CYANIDE

[CW Consultant]

Pinched from another forum:

Tiffany Taylor from St. Louis walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" Tiffany then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy. I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license; they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!"

Tiffany reached into her handbag and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed... with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

 

[MsJMC]

Rude Joke
In a restaurant, a gentleman asks a waiter to take a bottle of wine over to an attractive woman whos dining alone . The woman regards the wine coolly for a second, then sends a note to the man, which says: For me to accept this bottle of wine, you must have a Mercedes in your garage, 1 million in the bank and seven inches in your pants. The man composes a note in return, saying: I have a Ferrari, a BMW, a mercedes and a porsche Turbo in my garage. There is over 20 million in my bank account. But-not even for a woman as beautiful as you-would I cut off three inches. please send the bottle back .

 

[MsJMC]

A wife asks her husband where he wants to go on holiday this year. somewhere i've never been before he says , so wife replies: How about the kitchen ?

What did one saggy boob say to the other? we'll have to get some support, or people will think we're nuts!

Whats the difference between a penis and some chocolates ? chocolate is still satisfying after its gone soft.

ohhhhhhh ouch lol

 

[Allan G]

A wife asks her husband where he wants to go on holiday this year. somewhere i've never been before he says , so wife replies: How about the kitchen ?

What did one saggy boob say to the other? we'll have to get some support, or people will think we're nuts!

Whats the difference between a penis and some chocolates ? chocolate is still satisfying after its gone soft.

ohhhhhhh ouch lol

Is that a dig at us men, why do you think vibrators were invented

 

[MsJMC]

Vibrators were invented ....To make a girl smile once in a while lol! Now you guys are always cooking something up, aren't you lol

 

[Allan G]

Vibrators were invented ....To make a girl smile once in a while lol! Now you guys are always cooking something up, aren't you lol

yeh but it wont give you a hug afterwards

 

[MsJMC]

I'm lauging now Allan , but it won't give me problems either , i'll just say ok back in the box now , lol ok lets keep it sane ok lol

 

[Allan G]

I'm lauging now Allan , but it won't give me problems either , i'll just say ok back in the box now , lol ok lets keep it sane ok lol

Ok you dont have to be sane to be on this site, ther are some right nutters on here, too many to mention, myself included

 

[Russiandoll]

Is that a dig at us men, why do you think vibrators were invented

To mix CD shakes??

 

[MsJMC]

Allan , but are you an utter nutter . You do have to have a little humour on here and to break away from dieting Talk sometimes ... so thats why I thought i'd come and add some Jokes , i'll do some more later ... sorry not got no clean ones i'm clean out of them Anyway where are you now Allan at work ?

 

[CW Consultant]

To mix CD shakes??

Of course what else

 

[MsJMC]

Hey i like it to mix CD shakes i'm Laughing lol

 

[MsJMC]

A man sees his grandpa sitting outside wearing only a shirt, so he shouts , Grandpa, what on earth are you doing ? Your willy is on display for everyone to see ! The old man replies: last week I sat out here with no scarf on and i got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea .

 

[MsJMC]

ok its time for another

A woman is cleaning the public toilets and finds a drawing of a penis on the wall. So she rubs it off .
But next day, theres a larger penis, so she rubs it off too. On the third day, theres another drawing of a penis, this one takes up most of the wall. underneath is written: Don't you know, the more you rub , the bigger it grows ?

 

[MsJMC]

Do you know why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G and H are used to define bra sizes ?

The letter stands for....
A-Almost boobs
B- Barely there
C-Can't complain
D-Dang!
DD-Double Dang!
E-Enormous
F-Fake
G-Get a reduction
H-Help! I've fallen over and can't get up...