KD's Newsletter No. 1

KD

Gone fishing
Well, I was going to cover a few subjects...but a few people have asked about how DS2 is doing now, so thought I’d devote this newletter to that;)

How do you get a teenage boy to remember to go to a memory test??

This is my current problem with DS2. He has been concerned about his failing memory. We think he’s suffering with memoria electus as he always remembers when his girlfriend is due, whereas remembering that homework needs to be done daily seems to be a problem of some magnitude. :rolleyes:

It has been taken a little more seriously since the day he forgot how to spell his name for his GCSE exam paper and along with missing other important details, the school psycho has decided that a memory test is in order.

Why don’t they go and get him? He has missed three appointments so far. :confused:

I’ve told him that "I forgot" is never a good excuse for anything. Everyone knows that “I forgot” really means, "It wasn't important to me", but he keeps forgetting my advice.

Other than that, DS2 is doing well. Certainly well on the social front which I guess will always be his number one priority. A couple of other things that are squeezed into his life to make the burden of school bearable

1. We have just been informed that his Junior Gym Coach exams will take place in August. Going to cost £100, but the biggest obstacle is finding 2 small children for him to be tested with….and persuade their parents to drive them all the way there to be instructed on the fine art of the cartwheel and rolly polly (amongst other things). Finding two small children isn’t exactly difficult, but asking them to travel is going to take a bit of thought.

2. Work experience. Oh my. Don’t I just hate it. The first problem is getting them to write the letter in the first place. With DS1, he wrote 35 letters and received one reply, and that was a rejection. He eventually got a job, but the whole thing was a disaster.

Now it’s DS2’s turn. DS2 goes to a different school and things are more organised there. Write letter with a certain format, include this and that, take to Head Of Work Experience Teacher to be checked. Fill out form for permission to use letter headed paper (any other paper not allowed). Rewrite, go to Head of Work Experience Teacher to have rechecked.

Address envelope, and place now half crumpled letter in envelope to go back for rechecking. Fill out new form with details of where they plan to go etc etc. Eventually ‘post’.

Right….this has taken us 6 months to do (not counting the amount of time taken to decide where he would like to do these 2 weeks!)

Each reply has been a no. He’s even been around companies, knocking on the door and asking to no avail. So it has ended up with me approaching my school. They know him well and are pleased to have him (Phew). Still meant going through the application procedure.

Next step. Fill out Criminal record thingy. Okay, that can’t be too hard can it? Include 2 letters with your name and address on. We found one from his bank. The school said we were doing well. Most struggle to find any at his age. They recommend that we get his school to write a letter to him.

So, the next step was to walk up to the school and ask them if they would please write a letter to DS2 and include his full name and address, then post it to him.

Yes, they will do that and told me to “write a letter confirming that this is what we need and include a stamped addressed envelope”. Meanwhile, my school would like £20 which they have to send to the criminal records whatever along with the application. Okay, so they pay for mine, but all WE families have to fork out themselves. Fair enough..though I must say I am a little grieved owing to the fact that I do so much voluntary work for the school.:(

In the end, we did find another letter (the junior gym coach thing), but have still had to find the £20 and photocopy all the forms for his present school to check and approve.

Can you imagine working through all this with a young guy that can’t remember to turn up for a memory test, let alone hand anything in!

Next on the list is to buy some clothes for the occasion. School have suggested black trousers and smart shirt and tie. Clean black shoes, grey or black socks.

Okay, we can do that, except for the black trousers. Next step then, to buy black trousers that will probably never be worn again.

Last step is to work out where he’s going to live during this time at my school, as we are hoping to go away for a few days that week. It’s a special week for DH and I.:cool:

Wonder if DS2 will remember to go back to the right house each day?


 
Hi Karion

So glad you have written this one I have been thinking quite often of your son and hoping he was getting on well again. Seems like progress is being made and I'm sure he is pleased with himself re 'the girlfriend'.

Sounds like you pretty much have the work experience sorted out now. Phew what a pain all that paperwork.

I have been thinking of your son all the more as my eldest is working towards taking the 11+ in November to get to our nearest grammar school KEGS in Chelmsford (very difficult though!). I often wonder what problems I will have ahead of me with my three boys.

I've been keeping much quieter lately which is actually helping I think. But it is always lovely to hear your news. Will look out for newsletter no. 2.

Dizzy x
 
Oh, I remember the palaver with the 11+ Glad when that was over! Best of luck to him.

Okay, we have had another memory lapse.

He phoned me. He was at a friends and they decided to go to the piccies in 1/2 hour. He didn't get to have a shower this morning as he was at a friends (don't think friends have showers:confused:), and he's desperate for a shower before he goes.

Son (on phone to me): Can you pick me up, so I can have a shower then get back in time to go to the pictures.
Me: Can't you forgo the shower just for today or have one when you get back
Son: :eek:
Me: Okay, but walk to the end of the road and I'll meet you there in 10 minutes
Son: Okay....leaving now.

So I get there in about 10 minutes. It will take about 10 mins for him to walk to the end of the road. Perfect timing.

Except when I get there, I see him running for dear life up the road.

He forgot. Came off the phone with me, made his way to friends front door. Forgot why and so sat down again and started watching a film with them:confused:

Then one of his friends asked when I was picking him up and he remembered.

Okay...but he really wanted a shower, and knows that I won't hang around for him. If he wasn't there, I would have come straight home.

It's odd. There are so many times this sort of thing happens.
 
Shame he's missed those appointments. For all your sakes it would be nice to get to the bottom of it.

Did he get to the cinema in the end?

Dizzy x
 
He's in the shower at the moment...then I need to take him to the piccies as he's missed the bus.

It is strange though. For so long I put it down to kids just being kids, but there's some strange times.

It's not as if he's a bit dim or anything. Ummm. Sure it'll all come out in the wash.:sigh:

Is your son working through practice papers? We did a couple, but decided to send him to two private lessons before the exam, just to pick up some hints as to what was required.

The primary school he was at doesn't prepare them at all. I was a bit concerned about doing extra work for it, because I wanted him to get in on 'natural talent' :D

All the other local schools were helping the other kids though, so thought it was only fair that he should see what was required and pick up some hints and tips.
 
Sure you will get to the bottom of it. I would guess it could be a phase something he will 'grow out of' a symptom of a bit of lost confidence maybe. Memory is so linked to psychological factors. I know my memory is particularly bad when I am feeling low in self esteem. His friends and social life may be just what is needed. He also knows he has support and home and at school which must be a relief for him.

Theo is a very bright boy and would thrive in a grammar school environment as he loves a challenge and is really motivated when stretched. For instance getting him to practice his cello is so much easier with an exam coming up and he pulls it out of the bag in the few weeks leading to the exam.

The head at his school changed this year and luckily for him she is pro grammar school and her children both go to the local grammars so she has just started a 11+ group at school. He has had 2 sessions and does a paper each week at home. He had an English paper with a long exert from Tess of the Dubervilles today which to be honest he read better than me. It certainly is quite challenging for them and I certainly wouldn't have him do it if he wasn't so capable. I agree with them needing to get in on natural talent. After all that is the point of grammar schools and those that have years of private tuition to get in are going to struggle once there aren't they. As the syllabus is so different to what they do at school though they do need some tuition and if he needs a bit extra we will try to arrange it as many of his classmates have been tutored for sometime already. His teacher thinks he will thrive though so hopefully she is right.

Incidentally he puts his intelligence down to his learning the cello. As a music teacher maybe you would agree with this. As his mother I think it may have helped but it was obvious he was bright from when he was a small baby.

Dizzy x
 
For instance getting him to practice his cello is so much easier with an exam coming up and he pulls it out of the bag in the few weeks leading to the exam.

LOL. That's boys for you :D
He had an English paper with a long exert from Tess of the Dubervilles today which to be honest he read better than me. It certainly is quite challenging for them and I certainly wouldn't have him do it if he wasn't so capable.
I think most parents really know if it's right for their child. I hear of parents thinking they'll go for the grammar system when it's obvious that kiddo isn't going to pass, but they nearly always back out close to the time;)

Like you, we all knew this route was right for Andrew. Okay...we may have been wrong after all, but he's coming about middle in everything (except music and pe:eek::eek::eek:...the two loves of his life), and the alternative school wouldn't have suited at all.
Incidentally he puts his intelligence down to his learning the cello. As a music teacher maybe you would agree with this.
Of course :D There is a vast amount of evidence to support this, but it's probably a bit of both in a lot of cases.

I was reading the other day about a school who did this experiment with rats.

Hang on...I'll find it;)

Suffolk, Va, high school student David Merrell finished first in regional and state science fairs by demonstrating the effects of music on lab mice. After the mice ran through a maze in about 10 minutes,, Merrell played classical music to one group and heavy metal to another for 10 hours a day. After three weeks, the mice exposed to classical music made it through the maze in a minute and a half. The rock music group took 30 minutes. Said Merrell:"I had to cut my project short because all the hard-rock mice killed each other. None of the classical mice did that."


:eek: Fancy them killing each other:eek:
 
Its so good to have you back KD, I can even cope with once a week updates!

The memory seem to be down as stress related, and I can empathise, my memory is pants when Im stressed, I can even forget how to talk.

If he ever gets to the test in time this may help, and need to ask this, could this be any form of attention seeking at all, ie, they say my memory is dodgy so I will prove them right??

Work experience is a nightmare, I feel for the kids but when I have had them they are about as much use a leaky toilet, the last one turned up with 4 rings on each finger, nose piercing and tongue piercing, now, I have nothing against piercings, but when they are given clear guidence on what to not wear then Im against it! I have piercings, but not for work. Can you imagine selling a trip on the orient express to a couple of millionares with that stood behind you!!!

Great to have you back KD, dad was good today, not as wobbly, he is at the specialist on tuesday so Ill let you know then, they wont take him off the serc even though its not working!! He has hurt his foot, had a wobble on and walked into an open door, its all colours of the rainbow too, ouch!
 
If he ever gets to the test in time this may help, and need to ask this, could this be any form of attention seeking at all, ie, they say my memory is dodgy so I will prove them right??

It may well be. Who knows. I'm open to suggestions and certainly not quick at labelling him with some sort of bland name that will excuse him from his behaviour...but there again, I have to be aware that he might really be having problems.

I remember the psycho lady was very surprised that I hadn't spoken much to A about his 'problems'. I usually do, but something tells me that I have to keep this very low profile. Just a feeling. That doesn't mean that I'm not watching out and caring..just get this feeling that I don't want him to get the extra attention. He knows he can always come to me with problems...and he does..so things are much as norm here.
Can you imagine selling a trip on the orient express to a couple of millionares with that stood behind you!!!

LOL. You know I have this amazing Polish student? Well, I was chatting with her Dad about life in England, the good and the bad. His biggest criticism was the behaviour, attitude and attire of the youth here.

He said it is very different in Poland, where their whole aim is to get into the best universities. He was shocked and asked me why this has happened here and what is being done about it. He did have good things to say about our country though :cool:

dad was good today, not as wobbly, he is at the specialist on tuesday so Ill let you know then, they wont take him off the serc even though its not working!! He has hurt his foot, had a wobble on and walked into an open door, its all colours of the rainbow too, ouch!

Serc certainly doesn't help me. Reduction of caffeine and salt was also suggested, but that didn't do anything either.

I do feel for him, and glad he's feeling a bit better today. Argh about the foot:( He doesn't need that at the moment.
 
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