Bethuk1
Full Member
Okay, so where to start….I started my "Cambridge Diet (CD) journey) in early 2011 knowing that I had just 3 months to get myself down to at least my original weight after leaving work in Sept 2010 to have my first child. I had that huge motivation of the first day back to work and having everyone wondering if I'd managed to shift those pounds I'd spent 9 months gaining with a constant supply of hugely fattening treats that I deserved simply for being pregnant!.
Now my original weight was still quite a hefty 15 stone which for someone who's 5.4ft is a heavy load to carry and didn't I know it! I spent so many days out crying simply because my back just couldn't hold out anymore, it was so embarrassing!
Anyway, I did make it back to work lighter, at just a smidgen over 13 stone!!. Although I had the heartache of leaving my 6 month old son at home I had the balance of everyone just in awe of my transformation since they'd last saw me, this made me feel on top of the world. There is a girl who I work with who always boasts about her latest "diet" and how amazingly she's doing although she never seems to loose any weight. I would watch her gorge on chocolate/crisps and cakes throughout the day and almost feel repulsed that she could eat all that rubbish, I felt so superior because I could refuse it all. I would even test it by making cakes for all my colleagues and not even tasting a crumb!
and now?
I can't even find that person anymore, that strong unwavering woman that made me turn down everything apart from water and my shakes. Flash me a bar of chocolate or a cake and I'm all yours.
I fight with myself daily, the devil on my shoulder tells me that I don't need to go on such a restrictive diet, that I can do just as well by just eating a healthy balanced diet and exercising…or that it doesn't really matter if I eat all this rubbish because I can just go back on the Cambridge Diet Monday and fix it all.
I have been trapped in a 3 month "It's okay, I'll just start back on CD after this {insert fatty food}" but my attempts have been appalling and never lasted much past 4pm.
I really can't do this to myself anymore, being fat is suffocating every aspect of me.
I won't mind if it's just me whinging on this thread, I just need to get all this nonsense out of my head!
I've been back in touch with my CDC and I hoping to restart OFFICIALLY in a week (once I've got through all my backlog of shakes I built up from earlier in the year!!)
Here's to finally getting down to 10 stone!!!
B
Now my original weight was still quite a hefty 15 stone which for someone who's 5.4ft is a heavy load to carry and didn't I know it! I spent so many days out crying simply because my back just couldn't hold out anymore, it was so embarrassing!
Anyway, I did make it back to work lighter, at just a smidgen over 13 stone!!. Although I had the heartache of leaving my 6 month old son at home I had the balance of everyone just in awe of my transformation since they'd last saw me, this made me feel on top of the world. There is a girl who I work with who always boasts about her latest "diet" and how amazingly she's doing although she never seems to loose any weight. I would watch her gorge on chocolate/crisps and cakes throughout the day and almost feel repulsed that she could eat all that rubbish, I felt so superior because I could refuse it all. I would even test it by making cakes for all my colleagues and not even tasting a crumb!
and now?
I can't even find that person anymore, that strong unwavering woman that made me turn down everything apart from water and my shakes. Flash me a bar of chocolate or a cake and I'm all yours.
I fight with myself daily, the devil on my shoulder tells me that I don't need to go on such a restrictive diet, that I can do just as well by just eating a healthy balanced diet and exercising…or that it doesn't really matter if I eat all this rubbish because I can just go back on the Cambridge Diet Monday and fix it all.
I have been trapped in a 3 month "It's okay, I'll just start back on CD after this {insert fatty food}" but my attempts have been appalling and never lasted much past 4pm.
I really can't do this to myself anymore, being fat is suffocating every aspect of me.
I won't mind if it's just me whinging on this thread, I just need to get all this nonsense out of my head!
I've been back in touch with my CDC and I hoping to restart OFFICIALLY in a week (once I've got through all my backlog of shakes I built up from earlier in the year!!)
Here's to finally getting down to 10 stone!!!
B