YOU decide!

[Diva]

Now here's an interesting concept.....Over the last few months I have been told (or at least heard!) that a couple of clients no longer wanted to come and see me as a CDC because they felt that I "wasn't hard enough" on them when they had cheated!!! (don't know whether to add a shocked or laughing icon here!)

I am a Counsellor, Therapist, Hypnotist, Business & Personal Coach - call me whatever....but I am certainly not a masochist (or is it sado-masochist!??). My work is not about hurting people but helping people.

But what is really quite interesting about this is how many people need to feel "pain" before they can start to feel that they are successful. Think about that for a moment....

I've done this many times before whereby I have said to myself "I feel far too bad to continue like this, I have to lose some weight"...Pain can be a good motivator initially but is it really the thing that provides momentum...unlikely because how many times have you stopped going to a slimming club because you "know you've put on"!! A WW or SW Leader's job is the same as a CDC's to support and motivate to help you along your way...just because the journey may not be smooth it doesn't mean you can't make it.

Now those clients of mine...supposing I really did make them feel bad about eating whatever...would they come back? Yes, but only for a short time because they have handed over their responsibility to me. I've not made them feel bad, have they come back? No. Therefore, who's decision is it really? Theirs, of course! It is their responsibility as to how they want to do this...not mine or anyone else's.

Whilst other people can be our inspiration and also provide us with some motivation, the decision to do whatever it takes - within reason of course - to reach our goals is ours. Therefore, we have to create our own momentum to keep us going.

Making the connection between what we want and why we want it is a great way of doing this. For example, I want to lose weight is a goal that most of us share..however, has that worked as a motivator before? We've all said that at various times but how many times has it actually worked?

What about getting specific and connecting the dots such as... I want to be 10stone so that I can 'y' and when I do 'y' I will feel "z"! I'm sure you get the general idea. When you fully associate into what you want then the "how" becomes much easier, regardless of your WW/SW/RC Leader or CDC because you will then start to create your own opportunities for success and use them as a tool rather than the fix.

 

[kazz]

cant believe ppl expect you to come down on them like a tonne of bricks if they cheat!! I know if I cheat, I am only cheating me!! The mind boggles...

 

[AnnaNimity]

Diva said (sorry - can't work out how to quote message in reply - tick box is ignoring me!):

Now those clients of mine...supposing I really did make them feel bad about eating whatever...would they come back? Yes, but only for a short time because they have handed over their responsibility to me.​

I think that's the main reason - they want you to be the grown-up so that they don't have to accountable for their own actions.

We all make are own choices about hundreds of things every day, and I think that people who don't acknowledge that need to grow up a bit and realise that they are the only ones who can control what they do.

Sorry for ranting... It just makes me really mad when people sometimes try to make me the 'grown-up' in relationships (at work, home whatever) when actually we are all adults and should not need to be coddled like children.

 

[sonkie]

If you want to quote someone click on quote icon in that persons message then type under it.


I think the people that want to be told of for cheating are cheating themselves, they should be feeling bad for not resisting instead of making cdc or group leaders take on the responsibility.

 

[AnnaNimity]

Just trying it out...

If you want to quote someone click on quote icon in that persons message then type under it.

Thanks!!

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Diva - think that is astounding! and it makes me cross that they are "blaming" you!

I work on the "help them" principle ... where if they've strayed from CD I try to help them see that they have not done themselves any good ..... but certainly don't subscribe to the "smack hands brigade"! If anyone (myself included!) wants to lose weight then it is a simple equation of eating less calories than is expended in energy. Cambridge has tried to make that easy for us by telling us how many sachets/bars to have and nothing else except water ... (other than AAM week) ...... if we choose to deviate off that strict regime .. we MAY get away with it - but we can not expect to.

The rules are simple:
1. Eat/drink 3 cambridge sachets/bars a day
2. Drink at least 4pints of water a day.
3. Don't tinker with that.

Follow these 3 rules and you will lose at least a stone a month.

I think that you should be yourself Diva - motivate how you think best ... and if some people don't like that approach well you can't please all the people all the time!!!

 

[pandora]

As my hubby says
"with this diet its black & white, you can do x & you can't do y"
we choose whether to go on the motorway ie direct, no cheating, straight losses etc or whether we take the country roads ie some cheating or deviating from the plan.
Either way we will get there, just depends how long it takes & how you view your journey.
nevermind what you coose it's YOUR decision how you do it & your responsibility how you do it, not your CDC's choice.
Diva you allways seem so supportive on here, so i can't imagine you are any different in real life, so the problem is theirs not yours, you must surely have loads of clients who DO like the way you help them so carry on how you are hun
xx

 

[bobby69]

Different strokes for different folks I guess.

However I have to agree with what has been said before blaming you is not the answer to their problems. They have cheated for whatever reason and until they address that they will still stumble along the way.

You can only help someone so far and then they have to help themselves.

I stopped going to WW because the leader was too stern for my liking. I wanted someone who understood what I was going throught not dictating to me what I should do. Someone would could draw from their own weight loss experience and redirect me again.

Someone to say "ok so you had a blip - recognise where you went wrong and why. Learn from it but now put it behind you and move forward"

We all stumple along the way it is the getting back on the wagon again that makes the difference and we can only do that for ourselves.

I think you are great as a CDC - I don't post that often but have read your posts which are very encouraging - Keep up the good work.

 

[Diva]

Thanks Guys for your supportive comments.

Taking this one step further....I really hope that you can all see that each one of us is responsible and accountable to ourselves as we are the only ones that can really make that difference that we are looking for.

Its up to us as to how its gonna be - for us!