Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

[minilady]

I am feeling really down this evening. My daughter is 16 and has been acting a little strangely for the past year. I started noticing more and more that her behaviour could be really weird, things like touching certain things with her finger tips and forearms, flicking light switches, arranging things in my food cupboards etc. At first we made a joke of it as in my ignorance I didn't know much about OCD's.

In the end my daughter told me she was worried about this behaviour, I asked her why she did it, and she told me that she thought if she didn't, something bad would happen to her, i.e bad luck or illness. I took her to our GP who referred her to a mental health unit. Our initial appointment there, was 2 months ago, the psychiatrist told us that she would have to have a series of cognitive therapy sessions.

Today she had her 4th session, and told the Psych that she felt things were getting worse as she was having to face them more. She was then told that medication may be neccessary.

I am so upset for my little girl, I don't know why she has this, I've wracked my brains, trying to think what may have triggered it all, could it be my fault, I really don't know. She is a very bright, socially active, pretty and popular girl. This isn't really affecting her social life, she goes to college, has a part time job and a steady boyfriend. But in my confidence she tells me she feels like a "freak". My heart bleeds for her, I wish I could help her.

Does anyone else know anything about OCD? I quite understand if people don't want to publicly post things about this.

Tracey
x

 

[MadamDotty]

Oh Tracey, I wish I could help but it's not something I really know much about. My family joke about me having it as I have some daft little ways and like certain things in certain places or it really gets to me, but not to the point that your daughter is at.

At least she's getting help, have they said that medication will improve the situation for her. It must be difficult for her to feel so different from others, as no teenager wants to stand out from their peers, but hopefully things will improve.

Don't really know what to say, but as a mum of course you never want your children to suffer in any way and my heart goes out to you.

Take care :hug99:

Jan
xx

 

[Kate]

Oh, poor girl! She mustn't feel like a freak...OCD is actually really common. If it'll make her feel any better, David Beckham suffers from it. This site might help:

OCD-UK: Leading UK charity for people affected by obsessive compulsive disorder (ocd)

I know a few people who suffer from it and they're all totally lovely, normal people (just like your lovely, normal daughter!). It's absolutely fab that she's getting CBT rather than just being offered medication. I think there's a terrible tendency to stigmatise mental illnesses (not meaning you - just generally), when they're really just like any other illness. They can happen to anybody, and you can recover from them with the right treatment.

I don't know if this is even remotely helpful but I hope the site will give you some useful info.

Kx

Edited to add: don't get me wrong, medication can certainly help in lots of cases, but it's so often prescribed dismissively as an alternative to counselling (not just in the case of OCD).

 

[minilady]

Oh Tracey, I wish I could help but it's not something I really know much about. My family joke about me having it as I have some daft little ways and like certain things in certain places or it really gets to me, but not to the point that your daughter is at.

At least she's getting help, have they said that medication will improve the situation for her. It must be difficult for her to feel so different from others, as no teenager wants to stand out from their peers, but hopefully things will improve.

Don't really know what to say, but as a mum of course you never want your children to suffer in any way and my heart goes out to you.

Take care :hug99:

Jan
xx

Thank you Jan your for your kind words. Yes they think medication will help. It's just sillily I thought it would all just go away, a phase that would end. Hearing she may have to have medication, just hit home to me, that this is a serious thing, and my daughter cried tonight and asked if I thought she'd get worse.

I didn't know whether to post about it or not, but I needed to get it off my chest. I'm glad I did. Thanks for the hug I needed that.

Tracey
x

 

[minilady]

Oh, poor girl! She mustn't feel like a freak...OCD is actually really common. If it'll make her feel any better, David Beckham suffers from it. This site might help:

OCD-UK: Leading UK charity for people affected by obsessive compulsive disorder (ocd)

I know a few people who suffer from it and they're all totally lovely, normal people (just like your lovely, normal daughter!). It's absolutely fab that she's getting CBT rather than just being offered medication. I think there's a terrible tendency to stigmatise mental illnesses (not meaning you - just generally), when they're really just like any other illness. They can happen to anybody, and you can recover from them with the right treatment.

I don't know if this is even remotely helpful but I hope the site will give you some useful info.

Kx

Thank you so much Kate!!!!!

I will sit with her tomorrow and look at the website. They have told us how common it is, and at first she wasn't too worried about it, but tonight she was really upset, and of course I've been trying not to show how worried I am to her, that's why I felt I needed to offload on here.

Thanks again

Tracey
x

 

[MadamDotty]

It makes it more real I suppose and that's hard, I had to go back on medication last year for depression, I fought it for months as taking medication seemed like failure, I wanted it to go away by itself, but it was, of course, the right thing to do and made such a difference to me. It will get better from here on in, it's the shock as much as anything that has probably hit you right now, but you're both facing it and dealing with it and with medication and therapy you will hopefully see an improvement.

As Kate put it so well, OCD is common & as with so many of these illnesses, like depression, that could never be talked about before, it's much more open & acceptable nowadays.

I'm glad you posted, it's usually a help just getting it out of our heads where these thoughts can go round & round & round. And if anyone on here can help and knows more about OCD, I'm sure they'll be along very soon with help & support, that's the wonderful thing about Minimins.

xxx

 

[Kate]

Oh gosh Tracey, offload away! It's stressful to be supportive to someone who depends on you when you need support too. We're all here for you. :hug99:

Here's a nice story. I had a friend who had to switch all the lights in the house on and off in a particular order. If you visited and you went to the loo, you weren't to touch any switches. If you did, she had to go through the whole house, switch every light off in the correct order, and then switch them all back on again in the correct order.

Now I haven't seen her in a while (purely for geographical reasons) but certainly last time I saw her she was doing really well with it and actually encouraging people to switch lights on and off so that she could practice not reacting to it

 

[minilady]

Oh gosh Tracey, offload away! It's stressful to be supportive to someone who depends on you when you need support too. We're all here for you. :hug99:

Here's a nice story. I had a friend who had to switch all the lights in the house on and off in a particular order. If you visited and you went to the loo, you weren't to touch any switches. If you did, she had to go through the whole house, switch every light off in the correct order, and then switch them all back on again in the correct order.

Now I haven't seen her in a while (purely for geographical reasons) but certainly last time I saw her she was doing really well with it and actually encouraging people to switch lights on and off so that she could practice not reacting to it

That is good to hear!!!

Each time my daughter sees the therapist, she is given little mini tasks to do. One of her things is that she has to do everything in 3s, 6s or 9s i.e going up steps (our stairs have 13 so she does a little dance on them so it's divisible by 3) The therapist told her to try going in 5's instead, but she found this really difficult and did other things to compensate. It's extremely confusing to me, her mind must just be exploding, I can't imagine having to count everything I did. This week she's been asked to leave things in my cupboards alone. I do think that perhaps this is adding to her stress, as it is early days in her treatment. However obviously they know best, perhaps the medication will help her to cope with the tasks set for her.

I don't attend the meetings with her, but I am going with her to see the original person again in May. He was lovely and I'm sure he'll explain everything thoroughly. As long as she is ok, that's all that matters.

Tracey
x

 

[natayou]

Hi there mini lady,
well this is quite a personal thing for me so bear with me if it dosent all come out properly, I started suffering with ocd tendancies when i was 14 years old, it started as spelling words out in my head, breaking them down into syllables ect, then progressed to counting things in 3's, after a while i did the rearranging things into rows and the rituals of checking and rechecking things, ie things like library books, i was convinced that something personal had fallen into the books pages and had to check and check and check that this hadnt happened, also the same with sending letters and handing in coursework at school,also countless other things too many too list here, it took over my life to an extent, but i saw a pshycologist at the maudsley hospital for a while and I eventually was given strategies [alot of confronting fears head on ie realising that even if something personal was in there the world wouldnt end]to help, I am now 30 and i can honestly say ocd no longer plays a part in my life, i still line up things and have to have symmetry in things like have to have 2 cups on the draining board as 1 or 3 would bug me, but the anxiety and checking is not something that bothers me anymore
i kind of outgrew it in a way, and apparently if you develop ocd at a young age you can simply outgrow it

very personal post here hope you get something from it
natalie

 

[minilady]

Hi there mini lady,
well this is quite a personal thing for me so bear with me if it dosent all come out properly, I started suffering with ocd tendancies when i was 14 years old, it started as spelling words out in my head, breaking them down into syllables ect, then progressed to counting things in 3's, after a while i did the rearranging things into rows and the rituals of checking and rechecking things, ie things like library books, i was convinced that something personal had fallen into the books pages and had to check and check and check that this hadnt happened, also the same with sending letters and handing in coursework at school,also countless other things too many too list here, it took over my life to an extent, but i saw a pshycologist at the maudsley hospital for a while and I eventually was given strategies [alot of confronting fears head on ie realising that even if something personal was in there the world wouldnt end]to help, I am now 30 and i can honestly say ocd no longer plays a part in my life, i still line up things and have to have symmetry in things like have to have 2 cups on the draining board as 1 or 3 would bug me, but the anxiety and checking is not something that bothers me anymore
i kind of outgrew it in a way, and apparently if you develop ocd at a young age you can simply outgrow it

very personal post here hope you get something from it
natalie

Oh Natalie I really do appreciate your post. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for you. I know that my daughter has only told 2 other people about this. So I feel very privilaged that you've shared this.

The things you've described sound extremely similar to my daughter, and you have given me hope.

I am so glad you've overcome this, and it's very interesting what you've said about if you get it young, you can then out grow it again.

I can't begin to thank you enough :hug99:

Tracey
x

 

[natayou]

your welcome tracey, just ina way back off a bit [not that i think u r crowding her ], give her space to cope with the strategies she is being given, even if you dont understand them ,she will learn from them, the meds will not help with the rituals but make the anxiety that comes from not following the rituals more easy to bear, thus helping to break the obssesive compulsive cycle
it may take a while but hopefully she will get more able to look at the bigger picture again[rather than the very small ocd one]
any help u need in understanding all of it just shout me...if i can help i am happy to,

 

[Isobel1965]

Sorry to hear about you being worried about your daughter, hun.

Just a thought, but I've heard that NLP can work wonders sometimes with OCD. I saw a programme with Paul McKenna teaching some OCD people some tapping techniques that just retrained their brains to think of things in a different way - might be worth a look?

Hope things improve for you soon!
xxxxxxxx

 

[Brightness]

:hug99: For you & your daughter, Tracey & also one for Natalie :hug99:

Tracey,

My thoughts are with you and your baby, I have seen a lot of people who have suffered with OCD's over the years and it seems that the ones who took medication together with their therapy sessions were the ones who managed to get their symptoms under control.

As Natalie has said, it also seems that the ones who get it at a younger age do also seem to outgrow it too

Please don't think I am trying to trivialise it, because I am not. I have suffered from it myself & I know how distressing it can be. Nowadays, I am just limited to having to return to the house sometimes to make sure I have locked the doors and turned the gas off (even though it probably hasn't even been on!).

I was quite bad as a child and had to do everything in a certain way & also to have to repeat what I was doing 3 times which just made my mother scream at me . I used to try so hard not to do it which just made it worse but as I got older, it did seem a little easier to not to have to do it. I think I just started forgetting and then I began to realise that nothing bad had actually happened because I hadn't done it.

My youngest son also used to do strange things too and my eldest would tease him about it and call him 'two time touch boy' . Brothers are sooooooooo NICE to each other - not!

I am glad to say that he has grown out of it and only the other day, he said to me that he didn't feel he had to touch things twice any more. It makes me wonder if it is hereditary.

I also think that stress plays a large part in it too. Is your daughter stressed about anything? If she's 16, is she about to start her GCSE's?

I honestly put mine down to stress as I had quite a stressful childhood and I know that now, whenever I do get stressed I also get obsessive about things.

Tracey, please don't worry about your daughter being given medication. I am guessing it is an anti-depressant? Can I just reassure you that 99% of the anti-depressants given these days aren't habit forming and are completely safe. The medication will help to balance the serotonin in her brain and make her feel much calmer (but not zonked out) about things. It will also help her brain get things into perspective.

I myself have to take anti-depressants as I have nerve damage in my back and the ones I take have a side affect of stopping nerve spasms - I take them for the side affects - good isn't it? LOL Anyway, I have noticed that since I started taking them, my moods have been better and I have hardly needed to do anything compulsive but I don't feel spaced out or manic either.

Anyway, I hope this has maybe helped a little. PM me if you want a chat x

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

I've just found this thread and read it with real interest. I have mild OCD - and never realised it for years. It doesn't control my life or ruin it ... but I do like things "ordered" in a certain way. If there are 2 light switches on one socket they both have to be in the same direction. My house can be in "chaos" to other people - but to me everything has an order. I have to re-arrange the dishwasher if other people put things in it, as they've not put them where I would. The same with hanging washing on a line - I have a way of doing it .....

My kids, family and friends have always seen me as "quirky" so it has not interferred too much in my life. But it is quite mild and hasn't got better or worse - so i've never done anything about it.

I just wanted to wish your daughter all the best and hope she soon feels happier and more settled. She certainly sounds like she has a loving supportive mum!

 

[minilady]

Sorry to hear about you being worried about your daughter, hun.

Just a thought, but I've heard that NLP can work wonders sometimes with OCD. I saw a programme with Paul McKenna teaching some OCD people some tapping techniques that just retrained their brains to think of things in a different way - might be worth a look?

Hope things improve for you soon!
xxxxxxxx

Thank you Isobel

That's something to consider. I have a meeting with her therapist in a couple of weeks, and I will mention this to him, to get his views.

Tracey
x

 

[minilady]

:hug99: For you & your daughter, Tracey & also one for Natalie :hug99:

Tracey,

My thoughts are with you and your baby, I have seen a lot of people who have suffered with OCD's over the years and it seems that the ones who took medication together with their therapy sessions were the ones who managed to get their symptoms under control.

As Natalie has said, it also seems that the ones who get it at a younger age do also seem to outgrow it too

Please don't think I am trying to trivialise it, because I am not. I have suffered from it myself & I know how distressing it can be. Nowadays, I am just limited to having to return to the house sometimes to make sure I have locked the doors and turned the gas off (even though it probably hasn't even been on!).

I was quite bad as a child and had to do everything in a certain way & also to have to repeat what I was doing 3 times which just made my mother scream at me . I used to try so hard not to do it which just made it worse but as I got older, it did seem a little easier to not to have to do it. I think I just started forgetting and then I began to realise that nothing bad had actually happened because I hadn't done it.

My youngest son also used to do strange things too and my eldest would tease him about it and call him 'two time touch boy' . Brothers are sooooooooo NICE to each other - not!

I am glad to say that he has grown out of it and only the other day, he said to me that he didn't feel he had to touch things twice any more. It makes me wonder if it is hereditary.

I also think that stress plays a large part in it too. Is your daughter stressed about anything? If she's 16, is she about to start her GCSE's?

I honestly put mine down to stress as I had quite a stressful childhood and I know that now, whenever I do get stressed I also get obsessive about things.

Tracey, please don't worry about your daughter being given medication. I am guessing it is an anti-depressant? Can I just reassure you that 99% of the anti-depressants given these days aren't habit forming and are completely safe. The medication will help to balance the serotonin in her brain and make her feel much calmer (but not zonked out) about things. It will also help her brain get things into perspective.

I myself have to take anti-depressants as I have nerve damage in my back and the ones I take have a side affect of stopping nerve spasms - I take them for the side affects - good isn't it? LOL Anyway, I have noticed that since I started taking them, my moods have been better and I have hardly needed to do anything compulsive but I don't feel spaced out or manic either.

Anyway, I hope this has maybe helped a little. PM me if you want a chat x

Thank you Donna for sharing this with me. I had considered putting a post on here about this ages ago, but was unsure whether to do so or not. I'm soooo glad I have now, it's interesting you say about the hereditary issue. I have always done things so I don't have bad luck, and am what I consider to be houseproud (but hubby thinks it's a bit obsessive). Little things annoy me, and I like things a certain way. Obviously my daughters condition is far more exagerated, but your post has certainly made me think if perhaps my own behaviour, has influenced hers.

We have a happy family unit, however, I am divorced from her dad, have been since she was 8 months old, but the split was amicable and he is a good dad, and has had regular access from day one of the split (we get on well still even now) That is why I find it hard to understand about the condition, obviously if she had had a bad childhood, there would be good reason, but she dosen't know why, and nor do I. But maybe its me

Kim started this about a year and a half ago, not long before she took her GCSE s, so perhaps the stress of exams could have been the catalyst. Got to be honest I did tell her if she didn't study, she'd end up a trolley dolly at Tesco (no offence to tesco workers!!!), but surely everyone has said stuff like that, and it was only a couple of times. She ended up with 4 and enrolled at college, but this was her own decision. I was pushed when I got to her age, about what are you going to do with your life stuff, so I do let her make her own decisions, would hate her to have a career that she hated, just to please me.

God being a parent is so tough:sigh:

Crikey I've wittered on.

:hug99: thankyou

Tracey
x

 

[minilady]

I've just found this thread and read it with real interest. I have mild OCD - and never realised it for years. It doesn't control my life or ruin it ... but I do like things "ordered" in a certain way. If there are 2 light switches on one socket they both have to be in the same direction. My house can be in "chaos" to other people - but to me everything has an order. I have to re-arrange the dishwasher if other people put things in it, as they've not put them where I would. The same with hanging washing on a line - I have a way of doing it .....

My kids, family and friends have always seen me as "quirky" so it has not interferred too much in my life. But it is quite mild and hasn't got better or worse - so i've never done anything about it.

I just wanted to wish your daughter all the best and hope she soon feels happier and more settled. She certainly sounds like she has a loving supportive mum!

Thanks Beverley for your post.

It's interesting and has certainly made me think, as I am a bit like you, what with dishwasher and things, in fact I don't let my crew do many things around the house, as I feel there not done properly and in my mind I do it properly

I'd never thought of myself as obsessive, but I think perhaps I am, obviosly not in a really bad way, but perhaps enough to have conditioned my daughter.

Thanks again

Tracey
x

 

[Brightness]

Thank you Donna for sharing this with me. I had considered putting a post on here about this ages ago, but was unsure whether to do so or not. I'm soooo glad I have now, it's interesting you say about the hereditary issue. I have always done things so I don't have bad luck, and am what I consider to be houseproud (but hubby thinks it's a bit obsessive). Little things annoy me, and I like things a certain way. Obviously my daughters condition is far more exagerated, but your post has certainly made me think if perhaps my own behaviour, has influenced hers.

We have a happy family unit, however, I am divorced from her dad, have been since she was 8 months old, but the split was amicable and he is a good dad, and has had regular access from day one of the split (we get on well still even now) That is why I find it hard to understand about the condition, obviously if she had had a bad childhood, there would be good reason, but she dosen't know why, and nor do I. But maybe its me

Kim started this about a year and a half ago, not long before she took her GCSE s, so perhaps the stress of exams could have been the catalyst. Got to be honest I did tell her if she didn't study, she'd end up a trolley dolly at Tesco (no offence to tesco workers!!!), but surely everyone has said stuff like that, and it was only a couple of times. She ended up with 4 and enrolled at college, but this was her own decision. I was pushed when I got to her age, about what are you going to do with your life stuff, so I do let her make her own decisions, would hate her to have a career that she hated, just to please me.

God being a parent is so tough:sigh:

Crikey I've wittered on.

:hug99: thankyou

Tracey
x

:hug99: Oh Tracey,

Please don't think I was insinuating that your family wasn't happy - that was the last thing! Our family is a happy unit (well, most of the time, when my almost 21 yr old ADHD sufferer son isn't kicking off about something ), yet my youngest has suffered too.

I was just suggesting possible causes for OCD & things that I know to be triggers. I honestly do think that stress is a major factor and it wouldn't surprise me if that's what really started your daughter's problems.

I now work in a high school, invigilating exams and you wouldn't believe the pressure on those poor kids, so for heavens sakes don't beat yourself up about the tesco's comments. Oh and btw, my eldest worked at our local Tesco for a while whilst he was looking for a job in his chosen line of work. As he will tell you himself, Tesco have to be one of the worst employers and only care about profits - that's why they are always in the news - they don't just use bullying tactics to open new stores, they use it on their staff too.

Anyway, back to the kids...... I have seen a lot of kids who seem to suffer with a mild OCD. Their desks have to be lined up in a certain way or they have to have a certain type of chair, otherwise, the poor loves are convinced they will fail every single exam. The media certainly doesn't help either when it prints stories saying that exams are too easy - they just haven't a clue what most teenagers today have to contend with. They probably haven't seen the kids who suffer from OCD, make themselves anorexic or self harm from the stress of those exams. Tracey, your comments would be nothing compared to the other stuff they get thrown at them hunny.

Also, don't forget, 16 is an age where a girls body is undergoing radical hormonal changes, she is almost but not quite, a woman. Her body can physically produce a baby but would her mind be strong enough to cope? Again, it's the hormonal link and again, serotonin plays a large part....

Sorry, if I am waffling but I honestly think that the medication that your daughter will be given is probably one of the safest there is .

When does she next see her specialist and has he started her on meds yet? I'd be really interested from a professional point of view (I am also a qualified Dispensing Technician) to see how quickly they help her.

Big hugs to you both :hug99: :hug99:, sending you positive thoughts xxx

Donna

 

[minilady]

Hi Donna

I don't want you to think I took any offence with your last post. I was just writing down things as they came into my head. I've reread everything on this thread and it's helped put things into perspective a lot for me.

Re Tesco: Tell me about them I did a year of parttime evening work for them about 3 yrs ago as it fitted in with hubby and the kids (We have 4). I have never worked for such a bad company in all my life! Sickness policy, management attitude, it all stinks:sigh: That's why I suppose I said that to her. There are lots of uni and college students that work for Tesco, and I think they're all exploited, and in the case of our local Tesco, used as dogs bodies.

The next appointment is May 7th, and medication will be discussed then. My first reaction was one of , but now I'm feeling more relaxed, have spoken to Kim, and she dosent feel worried about it either, her view is, if it makes things easier, the sooner she starts the better!

All in all, both Kim and I are a lot more relaxed about the whole thing, and that in my case is thanks to you and the other girls who have replied to my thread.

:thankyou: :thankyou: :thankyou: :thankyou: :thankyou: :thankyou:

I'll keep this thread and update, when we know more.

Tracey
x

 

[Ameythist]

Hiya, my sistor sufferes with OCD
She is 50 this year and was not officially diagnosed till 2 years ago, we all laughed and did the usual stuff like everyone else. We feel that medication is not an option. She will arrange the cupboards and she will, make it her mission to paint the house in a certain time, or clean the house in a certain way, with her it is many forms of OCD be it time or items, she is clever lady and once we knew what was going on we now accept it, she could wash her hands 20 times a day, wash the sink and drainer and keep checking the cooker is turned off.......................From my understanding it does not go away but it lessons with time, we do not make a fuss and we understand if she does - hope this helps
ps David Beckham has it as well!!