charley333
Member
Day 0 -
Hi all, I officially start my weightloss journey as it were tomorrow morning, but I wanted to introduce myself and say a bit about the situation I am in at the moment as I truly believe that this diary will be useful to look back on when I have reached my target - and of course before then too!
1) I am 24 and weigh.... 21 and a half stone :sigh: However, this is at 11:17pm and after a day of eating a lot... A lot of the time I can feel good about myself because of the clothes I wear and the fact that I am 5ft 9 and carry it better than I maybe otherwise would but there is still such a deep insecurity inside for so much of the time that I have decided that I really need to start losing the weight NOW.
2) Another reason I have decided to lose the weight NOW is that I am not currently living with my boyfriend. I'm down south in England for work reasons which means that I am away from our pattern of lazy nah we won't bother cooking, let's have a takeaway mentality, and also away from him which should make it easier. LOL
Don't get me wrong, he is wonderful and would really help support me, but i feel unable to talk to him about my weight issues. There have been occasional drunken chats/arguments with me criticising his smoking for health reasons and him asking why I never mention the fact that I am so overweight. Also, while he knows that I never talk about my weight, he worries about his a lot. He is 40 and is worried about the midlife shift and feels in his words "fat". He is the same height as me and (in my biased opinion) and also to anyone else, nowhere near to "fat". I think that if I was dieting he would completely unwittingly make me feel worse by talking about his body when I feel so insecure about myself.
Another reason to do with him is that he still tells me I'm beautiful, that he fancies me and we still sleep together with me at this weight (I've put on a couple of stone I would say in the last 4 years we've been together) but it doesn't feel right to me... I am so much more insecure about us sleeping together now and much less willing actually, and I want that old life back with him. Being away from him and following this plan while thinking about him will motivate me I am sure and I really want to return to him in Scotland looking and feeling so much better about myself. I really want my sense of self back and an ability to look at a picture of us and be happy with the way I look.
Also, he wants to start a family soon, as do I and there is no way I would get pregnant at the weight and size I am - NO WAY - I want to be fit and healthy and running around after my children feeling like I will be able to do anything with them... That is a really important reason for me losing this weight.
3) This isn't all about the bf - this is also for serious health reasons, my bmi is 44.4 and it should be 21.3... I mean it is pretty serious... My weight should be to be healthy and in "normal" range - 10 - 11 stone... So really I have 10 stone to lose and a mountain to climb.
I am only 24 and I look so much older than that. I can't wear the clothes I want to, I can't run around like a student should - someone mistook me for my half-sister's mum - and she's only 7 years younger than me!!!!! When she moans about not fitting into her size 12 jeans I could scream. One of the things I really want to get out of this is the ability to swap a pair of jeans or a top with my little sister and just be able to go into a normal shop like Topshop and be able to try on ANYTHING there because they will have it in my size - hopefully a size 12-14 eventually. I love clothes and I have my dream wardrobe in my head - I would just love to be able to create it when I have lost all this weight.
Also I am studying law with the Open University and the idea of me graduating and getting work at the size I am feels unrealistic. Unfortunately people make judgements about overweight people and make assumptions about laziness and in some cases just feel turned off by them. It truly sucks but I really do feel like I would be better equipped to get a job, even just for confidence reasons if I was at a healthy weight and felt good about myself.
4) I'll also tell you about my problems with weight - since I was 13, I have had issues with my weight - mainly due to my Mum being too busy to cook proper meals therefore I lived on frozen foods at home, and had breakfast at the McDonald's on the corner near my school. It got worse as I hit the harder teenage years, got depressed about my situation and ate more to try and cope. Since getting to university and cooking proper food, I did drop some weight but it's crept back on due to takeaways and snack eating with my boyfriend - also a huge problem with me is a lack of self discipline, and a thinking of "tomorrow I'll start trying to lose the weight." Plus, when with someone who loves you the way you are, it is much easier to think that it doesn't matter and everything will be ok anyway... and working to lose the weight means facing it and admitting to yourself that you put on that much weight in the first place - something that hasn't been easy for me to do.
5) I should probably also tell you why I have chosen Slim Fast in particular - during the teenage wilderness described above, my Dad and family got concerned about my weight and while down south for the summer, I went on the slimfast plan for a month. I lost a lot of weight and felt great! Then I went back to life in Scotland with my Mum, where I was incredibly unhappy, and put on all the weight I'd lost and more.
Slim Fast is the only plan that has ever worked in terms of helping me to lose weight as a "diet". It eliminates the need to think about food, (which I do a lot) and while it requires willpower, the plan is so easily laid out that it is pretty foolproof and I will feel like I am truly doing something to lose the weight. Also, I am living with my Nan who helped me through the slimfast plan the last time I tried it - man she's a nag, but she really cares and really wants me to lose the weight and wants to help and support me through it - so I know it will work this time!
So - there you have my reasons for wanting to lose the weight and wanting to drop from a size 22 to a size 12 - I mean who wouldn't? My big goals are my birthday at the end of March in 2 months, my anniversary with my bf in the middle of May in 4 months and Glastonbury at the end of June in 5 months. I would love to have lost a few stone at least by then and feel more comfortable wearing a shorter skirt or shorts for the summer festival! From then on, it's a sleigh ride through to Christmas and to be in a size 16 on Christmas day would be incredible for me!!
I am hopeful that updating daily on here will really help keep me focused and that with your support I can keep going and get to where I want to be - a happier, healthier me!!! I have 6 cafe latte, 6 strawberry and a vanilla shake in the house along with a pack of the tortilla chip snacks which should see me through for nearly a week, and a lot of weight watchers ready meals for the evening. I am raring to go and will tell y'all the results of my initial weigh in tomorrow morning before any food has been consumed!
Cheers all, and have a great night!
C
Hi all, I officially start my weightloss journey as it were tomorrow morning, but I wanted to introduce myself and say a bit about the situation I am in at the moment as I truly believe that this diary will be useful to look back on when I have reached my target - and of course before then too!
1) I am 24 and weigh.... 21 and a half stone :sigh: However, this is at 11:17pm and after a day of eating a lot... A lot of the time I can feel good about myself because of the clothes I wear and the fact that I am 5ft 9 and carry it better than I maybe otherwise would but there is still such a deep insecurity inside for so much of the time that I have decided that I really need to start losing the weight NOW.
2) Another reason I have decided to lose the weight NOW is that I am not currently living with my boyfriend. I'm down south in England for work reasons which means that I am away from our pattern of lazy nah we won't bother cooking, let's have a takeaway mentality, and also away from him which should make it easier. LOL
Don't get me wrong, he is wonderful and would really help support me, but i feel unable to talk to him about my weight issues. There have been occasional drunken chats/arguments with me criticising his smoking for health reasons and him asking why I never mention the fact that I am so overweight. Also, while he knows that I never talk about my weight, he worries about his a lot. He is 40 and is worried about the midlife shift and feels in his words "fat". He is the same height as me and (in my biased opinion) and also to anyone else, nowhere near to "fat". I think that if I was dieting he would completely unwittingly make me feel worse by talking about his body when I feel so insecure about myself.
Another reason to do with him is that he still tells me I'm beautiful, that he fancies me and we still sleep together with me at this weight (I've put on a couple of stone I would say in the last 4 years we've been together) but it doesn't feel right to me... I am so much more insecure about us sleeping together now and much less willing actually, and I want that old life back with him. Being away from him and following this plan while thinking about him will motivate me I am sure and I really want to return to him in Scotland looking and feeling so much better about myself. I really want my sense of self back and an ability to look at a picture of us and be happy with the way I look.
Also, he wants to start a family soon, as do I and there is no way I would get pregnant at the weight and size I am - NO WAY - I want to be fit and healthy and running around after my children feeling like I will be able to do anything with them... That is a really important reason for me losing this weight.
3) This isn't all about the bf - this is also for serious health reasons, my bmi is 44.4 and it should be 21.3... I mean it is pretty serious... My weight should be to be healthy and in "normal" range - 10 - 11 stone... So really I have 10 stone to lose and a mountain to climb.
I am only 24 and I look so much older than that. I can't wear the clothes I want to, I can't run around like a student should - someone mistook me for my half-sister's mum - and she's only 7 years younger than me!!!!! When she moans about not fitting into her size 12 jeans I could scream. One of the things I really want to get out of this is the ability to swap a pair of jeans or a top with my little sister
and just be able to go into a normal shop like Topshop and be able to try on ANYTHING there because they will have it in my size - hopefully a size 12-14 eventually. I love clothes and I have my dream wardrobe in my head - I would just love to be able to create it when I have lost all this weight. Also I am studying law with the Open University and the idea of me graduating and getting work at the size I am feels unrealistic. Unfortunately people make judgements about overweight people and make assumptions about laziness and in some cases just feel turned off by them. It truly sucks but I really do feel like I would be better equipped to get a job, even just for confidence reasons if I was at a healthy weight and felt good about myself.
4) I'll also tell you about my problems with weight - since I was 13, I have had issues with my weight - mainly due to my Mum being too busy to cook proper meals therefore I lived on frozen foods at home, and had breakfast at the McDonald's on the corner near my school. It got worse as I hit the harder teenage years, got depressed about my situation and ate more to try and cope. Since getting to university and cooking proper food, I did drop some weight but it's crept back on due to takeaways and snack eating with my boyfriend - also a huge problem with me is a lack of self discipline, and a thinking of "tomorrow I'll start trying to lose the weight." Plus, when with someone who loves you the way you are, it is much easier to think that it doesn't matter and everything will be ok anyway... and working to lose the weight means facing it and admitting to yourself that you put on that much weight in the first place - something that hasn't been easy for me to do.
5) I should probably also tell you why I have chosen Slim Fast in particular - during the teenage wilderness described above, my Dad and family got concerned about my weight and while down south for the summer, I went on the slimfast plan for a month. I lost a lot of weight and felt great! Then I went back to life in Scotland with my Mum, where I was incredibly unhappy, and put on all the weight I'd lost and more.
Slim Fast is the only plan that has ever worked in terms of helping me to lose weight as a "diet". It eliminates the need to think about food, (which I do a lot) and while it requires willpower, the plan is so easily laid out that it is pretty foolproof and I will feel like I am truly doing something to lose the weight. Also, I am living with my Nan who helped me through the slimfast plan the last time I tried it - man she's a nag, but she really cares and really wants me to lose the weight and wants to help and support me through it - so I know it will work this time!
So - there you have my reasons for wanting to lose the weight and wanting to drop from a size 22 to a size 12 - I mean who wouldn't? My big goals are my birthday at the end of March in 2 months, my anniversary with my bf in the middle of May in 4 months and Glastonbury at the end of June in 5 months. I would love to have lost a few stone at least by then and feel more comfortable wearing a shorter skirt or shorts for the summer festival! From then on, it's a sleigh ride through to Christmas and to be in a size 16 on Christmas day would be incredible for me!!
I am hopeful that updating daily on here will really help keep me focused and that with your support I can keep going and get to where I want to be - a happier, healthier me!!!
I have 6 cafe latte, 6 strawberry and a vanilla shake in the house along with a pack of the tortilla chip snacks which should see me through for nearly a week, and a lot of weight watchers ready meals for the evening. I am raring to go and will tell y'all the results of my initial weigh in tomorrow morning before any food has been consumed! Cheers all, and have a great night!
C
