BeviSiwel: 30 is the new 20

[BeviSiwel]

Hello all! Once upon a time I did Lipotrim. Still pretty much a teenager, I had some success but not the discipline or the funds to truly pull it off.
I'm turning 24 in a few weeks, and around this time was when I came off the diet 5 years ago.

So here I am again, more determined, more stable. My long term goal, as the title suggests is to look absolutely stunning by my 30th with a full lifestyle change. Lipotrim being step 1.

I'm currently on day 9. Yesterday I had a blip as I had a prearranged dinner date with my bestie at a Chinese restaurant. To do damage control, I had my breakfast shake. Lunch and dinner shakes were then replaced with low carbs authentic Chinese food washed down with Chinese green tea. We took about 2 and a half hours to eat our food as I chewed slowly and ate moderately. It already felt weird to feel the separation of mind hunger and tummy hunger. For the rest of the afternoon and into the evening, I drank only green tea.

This morning I was woken by the calls of nature, and returned several times throughout the morning. Like everything decided to flush out at once. (especially as having movements yesterday before food was already achieved) this comforted me a bit.

The thing that truly comforts me is that the hunger pains from week 1 haven't reemerged, I was contented with the shakes today and my cravings have been kinder.

I haven't exercised the last 3 days due to staying with Bestie, but I will be back on that horse tomorrow

Updates to come throughout the diet. Thanks for reading!

 

[BeviSiwel]

I'm on day 11 now and there isn't much new to report. I returned home from my friend's house yesterday evening and I've been at work all day today. Before work this morning I did my exercise DVD again and was pleased to see that it was no harder than it was before I went away.

The best thing about those 10 minute blast workouts is that you can try your hardest and push yourself and by the time you really want to quit, it's all ready over.

Unfortunately the cravings came back with vengeance the last two days. I have taken to keeping a diary on my computer documenting all of my cravings on a day-by-day basis. It serves to show me repeat offenders, as well as show me how my cravings change over time. So far my cravings diary has shown me that Soreen has been my top craving, showing up 5 days out of 11. Chicken Chow mein is in 2nd place showing up 3 days out of 11. Prawns and Nutella take joint 3rd place by showing up 2 days out of 11. Everything else is a unique food/meal for any given day.

Day 3 presented itself with the most cravings coming in at a massive 12* individual items that I had strong feelings for. Whereas day 8 presented itself with the least at 1. (however Day 9 had absolutely no cravings, I am not counting this data as I cheated)


I've purposefully not posted all of my cravings as I know hearing about food is not helpful for some people. But if it works for you, I would definitely recommend keeping track of the way your cravings for food changes over time!

 

[BeviSiwel]

Day 12 has been particularly difficult today. I was called into work early this morning despite staying late last night and it set the tone of the day really. I tried to work out, but felt completely demoralized. Even for those 10 minute workout segments. After 6 minutes I sat up and turned it off, intending to finish it later on in the day.

Well that wasn't to happen, my mum decided that mothers day was the day to paint all of the white surfaces in the house, and my four year old sister decided today was the day she was going to touch every white surface in the house. While mum was dealing with that, I was downstairs with my other sister caring for her sick gerbil. The poor thing had been unwell for quite a while now and she looked particularly bad today, an she smelled even worse. When my sister turned her over, we found out why. She was completely gunked up down there and it took several cottonbuds and a very patient gerbil before she was all cleaned up. Hopefully the little furry face will recover now.


You would have thought that this experience would put me off of food. But my cravings have been completely out of control today. The only saving grace being that I didn't act on any of them and have been 100% today.
As a lover of international cuisine, todays cravings played right into that for the most part today. All I can say is I can't wait for the German Market to return come christmas!


EDIT: I swore to myself I wasn't going to dive into my previous posts that I made on this website but curiosity got the better of me. I really do need to apologise. For whatever reason I seemed to be a really angry individual 5 years ago. I didn't realise it at the time but the people I was surrounding myself with-including certain family members- were toxic and not conducive to the weight loss environment, or the support that I needed to become a well rounded individual.


I'd like to think I've changed as a person now. I am happier, stronger and fuelled by love, rather than anger.

 

[BeviSiwel]

Day 13 and looking forward to weigh in tomorrow. Feels like an age since that dinner with my Bestie. And while I haven't yet got back to the exercise DVD, I am feeling a lot brighter. I'm currently at work on a break until my second shift begins.

I work at Asda right now and Monday's are a split shift for me over two departments. I am trained on the hotplate to make pancakes, and I also datecheck and reduce food later on in the day.
While I usually only work the evenings, the overtime on the bakery has only been a blessing. Even on the diet.

Just the smell of the items is enough to fix my cravings for a while. Sometimes I feel guilty that I've cheated, until I remember: Actually, I haven't!
It makes sense when people who work in the food industry say that their restaurants food doesn't pique their interest any more. I can say the same for the baked goods here too. The smells of the bakery more than sort my cravings for any pastry related goods.

As for other cravings, I know I've had some. But I can't for the life of me remember what they were now. I'll have to think when I get home tonight!

 

[BeviSiwel]

Weigh in day today! Day 14.

I lost 2kg this week and I am so happy! Right now I'm at work (feels like I'm always here ) so I went in this morning before my shift starts. I got a few flapjacks this time to make things easier for me in the break room. They didn't have peanut which is my usual favourite so I'm trying to coconut. Hopefully it will be fine.

Going to be 100% this week. I was hoping that I would have lost some inches off my measurements, but I think that will come after about a month, maybe.

I'm just stoked that the water weight has come off. I'll need to drink more over the next week, as the last week I was desperately lacking fluids due to working.

Onwards and upwards from here

 

[BeviSiwel]

Day 15.

Happy to report that I have had absolutely no cravings what-so-ever today. I also ordered some ketostix from amazon so I can keep track of my ketosis for interests sake. I'm very much looking forward to the coming week, although I'm sort of regretting not getting more chocolate.

The sell-by date really seems to make a difference on the lipotrim's flavour. The ones I had in week 1 were left over from another lady who never turned up to her weigh in and although they were dated for September 2017 they tasted awful!
The ones I have now are dated January 2018 and they taste much, much better! Wish I ordered more chocolate now (that is the flavour that seems to suffer the most with time)

 

[BeviSiwel]

Day 16. And I spoke too soon for yesterdays entry.
Despite being nearly 10pm, I was hit thick and fast with many intense cravings for nothing inparticular, I just had a strong desire to eat that crippled my entire body. All I could manage to do was lay in bed and cry as my tummy rumbled. Thankfully I DID NOT BREAK. I was so worried that I would end up getting up and eating in my sleep, as I have been known to sleep walk before, the thought of going through all this made me even more upset.

But, I think I have the best cat in the world. His name is Big Fat Charlie, he was adopted by my family from an neglectful environment and is the shyest and most timid thing: except with me. He quickly warmed up to me and we have been almost inseparable since.

Anyway, this big ginger bugger sensed that I was upset and jumped up on me, walked up my body to look at my face (I think he understands basic human facial expressions, and wet face=very sad) so he came and he sat himself down right on my chest, staring at me and slowly blinking ("I love you" in cat language) while purring the deepest, loudest purrs he could. The very weight of him winded me a bit, but it was a comforting presence and I managed to fall asleep safe in the knowledge that I couldn't possibly autonomously move while asleep.

This morning I woke up and he was by my feet as per his usual sleeping arrangement. One of the hardest nights I've had so far, and I have my fatty cat to thank for getting me through.

Bonus pic: Me at my heaviest posing on skype with my baby, and then this morning while he slept with me

 

[BeviSiwel]

Still day 16... and I think I am about to have another bad night.. I don't know what's wrong with me but all I can hope for is to just power through it and hope that it passes.

EDIT: technically day 17 but who is counting. I'm being kept awake by my tummy and insomnia has well and truly got me. I have been absolutely 100% since dinner with my bestie a week ago, so perhaps this is my body's way of warning me: never cheat again.

 

[BeviSiwel]

Day 18.

I've not broken but it seems like things are getting harder. Whew.
For a while I wondered what was causing it as there was really no reason for me to be having these intense cravings. I am well in ketosis (my ketostix came: I am second from the darkest, so no issues like acidosis) and I haven't put anything other than the shakes in my mouth since day 9.

I have been drinking lots of green tea (about 2 litres of it a day) which lead my... Ahem... Plumbing... To be regular.

And now I think I've got to the route of it. I think I have a tummy bug of all things. My sister had it yesterday and we've been in close proximity.
I'm suffering with sciatica in my left thigh right now and she had been helping me try to massage feeling back into it.

I reckon these intense cravings is because my body knows it is sick and wants more than ketones to fight it off. Nope. Not gonna work.

On a positive note, I am starting to see physical changes in my body. My waist has come back and my face looks thinner. Hurrah!

 

[BeviSiwel]

Day 19. Again I am struggling and I don't know why

For all the discipline needed to stick to the diet, it still hasn't broken the mentality in my head. I found myself thinking today "I can't wait to come off this diet so I can eat chocolate"

And then I thought, 'that is not the mentality to have'. I should be trying to strive for the whole lifestyle change, and I shouldn't be looking to gorge on chocolate even after I lose the weight.

Today I did a naughty thing- even if it wasn't strictly cheating. Now- I absolutely LOVE easter. And it's easy to see why, cheap easter eggs are almost everywhere if you looked hard enough for them! and I felt sad because I realised I'm not going to be able to participate while I'm on the diet. So I bought several easter eggs and shoved them in the freezer. Being frozen I wont be tempted to eat them during the diet.

I still feel like I've done bad, because it's like I'm planning to fail.

At the end of the day, I can lose a stone, two stone- five or six. But unless I actually change how I think and feel about food, the weight is going to keep coming back and coming back. 5 years it took for the weight to creep back on, but creep back on it did.

For the sake of total honesty, I'm going to begin posting my cravings within this thread. (But also for the sake of others, just in case, I'll white it out so it doesn't trigger anyone,and people aren't forced to see it if they don't want to) I'm hoping this will be soul soothing for me to just be completely honest.


16th March- Day 2


Avocados


Lamb meat


Garlic Bread


Mashed potatos


Sweet Pickle


17th March- Day 3


Kentucky fried beef


Southern fried chicken burger w/ onions, cheese and trimmings


Eggs- SCrambled, Benedict, poachedd, devilled


Chicken breast, hunters sauce, mozzarella cheese


French Tiger Stick (w/ butter and boursin)


Fillet of salmon


Noodles- chow mein


Raisin & cinnamon Toastie


Soreen


Dr Pepper Gammon


Char Sui pork


Cream crackers & cream cheese


18th March- Day 4


Prawns (in every way available to eat them)


Chip shop chips


Caesar Salad


19th March-Day 5


Donner kebab meat & Chips w/ garlic sauce


Cadbury creme egg


Nutrigrain cherry


Soreen


Various Sauces (Hollandaise, cheese sauce, white sauce)


Mash potato and sausages


Cake





20th March -Day 6


Soreen


Peanut Butter


Chow mein


Broccoli





21st March- Day 7. THis weeks Weight Loss: -4kg Total Weight Loss: -4kg


Soreen (lots was reduced at work this evening)


Egg Noodles


prawn cocktail


Minced beef (0 carbs)





22nd March- day 8


Chow mein. Chicken.


23rd March- day 9. CHEAT


No cravings


24th March- day 10


Soreen


nachos & CHEESE


nutellaaaah





25th March- day 11


Chicken Tikka Masala


Chips


Puff pastry & Nutella


cauliflower cheese





26th March- day 12


Puff pastry


foccacia


Bratwurst with grilled onions and blue cheese mayo


Burritos


Poutine


Tacos


Coleslaw


Cheeseburger


Reindeer burger


Chicken Ballotine





27th March- day 13


Cheese


Brie


Fish and chips


McDonalds


Steak and Gravy pie (or slice)


Crunchwrap (spiced ground beef in flour tortilla with inner tostada shell, sourcream, lettuce, nacho cheese, and **** tonnes of cheese. andd then pan friedd)


KFC





28th March- day 14 This week's Weight Loss: -2kg Total Weight Loss: -6kg


Butter chicken curry


Fajitas


Cake


29th March- day 15


BBQ sticky Ribs





30th March- day 16


Buttered Toast


Beef Stew


Cheesecake


Chow mein


Soreen





31st March- day 17


Chocolate


Dominos


Peanut butter cups


Chocolate chip cookie dough half baked





1st April- day 18


Fish shop chips


Cheese


Pasta


pizzahut


Bolognaise


Bratwurst




As can be seen.. it seems my cravings are getting more and more unhealthy. I'm not sure if that's because of how time is moving along, or if it's because of my family eating around me. I wouldn't be able to say. All I can say is that aside from the days labelled that I cheated, I've been 100%.

When I did this last time, I cheated A LOT, and I still lost around the same amount of weight in the same amount of time. That's not to say I'm thinking "F*** it", but just a worrying observation. Hopefully the losses will pick up soon

 

[BeviSiwel]

Day 21. Weigh in day!
Despite having to go to court today, I managed to make it to the pharmacy in time to weigh in. However the results were a little disappointing, but I put it down to being full of liquids (I usually go first thing in the morning before shakes, but I've already had two today with plenty of water)

-1kg this week

So next week I'm expecting a better result.

Regardless, I'm now down to 15st 13lb and I am just overjoyed!

 

[tobehappyme]

Your doing very well and you should be proud of yourself x

 

[tobehappyme]

Day 19. Again I am struggling and I don't know why

For all the discipline needed to stick to the diet, it still hasn't broken the mentality in my head. I found myself thinking today "I can't wait to come off this diet so I can eat chocolate"

And then I thought, 'that is not the mentality to have'. I should be trying to strive for the whole lifestyle change, and I shouldn't be looking to gorge on chocolate even after I lose the weight.

Today I did a naughty thing- even if it wasn't strictly cheating. Now- I absolutely LOVE easter. And it's easy to see why, cheap easter eggs are almost everywhere if you looked hard enough for them! and I felt sad because I realised I'm not going to be able to participate while I'm on the diet. So I bought several easter eggs and shoved them in the freezer. Being frozen I wont be tempted to eat them during the diet.

Just wanted to say, I made myself a chocolate box full of the stuff whilst on lt...I really wish I hadn't cause when I came off, chocolate seemed to be my trigger to just let loose and eat it....not all at once but I wouldn't advise it...can you give the eggs to a member of the family instead? X


I still feel like I've done bad, because it's like I'm planning to fail.

At the end of the day, I can lose a stone, two stone- five or six. But unless I actually change how I think and feel about food, the weight is going to keep coming back and coming back. 5 years it took for the weight to creep back on, but creep back on it did.

For the sake of total honesty, I'm going to begin posting my cravings within this thread. (But also for the sake of others, just in case, I'll white it out so it doesn't trigger anyone,and people aren't forced to see it if they don't want to) I'm hoping this will be soul soothing for me to just be completely honest.


16th March- Day 2


Avocados


Lamb meat


Garlic Bread


Mashed potatos


Sweet Pickle


17th March- Day 3


Kentucky fried beef


Southern fried chicken burger w/ onions, cheese and trimmings


Eggs- SCrambled, Benedict, poachedd, devilled


Chicken breast, hunters sauce, mozzarella cheese


French Tiger Stick (w/ butter and boursin)


Fillet of salmon


Noodles- chow mein


Raisin & cinnamon Toastie


Soreen


Dr Pepper Gammon


Char Sui pork


Cream crackers & cream cheese


18th March- Day 4


Prawns (in every way available to eat them)


Chip shop chips


Caesar Salad


19th March-Day 5


Donner kebab meat & Chips w/ garlic sauce


Cadbury creme egg


Nutrigrain cherry


Soreen


Various Sauces (Hollandaise, cheese sauce, white sauce)


Mash potato and sausages


Cake





20th March -Day 6


Soreen


Peanut Butter


Chow mein


Broccoli





21st March- Day 7. THis weeks Weight Loss: -4kg Total Weight Loss: -4kg


Soreen (lots was reduced at work this evening)


Egg Noodles


prawn cocktail


Minced beef (0 carbs)





22nd March- day 8


Chow mein. Chicken.


23rd March- day 9. CHEAT


No cravings


24th March- day 10


Soreen


nachos & CHEESE


nutellaaaah





25th March- day 11


Chicken Tikka Masala


Chips


Puff pastry & Nutella


cauliflower cheese





26th March- day 12


Puff pastry


foccacia


Bratwurst with grilled onions and blue cheese mayo


Burritos


Poutine


Tacos


Coleslaw


Cheeseburger


Reindeer burger


Chicken Ballotine





27th March- day 13


Cheese


Brie


Fish and chips


McDonalds


Steak and Gravy pie (or slice)


Crunchwrap (spiced ground beef in flour tortilla with inner tostada shell, sourcream, lettuce, nacho cheese, and **** tonnes of cheese. andd then pan friedd)


KFC





28th March- day 14 This week's Weight Loss: -2kg Total Weight Loss: -6kg


Butter chicken curry


Fajitas


Cake


29th March- day 15


BBQ sticky Ribs





30th March- day 16


Buttered Toast


Beef Stew


Cheesecake


Chow mein


Soreen





31st March- day 17


Chocolate


Dominos


Peanut butter cups


Chocolate chip cookie dough half baked





1st April- day 18


Fish shop chips


Cheese


Pasta


pizzahut


Bolognaise


Bratwurst




As can be seen.. it seems my cravings are getting more and more unhealthy. I'm not sure if that's because of how time is moving along, or if it's because of my family eating around me. I wouldn't be able to say. All I can say is that aside from the days labelled that I cheated, I've been 100%.

When I did this last time, I cheated A LOT, and I still lost around the same amount of weight in the same amount of time. That's not to say I'm thinking "F*** it", but just a worrying observation. Hopefully the losses will pick up soon

 

[BeviSiwel]

Your doing very well and you should be proud of yourself x

Thank you sooo much for the support, I really needed to see this today <3

 

[BeviSiwel]

Day 23. On weigh in on day 21, I had only lost 1kg for the week. However the actual value may be skewed due to going later in the day (and, to be honest, the fact that I had a meal earlier that day too )

I had been out all day at court and had forgotten to bring any shakes, so when my mother took us to a restaurant (no, I don't fully know why either) I was presented with the option to eat. I have a lot of trouble with my relationship between stress and eating. As it was a buffet style thing, I chose stewed vegetables and several different kinds of chicken. I felt so bloated and horrible afterwards, I was even sick in the car.
A valuable lesson, despite being a horrible one.

I've had no cravings since that day (at least, nothing quite as spectacular as the cravings I had before then) I can't say for certainty that the relationship between stress and food has been broken, but I've never thrown up after cheating before.

Funnily though, it seems I have remained in ketosis which is a good thing and my midweek curiosity for hopping on the scales shows that I am still losing. A close call, but not one that I would like to repeat again.


The cravings list!


2nd April - day 19


Chocolate


Lasagna


Salmon & Cream cheese parcel


Chicken & chorizo


Roast Chicken (in a sandwich maybe with swiss cheese)





3rd April- day 20


Soreen


Chicken & Broccoli & Cauliflower &Pak Choi (meal)


Rice





4th April- day 21- cheated- This week's Weight Loss: -1kg Total Weight Loss: -7kg


no cravings


5th April- day 22


Cauliflower cheese


6th April- day 23


Vegetable spaghetti/noodles

 

[BeviSiwel]

Day 26.
I've been posting less, but don't take it as a bad sign. I'm over the worst hurdles and I'm back to clear skies now. My cravings have settled right down and I'm beginning to slim back into my size 20s bottoms properly (I have been floating on the upper end of 20 and the lower limits of 22 before I started! Thankfully my top is smaller) As for my shirts though, on that matter, a few of the larger size 16s are beginning to fit me again, which is fantastic! I have never really grown out of size 18s for my top (thank goodness) although being bottom heavy means I have a big fat bum, haha!

So, for my retail therapy I have been shopping for cute tops, a navy top with cold shoulders and floaty bits in a size 16, and a beaaauutifully cut, grey size 18 from Yours (surprisingly small) as well.
Also been going mad with the self care, I've always had self esteem issues so this is just another part of the lifestyle change.

I have been feeling a bit sorry for myself though, I havent been able to pick up the exercise DVD since day 12, and while initially that was from getting disheartened, I have began to have a massive pain in my left thigh. (It has been going numb and cold for YEARS while I was at Uni and I never thought anything of it) But this thing had now started to cause me agony when I sleep, and some days it flares up too. So I went to the doctor about it and I've only got a bluddy trapped nerve. It has been like it for years but I aggravated it by trying to be active and healthy! Grrrr

So I've been given Naproxen and worried my chemists for a bit, but the head honcho knows best and he said that it should be okay so long as I take it with a shake/flapjack and keep myself well lubricated with water.

Bluddy thing only still wakes me up in the middle of the night though. NSAID painkiller my arsecheeks.


Anyway... Cravings list!

7th April- day 24


Peanut butter


8th April- day 25


Stewed steak


Eggs


Garlic





9th April- day 26


Beef (in every single way)


Eggs


Gravy

 

[BeviSiwel]

Day 29.

I've been in complete agony all day with the trapped nerve, it's really drove me mad! Having an early shift in the morning as well made things worse, as all I could smell was the bakery preparing their fresh rolls and hot cross buns.
The shift itself was also very, very stressful and in turn that made me have a lot of cravings today.
I'm not sure why, but I've just been feeling so bloated and horrible lately, it feels like my face has swollen up and everything felt really billowy. I wore the size 22 work trousers today just in case

Funny how I flit between my good and bad days.
Due to the stress, I've found my cravings to be based around bad food today. I'm really glad I've been writing them down as I go, as I can really identify when/why i get certain cravings.
Slowly but surely, the mentality will be broken. Nothing to lose! (except maybe a few more lbs! )

Cravings List!:


10th April- day 27


Toasted Soreen with butter





11th April- day 28


Toasted Soreen with butter, again





12th April- day 29


Slow cooked lamb


Sweet and Sour Pork


Chinese takeout: Chicken chow mein, special fried rice, prawn toast


Enchiladas

 

[BeviSiwel]

Day 33.
The other day I had such an intense craving for eggs (actual eggs, not easter eggs!) that they even managed to follow me into my dream!
The little buggers, I dream't I had tortilla wraps with chicken and fried egg, and for some reason I was adding chocolate cake into them too! As I was eating them and enjoying them, a sudden realization of horror came over me.
"I'm on lipotrim, this is wrong! I shouldn't be eating this"

Not once did I question having chocolate cake in a tortilla wrap with chicken and eggs.

Otherwise I've been having an easier time of things of late, just sort of plodding along. It is nice to see a positive change in my body, and my home scales are reporting me to be under the 15st mark which is nice to see. We'll see what the Pharmacy scales have to say about it on Tuesday.

Cravings List!

13th April- day 30


No cravings of note





14th April- day 31


Cheese string


Eggs! So many eggs!





15th April- day 32


Extra Eggs!


Spaghetti and cheese


Chicken breast


Malt (malteasers, or horlicks)



16th April- day 33


Spaghetti

EGGS


Mozzarella


Soreen


Brazilian meats

 

[BeviSiwel]

Day 34. My egg craving is still very strong. I'm at work and all I can think of is poached eggs, fried eggs and crusty rolls. Definitely going to have to put it on the cravings word document when I get home.

Otherwise been feeling very drained and sluggish today. Almost feel unwell, but it's not quite that severe yet. We'll see how it goes for weigh in tomorrow.

 

[tobehappyme]

think im going to join you if you fancy a mate along the way?! its not my first time probably my fourth or fifth lol but im going through a few medical probs atm and the weights going back on and i need to nip it in the bud as im in pain a lot and being lighter will only be a good thing..medication needs changing i think as one of the contraindications is weight gain and wow is it lol.

anyway, enough rambling...had my first shake and know its going to be hell on wheels for a few days but nothing worthwhile is ever easy is it

h x