This year has started very, very bad for us ...

[SLACK ALICE]

As per my other post, I didnt want to clog it up with my worries, so I'll put it here where i could do with some advice, help, guidance - call it whatever, but right now i dont know what to do, say or think...
please read

on the wednesday before christmas i went to work at night and as i was going up the hill the van slid on ice and then it slid down the hill sideways - very scary then the van came to a halt - called hubby to come get me - he came and then another car appeared at the top of the hill and the guy got out and walked down the hill and told me if i didnt move my van then he would....by ramming his car into the side of it !!!. OMg IT was very frightening. As hubby was getting out of van he slipped on ice and hurt his arm. On Christmas day hubby was moaning that his arm was hurting -so we went to A and E, turns out he had broken it and had been at work the day before lifting stretchers and made it worse. Anyway we managed to get the van turned around and back down the hill. I couldnt go to work as the other hill was too bad to go up aswell. My eldest daughter arrived to see if she could help but we was fine.

Then daughters MIL phoned to tell them that Daughters boyfriends workshops had been broken into and all his welding things had been stolen - there was thousands of pounds worth of stuff in there, so we was all gutted, they found fingerprints and blood etc- and this week they have finally caught the thieving bleeders..
.....So finally could this year get started??
NO !!
this week my hubby foned me at work to tell me Alec had died... I just totally lost it.. Alec is my brother !!...I just couldnt do anything ...I slammed the fone down on him and ran of the desk to find another fone ... and when i did he then explained to me that he did say it was my uncle Alec (whom i dont really know) and that he wouldnt have foned me anyway to tell me that my brother had died- so you can well imagine what my heart was doing ... I was in a right state...
THen yesterday i went into work and i said hello to a friend and she said 'hi' and i said'hi' ...then she said had i heard about Trish?.. I immediately thought that my other friend of 26 yrs(Trish)had finally left her lazy, good for nothing husband. who lays in his bed all day and does nothing, Trish does it all - as in all of it - even going out and cutting wood for the house whilst he lays in bed Her 3 kids treat her like crap and dont respect her and one of her brothers uses her as a babysitting service and has done for the past 11 years!!... But Trish being Trish never says no...
So I said to this friend 'No, whats happened'..?......
she told me that Trish has tried to kill herself - with a gun OMG
My heart was pounding, my head thumping i wanted to throw up ...I had this vision in my head... and i just stood there in the middle of the foyer in Tescos crying... I went out the back , i couldnt breathe, god what do i do ???
I didnt know what to do ,,,I couldnt talk .I was just crying over and over again...how the hell did things get that bad for her to do that ??
My boss got someone to take me home and i walked in the house..hubby said why you home? you ok?, have you crashed the car? etc .. in the end I told him it wasnt me or the bloody car it was Pat (friends name is Patricia, some call her Pat ,others call her Trisha- same person though)
he asked what.. and i couldnt speak i was just blubbering and mumbling????
I told him and he was so shocked it was unreal

WE managed to phone her other brother and arranged to go see her in hospital.
Omg ,she is in such a mess, I have never seen so many tubes and machines , when we walked in she was asleep in ICU and i just looked at her and thought OMg Pat what have you done.?
The nurse woke her and asked if it was ok to see us (as she has been turning people away) and she said yes. I went over and held her hand ..OMG Shes in a mess. She obviously meant to kill herself but she missed , but took part of her face off.OMG Both me and hubby didnt know wot to say to her and we said this to her (she is unable to talk but the nurses have given her pen and paper). She just replied ,''not a lot to say '' :cry::cry:
I cant believe she has done this - why on hell if things were that bad ,didnt she just get out, but not that way please, I just dont what to say, its bad. It turns out that her lazy git of a husband has accused her of having affairs (she never would) and then to make thing worse her son started accusing her aswell ... Imean what kind of idiots are these ?
Pat being pat will just shrug it all off and just say ''oh well'' !! But its not fine she should never had gone this far. its so wrong- she has 3 kids and a granddaughter . AARRGGHG I just feel I need to blame someone , she shouldnt be like this
its so sad , its just not right.
You see I dont know what to say or do for the best.. I keep going over how she did it in my head, cos obvioulsy it was told to us in a lot more detailed way than I have put on here. but i'm just muddled and scared for her , I feel lost and i dunno what I feel - shes a friend .....
sorry

 

[x.squiggy.x]

Hi,
I just wanted to say that im sorry your having a bad time with it all at the moment. Unforntuatley i cannot help or give guidence. The only thing i can say is, no matter how bad you feel about your friend there is nothing you can do. If she did not come to you in the first place what could you have done? All you can do now is be there for her and be a true friend, she will be needing that more than anything as she makes her recovery.
I am so sorry for what you have been through recently, and i know that what i have said is not going to help, but just know there are people out there that will be thinking of you. x

 

[suepat10]

I really don't know what to say or suggest but I really want to send you and your friend an absolutely HUGE hug. What a terrible time for you xxxx

 

[DisneyMumma]

Huge hugs from over here. I can sympathise to a degree, as the last 3 Christmas’s and new years have been hell for us and I know that you never understand how you can manage to get from one day to the next; but somehow you manage. And you will get through it; take it one day at a time.

If you are interested in some of my reasons for being able to understand, then read on (although again not pretty); otherwise just close the message now and big warm fluffy hugs to you.



For us, it started a couple of years ago where one of my Grandmothers was diagnosed with Cancer; she quickly went downhill and we had to look after her in her home until she passed away as she didn’t want to be in a hospital.

Shortly after this my other Grandmother had a stroke at which point she barely knew who we were. This deteriorated until she eventually passed away which we were very grateful for in the end; both for us and her.

My husbands mother decided to leave his father a while back also as he had depression, he then decided to slit his wrists as he didn’t want to be without her. Rob (my husband) only found him as we had been a little worried and I made him go and check on him. We then had all the ambulance and hospital stuff to sort out, along with 6 months of visits and getting him help until he was well enough to come back out. You just have to be patient with your friend, as we were with his dad; try and get her to talk or write about it if possible and just generally be there for her as much as possible. But in the end, if she won't take your help then there is nothing you can do about it no matter how much you care for her; just be there for her in case she changes her mind.

Shortly after he came out (really not good timing), he was diagnosed with a bone marrow Cancer that we were originally told would only give him 6 months. We managed to talk him round in to having various treatments which have meant using our entire combined years holiday allowance from work to take him to various hospital visits to London etc, and after a year he was finally given the all clear for now; although they have said that it WILL come back they just can’t say when. When it does he is adamant that he will not be having any more treatment.

My mother has brittle bones, and has broken her wrist twice in the last 2 years, and each time we have to take over doing her housework, driving her around and doing the shopping etc.

I have had 3 miscarriages, and have also been diagnosed with having Antiphospholipid syndrome which is a blood disorder that causes clotting and can cause miscarriages; the good news is I have been able to have a daughter finally but it has been extremely hard going as I had more than 80 hospital appointments when pregnant for various injections, tests, scans etc

And so far this year it has just been unbearable. We have slept for possibly 5 nights total since the beginning of the year, as my daughter’s Asthma has got an awful lot worse and has meant her needing various steroid treatments; she isn’t able to sleep at night as she keeps coughing, and therefore neither can we. This has been mixed in with calls from Rob’s dad who needed us to call an ambulance at 3 in the morning for him as he was having heart problems. Not such a bad thing when he can at least sleep; but after that amount of not sleeping you really can’t cope.

Anyway, I’m sure there is more but I think this is more than adequate. Just know that you are not on your own, and please feel free to email me or leave more messages on here if you want to talk.

Hugs
Jacqui

 

[ilovelife]

I know it is slightly strange to think but at least oyur friend might get some help now

 

[Jules D]

I'm really sorry you've had such an awful start to the year. I can't offer any great words of wisdom but all you can do is make sure that your friend knows that you are there for her. Hopefully in time she will be able to talk to you about how she has been feeling and she can get through this.

Jules
x

 

[lupuscow]

I know its tough, but maybe your friend has realised that she made a mistake, and is strong enough to get through her troubles now. My godmother took a huge overdose when her husband had an affair, she has 2 grown up children and it wasn't until she came round in hospital after alot of treatment she realised she didn't want to die and she began to pick herself up. her friends were around her and just supported her when she wanted them. Just being there when she needs you is the most you can do for her.

 

[Donnie46]

Sending hugs and best wishes to you, and I hope your luck changes very soon. X

 

[Littleslimmingbee]

Gosh i am so so so sorry for you.. ((HUGS)) massive massive hugs and positive vibes coming your way.

Alot of these gals on here now what a rough up and down year i'v had (2009) and i can assure you that what i'v posted on here is nothing close to the heartache and difficult times i have suffered through my childhood. I can totally sympathise.

theres not much i can say to make any of this any better. But writing it all out was deffinatly a good idea... just take some time for you. xox

 

[malaika]

I am so sorry you have had such a bad time.
Just be there for your friend. There is nothing more you can do.
I had a terrible 2009, but things do get better. Have a hug, and positive thought to you!

 

[klare]

just sending really big love, hugs, anything that will do a bit of healing ...it will get better eventually because life never stays the same.. so hang on in there and keep treading water until the tide decides to turn in your direction. xxxxxxxxxx

 

[charlottegrace1]

I am so sorry about your problems and sorry to hear of your friends problems too. All I can say is that sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before things can start to get better and, although this may sound strange, your friend may be in the best place now to get the help she needed before this tragic event. Sending you both positive hugs and vibes.