Jié Xī
Full Member
Hello again. It's been awhile . . . but I'm back.
I've seriously lost the same 5 pounds four times already this year. I'm 172 again. My lowest this year so far was 162 (Feb). Shot back up to 172. Got back to 165 (March). Shot back to 172+. Got back to 167. Shot back to 172. Then 165 (Apr). And now back to 172.
I've wanted to lose weight and be a size that I felt good at since my early teen years. I basically dieted my whole life and only actually reached goal twice (once at 19 -- 138 lbs) and once in my early 30's (hit 129, but maintained 134 for a year). The rest of my life and every time I had a pic taken (every vacation, every Christmas, etc.), I felt shame and swore that next time I would be at goal. Obviously, that only happened twice.
We went on family mini-vaca the week before last and hubby took a pic of me with the kiddos and it will never see the light of day. But in that moment I realized that I am going to be 43 this summer. And I will be d@mned if I spend the rest of my 40's chasing the same elusive dream of my 20's and 30's, I will NOT turn 50 and think "Wow, I spent my whole life trying to lose weight and failed . . . my whole life on a diet, hating how I looked."
So. Yea. This is it. We are going on vacation (the same cabin) again the last week in September and I WILL be at goal (<139.9) by then. And I will maintain that weight at least until menopause (not sure if I can force my body not to gain after that, lol).
I've seriously lost the same 5 pounds four times already this year. I'm 172 again. My lowest this year so far was 162 (Feb). Shot back up to 172. Got back to 165 (March). Shot back to 172+. Got back to 167. Shot back to 172. Then 165 (Apr). And now back to 172.
I've wanted to lose weight and be a size that I felt good at since my early teen years. I basically dieted my whole life and only actually reached goal twice (once at 19 -- 138 lbs) and once in my early 30's (hit 129, but maintained 134 for a year). The rest of my life and every time I had a pic taken (every vacation, every Christmas, etc.), I felt shame and swore that next time I would be at goal. Obviously, that only happened twice.
We went on family mini-vaca the week before last and hubby took a pic of me with the kiddos and it will never see the light of day. But in that moment I realized that I am going to be 43 this summer. And I will be d@mned if I spend the rest of my 40's chasing the same elusive dream of my 20's and 30's, I will NOT turn 50 and think "Wow, I spent my whole life trying to lose weight and failed . . . my whole life on a diet, hating how I looked."
So. Yea. This is it. We are going on vacation (the same cabin) again the last week in September and I WILL be at goal (<139.9) by then. And I will maintain that weight at least until menopause (not sure if I can force my body not to gain after that, lol).