The journey back to old me.

[Crazylostgirl666]

Hi there! Whoever is deciding to read this!

I am a 19-year-old was a weight problem dating back to my childhood.

My biggest weight has been 24 stone at the age of 14 and my lowest 12 stone at 16.
I am now in between at 18 stone 10lb.

Weight and me have a very obsessive, unhealthily obsessive relationship that has at different times effected every aspect of my life. It stopped me at my largest from attending school and at my lightest, being able to enjoy my weight loss as I still thought I was huge.

I overcame a lot to get where I am and to the weight I did, however I know getting to 12 stone was too low for me and 13 stone was the target I was happy with.

So now at 19-year-old actually achieving things that I was told my weight would stop me doing, I am in a very happy relationship, I have the family I never had before and I'm at university not following my exact dream as a younger me but, a new dream full of excitement.

Don't get me wrong my life isn't perfect, however its probably the best it ever has been and thats whilst being the weight I am. I guess what I'm saying is I had to gain weight and go through so weight related troubles to discover something for myself, my weight does not change who I am as a person or how my life plan plays out, It is however up to me to decide where I'm comfortable and when.

So here I am preparing to lose weight again, something I never really stopped doing but this time its for the big change, for this to work long term and be on MY terms, not like last time when the choice wasn't mine.

So, enough of the back story and to the future!

My cousin is getting married at the end of May and as she has herself just gone through slimming world and lost an AMAZING 4 stone, I am going to start back at Slimming World and myself lose some weight for hr big day!

My aim is by her wedding to reach 16 stone 7 pounds. Its going to be tough going but I am determined. Me and goals has alwas been the way forward! This diary also, because I know I am going to be writing to whoever is reading so I need to keep it up!

After my wedding goal, the goal is to get down to 14 stone by the 18th of July! That is when summer should (Hopefully!) be in the swing and I can properly get all summery this year.

I know these are pretty big targets and it could not happen buuutttt....Who doesn't like a challenge?

This is the first diary entry of many more to come!

Thanks for reading!

 

[Eastern Indigo]

Hey, awesome, you have a diary! I'll definitely be following your journey here; that is quite a challenge, but I have faith that you can make it. You seem to be in a pretty good headspace going forwards with this, good luck ! It's definitely important to be able to do this on your own terms rather than being forced into it when possible. And it's great to meet another teenager on here, I'm a year younger than you, there doesn't seem to be many in our age group.

 

[Crazylostgirl666]

Hey! Yeah there doesn't seem to be many in our age range at all! Thank you for the support It will be a challenge but a worthwhile one! Going to power through the bst I can and make it happen!

 

[booksandbacon]

I guess what I'm saying is I had to gain weight and go through so weight related troubles to discover something for myself, my weight does not change who I am as a person or how my life plan plays out, It is however up to me to decide where I'm comfortable and when.

Love this! It took me a long time to get my head in this space - best of luck on your journey, I'll definitely be keeping an eye on your diary

 

[Crazylostgirl666]

Love this! It took me a long time to get my head in this space - best of luck on your journey, I'll definitely be keeping an eye on your diary

Thank you very much!

 

[Crazylostgirl666]

Hi Guys!

Day Two of the diary.

So today's been a super fun and busy day! Trying to get out more to combat the depression so, a few friends came over to mine and my boyfriends place today to head down to the beach! (5 minutes away walking, I know I'm lucky) It's been boiling hot down here which has been one hell of a shock! A little sunburnt but will manage!

Had a good bit of exercise on the beach running about and walking through the sea, the hill alone is a heart rate challenge!

We had some food down there too and was a little naughty (not too bad though) and had a tuna sweetcorn small baguette and a small portion of chips. Other than that, been on plan today! It all counted into my calories and syns so not too worried!

Feeling really positive about everything today and even wore a swimsuit on the beach ! Granted I had a skirt on too but it was a great feeling.

Now sat in bed after a game of D&D , watching Fast and Furious whilst my lovely boyfriend shovels jaffa cakes into his mouth XP Luckily the temptation isn't strong!

So plans for tomorrow is to be even more on plan as not doing much in the way of going out anywhere. A nice day with plenty of uni work I think!

Peace out for now ;P

 

[Eastern Indigo]

Hi Guys!

Day Two of the diary.

So today's been a super fun and busy day! Trying to get out more to combat the depression so, a few friends came over to mine and my boyfriends place today to head down to the beach! (5 minutes away walking, I know I'm lucky) It's been boiling hot down here which has been one hell of a shock! A little sunburnt but will manage!

Had a good bit of exercise on the beach running about and walking through the sea, the hill alone is a heart rate challenge!

We had some food down there too and was a little naughty (not too bad though) and had a tuna sweetcorn small baguette and a small portion of chips. Other than that, been on plan today! It all counted into my calories and syns so not too worried!

Feeling really positive about everything today and even wore a swimsuit on the beach ! Granted I had a skirt on too but it was a great feeling.

Now sat in bed after a game of D&D , watching Fast and Furious whilst my lovely boyfriend shovels jaffa cakes into his mouth XP Luckily the temptation isn't strong!

So plans for tomorrow is to be even more on plan as not doing much in the way of going out anywhere. A nice day with plenty of uni work I think!

Peace out for now ;P

Glad you've had such a good day, you sound so positive, it's wonderful to hear! What are you studying at uni, if you don't mind me asking? The baguette and chips sound delicious, you're making me hungry ! It's great living so close to the beach, I do too so I know what you mean, and running through sand is amazing exercise. Oh, and well done on wearing a swimsuit!

 

[Crazylostgirl666]

Glad you've had such a good day, you sound so positive, it's wonderful to hear! What are you studying at uni, if you don't mind me asking? The baguette and chips sound delicious, you're making me hungry ! It's great living so close to the beach, I do too so I know what you mean, and running through sand is amazing exercise. Oh, and well done on wearing a swimsuit!

Hiya! I'm studying HND Game design for Industry It's an awesome course but super hard work!

I am so lucky to live where I do XD Don't you agree that the beach gives you this kick start power? It just lifts your mood and your want to do things!

 

[Crazylostgirl666]

It's me again!

Day Three!

So I decided that from now on I am going to post my daily calorie intake also! (I will add that at the end)

Today has been a really laid back day, not doing much accept adding more to my online business and the odd bit of uni work. Feeling positive about myself and am already starting to feel plus see the results! POSITIVITY OVERLOAD. Also, doing my tat design for my arm :3 Been putting it off for about 2 years now so finally getting over it and doing it!

Also been thinking about different goal points for my weight loss. So here is my current basic plan, all I did was go through important dates :

Goal 1: Relationship Anniversary- 15th May
Goal 2: My cousin's wedding - 31st May
Goal 3: The start of summer holidays- 14th June
Goal 4: Summer Chaos- 30th June
Goal 5: Main goal!- 18th July

I have only aimed up to then as I haven't worked out if I'm going to lose more, going to go by how I feel. I also haven't worked out all the weight areas yet but I am going to do that tomorrow! I really am so excited for this journey!

Right now sat watching 13 reasons why, drinking a diet coke + Captain Morgans with my perfect OH <3

So, calorie total for today is 1,076! Not bad and made sure I had plenty of protein and not too many carbs. Feeling powered today and ready for tomorrow!

Night Guys!!

 

[The Ubiquitous Mrs Smith]

Hi. Loving how positive you are. You can without doubt do this!
Why the journey back to old you though? Current/future you is fabulous!

 

[Crazylostgirl666]

Day Four!

Well here I am on day four!

So, today has not been the best, food wise yes but happiness is a little low!

Stayed up till 4:30am completely engrossed in "13 reasons why" It hit my hard if I'm honest, recommend it to anyone! Kind of made me reconsider everything in my life. Being someone with depression myself and having felt many ways which the main character did, it reminded me of a lot of things.

Anyways, other than that things are well! Food has been basic today but protein fuelled!

So I have decided my target weights!

Goal 1: Relationship Anniversary- 15th May 17 stone 3lb
Goal 2: My cousin's wedding - 31st May - 16 stone 7lb
Goal 3: The start of summer holidays- 14th June - 15 stone 11lb
Goal 4: Summer Chaos- 30th June - 15 stone
Goal 5: Main goal!- 18th July - 14 stone

So, tough going but I am going to do this! I CAN do this! XD

Putting in some mini targets too:

Mini target 1: 18th April- 18stone 3lb
Mini target 2: 25th April - 17 stone 11lb

Lets hope this all works out! I am determined that this will work, I KNOW it will! Time to power on!!!!!!

Well I am going to be busy tomorrow going for walks and focusing on uni work!

See ya tomorrow diary and diary readers! Sleep well <3

 

[Crazylostgirl666]

Hello!

It is Day 5! (However a little late!)

You may wonder why I am up so late, this is due to me watching Les Miserables (aka one of my fave films)

Well, today has been pretty busy and not GREAT food wise but not awful!

Went out on a dog walk with a friend and then a chill at the beach!

Had chips at the beach cafe WOOPS. But hey, it was a treat! However, with the cider maybe not a treat and instead an over induldge!

BUT I do have something to celebrate!.... 4 POUNDS OFF THIS WEEK XD

I am so glad it is all still going with the weight loss and I am now developing a balance with strictness and normal life.

Cals at 1,002 today! Hoping that clawed back the treats!

Also have the mission of my first night out in TEN MONTHS on saturday! Anyone got low cal alcohol suggestions?

Night night peeps

 

[Crazylostgirl666]

Hey hey! Sorry for the absence!

So, had massive family troubles the last week...It has been a hard time and just haven't had the time to get into this.

Also, fell off the food wagon :/ Going to get back on to it tomorrow! Staying positive! It was an unavoidable blip but we shall carry on!

I am intending tomorrow to get back in a routine as I have ordered a food delivery and am ready to attack this head on! Haven't weighed yet but I shall tomorrow and update you guys!

So moral of the story, blips happen, life happens but I am carrying on!

I am thinking a 4 pound gain :/ But due to time of the month (oh the joys) could be more!

So tomorrow we shall be back on it!!!!