From Miss Clumsy to Miss Graceful (hopefully!) :)

[MissClumsy]

Right, here goes!

Having snooped around here for a few days now reading other people's amazing journeys and seeing how the diaries seem to keep people focused, I've finally told myself 'what the heck are you doing just thinking about it, don't shy away anymore, get writing woman!'.

What can I tell you about myself? I'm 35 (eeek, how did THAT happen??), in my dream job as a secondary school teacher (yay!), massively overweight in need of a kick up the backside every now and again!

I have tried SW before, but don't suppose I was ever in the right frame of mind, and don't ask me what has changed now, but somehow I really feel motivated to do this! It's not that I have anything big coming up, no weddings/holidays etc, which in a way is good as I tend to put loads of pressure on myself in those situations and then when I veer off track I go extra mad on the old eating and drinking - I am simply doing this now for myself. I am fed up with having to shop in special shops for my clothes, I am fed up with getting out of breath when walking up the hill to get to school, I am fed up with feeling like cr*p every time I see a picture of myself!

This little diary of mine will no doubt contain loads of ramblings about my days, but I am hoping it will help me stay focused and that it will remind me of why I am embarking on this journey!

So far I have been doing well, I have lost almost a stone since I joined, which I am very pleased with, just a few more to go now haha!

Any advice or tips or general chit chat greatly appreciated!

Miss Clumsy xx

 

[broadsbean]

:welcome: starting a diary is the best thing you can do, fab for support and for keeping you focused

I get so much advice and guidence from mine its really helped me.

Well done on the st loss and trust me i have far more to lose !!!!!!!!!
but know i will get there this time

I look forward to reading your ramblings and seeing your progress xx

 

[MissClumsy]

Thank you Mandy, I really appreciate your support, and I am sure we can do it as long as we keep encouraging each other!

Tonight is a challenge for me, as I love my drink (a bit too much at times) and I know if I have just the one I'll have the whole bottle so I am trying to abstain! We'll have to see how that goes lol!

M xx

 

[MissClumsy]

Woke up this morning feeling great! Had nothing to drink last night (which is always my downfall on a Friday night) so I'm super proud of myself for that - especially since I'm going out tonight and I just know it'll get messy!

Have been saving all of my syns this week though so I know I can have a good drink, if need be I'll use some flexi syns, plus we are going to a gig so I know I'll be jumping about a fair bit shedding some calories that way lol! The main part is, that I am finally getting my head around the fact that I can have a 'naughty' night every now and then, get up the next day and start afresh! No need to feel guilty, or to beat myself up for going over the top, which previously I have wasted loads of time doing (days!!).

Another exciting thing this morning was that I pulled on my favourite track suit bottoms (which, by the way have never seen the inside of a gym or any excersice taking part whilst wearing them, they are used for comfort only lol) and they have started feeling too big! Hurrah! So far I have not been feeling any different, which is weird, as I have not had to undo the button on my work trousers to take them on or off for at least 3 weeks now (refuse to buy a new pair until half term though!) but I still haven't FELT like I lost anything, does that make sense at all??? But this morning I suddenly felt like maybe I have, the scales are possibly not lying!

Told you my diary would be full of ramblings by the way, hope I am making some sort of sense!

Off to have some breakfast now (more like brunch, but I can never eat first thing), I think I feel like a second cup of tea, some yogurt and fresh fruit!

Have a great day lovely people, don't let the negative thoughts get you!

M xx

 

[broadsbean]

well done on the successful weekend

rambling is good, and you don't sound negative to me you should read some of the negativity i can come out with:sigh:

i hate eating first thing too, but all the advice i have been given here is to try and eat breakfast to kick start your metabolism.

hope you have a good week xx

 

[MissClumsy]

well done on the successful weekend

rambling is good, and you don't sound negative to me you should read some of the negativity i can come out with:sigh:

i hate eating first thing too, but all the advice i have been given here is to try and eat breakfast to kick start your metabolism.

hope you have a good week xx

Thank you! Had a really good day Saturday, until I went out and drank loads of cider lol, but then I also went to see a band so I spent all night jumping about ended up drenched in sweat so I'm pretty sure I burnt most of the calories! Yesterday was also good, had 2 little gins during the day (my weakness is definitely drink - and what I put in my mouth once I've had a drink!!) but food wise I stuck to it!

Hope you have a fab week too!

M xx

 

[MissClumsy]

Someone asked me today if I have lost weight!! How fab is that?! I was soo pleased!!

Then I went and did something really stupid....I was on a school trip today, so lunch was provided. Not only did I stuff a massive cheese baguette, then I also had two chocolate cookies and some short bread. Oh well, I'm sure I can rectify that before WI on Wednesday - I guess I can count a little bit of the bread as HEB and some of the cheese as HEA, so therefore the whole baguette probably only worked out as about 10 syns? Then the cookies and shortbread, that's a whole different story but I never use syns during the week as a rule, so as long as I stick to plan tomorrow and Wednesday I might still lose or at least STS. I hope!! I sooo want to get my half pound off though so I get another nice shiny sticker for my first stone lost!

Positive thoughts! xx

 

[MissClumsy]

Finally remembered to do my measurements as well earlier in the week - that way I will be able to keep track of inches as well as pounds! I am sure that some weeks we might all feel like we haven't changed at all, but really we might have!

 

[MissClumsy]

OK, don't panic. So I've had LOTS of food today, for some reason I have been super hungry (might be the cold weather), but to be fair, ALL of it has been free.

Started off with yogurt with fresh blackberries, then I've had two apples, scrabled eggs with veggie ham, a bowl of home made vegetable soup and I have also drank my milk allowance. Now I'm so stuffed (this has been over the whole day mind you, before you start thinking this has all been in an hour or so lol!!) but at the same time I am feeling guilty, as I have weigh in tomorrow.

After eating that cheese baguette yesterday I have sort of convinced myself I'm not going to lose. As I have already said, I just want that half pound so I can get my stone award. THEN I'll finally know I am on track and on the way to reaching my goal!!

Fingers crossed for tomorrow, hopefully I'll get a nice shiny sticker!!

M xx

 

[MissClumsy]

Yay, I lost 1.5 this week!!! Didn't think I would lose at all, when I jumped on the scales this morning (oh why do I torture myself) they showed a completely different story, but then I had a pretty hectic day with lots of running around so maybe that helped lol!

Anyway, have just had my tea, made up of all free foods again so I can save some syns for the weekend (gin, gin and more gin!), having a nice cup of tea in front of the fire with my two cats. Bliss.

Super happy with the loss!!!

M xx

 

[broadsbean]

Yay, I lost 1.5 this week!!! Didn't think I would lose at all, when I jumped on the scales this morning (oh why do I torture myself) they showed a completely different story, but then I had a pretty hectic day with lots of running around so maybe that helped lol!

Anyway, have just had my tea, made up of all free foods again so I can save some syns for the weekend (gin, gin and more gin!), having a nice cup of tea in front of the fire with my two cats. Bliss.

Super happy with the loss!!!

M xx

:bliss::bliss::bliss:

congratulations xx

well done on the st award.


My weighin tomorrow never feel confident the night before

hope you have a good week again

 

[MissClumsy]

:bliss::bliss::bliss:

congratulations xx

well done on the st award.


My weighin tomorrow never feel confident the night before

hope you have a good week again

I'm sure you will be fine! I was not even going to go tonight, toyed with the idea of calling my C saying I was ill (funny how I regress to school age sometimes) but a friend talked me into going, saying I would only regret it, and that even if I had put on I would know what I did wrong so it would not be a huge shock. And of course they were right, and I am so pleased I went!!

Good luck for tomorrow, I am sure you will do well!

M xx

 

[MissClumsy]

Right, new day, feeling good! First day of half term, which I usually dread as I tend to eat and drink too much during these times, but this time I have planned ahead (unheard of for me!) and bought in loads of free foods to snack on. And to be honest, I have gotten so used to not drinking during the week over the past few weeks, I don't even really miss it. I'm sure my liver is thanking me!

Been to town already and bought some lovely new fluffy socks to wear (it was bloody freezing this morning!!) and started looking at some new work trousers as my old ones are suddenly feeling massive. Won't get a new pair until weekend after this though, as I might have lost even more weight by then! Actually I should say that I WILL have lost some more weight by then lol!

Anyway, best do a bit of housework while waiting for OH to get up (he works evenings so doesn't get up until about 1pm).

Making roasted chickpeas later, found the recipe on here and they sound lush, and they are FREE on green! Yay!!

 

[MissClumsy]

Woke up feeling full of cold! Aaaargh, this always happens on school holidays, once you stop rushing about all the bugs catch up with you! Trying to break the world record in sneezing at the moment, but have still had a good morning. I always go shopping with my elderly neighbour in the school holidays, help her carry her bags, that sort of thing and we went off as usual today, which was lovely. Plus it got me out of bed at 7.15 (she is an early riser) which was quite good really as otherwise I might have stayed in feeling sorry for myself!

Got a load of goodies for the weekend, making a veggie curry tonight (using Quorn chicken style pieces for substance) and am making it super hot to blow away this cold lol!

Yesterday was a great day, I ate free foods all day, had rice with vegetables, yogurt with fresh raspberries and loads of various fresh fruits during the day. This morning I had my special egg wrap once we came back from shopping, which basically means I fry two beaten eggs in fry light, kind of like a pancake, once fried I put veggie ham or cheese on top of it (only had veggie ham this morning though as I want to save my cheese for later, plus my cat goes mad for the cheese and won't leave me alone until I've given him a bit), then I wrap the whole thing up. It's delicious, and totally free!

Anyway, now I'm about to sit down with a nice cup of tea in front of Melrose Place (my guilty pleasure, takes me back to being at college lol), will update later on what kind of day I've had!

 

[MissClumsy]

OMG what a good day I've had!!

Not just food wise (free foods all day and have just had a LOVELY home made veggie curry with rice to blow away my cold), but this morning I FINALLY had a letter from the council saying I have got an allotment!!

This is seriously great news, I have been on the damn waiting list for OVER 3 YEARS and had, quite frankly, given up hope of ever getting one! Went and picked up the keys this afternoon (could not do the paperwork though, as some clown at the council had used the last form without taking copies) but will go and do that on Monday. Went down to the allotment as soon as I had the key in my hand, and it's perfect!! It's only half a plot, which is perfect size for me, at the moment it's covered in grass and weeds (seriously, how come it has not been used for years but yet I have been on a waiting list?!) and I cannot wait to get stuck in clearing it!!

Some of my earliest childhood memories are from working in my Mum and Dad's garden; they used to grow EVERYTHING from scratch, never ever had to buy fruit or veg in the shop, and that is my kind of ultimate dream.

Oh, I cannot wait to sign the papers on Monday so I can go down and start clearing! Just think of all the exercise I will get as well!! Happy days!!

 

[MissClumsy]

OK, why are my scales not working? Have been VERY good for the last few days, but yet my scales are showing that I have gained half a pound. Yes, I KNOW I should not be weighing myself at home, especially since my clothes are definitely starting to feel bigger, but the scales are just calling me and I tend to weigh myself every morning when I get up.

I didn't even have any alcohol yesterday, or any cheese!! Don't understand? Oh well, no need to panic, I still have loads of days until WI on Wednesday, and on Monday I'll be down the allotment all day clearing weeds (weather permitting) so I guess I'll just carry on as I am.

OH is going out tonight, which means I have the house to myself (with my two cats of course) so I've decided to watch a couple of girlie films and NOT drink. I have finally started to realise that drinking on my own is not a good idea, and that I might as well save those syns for another time when maybe I go out with friends or fancy something extra as a treat.

The sun is shining and I want to be down the allotment right now. How cruel is that, to give someone the keys on a Friday and then tell them they cannot use it until all the papers are signed on the Monday? It better not be raining on Monday lol!

Have already had some of my home made veggie curry for lunch, as could not face breakfast again, really must get into the habit of trying to eat something when I get up, if nothing else it will kick-start my metabolism in the morning I guess. Still got some leftover curry for tonight, yum.

Cold is feeling better as well, maybe that what has made me gain weight though, as my head feels full of cotton wool!

Anyway, might do a bit of housework now, the sun is shining directly at my windows, reminding me how filthy they are!

Have a great day!

 

[MissClumsy]

Suddenly remembered that I have a gym membership. That I am paying for each month. Like EVERY month but not actually visiting. Am I made of money? Nope, so I am thinking I'd better get myself down there!

I started going back in May, which is when I got the membership, and for the first month I was down there practically every day, loving it (mainly because I used to treat myself to a lovely soak in their Turkish baths after each session) but then I had to take a month off due to a nasty chest infection and then I clearly got out of the habit. That will have to change as soon as possible!

Oooo, this is so exciting, a new me is well and truly happening. New habits, new me. This is going to sound silly but just a little thing like not having a drink on a Saturday night is a huge thing for me!

I haven't told anyone in my family that I am embarking on this new me, by the way. They don't live near me and I only see them maybe 3 times a year. I speak with them every week, several times a week in fact, but I have not told them about SW. Last time I was 'home' at my Dad's I was around my starting weight, which was 19st 10lb. Last week I weighed in at 18st 9lb, and when I next go visit my family for Christmas I am hoping to have lost AT LEAST another stone.

Thinking about it, I don't know why I've not told them. I guess in a way I don't want them to think that I'm sad or not coping (not that I am sad or not coping, but that is what they would think!); at the end of the day it was me that moved away to a new place, and to admit that I am not happy the way I look would just make them worry about me. That sounds silly, I know.

Anyway, I'm off to have another glass of squash now (as I'm off the alcohol) and then I'm going to see what's on the telly and see if one of my lovely cats fancy a cuddle on my lap!

 

[broadsbean]

so both off to the gym

can't decide if i am scared of the workout or the place:sigh:
i am looking forward to the hydro pool its a big jacussie( how ever you spell that) reckon it will be lovely to relax my muscles after trying to break them

I have never been this determined before but know i will do it this time, i have set up lots of support both from family and on here.
Just think how surprised everybody will be when you go visit them

 

[MissClumsy]

so both off to the gym

can't decide if i am scared of the workout or the place:sigh:
i am looking forward to the hydro pool its a big jacussie( how ever you spell that) reckon it will be lovely to relax my muscles after trying to break them

I have never been this determined before but know i will do it this time, i have set up lots of support both from family and on here.
Just think how surprised everybody will be when you go visit them

Looks like we are! I used to be petrified of the gym thinking everyone would be staring at me and so on, but I realised quite quickly on that they don't (at least I've never noticed!). For me the key is to go wearing something I feel comfortable in, that way I can just get on with it - if I was to be wearing something not the right fit, or too tight I would not be able to concentrate at all lol!

Have fun when you go, as you say, you are super-determined now, same as me, so that will help keep you focused!

 

[MissClumsy]

Had a great day yesterday, probably went over my syn limits on gin, but hey, I didn't drink on Friday or Saturday so I guess it will all balance itself out! And it is the school holidays, so I knew I didn't have to get up early. Made the roasted chickpeas that people have written about on here, and they were LUSH! Ate the whole lot!

Today I've been shopping with my lovely neighbour, as usual during school holidays, then I went down to my allotment. Cleared about 1/10th of it, which took a good 3 hours, and my whole body is aching now, I think I have broken myself lol.

Planning on going down there for at least 2 hours tomorrow morning, then I am having lunch out with a friend of mine. We normally end up in the pub for lunch, and although I know I will try my best and choose something sensible, at least by having done 2 hours of clearing (and sweating!) down the allotment I can treat myself if I feel like it.

Making a vegetable soup for my tea right now, it's dead simple, just cabbage, potatoes, carrots, Quorn mince (for a bit of substance) and water with Oxo cubes and chillies for a little kick. Couple of hours on the hob, it's yummy, and perfect for soothing an aching body!