White Tulip approaches 40 and 10 stone to lose

[White Tulip]

Well, here goes.

After many years of thinking this site was called 'Mini Mums' and thinking I couldn't join because I have children and the site was about being a Mum I now realise I was a bit wrong.....cough...need to get my eyes tested...

This site could well be the making of me now I know what it is really about!!! I love writing online diaries (I'm well known on MSE for my diary writing when I was debt busting ) and they have really helped me keep focused in the past.

This then, in one way feels great - reducing my weight through a diary. It also feels a bit odd because I don't yet know anyone, but I really hope that over time I can make as many friends on here as I have elsewhere online.

I have a LOT of weight to shift. Yes, my starting figure is correct.

I was very slim until I was 14 and then it slowly - and then not so slowly crept on as they years went by. Basically my age and dress size pretty much went hand in hand until I was 30.

I lost just over 4 stone in 2004/2005 with SW but then it all piled back on - along with even more following a bad time in my life and it's just kept spiralling. I've never been at any kind of target weight as an adult.

However, I decided after Christmas to start telling myself (again!) to get motivated and a week ago I started back on SW, going it alone with a dog eared old book and lots of googling to get the knowledge back in my head.

I'm 40 in May :cry:and will also be on holiday at the same time so my initial goal is 2 stone by the time I go on holiday in May.

First weigh in tomorrow, I am hopeful it will be a good start.

 

[White Tulip]

My first discovery since re-starting - Magic Porridge. How could this have passed me by for all these years?

I also managed to burn dinner being so engrossed in reading another diary - didn't realise that rice could burn.......rescued and now carrying on cooking

 

[White Tulip]

First weigh in and 7 pounds off. Am pleased with that and am going to aim for 2 pound next week. I know my body and after the first week I quickly slip to pound or so, even with such a huge amount to look at reducing.

I love Magic Porridge I was quite sceptical at the thought of eating cold porridge oats soaked in mullerlight but it's great!

Red day today. I prefer green days but the weight is very slow to come off if I have all green days so I'm trying to have more red days than green.

 

[OzzieMoz]

Just a quick visit to say hello and well done on your first week! 7lbs is a great start and must be a real boost! I'm like you and prefer green days, although I do mix them up with Extra Easy days which are most convenient in a family situation I find. I'm saving red days for an emergency if my weight loss stalls.

Anyway, just thought I'd say hello as sometimes I know it can feel a bit weird sitting there typing away to yourself - but I find it helps keep me focussed.

Good luck for the week ahead! :fingerscrossed:

 

[pitipe]

My first discovery since re-starting - Magic Porridge. How could this have passed me by for all these years?D

Whats Magic porridge? Is it just the normal quakers porridge oats in the yoghurt?

Congrats on the 7lb

 

[White Tulip]

thankyou OzzieMoz and pitipe

Magic Porridge (as I've discovered!) is literally 1 ounce of porridge oats mixed into a mullerlight and left in the fridge overnight - it was great! I've got tomorrow's bowl 'marinating' already.

In the past (when I went to class in the evening), I've given myself the night off SW on the day I weigh in, but because I'm weighing in first thing, I'm going to try not to give myself the day off!! I've had a couple of extras today (a toffee muffin whoops) but actually thinking it through, apart from that I don't think I've strayed too much - let's be brave and write it down!!

Red day
Magic porridge - 1 x heb and free
banana - free

2x jam wagon wheels - not sure of syn value - about 6 each?
1x cherry/choc mullerlight - 2 syns

ham/salad - free
yet another mullerlight - free

3 light laughing cows and just under an ounce of castello blue - perhaps count that as 2xhea? Can't see it being 1x hea even though I've had only 3 laughing cows.

6 pumpkin ryvita - the other heb and 6 syns

dinner will be pork bolognaise, no pasta etc - free

Actually, not too bad for a 'day off'!! 3.5 syns over, plus the syns in the castello blue if I can't wangle it as a hea, so probably another 4 syns.

I can live with that !

 

[White Tulip]

oo-er. Jam Wagon Wheels are 8 each! So syns today

2x Jam wagon wheel = 16
4x ryvita = 6
cherry/choc muller = 2
tiny bit of castello blue = 5?

hmm, 29 syns - whoops! :sigh: Going to have to curb my jam Wagon Wheel obession I fear.........

Could have been worse........I half considered a pizza takeaway tonight......

 

[White Tulip]

struggling a little today. I have a long day today (work all day and then an evening job on a Tuesday) and just have an hour at home before I shoot off. Started off with a red day but won't want much when I get in around 9.30 so decided to swap to EE and have jacket potato with beans when I get in. That means less HE's and I had oats as a heb, then came home an felt the need to EAT and had 4 ryvitas with around 2 ounces of philly light, little bit of ham and also beetroot. I had 3 small cookies as my syns whilst at work so the ryvitas are 6 syns on top of the 3 cookies. My book says 4.5 each for a generic chocolate cookie. I think they were the Maryland ones.

Means I've gone around 2 or 3 syns over today in addition to the 14 or so yesterday. I could do with having a syn free day really at some point soon.

 

[White Tulip]

Busy day life-wise.

Got my Race for Life number - gulp. Never done one, far too fat, unfit and scared to be involved in anything like that before. However, I am determined to do one and will walk it and don't care if I am last. I want just 1 medal for something sport related in my life!

Had a medical today. I was in a car accident in December and damaged my back. Was seen today as part of the insurance claim. He said I had 'a long way to go' and was going to have me do lots of physio and if it hadn't got much better in a few months, he would refer me to a consultant to look at surgery. I have an old, existing back condition, I was very ill in 2001 and turned down surgery preferring life-long management so I am determined that physio will be the answer.

Good day, SW wise. No syns so just about evened out the week so far. Gone EE again, as I felt the need for something starchy and had one of the free pasta n sauces. TOTM is just rearing its head so a difficult couple of days ahead. I take tablets for each month being heavy and it's no fun. However, hopefully any retained water will be gone by weigh in on Monday.

 

[White Tulip]

Had a 4 stick kit kat I shouldn't have had today. Bit silly of me really as I ate it and then the 2 wagon wheels I'd planned to have as my syns (I was going to forget the fact I would be 1 over my syn limit!)

Already feeling a bit 'I'm going to maintain' about my next weigh in on Monday. It isn't a logical feeling as I've been (mostly!) good and it's only week 2 and I have a huge amount to lose. However, I feel a bit 'sludgy' in myself and whilst that could be water retention, I also feel it is because I'm not losing this week.

 

[White Tulip]

not the most successful of days.

Got on the scales and apparently I've put on 2 pound! That (hopefully!) has to be due to TOTM currently happening. That p'd me off a bit and I had 3 chocolate biscuits later in the morning. And some cake. My feeling of impending maintaining feels even more pressing today.

Then part of me thinks - has it really been that bad a day?

I've had

magic porridge - free and heb

Ham salad - free
laughing cow light - hea
melon - free
mullerlight - free

Syns.......cough

skinny cow hot chocolate - 1.5
3xmilk choc digestives - 13.5
slice of homemade cake someone brought in - who knows how many syns!
The contents of a graze box which was mostly raisins and dried strawberries - ouch.

Planning to have a pasta n sauce with skimmed milk and some butter beans for dinner to make today another EE day. I've got a beef bolognaise cooking but I'll refridgerate that until tomorrow night.

It could have been much worse. I had a rubbish day at work and nearly bought a bottle of rose on the way home but didn't. Phew.

 

[White Tulip]

not a bad day, although the scales still say I've gained See what happens on Monday morning.

Quite pleased in that in the past I've always done green days at the weekend so I can pig out on pasta n sauce, SW chips and loads of starch. I've had a red day today (I lose weight quicker on red days) and it's been fine.

I did have a depressing thought in bed this morning. Last time I did SW 'properly' I was 2.5 stone lighter starting weight than now. I was 20 stone 9 that time and my start weight this time was 23 stone 4

I got down to 16.5 stone in 6 months from 20 stone 9 and that is kind of where I'd like to be by October (second holiday of the year in October), but I still have a huge amount to lose before I can even get to my old starting weight before I start thinking about the long climb to 16.5 stone!

My OH is not the most supportive of people. When I'm not on a diet he is constantly verbally having a dig at me and when I am and the weight is slow to come off I get 'it should be falling off you'.

 

[White Tulip]

Lasted 2 weeks!! Weigh in 2 tomorrow! Glad to have got this far without any horrific binges. Got on the scales again (i know, I know) and they seem to have finally started to go back down again. I gave myself a target of 2 pounds off this week but I might struggle.

I have 2 wardobes and 1 large drawer stuffed full of clothing. I wear about 10% (if that) of it at the moment, there are a few 18's and then all the way up to a top which is a size 30. I even put it all into size order about a year ago. There's stuff with tags on it that never fit when I bought it. Such lovely clothing. I really hope I get to wear some of it this time.

 

[CyberRuby]

-

I wish you well for tomorrow - I'm another one who weighs myself every day, I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as you don't let it get you down if things aren't progressing as you hope. I think it can help reduce the danger of veering wildly off course if you have had a really good week but the official weigh-in says you've STS or gained. Plus it helps you realise just how much your weight can fluctuate in only a few hours, and that at the end of the day the numbers on the scales aren't everything; two weeks without binging for a food addict is a massive deal (speaking from experience!)

Keep on truckin!

-

 

[White Tulip]

thankyou cyberuby xx

I was very surprised and pleased to get on this morning and it says 3.5 off I got on again to check!! 10.5 off in 2 weeks

I would love to be at the 1 stone off mark by the end of March so I'm going to really try to get 4 more pounds off by then. For this week I'm going to aim for 1.5 pounds, week 3 is often a difficult week for me - the 'you've done so well' voice starts to make its first appearances! My body also goes into fight mode and the quick losses will stop either this coming week or the one after and then the really hard work begins.

 

[White Tulip]

The last couple of days have been a bit of a struggle. On the positive side I feel I'm weaning myself off a couple of bad habits I had before I started (ie going to the shop for my lunch and buying a wrap, a sandwich, crisps and cake/chocolate!) and my portion control is really good. However, I have still gone over my syn allowance for the last 3 days. Today was allowance+ a slice of caramel shortbread yesterday was allowance+ a couple of chocolate coated biscuits and Tuesday was allowance plus about 4 or 5 chocolate biscuits.

This isn't the end of the world and I am really pleased with myself in lots of other ways. I'm enjoying the salads I'm making for my lunch and I haven't opened either of the bottles of rose I was given as a gift on Monday!

I need to keep repeating the positives and not dwell on what isn't the hugest negative in the world.

I do need to stock up a little - although I have lots of frozen meat, pasta, rice etc I'm getting low on yohghurts and a few other bits and if I can't just dive in and eat something when I need to , I start to get a bit more obsessed about eating something - anything.

 

[White Tulip]

I can't decide if I'm doing well or on the verge of falling off the wagon. I've stayed on plan for almost 3 weeks which is good, the scales say I've gained but I need to remember this happened last week and the Monday result - the one that counts - is the one that matters. I keep hearing a tiny voice in my head saying 'takeaway' and 'you've done so well, have some chocolate'........sigh......I must not listen to the voices in my head

I've had a delivery from Asda which helps with the munchies and I'm having a green day today, good job really because I feel like eating and eating. I've so far (3pm) had

yoghurt, banana and prunes
a mullerlight
skinny cow hot chocolate
a pasta n sauce with butter beans.

I'm going to have SW chips and beans for dinner.

 

[White Tulip]

Feeling positive and quite 'bouncy' today.

Weigh in tomorrow, I really, really hope the scales have shifted.

OH's weight loss radar has well and truly been switched on and he's started his comments. I have had today 'you should be wasting away', 'well you'll lose quicker if you do more exercise' (you don't say) and then when I said that I've lost 10.5 pounds in 2 weeks, he paused and said 'that's good - it's when you do stuff like only lose half a pound'.......I don't care if I 'only' lose half a pound. I just want to lose weight and I'm afraid his 'helpful' comments just aren't helpful and he knows this but feels he is helping by saying the same old stuff each time I decide to lose weight.