Wifeywoo's Third Time Lucky

[wifeywoo]

Hi everyone!

Well, here I am again. Only this time is the biggest I've ever been. 20 st 10 lbs of me . I have 8 stone 3 lbs to lose. I'm married with the most gorgeous little baby boy ever - he's 9.5 months and into everything, having learnt to crawl two weeks ago!

So, why am I here again? Well, I've always struggled with my weight and Cambridge worked brilliantly before - it was my fault for overeating. The diet does work, I know that! Hubby and I failed twice before because we found reasons to go back to old habits - I had a back injury, I got pregnant, Hubby had a dreadful job, I was being bullied at work, people close to us kept telling us the diet was dangerous and we had to stop. Basically life, and we weren't strong enough to stay focussed on our ultimate goals. I've never got to goal.

Why is this time different? Because I'm not just doing it for me now. I'm doing it for my son and to be the bestest Mummy I possibly can - I'm going to be a good role model and a good example and help my son learn healthy eating habits and promote a healthy lifestyle. I want to be around for a very long time and to see my grandchildren grow. I want to have more children. If I keep going as I am at the moment, I will die early.

I have health issues already. My back, hips and knees are shot to pieces, I have an ovarian cyst and hormonal issues associated with PCOS (although undiagnosed due to cysts, but was diagnosed prior to pregnancy) and I found out yesterday that I probably have a liver haemangioma (benign tumour). I say probably because the sonographer wasn't sure as it was a gynaecological scan and she isn't a liver expert - it was a chance finding. So, I'm waiting to see my doc on Mon for a hospital referral.

So that's me.. My hubby is doing the diet too - he's got 9 stone to lose, but he's embarrassed so probably won't come on here.

Today is Day 1. I've had my first tetra and a plethora of water already so wish me luck!

Thanks for listening and I'll keep you posted.

W

 

[wifeywoo]

Well, onto Day 3 today and starting to feel a bit better. Last 2 days have been plagued with hunger, nausea and extreme fatigue but feel a bit more like me today.

Both hubby and I have been experiencing 'foodcillations' and feeling quite sad about missing food but we just play with our son and remember why we are doing this - for him as well as for us.

Saw doc yesterday following sat scan results and got green light to continue with Cambridge so I'm a happy bunny. Waiting for my specialist liver scan and have a blood test tomorrow to check my liver function, but she thinks it's all fine - says a haemangioma is really nothing to worry about - just need to get it confirmed that it's that and nothing else more sinister.

Feeling much less bloated and lard-like today, scales say am a few pounds down so all good. Ketostix moved on a colour to the second one on the chart this morning showing traces of ketones so I'm on my way.

Four stone off by Christmas please!!!

W x

 

[wifeywoo]

Hmm, my update via my iphone hasn't appeared so here's my update for the second time!

Day three today and the ravenous hunger, nausea and relentless fatigue are starting to subside a bit. Hubby and I have been experiencing 'foodcillations' and foaming at the mouth at the thought of previously boring food.... Ketostix showing faint traces of ketosis for me - second box along on the chart so I'm happy!

Think I've dropped a few pounds and definitely not feeling so bloated, so generally feeling quite positive.

Saw my GP yesterday who has reassured me that a haemangioma is not a big deal (if that is what it is) and I've got a blood test tomorrow and another scan next week to confirm this diagnosis. She's also happy for me to stay on Cambridge so I'm a happy bunny.

FOOD!!!!!!!!!! Aaaahhhhh....this is not going to be easy.

 

[spangles]

welcome honey,

i have a similar amount to lose - also for my health (can't have IVF til i'm below bmi of 30) - it focuses the mind in a way that my looks never did.

good luck!

 

[wifeywoo]

Hi Spangles!

Thanks for ur message, nice to hear from you.

How long have u been doing this?

W x

 

[spangles]

only three weeks, but i feel really settled in already!

 

[wifeywoo]

Hi Spangles, That's great, are you SS?

Well, it's Day 4 for me today and I'm SOOOOO proud of myself - I cooked a meal from scratch for my baby (been using ready made since the weekend although he's still had fresh fruit / cereal / snacks etc. I cooked - from scratch - a HUGE deal for me as I have soooo many issues with food - 4 Annabel Karmel Mummy's Special Fish pies with salmon, cod, homemade cheese sauce with onion, skinned and deseeded tomatoes, bay leaf, parsley, mashed potato with cream cheese, paprika and the whole thing in 4 mini ramekins brushed with egg, baked for 20 mins, then browned under the grill. As he's under 1, he can't have salt so I had to be quite cunning with the bay leaf, pepper, paprika and parsley, so I did taste it to make sure it was OK and not bland, but I spat it out as soon as it hit my taste buds and I was careful not to swallow saliva in my mouth at the time.

Can't tell you all what a massive achievement it was for me to cook something that I didn't throw away and didn't make me want to be sick, and be surrounded by all the smells etc whilst in SS.

My hubby is sooo frustrated with me over food. There's been so many times that I will cook something and then not be able to eat it. I can't eat sandwiches from anywhere apart from Subway or M&S as I know how rigorously they check stock and how frequently it is changed. It's usually pretty impossible for me to handle raw flesh even though I love eating it, so skinning and chopping fish this afternoon was a massive step forwards. I find it impossible to choose something to eat if he's cooking (by cooking, please read going out for takeaway or something that can be bunged in the oven), it's really hard, like my history of being deprived of food as a child makes me scared of missing out on something now. Hmmm, food for thought (literally).

Anyway, baby son loved his fish pie and ate 3/4 of it - prob would have finished the whole thing but took a bit away as it was a large portion, then he had 8 blackberries and some diluted apple juice, so feel a lot better about my mothering abilities concerning food!

So, definitely in ketosis now, feeling fine, really craving food from time to time but keeping busy is helping. Had a Coke Zero this evening and it was lovely, a real treat. That's another big success actually - prior to Cambridge, hubby and I only drank diet coke (he'd have coffee too, occassionally and sometimes we'd have fruit juice but our main drink was DC). Our habit was so bad we'd have 6-8 cans each per day.

Feeling positive, albeit thoughtful, and just looking forward so much to being able to shop in other places apart from blinking Evans! Size 22 on top and 26 on bottom at present. Not nice. Last time, got down to a 14-16, want to be a 12 if possible. Sick of being the larger than life, loud, smiley, 'Oh, hasn't she got a pretty face, she'd be a stunner if she dropped some weight' woman.....

 

[spangles]

so much of that rings a bell with me - especially my overeating coming from a childhood of feeling hungry and not getting treats (my mum was determined not to pass on her own binge eating behaviours, so was very sparing with what she gave us to eat...).

I've decided i will go to a therapist when i'm at the end of this process, to address my issues so it hopefully doesn't happen again.

anyway - rarr!!! go you with your cooking! i haven't had much to do with real food since i started.

 

[wifeywoo]

Spangles, it's sooo hard isn't it, coming to terms with all our emotional hang ups re food?! I know why I eat and it's very different reasons to my husband. I don't fell ready to discuss this particular issue on minimins yet but in a nutshell, food was withheld from me, or it was easier for me to be out of the house and go without rather than stay for dinner and face more abuse. Nuff said.

Anyway, Day 7 today! Our weigh in is on Monday so I don't know how well I've done but I'm certainly feeling a lot better about myself. My scales indicate at least 10 pounds I think but I stupidly didn't weigh myself on them at the start.

Feeling very hungry today and not sure why. I only had 2 litres of water yesterday which could be a contributory factor and I had 1 bouillion and half a Coke Zero yesterday, but I've done that before and not felt hungry. I also have to taste the food I'm cooking for my son (1 teaspoon) but I spit it out straightaway and make sure I spit out my saliva too.

Also just had an incredible bowel pain and had to rush to the loo and what resulted would have been typical after a carb-laden binge (ie not diarrohea, but plentiful), so not sure what's happened there. Could I have been blocked up from pre-Cambridge still? V confused.

Any help or advice anyone can offer would be gratefully appreciated.

Thanks,

W x

 

[wifeywoo]

Day 8 today and feeling a lot more normal. Can't wait for wi tomomorrow!!! Think I've done a least a stone but don't know where I was on my scales to start with.

But - my towel nearly goes all the way round now, whereas it was miles apart round my hips before. Clothes are definitely loser and that's a great feeling.

W

 

[wifeywoo]

Lost 15 pounds at 1st wi on day 9!!!! Woo-hoo!!!!!!! Hubby lost 23 pounds - how amazing is that?! We rule!!! X

 

[Sarah Lou]

Hi WW, I've just read your diary congratulations on your loss and hubbie's too. WOW!!!

Good luck for the second week. As for cooking well that's an acheivement in itself and I laughed at the tasting on the teaspoon.. the things we do to get through. It doesn't take us long either to start the toilet talk i had a similiar experience to you, I was amazed and slightly embarrassed about the amount of time I spent in the loo that day. Have a great second week.

 

[shrinkin'violet]

Bloody nora, that's awesome!!! Major congrats to you both, keep it up! X

 

[wifeywoo]

Hi Sarah Lou, thanks for your message, it was lovely to hear from you.

Well it's day 11 today and I've had a terrible day. I had my specialist liver scan this afternoon and the doc said he didn't know what the unidentified object in my liver is. He said it didn't look like a haemangioma (benign tumour consisting of blood vessels, like a strawberry birthmark) but he didn't think it was anything to worry about. I've now been referred for an MRI. Of course, telling me not to worry is like a red rag to a bull.

Just before the scan we found out we'd gone over the overdraft limit on our bank account. Yes, it is pay day tomorrow but as I'm going self employed now there's no guarantee of when I'll get income and that's so scary not to mention the fact that our income has now halved as we've both changed jobs to accommodate parenthood / uni course. We hardly ever even go overdrawn as we're so careful due to previous money probs so to go over the limit by a couple of hundred is distressing.

All the way on the drive home I was thinking how much I wanted food. I've been quite hungry today and seemingly not in ketosis according to ketostix. I haven't cheated at all but of course my mind was saying to me, 'Well, if you're out of ketosis, a bit of protein isn't going to make the slightest difference.' The good part of my brain reminded me that the point is that if I started eating something it really wouldn't stop there. I'd just think 'S*d it, might as well make the most of it and enjoy myself'. I managed to hold on until I got home and hubby talked some sense into me. And a tetra and a bouillon. So I didn't cheat. But it's been a really dark, awful day. Still, a little cuddle and tickle session with baby soothed me somewhat. But now he's in bed and I'm starving again

Can anyone explain why I'm seemingly hungry / not always getting a pink ketostix when I'm drinking all my water and haven't cheated at all?

A very sad and sleepy wifey x

 

[spangles]

well done petal - resisting food under those circumstances is a massive achievement. And I bet you are in ketosis. You lost about three times as much as me in week one (jealous!), and you've been 100% - there's no real way for you not to be.

ketostix are notoriously unreliable anyway - but certainly you'll get a stronger result first thing in the morning - because the more water you drink, the more dilute your ketones will be, so they may not register - whereas over night they get a bit more concentrated.

 

[wifeywoo]

Thanks Spangles x

 

[wifeywoo]

Thank you Spangles. Still vv v down. Had a CT scan today and they wouldn't tell me the result but promised to fax it quickly to GP. GP surgery confirmed this afternoon they had received and promised a doctor would phone this evening with the results to put me out of my misery. No phone call. Had a pants day. Had to have the thingy with a drip in the hospital with the contrast dye and the needle didn't hurt that much but the dye going in was hell and made me feel really ill. Was on my own as had to rush straight there from work and couldn't stop crying, really panicking about getting a terminal illness and not being able to see my son grow up. All that kept going through my mind was that he won't remember me as he's too young at present - 10 months. Terrible, terrifying stuff. The radiographer was really kind and grabbed a passing doc to calm me down (private hospital - not that we can afford it but have cheapy Benenden cover that pays for diagnostic testing) who told me she wasn't an expert and I had to wait for the proper diagnosis but it looked benign to her. Still need to hear a definite diagnosis though. And some benign liver tumours still have to be removed as could rupture / turn malignant. I just wanted that phone call tonight so I could move on and hopefully forget all about it.

Anyways. Made a conscious decision to eat tonight as I've been under so much strain and felt that I needed it. I promised myself that if I needed extra protein on SS for any reason I would have it and not feel guilty because that's why I failed last time - I let the guilt spiral out of control. So I decided to eat and had some protein that I already had in the fridge for cooking for my son. So I had an omelette with two eggs, a spoonful of creme fraiche and some grated mature cheddar, cooked with Fry Light. I also had 2 Babybels and 2 cans of Coke Zero. And that's enough. I feel a bit stronger and a bit more able to cope and didn't have my 4th pack tonight to offset the calories a bit. There's loads of stuff in the house for my son (including a giant bag of chocolate buttons) and I didn't eat any of it. I stuck to the protein that I promised myself. Tomorrow, I shall go back to SS.

So anyway - week 2 WI was yesterday, and I'd had a good week SS 100%. My scales said 6 lbs off, CDC's said 3. Well, ho hum, it's still more than I'd have lost on WW, I'm sure.

Onwards!

Hope everyone else is OK.

W x

 

[girlygirl1]

My heart goes out to you at this scary time. And I urge you - don't expect too much of yourself, diet-wise, right now. If you need extra protein and veg, for example, have both. Eat for health and strength because you don't want to add to this stress by under-eating.

Keeping it low carb will mean you will still lose weight and also stay in ketosis. You are doing so well on a very tough diet and I know you don't want to surrender, now.

I pray the news, when it comes, will be good and positive. Bless you and yours x

 

[wifeywoo]

Well, it's been a very difficult time. I've seen a consultant who thinks the tumour may be an FNH but I have to wait for an MRI to confirm now. I've started my new job and I am enjoying it but driving nearly 400 miles a week is really taking its toll. I tried sticking to just extra protein then two weeks was insanely ill with mega constipation due to just protein - had to have an enema and everything. Just about got over that when the whole family was hit with the tummy bug from hell - horrendous diarrhoea, nausea, sweating, giddiness etc etc. We got over it fairly quickly but baby was sick for two weeks and actually ended up in a and e last weekend although he's better now thank goodness. Was managing to cope on packs with protein but last weekend was the killer and broke it completely. Got back on then had awful week and broke it at work yesterday. Going to go completely SS from tomorrow (was doing SS+ but think it's too much of a temptation) and if I can't do it then will have to rethink the whole VLCD thing, but I have promised myself that I will give it my all from tomorrow. Lost 4 lbs over the last month - but suppose it's better than STS or gaining!

 

[Dolly2]

You are doing so well under such extreme circumstances, and yes 4lbs off is marvellous compared to the damage you could have done.
Think positive and I am sure it will all right itself in the end. Xx