Random Ponderings... and before and afters!!

[SweetySuperstar]

Hello guys and gals,

Hope you are all very well!!

As some of you may have already read on other threads, I didn't really have a good week last week, picked (well more than picked) at food, lost the plot, and ended up staying the same at W.I yesterday.

I have been thinking a lot as to why I suddenly lost the plot... I'm in week 17 for goodness sakes'.... I should know what I'm doing by now, right?!!!

While I'm not going to beat myself up about it, I hope you don't mind if I put down some things that have happened over the past week... I think these have a big part to play in my losing it... I think it will be good for me to understand and get your comments also, and who knows, it may even help someone else....

Just over a week ago, we had our xmas 'do'... I got lots of strokes... not really to do with weight loss (coz for some reason only one person at work has realised / commented that I have lost weight... I've lost more-or-less 4 stone!! But then I haven't told ppl at work that I am on the programme or even that I'm dieting...). At the restaurant that we went to, I happened to run into someone that I haven't seen for about a year, and she was proper shocked at my weight loss... she gave me loads of strokes!!

But, that same person then happened to chat to me via facebook during the week, and again was commenting on the w.loss, and saying that i looked really good, i found it quite embarassing (not used to compliments!!) and said thank you but mentioned that i still had a way to go and she said something along the lines of 'no way, you should stop now, you're slim enough'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I know that people get comments like this, and we are even told to expect it but I never ever ever thought that I would receive it.... I am only half way through my w.loss journey!!!

So this really threw me... and I think this is the point where my picking started.... I think it was a combination of having lost 6lbs the week before, almost being half way to my target weight and getting told 'stop now'... I just went haywire... it's like my mind was saying one thing and my body (or rather hands and mouth) were doing another... but the scary thing is I didn't even feel guilty, I almost felt like I 'deserved' it... like "oh I've done so well, ppl think I shd stop now so I'm going to reward myself" or something!!

On Thursday, I went shopping with my sister... and I managed to get into a SIZE 16 COAT FROM OASIS - I was over the fricking moon... I haven't shopped in Oasis (apart from shoes / accessories or jewellery) for about 13 years, seriously I last remember buying clothing in there when I was 17!!! AND the coat was in the sale, reduced from £100 to £50, AND they had 25% off on everything... so I got it for £37.50.... that's like a 63% discount off the full price... Obviously I don't really want to spend loads on clothes that I am going to shrink out of in a few months so the price made it even better.... I can't put into words how chuffed I was!!! I wanted to shout at everyone in the shopping centre 'I've just bought a size 16 coat from Oasis, yep that's right, size 16!!!' I bought a raincoat a few months before I started LL... it fitted me well at the time... it was a size 22 (from Sainsbury's and their sizes are on the generous side). So I have dropped 3 clothes sizes in 4 months... unbelievable!!!

Then last Friday, I went to visit my old workplace with a friend as we were meeting another friend from there for a drink. I left my old branch 9 months ago, and basically haven't seen anyone from there since then. Nobody apart from immediate family, my group and you lot know that I am on LL. I met my friend at Liverpool St station first and her mouth just fell open when she saw me - she was soo shocked, she couldnt stop hugging me and telling me how great I looked, she said that I looked about 22 yrs old now.... me!! 22!!!

We then made our way to the branch and it was fantastic... people's reactions were sooo great, one lady didn't recognise me lol!!! I was seriously on cloud 9 on the way home... I've never had so many compliments in my life!! Everyone was saying how glamorous we both looked (my friend has chopped her hair off into an ultra glam bob)... it was so good to go back after 9 months and get that reaction.. you could almost see the envy in people's eyes, that just generally, we 'escaped' from the branch and now apparently, we look great too!

All this just messed with my head... and I just went completely off the track that evening.... and then it just escalated right until W.I. yesterday. I am so definitely back on it today... I just thought that now I am over it, it would be good to write all this down, I have found it very therapeutic.

If you have got to the end of this post, thank you so much for sticking with it and reading it through, I'm sure it didn't make sense in parts lol! Oh and as your reward for getting to the end, check out my new album. I have put pics in of my work xmas do's from 2007 and 2008 - sorry I don't really have any full length photos (used to avoid the camera like the plague!!) but have put in the best ones that I could find.

Thank you so much for your patience - Much love to you all x x x x x

 

[Tange]

Hi Sweety

Isn't it funny how our brains work. I think the lesson to be learned from this (the one I will take away with me from your story anyway) is to be aware of what I want and no matter what other people's opinion is, its what I want and what my goals are that are important. I loved those strokes in the days when it became very apparent I had lost loads. And have to admit to being very very close on many occasions to just saying oh sod it I am looking good because so and so said so. I forgot about what my opinion was. I guess, and I know this is true in my case, as a larger lady other people's opinion was very important to me.

I hope this all makes sense. You have done amazingly. Just wait till you swan into Monsoon and try on a size 14 jeans you will want to yell at the top of your voice. Or do what I did jump around the change room like a loon.

Good luck with the rest of your journey I am sure you will be just fine.

 

[Guy]

Sweety. Alot of what you said resonates with me. Especially about people saying I'd lost enough and I definately also suffer with the inability to take a compliment.

I suppose I would just echo what Tange said. They're your goals an no one elses. I think you need to be more selfish. I've become so stubborn when it comes to LighterLife it's unreal. I've got the blinkers on and built up so much momentum that nothing's gonna stop me now.

Something else I'd say is something I was guilty of. I started to look at how far I'd come far too early. It really made me struggle. Only now do I feel comfortable focusing on the end game and allowing myself to believe I'm on the home stretch. I think it's a tough balance to accomplish. You need to recognise what you have achieved without losing sight of what lays ahead. All I was guilty of was a little bit of complacency and it sounds as if you're the same. I'm sure it'll be fine now you've realised that and expressed it to us.

So, dust yourself down, get back on the saddle and onwards and upwards!

 

[emzski]

Your before and after pics are great, well done!!

 

[tara66]

You look fab in your pictures, well done and I am sure you will carry on now as determined as ever x

 

[annaphylactic]

Hi Sweety - your pics are stunning - there is such a huge difference! No wonder people at your old branch were shocked... crikey!

I can't write a worthy response at the moment, but will do when I can - I think we've both been through a similar experience... compliments can be a killer, that's for sure.

Have a good night x x Me x x

 

[catznolan]

well done for getting it all out hunn, and getting back into it!! also u look bloody amazing!! u have a gorgeous smile (meant in a nice way) xxx

 

[Blonde Logic]

Hi Sweety

Classic description of crooked thinking when we get too many positive strokes!! I am truly beginning to believe this is just a part of the diet as it seems to happen to ALL of us at some stage or another.

We start feeling good - clothes are fitting and look more stylish then ever - lotsw and lots of strokes - with those strokes lots of people saying 'surely you are nearly done!', etc, etc., so the mind can easily be led astray.

Good on you for catching it!!

Congrats on the coat. That is such a great feeling, I too on many occassions wanted to run through the streets shouting!!! You get very evangelical on this diet.

And you look FAB in your photos - such a difference. You do look younger and more vibrant. Absolutely lovely.

Keep rockin it chic! You are doing GREAT!!!

xx