Why is it soooo different 2nd time around?

[Diva]

Or even the 3rd, 4th, etc, etc, etc?.....

A: Because you are using the wrong strategy!

Some of you may remember that when this section of the forum opened, I asked you to think back to what it was like for you when you first started your weight loss journey.

Many people will be able to identify with feelings of desperation, self hatred, determination, lack of energy, discomfort and probably every other negative emotion that you can think of. We hate feeling and looking like this soooo much that we are willing to do almost anything to get away from it!

And that is exactly what we do...we use an "Away from" strategy that employs determination and willpower to get us to our goals.

So what's wrong with this strategy and why doesn't it work again?

The simple reason is because those negative feelings are never as strong as they were when you made your initial decision to lose weight. Yes you may put on a bit of weight and want to lose it again and may go back to the plan that you used before...but this time its not quite working the same way!....The "away from" strategy is redundant in this scenario because you don't look or feel the way you did before....i.e the pain is no longer present therefore, there is nothing to get away from. This is why you sometimes hear people say "if only I could do it the way I did before"! An "away from" strategy rarely works more than once.

Is there an alternative?

Yes there are 2 alternatives....the first is to deal with the underlying issues and that will help to reduce the weight regain.

Secondly, use a different strategy...a "towards to" strategy. This method does not focus on the pain, instead it focussess on the benefits of what you are doing. For example, I want to look better in my clothes, I want to have more energy, I want to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see...

These are things that you can move towards right now ...these are not size dependent! The weight loss is then the bonus rather than the driving force.

The best thing about a "towards" strategy though is that it is never ending....there is no definitive 5 stone to lose and then what??? Feeling great and looking great just goes on and on so, therefore, the benefits are much more long term.

 

[Shazza]

So agree with this

Every time I tried to SS I would try to do it a different way - just to get back to that newness again.

How I wish I could get back that feeling of when I started Lighterlife and had bloody stuck to it.

How I envy all the first timers and their enthusiasm and determination. You guys are so lucky - dont ever let it go once you have it.

Am loving my new approach though - Every week I set targets for myself that I want to achieve and they are no longer to lose x amount by x, they are more geared towards - i want to walk this amount of steps or i want to have this amount of packs.

I also find it much easier to set low targets cause then i tend to always surpass them, and its easier to see that you are actually getting somewhere.

Anyway enough rambling on !!!

Laters

 

[Geri]

hey diva
what a fantastic post - absolutley agree with it, when I first started all that time ago, I was soooo desperate - I couldnt even walk up to the school which is about a minute away without huffing and puffing. plus loads of other things which I'll leave for another time - coz I'm meant to be sorting out clothes and tyding up as we're off for a few days tomorrow, back on Friday then away the following friday for a long weekend - but after that I am def going to be 'walking the walk' rather than 'talking the talk!'

 

[Isis]

This is a fantastic topic for a forum Diva, and very much needed in my opinion. I was eagerly waiting to see what it would be all about, had my thoughts on what issues it possibly may be around and I'm so delighted to read what I have done so far. I for one will be a regular visitor while I figure out the best weight loss path for me. The posts so far on here have been very helpful and it's so great to think I can now read on here what I read in books at night on my own in bed. Brilliant!!!!

Thank you so much for starting this forum

 

[Diva]

Thanks Isis...glad that you are enjoying the forum and I'm looking forward to reading more of your posts and experiences on here too!

 

[DQ]

How I wish I could get back that feeling of when I started Lighterlife and had bloody stuck to it.

How I envy all the first timers and their enthusiasm and determination. You guys are so lucky - dont ever let it go once you have it.

I tell my clients first time is golden time - to make the most of it, because although you can get back to SS the first time is most definitely the best!!

Am loving my new approach though - Every week I set targets for myself that I want to achieve and they are no longer to lose x amount by x, they are more geared towards - i want to walk this amount of steps or i want to have this amount of packs.

Am definitely trying to follow this philosophy - the numbers are not the highest concern, it's about where I am on my person journey.

I also find it much easier to set low targets cause then i tend to always surpass them, and its easier to see that you are actually getting somewhere.

Honey, your targets aren't low - you're just starting to realise how high you can aim and make it!!

 

[Diva]

Its better you set your targets low and achieve them rather than not set any at all and do nothing at all! Shazza - Setting them low will help you to achieve momentum, hun...you just keep on striving!

 

[CarlyP]

brilliant. i have had 3 weeks off of LL due to pre and post operation reasons. now is day 1 and im starting all over again, its wierd, but im sure ill get there again!

 

[DQ]

Revisiting this post and feeding myself with good stuff - thought it was worth bumping up

 

[KD]

Know what you mean. I keep coming back to it and digesting a little more

 

[DQ]

It is like a banquet - each time you visit the table, you feed yourself with something new

 

[olijames]

hi ladies


well these words are certainly ringing true with me!! I have had about 6 weeks off, the first four maintaining but starting to get off track and the last 2 over indulging on holiday! So now im back, my tan looks great but my arse is literally over spilling out of my trousers and my belly is seriously dough ballish!!!! So here goes....infact Im gonna bite the bullet and jump on the scales right now, something i didnt think id do until id been ssing for a week or so! Its scary isnt it...i was 10st 12ish before i went, my hub has put on a stone and he thought he ate healthy, i seriously over indulged and had pina coladas coming out of my ears...so im thinkikng i will be around the 12stone mark too....got to do this...here goes...be back later with weigh in results....actually im gonna get up , dust off the scales and do it now....


yikes...11stone 9.6lbs....

thats more than i was but not the 15st7 i was when i started LL...gonna give it a good go...got my 30th birthday party on 27th august...so how am i gonna get around that one without ruining things???

Hugs all round, wishing you all well with your journeys....

Nic...hopefully i will be clicking on the soon enough!!

 

[chicken on a mission]

Love this thread. I am using the 'towards to' strategy to get me through to the end goal. I haven't restarted but I have found that the oldmotives for wanting to lose weight have been met and aren't working anymore. Your thread has just summed up so well what I have been struggling with over the past couple of weeks. I think I have my head in the right place now to continue to the end

 

[Diva]

That's great Chicken....you are certainly headed in the right direction and you will notice your physical and emotional changes are a lot sharper in focus as you move towards your goal.

Good luck, hun!! xx

 

[DQ]

Just checking in on this on my return from holiday - needed a refresher

 

[chicken on a mission]

I'm still struggling. I haven't fallen off the wagon but have put my tough times down to being told for the last 3-4 weeks that I can't have much longer to go and that the countdown on my blog is to the 100 days and I am on day 99.

I know I have another 1-1/2 stone to go as can be seen easily in my prgress shots so that isn't an issue. I think that once I get my time counter on my blog to the 50 days I conservatively estimate it will take me to get to target then I will have something tangiable and predicable to aim for which will help. Weighloss each week was never the best motivator for me because I never knew when I would retain water and you couldn't say for definate what would happen.

Time on the other hand is regular and predictable so I like using that because I [strike]like[/strike] love feeling in control

 

[DQ]

It must be difficult I imagine with the whole magic 100 days thing. You can do it mate - love the idea of resetting your countdown

 

[chicken on a mission]

Thanks DQ, I have just been writing a bit in todays blog about that. I do think it will help to give me the extended focus I need.

I did orginally think to set it at 43 days but then thought I don't want to be in the same predicament I am in now if I have another week to go. I see it as the same as when you are expecting a baby and go over your due date and get really fed up as a consequence

 

[DQ]

Lol what a perfect analogy!

 

[Diva]

Thought I'd bump this up for those that are struggling but may not have seen this thread....