Focusing on the bigger picture ..

[DearFatty]

Reading posts today made me think about how sometimes we focus too much on how much weight we can lose in a week and not the bigger picture.
This is the first time I have ever looked ahead rather than right now and I find taking off the pressure of wanting to lose X amount of pounds a day has found sticking to plan so much easier.
Yes, I want to lose my weight as quickly as the next person, but I know it will take time, but this time I will get there.
Do you find setting sometimes unrealistic targets just set yourself up for failure rather than saying I am going to lose my weight however long it takes ?

 

[BevR]

yes i do agree if i lose each week its going down and not up, and im not bothered really how much i weigh, but how i look.
its just a shame it doesnt come off as quickly as it goes on, although from people i know, some people who lost it really quickly put it back on and then more when they started eating 'normally'

 

[Annie68]

I've had a bit of a 'take stock' week last week and have realised how much pressure I put on myself when I'm losing weight (notice I didn't say 'trying to lose weight'?) hehe.

I've had three weeks of what I consider low losses for me and have been disappointed. Anyone who I've told I lost 1lb have said well done and been really pleased for me, so why was I so disappointed? Because I expect it all to fall off in one big lump? It's taken almost 4 years to put this much weight on as i was an acceptable size before I had my youngest daughter. so there is no way on this earth it's going to fall off in a short space of time.

I also found myself jealous of the people who have a couple of stone to lose and sat there thinkinging, oh if only that was me. But it was me that got to this point so it's no use being jealous of anyone. It's the same process for anyone whether they have 24 pounds to lose or 96 pounds to lose like I have.

My family keep reminding me how far I've come since October last year. And the reality is.. yes I have lost 3 stone since October, I really can't expect to lose weight much faster than that. So I've not got to get so hung up on a 1lb loss when I wanted it to be 3 or 4, the upshot of it is, the weight is coming off.

I don't have a wedding to look forward to like some of you lovely lucky gals on here, and I know we are losing weight for ourselves because ultimately we want to look good and feel good and we want those close to us to look at us and find us sexy and desirable.. well I do LOL. With that in mind, my hubby will be 40 in December this year and I want to lose as much weight as I can before then because I'm planning a surprise party for him and I want to look really good at the party. I'm not saying I'll be at target by then because expecting to lose another 7 stone before December is pitching the odds a bit too high I think. That said, even when I met hubby 10 years ago, I was in the mid 13 stones and I'd like to be somewhere in that region by then. If I'm not.. well what does it really matter. At least I won't be the weight I was on his birthday last December.

I do need to relax about losing weight a bit.. it's not the be all and end all....... it's only a case of putting enough fuel in my body to get through each day, and everyone does it every day of their lives, it's just that some of us get so hung up about it it takes over our minds 24/7 yet other people barely even think about it. They eat to survive, not survive to eat (cliche I know.. sorry)

 

[Rachelina]

When I successfully got to target before my weight never cam off consistently, some weeks I would have huge losses (4 or 5lbs) and then others I would gain a lb for no reason as I stuck to the diet 100% all the way and exercised by running loads too. It's so easy to get despondent when it's like this but the way I dealt with it then and the way I deal with it now is that I always say to myself when I feel like giving up and stuffing myself 'what is the alternative?, I eat crap and pile it all back on or I keep going and it WILL come off, it HAS to' and that's what I did, I kept going and the weeks my weight stuck when I had run and run and run and stuck to the plan were so hard but you do have to look at the bigger picture and not just at what happens day to day and week to week, you can't lose weight any quicker than your body wants to let go of it unfortunately, no matter what you do, so you just have to learn to relax around it, set small goals and do your best, you will get there in the end if you see it through

 

[elizabeth]

This pressure thing is the main reason I've decided to get weighed once a month. I have another 7st or so to lose, and I think I would go completely mad if I had the pressure of weekly weigh ins for that long. I couldn't deal with it.

Looking at it over a month takes the pressure off considerably, and also helps with riding out those weeks when you don't lose much ... if you don't know about them, you don't worry.

 

[suepat10]

I totally agree that it is possible to get 'obsessed' with losing quickly. I need the weekly weigh-in for support and guidance etc but can totally understand why Elizabeth has opted for monthly WIs.

I also agree that people have to be careful of thinking how quickly they can do it. I'm not saying it has happened on here, but people have got quite obsessed with comparing the speed of loss on EE v the red/green plans. To the extent that they have taken it personally when someone has said that the EE plan doesn't work for them or vice versa.

At the end of the day, which ever plan you follow or however long it takes you, you'll get there. Even if you have a gain, it isn't stuck on with glue. You can lose it.

 

[kjs1628]

This is a really interesting thread as it pretty much completely sums up my feelings about my weight loss journey. My weight is coming off incredibly, uncomfortably, annoyingly slowly...but it is coming off.

I am really struggling with the inner demons shouting in my ear. On one side I can hear "not enough, not enough. What's the point of being this good and only losing a pound a week?". I sit next to people at work who are eating treacle sponge and custard, and not worrying about it and I look at my mug shot and sigh. And a part of me feels sad for me.

BUT

On the other side, I can hear "It's a pound. Much better than putting one on. Lose another next week, and the week after (etc etc) and you'll be looking great by Summer. Think of the big picture".

And at the moment I can't work out which one is talking the most sense. Fortunately, I am quite enjoying the plan, so am managing to stick with it, but I wonder what will happen on a hard week, where the temptations are too big.

I weigh in on a Friday, and I dream of the day I get on and have lost 3 pounds...but maybe it will never happen....but if I stay strong, and find contentment with a pound a week, then one day I'll stand on the scales and they'll say ten stone, won't they????

It's very confusing!!!

 

[need2shrink]

ive gotta admit im a very fickle with my weight.. i need to see big numbers and if i gain i feel like a failure, BUT, my head is in the right place this time, my husband is supporting me via actions (well normally hes just toddled off the chippy but he usually does) not just words as he has in the past. im just so determined, in the past ive always thought thatll never be me, but ive realised it will be me, iv just gotta be patient and firm for the first time in my life!!!

so heres to the bigger picture *cheers*!

 

[lwtblb]

I think I will relax a bit now!!

Lost most of it reasonably quickly, but I seem to have been obsessing over the last few lbs since about November...one on, two off, 3 on, 3 off... I'm completely confused as to how much now..think it's 3 lbs & totally obsesed with getting to that target!! Maybe a few lbs won't actually make that much difference & if I stopped beating myself up over it, it might actually happen.

 

[dehli]

Very wise words, thank you ladies. It's taken me 8 years to put the majority of my excess weight on, so I should relax and let nature do its work gradually!