have written ten years ago.

I finished uni at about 17stone. And tried with a VLCD. Which worked and i lost weight. For a bit.
I then put it all back on again.
And more.
I tried food replacement diets. Which worked initially but aren't sustainable.

I had the same confidence isses and I passed up so many opportunities because of being to shy to go for it.

This summer at 20stone 13lb i realised that i wasted my twenties through being fat, and spending the whole time being guilty over my food.
Even if i can lose weight now i can never get that time back (and now i'm old lol)

Im obviously a similar build. I have hcup boobs so running is out the picture. Instead i strap on two sports bras and get the Wii Fit out. Gentle enough on my knees and no one can see how red and uncoordinated i am

Sorry for appearing patronising.

And i didn't say VLCD were bad, and i know people have lost weight on them. And they are a good way of cutting down what you eat and shrinking you stomach.
Its just you said you don't really eat that much, meaning you probably hardly eat for most of the week and then pack a lot of cals in in a short space of time (binge). They don't helo with that.

 

[RedRevolver]

Sorry Amy I was being overly sensitive.

I really sympathise with exercise, although I am hoping I'll lose my breasts as I lose weight (which, sadly, as I'm a lot like my sister I imagine I won't )

I think I'll just use this month to see how it goes, and if I feel that the way I've been doing slim fast (1 - 2 shakes a day, vegetables and protein) does work over the next month then I may not bother with a VLCD - I definitely think my activity needs to be increased dramatically as, like you said, I don't eat THAT much, and because of that I have a habit to binge eat (and also am quite lazy and indecisive so I like 'quick' things - I do really want to get out of the habit of this also).

Thank you for your comments I'm sorry again for taking it the wrong way. x

 

[RedRevolver]

Had a bit of a wobbly day, am feeling very down and have started my period which has been unusually uncomfortable due to the three or so I've missed. Tried to have a trip out with my parents to the National Trust, which has ended in me wishing to have my membership cancelled - so you can tell how that went! It makes me even sadder due to the fact that I am a History student, and subsequently I love a lot of their sites...

Going to have something to eat soon, as I've felt too sick to eat today. Am thinking of going off of the Pill and back onto my anti-depressants as I've been getting so irritable and it's not like me I can get highly-strung, but I don't take it out on people - I don't like feeling this way.

Going to get some exercise in tomorrow! And eat a bit more, because it can't be doing me much good...

 

[happy27]

Hey hun I have enjoyed your diary, keep up the good work I'm sure you will see a good loss!! When do you weigh in?

I have tried every diet going feel like my whole life I've been on diet after diet and have wasted my 20's the latest one was the Cambridge diet which I lost 2 stone quickly but then fell pregnant so now my baby is 4 weeks I'm trying diets again!!
I can't do Cambridge again until my baby is 3 months old!! So have been calorie counting and have lost 7lbs in my first week but have also been looking at slim and save, the flavours look nicer than Cambridge!

Hope your feeling happier tomorro hun it's a new day and all that and im looking forward to following your diary

Xx

 

[RedRevolver]

I've not been posting for a while, due to adjusting back to university life. However, today I ordered two weeks of Slim and Save to see how it will go. I don't have much money at all at the moment, so a bit worried if I fail. But I guess that's just even more motivation to do well! If I'm not enjoying it after two weeks, I'll stop and just eat well (the local market is quite cheap and good).

Exercise wise, I've not done anything, but will start walking more. I need ideas of where to walk to though!

Hopefully another update soon, going to weigh myself now and see how much I currently weigh.

 

[RedRevolver]

I am back!

So, after having a horrendous time of it recently - a big falling out with friends from university - I am feeling better. So much so, because yesterday I randomly weighed myself, and found I had reached the healthier end of 17st (as in, 17st exactly )

I'm not quite sure the last time I was in the 16 stones, but it's definitely an improvement upon August when, needing to check my weight medically, I weighed in at 18 stone 4. I've done little to actually accomplish this mind, apart from avoiding snacks where I can help it, and not eating unless genuinely hungry!

This has given me a massive confidence boost. Plus, due to me being back home, unemployed (probably soon to become one of those horrible benefits cheats ) I am very much interested in gaining some friends along the way

I don't know if I will stick with Slim and Save, or any product replacement diet. Personally, and as someone suggested earlier in this thread (sorry that I've forgotten your username, it's been a while, and this is rather an impromptu post!), I think I need to control what I actually eat rather than portion sizes. I think I have been making healthier choices recently and that's clearly paying off. When I do start incorporating some exercise into it, I'll hopefully be doing even better.

I just hope job searching doesn't get me down and I end up comfort eating again

 

[RedRevolver]

Yay! My trainers came today - and I'm very pleased with the fit and cost! They aren't a big brand, and they'll probably fall about - but they'll do the job for walking/gentle jogging whilst I get my fitness up.

Am going to go on my first proper walk in a while tomorrow. So excited!