Totally panicking

[Nina41]

I Am about to go to brazil for 3 weeks (22/03 to 17/04) and I was already super tense about it cause all we do there is eat... Now I was just told we my booked 5 days in a 5star hotel... If that wasn't enough, that is what we call a school-hotel where they post graduate CHEFS! I have been there and it's like drowning in delicious food... All you can eat, 5 meals a day... Over 30 different kinds of deserts. It's my worst nightmare.
My parents saw me freaking out through Skype and already said "don't you think about dieting, you will be on holiday". It easy for them to say, they take diet pills so it doesn't matter how much they eat. They seem to forget it took me loooooooog 20weeks of extremely hard work to loose 10 little pounds.

I am really panicking. I do not want to throw all my work down the drain but I am not sure I can be trusted around so much food. I just feel like crying. This is a really serious issue and yet my family laughs about it.

 

[SilverSilph]

Oh you poor thing! That would be stressful for any dieter!

Can you organise fun day trips? Try and keep away from the hotel except for maybe breakfast? Would eating in lovcal restaurants be easier? Maybe brazilian grills?

 

[Elisheba]

You should try and chose the Dukan-friendly food and if you really, really want to try a dessert..... you can!
But, just ONE serving.
You will not gain weight if you do that.

 

[Elisheba]

And of course, strict Dukan diet when you return from your trip!

 

[Nina41]

Silver, we will be in the hotel all the time because 1 there is everything there (pools etc) and 2 because my parents, brother and sis want to spend as much time as they can with my kids. Plus, it's all inclusive so we already paid a fortune for all the food.

Elisheba, that is my problem. It's like asking an alcoholic not to drink in an open bar party. I know I can eat one and I only want to eat one but, will I be able to control myself?

Would an hour on the treadmill be enough to burn some calories? I could also take some xenical....

 

[Joydriven]

Yikes! What a dilemma! No wonder you're freaking out. At first I was going to say if you have to have a nightmare, this is the one to have, but really!

It sounds like there are two major issues. One, you and your own impulses and controlling them. That's mangeable? Certainly, many vacations are done by Dukanites? There're must be strategies, I'm not experienced enough to recommend.

Two, and for me this would be the biggest, is your parents. I really get irritated when, trying to accomplish something for the good, no matter if it's dieting, reprimanding children, pets, breaking old habits for improvement, to be undermined by those very ones dear to me. They're the ones I'd hope to rely on for support and strength. But, alas, there it is. And it sounds like your parents have their own eating issues. So, for me, that's where I would have the discussion. Either directly with them as in, this is super important for me, this is what I need from you if you care about me, this is what I expect. Either agree, see my kids and me, allow me my own choices or I'm not able to go on this trip at this time. If this has already been said or know it will not be honored, then it's a matter of going and chalking the whole thing up to a big life lesson. How to survive with your wishes for yourself as intact as they can be with where you are on your own passage of growth.

Sometimes those experiences are the exact ones which cause growth to reach our goals. And the failing at them is just as important as the final success.

Can you tell I've been where you've been? Gotta love family, I do I do. But, wowzers, sometimes!

 

[Nina41]

Joy, where do i start??? Better not!

Believe me, if I could not go, I wouldn't. I know I sound really ungrateful but just find it hard to stay around food. I am a very strong willed person (who would stick to a diet like this day in day out to lose 2lbs a month? Not many...) but at home I have my strategies. When I diet I simply do not buy sugary foods. I focus only on what I can eat. Plus, not having my mother around makes it easier to diet. But, get the combination family stress+holiday+good food I honestly don't know if I can resist.

I don't know if I sound stupid but I really can't stop thinking about it. I heard the news from my mum at 6 and at 6:30 I was already at the gym even though I had just arrived home tired and had a massive headache. This is how panicking I am...

 

[Nina41]

This is a picture of the deserts...

 

[xeilidhx]

Every time you ignore something that you'd give your right arm for, treat yourself to something non-food related! At the moment mine is jewellery. I liked the phrase I saw on here "only eat it if you know you'll look back and not regret it"- I'm like you, it's all or nothing. I either ignore bad food and don't buy it or binge and there's no middle ground. Having support around from family members would help though, and I understand that's not always possible. Good luck! X

 

[Elisheba]

Oh, that is cruel... those desserts are ....

I went to USA for a month last year and I survived dinner invitations and even Thanksgiving ( yams!)

I'd say treadmill and swimming or other exercises you can do are only going to help you!

Enjoy you time there!

 

[Elisheba]

No, really!
Those desserts look fantastic!
I would pick one, enjoy it and then swim for an hour to burn off calories!

 

[Joydriven]

Oh, my. I do not know the reason why, but those desserts truly do not appeal to me. Somewhere along the way, I've lost my sweet tooth and never would I ever imagine that possible! But, when I see those, all I see is future fat jiggling on my thighs. sigh. I've become one of those. People who can take or leave desserts like that.

I guess it is possible to no longer be attracted to things never thought possible. I think I'm finally beginning to unravel years of misplaced desire. I so much do not want to be as I have been.

Probably no help at all to you Nina. Except to say that it is possible. And I never, ever would have thought so.

 

[Supertonic]

I can see your difficulty and I don't just mean the gorgeous desserts......!

The thing is, it's only you that controls what goes in your body, no matter what other stuff is going on, and no matter how provoked you may feel. Your parents can't force you to eat, and you are no longer a child. Sounds like you will need to set some ground rules right at the start about what your needs and wishes are, however whacky/unpopular it will be with rest of family. Is your partner supportive? You don't mention their attitude towards your parents overpowering efforts.

It is possible to steer a way through the 5* food jungle without putting on the pounds, but it will require a bit of ingenuity and self control. The buffets will be reasonably easy because you just pile up your plate with Dukan friendly stuff, and there will be that I'm sure - plain meats, fish, salads etc. Grilled meats are also a safe bet. Once you've filled up on those, one small pudding or a piece of fruit, whatever causes the least damage. Sit down meals are probably the most difficult because sometimes the food comes swamped in oils or fatty sauces, you'll need to find friendly waiters to help you make the right choices. That's also part of hotel school training so they should be good with that.

Try not to let your parents ruin your holiday, easier said than done, I know. Relax, it'll be ok

I'd avoid xenical if I was you, causes all sorts of gastric upsets and could really make you unpleasantly ill. Stick to the oatbran, much safer.

 

[Nina41]

What I can't stop thinking is, if dieting I don't loose or loose extremely slowly, what's gonna happen to me on holiday?

 

[alottolose]

Nina, your BMI is quite healthy - perhaps that's why you're losing slowly - I know it's difficult for us to assess our own bodies we're pre-programmed not be satisfied...

but do you really actually NEED to lose anymore weight?

I only ask as your current BMI is lower than my goal BMI which is about right for me else I'll end up too thin x

 

[robinhood]

Those puds look lovely, they really do BUT they don't taste as good as they look (never do unless they're home-made)!

I agree with the above posts - your parents want to spend time with you and your children, then it has to be on your terms too - even though they want to do X, Y and Z (ie eat, stay at the resort, eat, eat some more) you have your say too and should be able to find a middle ground (some excursions, some healthy eating, some overindulging).

Enjoy the buffets, I'm sure you can find Dukan-friendlyish things (or go Atkins if you can't) and tell yourself you can have dessert twice a week (gala meals) and savour them. The chances are, you won't enjoy them as much as you once did (I no longer enjoy pasta, can have a normal portion of cheese whereas before I ate three times that and no longer eat 100gr of chocolate at a sitting, I'm sure others have similar experiences).

 

[Nina41]

Robin, they are homemade by people post graduating on a chef course! I have been there before and one desert is better then the other! Not only that but they vary every meal and they are deserts that I can't find here! Plus they taste like comfort food!

My parents don't support me because (like me) they can't understand why I can't eat non stop one week and diet the next. They do that and it works for them (they "forget" they take some pills to help burn fat etc....) when we travel around England, my mum ate like there was no tomorrow. I ate carefully (avoiding fat, sugar etc). After 10 days I put on 6 pounds and she put on 1.....

But I am my biggest enemy, "I" am my biggest problem! Of course I can choose the best options and eat with moderation but will I?
The savoury really doesn't scare me. The breakfast and the sweets are my problem. I can see myself turning the "all or nothing" button and eating until I feel sick.

I know this is something I will have to do alone but it is really nice to share with people that understand. My husband thinks I'm being silly and I just have to control myself. I wish it was that simple...

 

[DeeCe]

But I am my biggest enemy, "I" am my biggest problem! Of course I can choose the best options and eat with moderation but will I?
The savoury really doesn't scare me. The breakfast and the sweets are my problem. I can see myself turning the "all or nothing" button and eating until I feel sick.

I know this is something I will have to do alone but it is really nice to share with people that understand. My husband thinks I'm being silly and I just have to control myself. I wish it was that simple...

I completely understand how you feel!! I binge it.. and when I spoke to my Boyfriend he was like "why?" "control yourself" and he just doesn't understand.. but I can't explain it?! I have that "all or nothing" thing too

 

[Joydriven]

Ok, sorry in advance. I don't usually do this and hope it doesn't come off as insensitive or telling off. But,

Stop telling yourself that younare "this way".
Start catching yourself when you say you ...binge it...have no on/off switch...you are your own biggest enemy.
If anything make sure you add...until now...after each above self talk thought.

Trust me, I need to heed my own advice. Because years after year of that kind of thought pattern does not go away. If ever because we are humans. But I try to catch myself and correct the thought to...I can...I am...something positive, future forward. That alone gives me so much more strength than the other thought type.

 

[Nina41]

Thats EXACTLY what my husband said and I had never thought about that before he said it. He said "if you could change the way you see exercise, you can change the way you see food".
I spent my life telling myself I couldn't exercise, that I felt tired, that I could never do it before so I never will blabla bla and I BELIEVED IT !
however, in the last 4 weeks, because conso scared me, I have been really pushing myself at the gym to a certain extend that I don't recognise myself. I never thought I would want to go to the gym and now I do.

I know you are right...