Hello to all the slimmers out there, let me introduce myself and tell you a little more about me...
I was always the chubby kid in the family and out of the majority of my friends, i was often teased about it and alot of things which we're said stick in your mind for years.. i turned to food for comfort because it made me feel good, though it didn't help the situation at all.
In high school i became very self aware of my body and how "imperfect! i was, again i was teased for being "plump" and when i had a fall out with a friend it lead to me switching my ways of eating.. i started by cutting back on calories to only 500 a day.. it became addictive and i enjoyed the feeling of being hungry, sometimes i wouldn't eat anything at all.. then came the binges from built up hunger and craved foods.. i couldn't find a balance between the two it was all or nothing, so i began to purge.. take laxatives.. dance around my bedroom for hours a day to burn calories.. I returned to school after the 6week summer holiday and i dropped quite abit of weight, people complimented me and it felt weird.. it was like they wanted to be my friend now that i lost some weight. I continued on my food issues because it was no longer about the food it was about the feelings behind the eating disorder. People quizzed me on how i lost weight but of cause i didn't say.. though i think it was pretty obvious.. i changed my hair colour and style of clothes i wore.. and all these people all of a sudden respected me, why i dunno? I had a mixture of family problems and bad relationship choices which just continued my way of eating.. my weight stabilised once i'd lost over 4stone. In college it was the same i'd avoid going to the green room with everyone for lunch or i'd go and drink water and say i wasn't hunrgy.. i did this for 18months and i never ate a thing my entire time i was there.. i finally met my now husband and i became more content with myself, i started to eat lunch with everyone else but it was junk food.. chocolate/crisps/burgers/chips so i'd make an excuse to go to the toilet after to purge.. but then they started to say "we'll come with you" so anxiety was like WTF am i gonna do.. i remember being on day 3 of my water fast and i fell down some stairs at college coz i just didn't see them.. everyone took the piss and it lead to be binging when i got home coz i knew it was because i was fasting.. i purged the binge, took lax and started restricting again. This was a repeatitive cycle.
I fell inlove with my now husband, the moment we met.. hes the reason i got over my eating disorder. 5 months later we found out i was expecting.. After the birth i got sick and it caused me to get postnatal depression.. when i was sick i had to have a tracheostomy and when i got out of hospital i started to purge again with the hole in my throat from the trachy.. i began comfort eating and i piled on the weight. This yo-yoed again for 3years i'd lose loads of weight, pile it back on. It got too much for me, i couldn't live like this anymore.. i reluctantly started SW in 2010 and i was amazed at how much you could eat and you could still lose weight.. my loss was much slower than some but i didn't have a huge amount to lose so thats maybe why. I had some problems again and started the binging after less than a year at SW.. i felt too ashamed to go and be weighed coz i knew they'd question me as to why my weight yoyo's alot.. so i quit, tried to follow plan at home but it didn't work.. I rejoined and the same thing has happened again.
So i'm here and i'm starting slimmingworld again with the motivation to kick the binging in the butt, i want to be healthy.. i don't want to be consumed by an eating disorder.. i am at a healthy weight, but i am 10lbs heavier than what i'd like to be. My aim is to get healthy so i can bring baby no.2 into the world. I want to be healthy for myself and my family. When i did slimmingworld it was the ONLY time i was ever full of energy and really healthy.. i want that back again.
So here's to a healthy 2012, a new beginning.. to a healthier me.
I was always the chubby kid in the family and out of the majority of my friends, i was often teased about it and alot of things which we're said stick in your mind for years.. i turned to food for comfort because it made me feel good, though it didn't help the situation at all.
In high school i became very self aware of my body and how "imperfect! i was, again i was teased for being "plump" and when i had a fall out with a friend it lead to me switching my ways of eating.. i started by cutting back on calories to only 500 a day.. it became addictive and i enjoyed the feeling of being hungry, sometimes i wouldn't eat anything at all.. then came the binges from built up hunger and craved foods.. i couldn't find a balance between the two it was all or nothing, so i began to purge.. take laxatives.. dance around my bedroom for hours a day to burn calories.. I returned to school after the 6week summer holiday and i dropped quite abit of weight, people complimented me and it felt weird.. it was like they wanted to be my friend now that i lost some weight. I continued on my food issues because it was no longer about the food it was about the feelings behind the eating disorder. People quizzed me on how i lost weight but of cause i didn't say.. though i think it was pretty obvious.. i changed my hair colour and style of clothes i wore.. and all these people all of a sudden respected me, why i dunno? I had a mixture of family problems and bad relationship choices which just continued my way of eating.. my weight stabilised once i'd lost over 4stone. In college it was the same i'd avoid going to the green room with everyone for lunch or i'd go and drink water and say i wasn't hunrgy.. i did this for 18months and i never ate a thing my entire time i was there.. i finally met my now husband and i became more content with myself, i started to eat lunch with everyone else but it was junk food.. chocolate/crisps/burgers/chips so i'd make an excuse to go to the toilet after to purge.. but then they started to say "we'll come with you" so anxiety was like WTF am i gonna do.. i remember being on day 3 of my water fast and i fell down some stairs at college coz i just didn't see them.. everyone took the piss and it lead to be binging when i got home coz i knew it was because i was fasting.. i purged the binge, took lax and started restricting again. This was a repeatitive cycle.
I fell inlove with my now husband, the moment we met.. hes the reason i got over my eating disorder. 5 months later we found out i was expecting.. After the birth i got sick and it caused me to get postnatal depression.. when i was sick i had to have a tracheostomy and when i got out of hospital i started to purge again with the hole in my throat from the trachy.. i began comfort eating and i piled on the weight. This yo-yoed again for 3years i'd lose loads of weight, pile it back on. It got too much for me, i couldn't live like this anymore.. i reluctantly started SW in 2010 and i was amazed at how much you could eat and you could still lose weight.. my loss was much slower than some but i didn't have a huge amount to lose so thats maybe why. I had some problems again and started the binging after less than a year at SW.. i felt too ashamed to go and be weighed coz i knew they'd question me as to why my weight yoyo's alot.. so i quit, tried to follow plan at home but it didn't work.. I rejoined and the same thing has happened again.
So i'm here and i'm starting slimmingworld again with the motivation to kick the binging in the butt, i want to be healthy.. i don't want to be consumed by an eating disorder.. i am at a healthy weight, but i am 10lbs heavier than what i'd like to be. My aim is to get healthy so i can bring baby no.2 into the world. I want to be healthy for myself and my family. When i did slimmingworld it was the ONLY time i was ever full of energy and really healthy.. i want that back again.
So here's to a healthy 2012, a new beginning.. to a healthier me.
