caz78
Full Member
Hi everyone,
I hope you don't mind me joining you. I feel i have to do something cos I am getting down. My story is complex so if you will stay with me I will fill you in
Right here goes. I have m.e/cfs and numerous other health problems, primarily severe depression and anxiety. I am on mulitple meds and am unable to exercise AT ALL. I have always been 'the chubby one' but since having my child and starting the meds that saved my life I gained 5.5 stone! V. annoying since i actually lost weight after having him lol. I am 5ft 3 or 4, not sure and currently 15stone0. At my biggest I was 16stone 6.
If all that wasn't enough as a result of M.E. I developed a self medicating habit to ease my insomnia. One thing with M.E. is you are exhausted but many people can't sleep. The only way to get my required 10 hours to enable me to get through the next working day was to smoke a joint (cannabis)in the evenings. Bad idea i know. I did this from age 15 and although I have had long absences from work due to flare ups of my problems I have never had to resort to benefits thankfully. I hope I am ok to make this admission here, it is valid to my post I promise. Anyway, as a result of this self medication i began binge eating junk (munchies) and when that combined with my meds I ballooned. So I am not really blaming my meds, I am blaming my bad choices.
Now to get to the point. I few years ago it hit me that my life was spiralling out of control and i needed to change. i've lost a stone, gained back a few pounds, given up my habit for a few weeks then crashed again. in the process of doing this i kept 12lb off.
The a few months ago I had a relapse of my problems and decided enough was enough. I went to my Gp and confessed all. I decided to use my sick leave to get my life on track as well as getting well. I gave up my habit 7 weeks ago (soooo proud of that) and am sleeping ok. I am struggling to lose weight because I am so imobile but in the past 3 weeks i lost 6 lb. A week ago I started slim fast and am loving it but i thought I was losing lots only to find out today i have only lost 3 lb. When i weighed through the week I had lost more. Lesson learned, dont weigh everyday
Bascially i need a good talking to and I needed to write this to gain some perspective. I am sooo disappointed I have only really lost say 9lb in 4 weeks (weigh in tomorrow so guessing) when i have sooo much to lose and have changed my eating habits so drastically. I don't feel any different but I know I have done well to manage my relapse whilst stopping my habit and dieting. i am just feeling fed up that I have not done better and that I am not feeling any benefits after losing a stone and a half altogether, apart from financially, my word i used to sepnd a fortune on junk! Feel like I have changed my whole life and I want to feel proud but I keep beating myself up that my weight loss is slow.
I know my problems are my own fault through my bad decisions but as my GP said when you're that low and in desperate need of sleep you turn to what you can to help you. This is a real heart on my sleeve confession so please don't hate me. I just wanted you to know the full story so you know why I am struggling and maybe someone can shake me and put my head back on track. Not been cheating just frustrated!
Thanks for reading
caz x
I hope you don't mind me joining you. I feel i have to do something cos I am getting down. My story is complex so if you will stay with me I will fill you in
Right here goes. I have m.e/cfs and numerous other health problems, primarily severe depression and anxiety. I am on mulitple meds and am unable to exercise AT ALL. I have always been 'the chubby one' but since having my child and starting the meds that saved my life I gained 5.5 stone! V. annoying since i actually lost weight after having him lol. I am 5ft 3 or 4, not sure and currently 15stone0. At my biggest I was 16stone 6.
If all that wasn't enough as a result of M.E. I developed a self medicating habit to ease my insomnia. One thing with M.E. is you are exhausted but many people can't sleep. The only way to get my required 10 hours to enable me to get through the next working day was to smoke a joint (cannabis)in the evenings. Bad idea i know. I did this from age 15 and although I have had long absences from work due to flare ups of my problems I have never had to resort to benefits thankfully. I hope I am ok to make this admission here, it is valid to my post I promise. Anyway, as a result of this self medication i began binge eating junk (munchies) and when that combined with my meds I ballooned. So I am not really blaming my meds, I am blaming my bad choices.
Now to get to the point. I few years ago it hit me that my life was spiralling out of control and i needed to change. i've lost a stone, gained back a few pounds, given up my habit for a few weeks then crashed again. in the process of doing this i kept 12lb off.
The a few months ago I had a relapse of my problems and decided enough was enough. I went to my Gp and confessed all. I decided to use my sick leave to get my life on track as well as getting well. I gave up my habit 7 weeks ago (soooo proud of that) and am sleeping ok. I am struggling to lose weight because I am so imobile but in the past 3 weeks i lost 6 lb. A week ago I started slim fast and am loving it but i thought I was losing lots only to find out today i have only lost 3 lb. When i weighed through the week I had lost more. Lesson learned, dont weigh everyday
Bascially i need a good talking to and I needed to write this to gain some perspective. I am sooo disappointed I have only really lost say 9lb in 4 weeks (weigh in tomorrow so guessing) when i have sooo much to lose and have changed my eating habits so drastically. I don't feel any different
but I know I have done well to manage my relapse whilst stopping my habit and dieting. i am just feeling fed up that I have not done better and that I am not feeling any benefits after losing a stone and a half altogether, apart from financially, my word i used to sepnd a fortune on junk! Feel like I have changed my whole life and I want to feel proud but I keep beating myself up that my weight loss is slow. I know my problems are my own fault through my bad decisions but as my GP said when you're that low and in desperate need of sleep you turn to what you can to help you. This is a real heart on my sleeve confession so please don't hate me. I just wanted you to know the full story so you know why I am struggling and maybe someone can shake me and put my head back on track. Not been cheating just frustrated!
Thanks for reading
caz x
