Ground Zero

[Leopardess]

“The term ‘ground zero’ describes the point on the earth’s surface closest to the point of detonation.”

I made this account last week. Every day since I’ve woken up, ready and motivated to start my fitness and weight loss journey.

Then I spill a drink. Or I forget to weigh myself before I eat breakfast so I can’t record an accurate starting weight. Or I smoke one too many cigarettes. My perfect fresh start is ruined. I should give up, binge eat, forget about drinking enough water or doing any exercise. What’s the point? I’ll start tomorrow.

Then last night, I had a panic attack. A really, really bad one. My face was tingling and swollen, there was awful pressure in my head, my heart was going insane and my legs were numb. I was convinced I was having a brain haemmhorage, or a heart attack. I thought I was dying. And I realised, I can’t live like this, waiting for tomorrow to start my life again. There’ll always be another tomorrow and another excuse. I’ve already had two cigarettes this morning, the bus is running late, I haven’t even been able to wash my face or brush my teeth and I won’t be able to until I get home at ten o’clock tonight.

And you know what? I’m going to do my best. I won’t have time to exercise but I’ll still do some stretches when I get home from work. I won’t be able to have three healthy, nutritious meals, but I’ve made sure I had some fruit and I’m going to stay under my calorie count. If I don’t get time to weigh myself today I’ll do it tomorrow and record my starting weight then, because the thing is, it won’t make a difference.

I want to be able to run a marathon.

I want to be able to hike and climb and catch snakes and be wild.

I want to start taking martial arts seriously, improve my fitness and flexibility and bring myself up to competition standard.

I will not die before I’ve lived.

 

[AliGal]

Welcome Leopardess. So good you are starting. Step by step, you will get there.

 

[asp273]

Good luck, Leopardess! You sound like you've finally got to that point where you've just had enough and are ready to make a change. I think sometimes it takes getting to ground zero to properly push off and get the momentum we need to get on with the task. I feel exactly the same as you with the perfectionism and it's so counterproductive- in fact in that cycle of all or nothing I've managed to gain three stone and I feel sick about it.

Let us know how you're getting on; I've joined this website just as much to follow other people doing well and to hopefully take inspiration from them as I have to get ideas and the rest. I hope you're still doing what you can, when you can, regardless of any hiccups

 

[Mini]

Welcome Leopardess and good luck on your journey