Em's weightloss diary.

[Embo78]

Tuesday 19th January 2010
dear diary!
Here I go again! Can't even count the amount of diets I've been on over the last 8 yrs. Wouldn't even try there's that many!!
So what's different this time??
For one, and the most serious, I actually feel so so low some days, I actually want to end my life, I know in my heart that I wouldn't, I just wouldn't put my beautiful children through such a terrible thing, but just the thoughts frighten me so much.
Another reason is because I really need to focus on something in my life. My OH and I decided to stop TTC tonight and I'm absolutely devastated. My heart is breaking, but I know it would be selfish of me to even consider carrying a chld around in my unhealthy body. The urge to eat to make myself better was so intense but I know what that brings- shame, guilt, self loathing, self pity, deression (plus many more negative feelings)
Behind the tears I feel a small ripple of strength. I'm determined that this is my year to get healthy and keep the weight off.
I'm going to try to write this every day, feel stronger already
Em x

 

[Embo78]

Wednesday 20th January 2010
Dear Diary.
So this was my last day of junk eating but really didn't feel like stuffing my face. Hopefully this is a sign that I'm ready to get down to my ideal weight. It's going to be a long, hard slog, but I feel ready.
I have wonderful goals to lose weight for, getting married and trying for a baby of our own, but I really want to do this for me, my sanity, health and peace of mind.
Can't wait to see all my old Weightwatcher friends in the morning and so glad I don't have to go to work whoop!!!
Em x

 

[Embo78]

So I did it!! Nearly didn't go!! I overslept and almost talked myself out of going but remembered how much I needed/wanted to lose weight and got my ass in gear!!
It was so lovely seeing all my old friends. They were so welcoming. Especially my leader.
First weigh in - 17 st 5 lbs.
Ouch!! But had a good food day.
Breakfast - Oats so simple - 2.5 points
Lunch - home made chicken n veg soup - 2 points
bread roll with low fat spread - 3 points
Dinner - chicken breast - 3.5 points
baked potato - 3 points
mixed veg - 0 points
low fat yoghurt - 1.5 points
total 15.5 points.
Totally satisfied and still have 10.5 points spare!! Not even hungry!!

 

[KatSparks]

Looks like you are doing really well on your first day. Good luck for the rest of the journey!!

 

[Embo78]

Thanks slimmingagain for your support.

Saturday 23rd Jan
Went to McDonalds this morning with my daughter and neice. They had pancakes with lashings of syrup, I had porrige!!!
For lunch I had two eggs, scrambled on one wholemeal toast with no butter or spread.
Mid afternoon snack weightwatcher choc bar
Dinner, spaghetti bolognaise
small portion grapes and dried apricots.
Supper, cup of coffee with skimmed milk, no sugar and two weightwatcher lemon and Ginger cookies.
This all came to 22 points. I'm saving four per day to make up for the takeaway I had last night visiting my parents.
That's what I love about weightwatchers. You can eat whatever you want and still treat yourself. Just need to get moving now. OH and I are going for a nice long walk around the lake one day next week.
I'm looking forward to my first weigh in on Thursday morning.

I'm feeling so much more positive. I'm back in control again. I'm controlling my food, not the other way around and it feels good!!!

 

[Embo78]

Sunday 24th Jan

Another good day for me.
Breakfast - 2 rashers bacon
1 grilled tomato
3 tblsp baked beans
handful of mushrooms cooked in spray oil.

Lunch - mushrooms and low fat soft cheese
2 slices wholemeal toast.
Dried apricots.

Dinner - sausage casserole (with low fat sausages)

still feel positive and like I can have a really good go at this.

Been quite lonely though as OH is working and kids are all out enjoying life!! I've been watching biggest loser USA and cooking dinner and a big pan of spinach and broccoli soup (which is absolutely delicious btw!!)

Back to work tomorrow and I'm actually looking forward to it. I'm busy at work and not thinking about food so much!!

 

[Embo78]

Thurs 28th jan

Had a brilliant day today. All my hard work has totally paid off. I've lost 5.5lbs. Woo hoo!!!
No food makes me feel as good as did on those scales this morning. My grandma (who goes as well) was so proud of me. My OH, children and friends are too. But the main thing is, I'm so proud of myself. It has just strengthened my resolve even further. I'm really going to do it this time. I'm so very determined. Like I was March 09 when I stopped smoking.

Food for today.

Breakfast - Ww bar, dried apricots.
Lunch - tomato soup and a roll.
Dinner - 2 sausages, mashed potato & beans
sugar free jelly, muller light and half tin peaches.

Snack - a slice of my lemon drizzle cake, from my weightwatchers recipe book.
A pear

Feel totally satisfied and positive. Spent some time with my grandma too which was lovely.

 

[amberstone]

Hi Embo

Well from reading your first post to your current last one, its great to see your frame of mind changing and although i dont know you , very proud of you !! )
Remember when times are tough and you have negitive thoughts a little mantra...
PLIM - Power lies in Me
You dont ever want to be a PLOM -Poor little Old me....

You can do it whatever you put your mind too, and with such a fantastic loss in your first week, your already on your way to achieving same.

Amber

 

[Embo78]

Aw thanks Amber. What a lovely post. I will definitely be using PLIM.

Well I haven't been around much to write my diary but I'm still going strong. I've stuck to my diet for two weeks now and got weighed in this morning. Lost 1 and a half lbs this week. Yay!! I was completely shocked because last time I was on a diet I always struggled to lose the week of my "women" week ha ha!! So to lose a pound and half thrilled me to bits.

Things aren't good at home these days but I refuse to let that get in my way. I'm hoping it's a temporary problem as my OH has stopped smoking and is actually unbearable. It'll be day 5 for him tomorrow so I hope he starts to feel better soon!

 

[amberstone]

Aw thanks Amber. What a lovely post. I will definitely be using PLIM.

Well I haven't been around much to write my diary but I'm still going strong. I've stuck to my diet for two weeks now and got weighed in this morning. Lost 1 and a half lbs this week. Yay!! I was completely shocked because last time I was on a diet I always struggled to lose the week of my "women" week ha ha!! So to lose a pound and half thrilled me to bits.

Things aren't good at home these days but I refuse to let that get in my way. I'm hoping it's a temporary problem as my OH has stopped smoking and is actually unbearable. It'll be day 5 for him tomorrow so I hope he starts to feel better soon!

Aww Embo

Good to see you back and brilliant you have been still doing the diet. Your loss is excellent, especially for this 'woman week ' laughing, me 2 and my weigh in is tomorrow.

I did LT diet a few years back with my hubby and nerves can get on end with each party lol i remmeber well, but well when he has more than day 5 and sees a loss he will be motivated and you both can help motivate eachother, even make it a race if that works? laughing... im very competitive, i was always determined to win... which i did, but he kept his weight off and i put mine back on laughing... anyhow... not this time round, its going and going for good.

Have a great weekend

Amber

 

[Embo78]

Well things are still awful at home but I'm not letting that get me down and nothing will make me eat junk.
I've had a great food day anyhow. I'm particularly enjoying my soups i've been making. It's been leek and potato this week. Planning my meals and writing it all down is a massive part of my success I'm sure. I've been using my pedometer for the last week too. I offered to do all the walking around the hospital where I work and it's amazing how many steps I walk each day. I earned 26 bonus points last week!! I didn't eat them tho!!

Breakfast - porridge
Lunch - soup and wholemeal bread
yoghurt
Dinner - weightwatchers sweet n sour chicken
2 satsumers
through out the day weightwatcher fruities and for supper 2 wholemeal toast with jam.

I'm really proud of myself because an argument with my partner a few weeks ago would have lead to mc d's or dominoes to try to fix how I feel with food, but I'm learning that over eating makes it all so much worse. The guilt after a binge is horrendous.

Thanks for the reply Amber. We have two things in common now, wanting to lose weight and we're both competitive!! Hope you have a great weekend too chick. I'm working tomorrow but got Sunday off Yay!!

 

[Embo78]

So finally made up with OH !! He's admitted he needs some help with his nicotine withdrawal and is off to the smoking cessation clinic Monday!!!

I've allowed myself a treat today. Well two actually. A sausage roll and a doughnut. This seems to be working for me. I have one day a week where I can eat some naughty food!! That way I've got something to look forward to and I can save my points.

 

[amberstone]

Hey Embo! )

Good news about OH and well done on your positivity and choices With this mindset your headed to success all the way Ms Competitive hehehe...

Amber

 

[Embo78]

Hee hee Amber!
I've felt my resolve slipping a little today and have been craving sweet stuff so I just had a cuppa soup and a weightwatchers chocky bar and that seemed to do the trick!! I'm quite irritable too. Everything is just getting on my nerves so I've come to bed and I'm gonna watch my soaps!!

Stuck to my points tho, even saved 4 for my naughty day on Saturday!!

 

[amberstone]

Good - going to bed is always best and you find that when you wake up it isnt as bad, evening times are my worst
Roll on naughty sat, im having one two for valentines, hubby brining me out for a lovely meal and we are going to stay in town in a 4* hotel and have some well deserved quality time ) out of our normal setting, perhaps a few drinks and maybe if im lucky ill get a foot rub! hehehehe... naughty sat indeed! ) laughing.. but im guessing you meant it food wise.... whistles innocently...

 

[Embo78]

Hey that sounds great Amber. Me and my Oh are going out for the first time ever on valentines day. I usually cook. No swanky hotel for us though. We're saving for our wedding!! We're going to the restaurant where he took me on our first date. I'm really looking forward to it and have even planned what I'm going to eat and I'm already saving points!

I've lost 2lbs this week. So that's 9lbs in three weeks and people have started noticing. I feel great!!

 

[amberstone]

Hey that sounds great Amber. Me and my Oh are going out for the first time ever on valentines day. I usually cook. No swanky hotel for us though. We're saving for our wedding!! We're going to the restaurant where he took me on our first date. I'm really looking forward to it and have even planned what I'm going to eat and I'm already saving points!

I've lost 2lbs this week. So that's 9lbs in three weeks and people have started noticing. I feel great!!

Hey Embo!!

Great loss )
Also lovely outing with your OH to your first restraunt, on our meeting anniversairy our first date was to Anchorman so each year we would watch that on that day .. laughing... romance is nice eh Have a great night you too.

Ohh saving for your wedding, you will be sorry you mentioned that to me now... im married six months and am having withdrawl symptoms from planning... maybe i could help live it again vicariously though you... lol ... feel free to give me any details or run suggestions by me... Amber Bridal Consultant... over and out ( ps i dont charge )

hehe

Amber

 

[Embo78]

Aw that's brilliant Amber. My head is racing with all kinds. Me and OH were butting heads over the guests at the sit down meal last night !! Wedding politics arrrggghhhhh!!

As far as my diet goes I've had a good week and have actually struggled eating all my points!! Even yesterday at our valentine meal I left almost all my carbonara. It just tasted so oily and fatty !! Today tho I'm struggling a little. Sweet cravings. I've eaten two weightwatcher bars but still not satisfied so I've done what I do best ... Come to bed !! It seems to work for me !!

 

[Embo78]

Well I had to check in tonight to say how much fun I had at hip hop tonight !! I nearly didn't make it cos I almost chickened out but then I thought to myself ... Why not? Why shouldn't I go? And I had a brilliant time. Had a great work out and had lots of fun too!! This time four weeks ago I wouldn't have been caught dead there it's amazing how much confidence I've gained in such a short time!

Great food day too
breakfast - porridge
lunch - ham n low fat coleslaw wrap
Ww rice pudding.
Dinner - homemade chicken Kiev (from my Ww cookbook)
green beans
2 pancakes with sweetener and lemon.
Supper - slice low fat lemon drizzle cake (also from my cookbook)

loads of water too and my new "thing" a green tea after every meal.

Feel great and loved showing my family my "moves" !!!!

 

[KatSparks]

Go Embo! Hip hop sounds like fun and well done for going..
Your menu is just soo yummy... Can't wait to start proper meals myself and looking at your list chicken kievs are definitely going to be one of the first meals. Never cooked them myself though - does it take long? And how many calories?
Kat