When people say stuff...

[Becktoria79]

I saw my German grandmother today and she is outrageous. She has always been obsessed with weight. Her own weight, my weight, anyone in her families weight. So it is something I expect when I see her, to have my weight commented on. Today was no exception. As I walked over to greet her "hello skinny minnie" this would have been nice then followed by, to my brother who is overweight but fortunately not hung up on it like me, "don't worry, you'll lose it too Tom! " I can't believe she said this! my brother showed no reaction but it upset me.
Later on she said to me "well you can't have anymore weight to lose" and I replied saying I wanted to lose about another half stone. She then actually got up, stood behind me looked at my bum and said "well maybe a kilo or two!"
I love my grandma very much but I do think things like this are a big factor of my issues with weight and food. The ironic thing is that while we were there she just kept trying to feed us!

Me and my brother are not the only ones with weight problems in the family. My dad is very big and my aunt always has been, and a couple of my younger cousins too. My grandmother herself i can never remember being overweight but has always been on some diet or other. From cabbage soup to herbilife. Just makes me think a bit that's all. My grandma has lived in Germany most of my life but I did always feel when I saw her that my size was commented on. That's not very healthy is it?
Sorry if that's a bit deep. X

 

[Purpled]

I find people like this are very self conscious about there own weight (although they will never admit it) so take it out on others!

It's a disgusting way to behave! But I guess you can never change that part of her. I know it is hard to do but you need to not take notice and realise its her problem and not yours.

Or maybe when she mentions weight again bring it back to her.....offend her back! Hmmm that may be mean of me. I just think if she's your grandma I guess she's pretty old and she's always been that way so she will never change.


There is this big lady at my work that keeps bringing up my weight.....like every other day! Whenether I eat she is like....arnt you gonna have more...your wasting away. Or 'should you be eating that chocolate' I just wanna punch her! Saying she thought I looked better when I weighed more.....I just replied ' I'm still overweight, I'm doing this for my health' blah she annoys me. Anyway last week she p****d me off that much I just said 'will you stop talking about food and my weight, it's my body and I will do what I want' she hasn't said anything since.

 

[Becktoria79]

Well done you! I do find that sometimes when people like that say you are losing too much weight it is because they see you succeeding where they are not. I do believe that sometimes you can lose too much weight but I think most people want to be in a healthy range and I know what mine is as I'm sure you know yours!

As for my grandma, she has always been like that. It's water off a ducks back now although I used to get offended and upset when I was in my teens. I honestly don't think she realises what she is saying could be seen as hurtful. She is lovely in many ways but is very much obsessed with weight! I don't see her often enough to bring it up as an issue as she lives in Germany and is getting older. It's just a little bit exasperating sometimes! X

 

[Purpled]

Sounds like you may just have to grit your teeth and bear it.

But not take offence.

 

[astara]

Well meaning people huh? the ones who think a comment or observation will 'make someone change'. I had a similar experience when I met my OH's mother for the first time years ago. He was in the kitchen helping her make a cuppa when I heard her say 'oooh your cousin Susan had the same affliction as 'astara', but she went to a slimming club and lost all the weight'. I remember thinking ouch! But too polite to say anything. Then for months she would pass over slimming or low fat cookbooks to me (leftovers from the W.I meetings she said) until I moaned to my OH and they stopped!

But this is for me, my OH is supportive and (he says) doesn't care whether I lose weight but knows its what I want-oh he is such a man sitting on that fence lol.

 

[Becktoria79]

Ooh that's harsh! At least I have had 33 years to accept my grandma's tactlessness, I can't believe she said that to your OH after your first meeting!
It's good that your OH is supportive, mine says the same, I don't think he really cares if I lose weight or not but wants me to be happy. Must surround ourselves with the positive rather than the negative! Good luck on your journey. X

 

[Purpled]

People Suck!

I'd never behave this way to other people.....what makes people's brains all twisted and weird!

 

[astara]

I think it comes down to what they despise in others is actually what they despise in themselves. They say life is like a mirror, and I think these people that attack others for whatever reason have insecurities themselves.

 

[Purpled]

But I have a lot of insecurities and you are right I look at my own insecurities in other people! I am always comparing myself! Bit never would I tell someone they looks ugly or fat!