The final "this is it I'm starting again and this is it for sure" moment

[bakingbanana]

I decided yesterday enough was enough. I have had about 12 "this is it I'm starting again and this is it for sure I am going to lose that stone" moments in the past month.

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Now it's either a friends birthday meal out and I decide I deserve a treat. "I have been good for 31 hours i deserve a pizza and chips followed by chocolate cake."

True story. Or ill have a couple of glasses of wine as I have saved up some syns, its my Tuesday night off and the boys doing a late why not right?
BAM Ive gotten tipsy off a glass and a half and eaten 3 packets of Quavers,half a box of chocolate fingers and a bowl of crunchy nut.
"low in syns you know healthy extra. Probs." I tell myself, as i shovel them in my gob while flicking between sex in the city and anything without adverts while the kitten tries to eat my hair.
Ok that was a particularly bad night and would like to add I had been at work ergo up since 4am and hormonal.
ANYWAYS I digress.

Its not that I don't think I can do it. I just use to care alot more I feel, Im happy now with a house, a long term boyfriend, a kitten.
I think I always saw being healthy in a very superficial way, where as now I dont care as much what I look like so the health has also fallen by the way side.

Now dont get me wrong I still am kind of peeved that i have so many lumps and bumps (I dont hold weight well) I only want to lose a stone and I am under no impression that I need to lose alot of weight but at the rate its going on I am just not happy about it and I have kind of realised that health yeah kind of not just a superficial thing so yes.

I have bought a book to write evvvverything in. Ill submit my days food here if I remember but today was.

Breakfast: 15g branflakes (HEB), fat free yogurt, apple. Tea with milk (HEA) and stevia.

Snack: Tea x3 milk (HEA) 3 walnurtt halves (HEB)

Dinner: Batchalor High Veg Mushroom and Garlic Super Pasta and an apple. Cup of coffee with milk (HEA) and stevia. Exotic fruit salad pre cut.

Tea: Braising steak stew with pepperpot (1syn) carrot, swede, gherkins, colliflower, broccoli and mustard (0.5syn)
Snack Melon 2 carrots and 2 tbsp red pepper hummus (4syns)​

Thats all for now wow it looks like i have eaten tonnes jeeze. Im sure I will have more of a rant tomorrow after all it is gym day :|.​

 

[bakingbanana]

So far my weight loss journey has been a lot like my toaster habits, I stand and watch and impatiantly press the pop up button only to have a prod and feel that's its still pale and a bit soft.
Had a hormonal breakdown about s crisp sand which but some lovrlirs on here kept me sane and I managed to back away from it and make a cup of tea and just CALM THE HELL DOWN. Lost 2 lbs last week feel I may stay the same this week as I have a Halloween shindig this weekend and although I have been saving syns I feel it may not cut it as portion size has been a bit off. Ranty rant over bad day in the kitchen. Xxxxx