Shops hate me

[KD]

This could be long. I might even have to do it in chapters, but I need to get something off my 36D chest, so bear with me

Perhaps a VLCD has altered my hormones. Stimulated the growth of testosterone or something, but I can certainly relate to men when they say they hate shopping.

I decided to do a touch of it myself today. Okay, it was only to get a sticky fixers (double sided sticky foam pad about 1/2cm square…2 required), but it was a good excuse for a walk. Since having my fitbug, I have tried not to walk any extra than normal for the first few days so that we have a ‘starting point’, but I fear I have done less than normal….what with half term and that.

Besides, my aerobic steps were still at 0 despite having clocked up 8,000 steps by mid afternoon. I needed a good walk to give me something to prove I hadn't spent the whole afternoon in the arcade.

Who am I kidding though? To get aerobic steps I have to walk at least 10 minutes without a break, it then starts counting steps as aerobic. That sounds fine, but the problem with shopping is that however hard you try there is a slight chance that you might want to stop to look at something…or even (God forbid), buy something off the bored teen at the till.

Now I have returned after walking for 2 hours, just to find that not only do I still have 0 aerobic steps, but I have no sticky fixers.

As DH pointed out, there is just no way that even I can blame my fitbug for me coming home empty handed. I did make a very valiant attempt to use that as an excuse, though, but it was unnecessary as I already had two other very good excuses

 

[KD]

1. I have developed a fear of those alarms that stand in shop doorways ready to scream to the rest of the shoppers that I may have stolen something. Not that I would, but it seems that they aren’t fussy. They scream regardless. I thought they just didn’t like me. For goodness sake, how many times will I get stopped entering the shop! It was reassuring to see that it isn’t just me. I stood outside each one for a good few minutes, pacing back and forth watching, trying to pluck up courage to pass them. I noted many people just walked on through…scream or no scream, they just kept on walking with a quick look around in disbelief that it could possibly be for them.

Me? When it happens to me, I stand there and have a panic attack. Every man and woman in the shop and out look at me in disgust. I hardly look the type to take something from the shop, but they raise their eyebrows knowing that you just can’t go by looks.

So now these things bring me out in a cold sweat and I need a self help book before I can enter ‘Next’. Okay…fair enough, except Waterstones, WH Smiths and library are also decked out with these alarms so I have to just keep on pacing outside on the hopes that there will be a power failure and I will be able to get through the doors without incidence.

 

[KD]

2. I must have that look about me that shop assistance don’t like either. I’m a pretty quiet, shy sort of person when I’m out and about. I just want to go in a shop, have a little look around, and come out again. I hope I don’t run in to anyone I know, as I don’t want to talk….just browse.

So having past the alarm system, I seem unable to browse without being jumped on by various assistance asking me “if I need any help?” Surely, if I needed help, I would have gone to them and asked. Do I look like I need help? Do I have a naturally confused face (don’t answer that!). Do I look lost (don’t answer that either ). I think I’m just looking at things, admiring and moving on. I don’t feel that I’m doing anything different to any of the other shoppers, but alas I must be.

I doesn’t matter where I go, shop assistants run from there tills, tripping over various customers to get to me. Can they help me? Can I find what I’m looking for? “No thank you, just looking” doesn’t seem to work. They walk back to their tills and as in a relay, they next person comes up. “Can they help me? Can I find what I’m looking for?

I’m not looking for anything! Oh…okay…perhaps sticky fixers, but I’m pretty sure I’m not going to find them in Next anyway (asked 3 times!)

Lakeland is a shop I love to browse, but today I was asked 4 times. Twice by the same person, once by another assistant, and lastly by some very nicely dressed older lady who was probably higher management. I seem to be working up the scale here!

So I was pleased to get out and back to the relative safety of home, where I could be confident that nobody would ask if they can help me or if I can find what I’m looking for.

So good to be home, even though I have to return again tomorrow for sticky fixers.

Phew….feel better for sharing that

 

[JEM]

Nutter

Not seen you much on the pink site - hope you are OK!

Got some great pics to email you when I get a sec.

Jem x

 

[KD]

Nutter

Thank you for feeling my pain I'll have you know it was a very trying afternoon. Feeling relaxed today. Have asked son to look for sticky fixers whilst he's out

I still post on the pink site, but not so much. Just go on there to nag every now and again, then run before they catch me