Why is there no

[Tash86]

I'm a bit fat but it's not ok to yell at me in the street at me support forum?!

So I'm Newley 28 and beautiful and I know I am I've been stopped in the street even when bigger than I am today to tell me I am and I've been fat forever I feel like I've spent the best part of my life on a diet. If I ever have children my one hope is that they won't feel the need at 13 and 14 to diet like I did - or forever for that matter.

And I'm successful I know I am, someone pays me well to do something I'm good at.

But I'm still miserable! Even though I'm probably at the middle of my weight range (anything from 20 to 12 stone) - I'm still fat in societies terms.

And maybe that's the problem! Actually I've been my mid weight (about 14 stone) for a while and I thought I was ok with it - I've done CD twice over the part 6 years (twice properly about 100 times half heartedly!) and both times got down to about 11 stone (still overweight by my bmi) but hot and happy and about a size 12 clothes wise.

Both times I wasn't happy, both times a struggled with the attention at 21 I felt a real f you to people who thought I wasn't attractive before at 27 a real disappointment that people couldn't see beyond the stomach that I'd had before. Even though I'd achieved more in my career than people achieved in a lifetime, it was only now that I could shop in topshop that I was considered part of the cool crowd.

Anyway, sorry for the moan but I'm posting tonight because modern society makes me sad, because I was with a guy from the age of 18 to 27 who loved me rolls of fat and all but that now as a single woman of 28 it's too much!

Tonight I went out with my thin friend who thinks every man is fair game but as a result she is so rude it's untrue!! I spoke with men who I had genuine chat with me but who often ended with 'and your friend is hot' ie thin! Is that all that matters?! Am I completely beyond consideration?!

The final straw was a man in a taxi on the way home who shouted 'oi, you are so fat, do you fancy some?!' It just makes me so annoyed! Who the f are you to make me feel bad and I'm not even that fat (I've been fatter!!) and I probably earn more than you and am more successful than you but god only understands the psychology of why I'm still overweight.

But the conclusion of this rant is I should probably start CD again tomorrow as my self worth is clearly wrapped up in my body weight and once again it's easier to start on my left over shakes than to ask why.....

But I implore you if you've ever felt a bit crap at the end of a night purely because of your weight to share, it's completely not acceptable! Imagine if it was a racism issue and someone shouted out of a taxi about the colour of our skin rather than the size of our trousers - it's not acceptable! We ate not bad people but sometimes I feel like it's the last social taboo, I'm not sure I've never felt ashamed of anything more and I think I'll forever be ashamed as a result.

 

[misslaylay]

Hi Tash86,
Just came across your thread and I completely understand where you're coming from. My issue? When I'm overweight in any capacity, people just do not see you, you are invisible which I detest, more than even name calling because as horrible as the name calling is, there's also some grain of honesty which is why it tends to resonate with us. That is not to say it is acceptable or right. I attend a well known drama school, for which apart from another girl and I, everyone in the institution ranges from a size six to 10, which means I stick out like sore thumb. What I find is that people do not perceive me as intelligent or 'cool'. Despite the fact (as you mentioned) that I am good at what I do and this is something that I cannot get over.
However, I also understand that as human beings, we are fickle. We make assumptions based on how people look in order to gage their personality. For example, despite the fact you're hard working and successful, some people see fat people as lazy, unintelligent, having a lack lustre approach, no self awareness or control, and I also think people despise us for "wearing our problems on the outside".
I would begin your weight loss journey for you, and no one else, and that is the biggest gift to yourself, not for what people think or what bothers people. Even then, when you lose weight, don't be surprised if people complain you're too skinny when you get to target. Just do you and everything else will fall into place.