cornishkez
Gold Member
Bet that got your attention didn't it! 
Well, today I went to my doctors for my first smear test. I'm 26 so it's my first and I have been putting it off for a year. Well putting it off is wrong, it's just one of those things where every month my period comes and I think about booking it and then before I know it my period is here again. But last week I decided that it was irresponsible to let it drift any longer so made an appointment.
It was awful! Not the smear test itself, that all went as expected. But it was the appointment with the nurse that was awful!
I haven't been to the doctors for a long while, 3 years since my last check up she reckoned.
The nurse was like a proper old school matron and was soo rude! I came out feeling about a third of an inch tall. She completely interogated me in front off all the other nurses about my weight and just would not let it go. Asking why I was overweight, what I was doing about it, why I hadn't done anything about it since my last visit?! I said that I had tried and that my weight went up and down, maybe more often up than I would like. Her reply was 'Well I can't see that your weight has gone down at all in the last 3 years', leaving me feeling pretty pathetic. Then to top it off, as I was leaving, she called to me across the waiting room (full of people) and said make sure you give losing some of that weight some thought!
If I wasn't so mortified I would have made a complaint there and then!
Afterwards I sat in my car feeling very sorry for myself, not being able to decide whether to cry or hit things with anger. I wasn't even sure whether I was angry at her, or angry at myself for putting myself in the position where people like her can treat me like that.
So here I am once again, trying to decide whether CD is the route to go down? I've been here before many a time and I have tried every diet going, but don't stick to anything for long that a week.
My problem is that I go hell for leather the first week, but I set the bar too high and I can't keep it up. Then when I binge...I really binge!
I have got to go into the town tonight where my CD is based and pick up a parcel from the Royal Mail depot. So seeing as I have to drive past her house, do I drop in? Her appointments are Monday and Thursday evenings. Or do I spend the weekend getting into Ketosis and then if I get there, go and see her on the Monday. Bearing in mind I have about a weeks worth of products in the cupboard and the amount of times I haven't made it past day 2 is getting embarrassing.
I started writing this at 10am, but work got in the way. How rude! So I am now back from lunch and I popped to Tesco and grabbed some cans of coke zero, chicken breasts and cottage cheese to prepare myself! I'm 1 litre and 2 coffees down the hatch, what do I do guys?!
I am so fed up of being like this. But I'm also so fed up failing that I've lost the motivation to even keep trying. :sigh:
My weigh in this morning was 114.2kg (18stone).
Well, today I went to my doctors for my first smear test. I'm 26 so it's my first and I have been putting it off for a year. Well putting it off is wrong, it's just one of those things where every month my period comes and I think about booking it and then before I know it my period is here again. But last week I decided that it was irresponsible to let it drift any longer so made an appointment.
It was awful! Not the smear test itself, that all went as expected. But it was the appointment with the nurse that was awful!
I haven't been to the doctors for a long while, 3 years since my last check up she reckoned.
The nurse was like a proper old school matron and was soo rude! I came out feeling about a third of an inch tall. She completely interogated me in front off all the other nurses about my weight and just would not let it go. Asking why I was overweight, what I was doing about it, why I hadn't done anything about it since my last visit?! I said that I had tried and that my weight went up and down, maybe more often up than I would like. Her reply was 'Well I can't see that your weight has gone down at all in the last 3 years', leaving me feeling pretty pathetic. Then to top it off, as I was leaving, she called to me across the waiting room (full of people) and said make sure you give losing some of that weight some thought!
If I wasn't so mortified I would have made a complaint there and then!
Afterwards I sat in my car feeling very sorry for myself, not being able to decide whether to cry or hit things with anger. I wasn't even sure whether I was angry at her, or angry at myself for putting myself in the position where people like her can treat me like that.
So here I am once again, trying to decide whether CD is the route to go down? I've been here before many a time and I have tried every diet going, but don't stick to anything for long that a week.
My problem is that I go hell for leather the first week, but I set the bar too high and I can't keep it up. Then when I binge...I really binge!
I have got to go into the town tonight where my CD is based and pick up a parcel from the Royal Mail depot. So seeing as I have to drive past her house, do I drop in? Her appointments are Monday and Thursday evenings. Or do I spend the weekend getting into Ketosis and then if I get there, go and see her on the Monday. Bearing in mind I have about a weeks worth of products in the cupboard and the amount of times I haven't made it past day 2 is getting embarrassing.
I started writing this at 10am, but work got in the way. How rude! So I am now back from lunch and I popped to Tesco and grabbed some cans of coke zero, chicken breasts and cottage cheese to prepare myself! I'm 1 litre and 2 coffees down the hatch, what do I do guys?!
I am so fed up of being like this. But I'm also so fed up failing that I've lost the motivation to even keep trying. :sigh:
My weigh in this morning was 114.2kg (18stone).
