2nd (and hopefully final) attempt - RE-FEED 7th August

[Scotsmist]

I just wanted to post and document how I am doing and feeling, leading up to my re-feed!

This week my senses seem to have re-awakened big style! Especially where food is concerned...whereas, the last 11 weeks I have just had to knock food out of my life! It is strange, knowing this time next week I will be eating.

Something I noticed today, I wanted to put some food in my mouth....not to be bad, but just to see what it "felt" like! Is this normal? I didnt though

I am excited, but I am really frightened that I mess up. I have been so strong being on LT, and now I am going to be let loose. I want to be in control of my whole life and that includes food!

I only have another 4 full days on 3 shakes....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[JanD]

That sounds exactly like I was .... perfectly normal ... you'll be fine!! xxx

 

[Scotsmist]

Thanks Jan

 

[Scotsmist]

Only one more shake today, Wed, Thur and two on Friday!! Why I couldnt just say 3 more days I dont know!!!!!

Well, not sure how I feel. Kinda sad,,,as I really wished I was at goal weight, BUT, I am so pleased with the results so far and the fact I like what I see in the mirror.

I know I need to go and do the food shop, and will probably do this tomorrow (Wed), but I am frightened. Dont understand why because I havent stopped food shopping, but this time it is different, it is for me!! Since doing the menus, I havent even looked at them again; think I am trying to block it out of my mind.

Everyone knows I eat on Friday and are all happy for me..they keep asking every day, even although they know! It is like a standing joke really.

My husband is all excited for me too, which is lovely and still keeps calling me skinny, which is even nicer.

I tried on a size 12 Oasis pair of shorts today!!! Yes, 12 and they fitted,but just so didnt buy them, but I was happy and elated by that.

I am meeting friends tonight for a drink (sparkly water for me of course) and they havent seen me since doing the diet, so that will be a strange one!

Ok, that is me....on countdown and emotions are really all over the place.

 

[nicolas]

u will be just fine, i have every faith in you and u have such good support behind u! i so excited for u,
i kno i refeeding same day but not on tfr as long as u and had a few blips, but i am looking forward to eating again!:flirt2:

 

[summergurl]

Its exciting stuff isnt it scots! exciting but very scary!
have a nice night tonight x

 

[JanD]

Oh Scots I sooooo empathise! Really I do ... I think we all feel it in varying degrees. You WILL be fine I promise but the transition does take a bit of negotiating, no doubt about it.

I bet the thing you most notice about your shop is how expensive it is!! LOL!! I was horrified and wanted to go back to my £36 a week!!!

***big hugs and lots of reassurance*** xxx

 

[Scotsmist]

u will be just fine, i have every faith in you and u have such good support behind u! i so excited for u,
i kno i refeeding same day but not on tfr as long as u and had a few blips, but i am looking forward to eating again!:flirt2:

I might be shouting on you for help!!!!!!!

 

[Scotsmist]

Its exciting stuff isnt it scots! exciting but very scary!
have a nice night tonight x

Oh, I think so, but I am getting myself in knots worrying about it now.
Had a lovely night.....2 small glasses of vino (water) ....we were in a pub/restaurant and boy were the smells just so gooooooodddd......bad though as it was chips and burgers which I wouldnt normally eat, but gosh, I could have stolen it off their plates and eaten it !!!

Another night down though..yippeeeee
Hope you are ok Tanya.

 

[Scotsmist]

Thanks Jan, appreciate it!
I know, I groaned when I thought of £36 a week, but I bet that is nothing in comparison to what I will spend. Think I have to do it tomorrow, no other time! GULP!!!
Cant believe I am so nervous about something that used to be so normal! Maybe that is a good thing, cause then I realise the importance of food and how dangerous it can be for me!!

Will no doubt keep you all posted..thanks for listening to me waffling on....Just need to record everything for my own sanity.

Oh Scots I sooooo empathise! Really I do ... I think we all feel it in varying degrees. You WILL be fine I promise but the transition does take a bit of negotiating, no doubt about it.

I bet the thing you most notice about your shop is how expensive it is!! LOL!! I was horrified and wanted to go back to my £36 a week!!!

***big hugs and lots of reassurance*** xxx

 

[kered]

I remember feeling exactly like you before I started eating meals again, its exciting but really scary at the same time. Try not to worry too much about it, just enjoy it. You are right though, its cheaper to stay on lipotrim lol.

Good luck for seeing your friends again, they will be amazed at the change in you.

 

[Scotsmist]

FIRST FOOD SHOP FOR ME!

Well, tonight was the night, with my list in my hand and my hubby at my side, off we went!

Firstly, first in a long time I was hungry! Oh, no, they say dont shop when hungry, but I had to go tonight, no other night left to do it!

So, in we went....and all was ok. My list wasnt that big actually as mostly fish/chicken and salad...I have all my veggies in the allotment, so it was really small!! I was ok until I got round to the bread. Bought some lovely poppy seed bread for hubby and I felt as though I was struggling...BREAD AGAIN!!! My thing!! But, I was strong.

Got home and put it all away, and then made my hubby some lovely lamb kebabs...oh, they smelt gorgeous and again, I wanted to put something in my mouth,..this time it was the homemade coleslaw...it was hard resisting, but I did..as I would only be letting myself down by starting refeed early.

So, we both sat down as usual at the table and I had my soup! OH, I didnt want it...I actually wanted a choc shake, but I only had one left and a soup and really dont fancy soup for brekkie! So, I had the soup and felt sick afterwards..first time I felt sick on LT with the soup!

After 10 mins felt ok,,and now I am just getting excited now to eat. I think I am ready...I just dont want to have problems being frightened of eating, so I feel I have come a bit of a way from yesterday and the other days....I now know the time is right to start eating.

So, that is the shop and today out of the way. Roll on tomorrow and WI day and then Friday is DDay!!

 

[nicolas]

best of luck honey, so delighted for ya,

 

[Scotsmist]

AWWWW..thanks Nicola.......need to record everything for myself ))))

You excited too? Did I reply to you earlier? Cant remember..boss came in so I cant remember if I did...if not, will do.

 

[Michillinwoman]

Well done for hanging in there scotsmist. You will get through this . Follow your menus exactly and bulk your meals well with veg an salad and you wont be hungry. If anyone can do this you can

 

[Scotsmist]

Well done for hanging in there scotsmist. You will get through this . Follow your menus exactly and bulk your meals well with veg an salad and you wont be hungry. If anyone can do this you can

Thanks Mich, that's lovely!!!!! I am frightened even to eat blooming veg now But, I think once I have been eating for a few days I will be ok...I think it is more the anticipation of eating that is worrying me the most.

 

[Aoife]

Best of luck with your refeed. I know is it hard to resist food when you know it's you tomorrow. But you are so nearly there. I bought the Soya & Linseed too, great tip about having one slice rather the two.
Good luck with your WI and tomorrow.

 

[Scotsmist]

Best of luck with your refeed. I know is it hard to resist food when you know it's you tomorrow. But you are so nearly there. I bought the Soya & Linseed too, great tip about having one slice rather the two.
Good luck with your WI and tomorrow.

Thanks.....much appreciated!

 

[kered]

I hated the soup when I was on TFR - well done for you on keeping strong and resisting.

Good luck for the refeed - you will love the flavours.

 

[Scotsmist]

NIGHT BEFORE REFEED

Well 2 shakes to go before food touches my lips again!

I woke up today feeling down.....felt fat as well which is the first since being on LT. I know it is all in my head, so I am not worrying. I tried to analyse why I felt down and i think it is because I am refeeding before my Goal 1 of 10 stone....so, I have tried to talk to myself and Nicolas has helped too - THANKS NIC!!

I am refeeding so that I can be sensible on holiday,,it isnt that I am giving up! No way, I will be back and I am more than determined to get to under 10 stone and I know it is achievable.....so, depression be gone!!

I keep looking at the lovely piece of haddock I have in the fridge for tomorrow, and oh boy I am sure it was winking at me!

I wrote my menus out nice and neatly and stuck on the fridge door, but changed a few things, but all within the letter of refeed!

Less than 24 hours and I will eat...hehehe.....gosh, where have the last 12 weeks gone.

That's all for now!