5 days into changing my life. . .

[demonp]

Aahhhh it may be this diet but omg I'm a bit emotional catching up on yr diet diary x when we 1st started it felt a lifetime ago and to catch up and read where u have got to just makes me so proud of u x omg clothes wise that's amazing like really really amazing and I can't describe in words how happy I am for u x u really haven't got long to go now and that is just fab light at the end of the tunnel wow wow wow xxxxxxx good god I'm so happy to see yr doing great and the tummy monster has been defeated x

Hi hun. I know I've been really bad at keeping in touch...but i have been keeping an eye on your diary to make sure you stay away from those scales! I see you now have a eat measuring gadget-honestly, what am i going to do with you! ! Thank you for your kind words. I feel just as proud of you- your photos are amazing-such a difference! And hope you are feeling better now! Good luck with wi-i know you will do fab. Will try to keep in touch a bit more again i promise-i said i would be here till the end of both of our journeys and i meant it! Keep up the good work. X

 

[demonp]

Well, i really hope that i get back to ketosis soon as at the moment i am having to eat chicken every day as Im so hungry! Whilst i am happier with how my body looks now with clothes on, without i am starting to look like am old lady! Every morning i am religiously applying palmers oil but the skin is still going saggy-hmm attractive! I know that exercise will help but i have just lost all motivation on that side. Gym membership needs renewing in August and i am seriously considering not bothering-that's bad huh. Its like i can only give motivation to one thing at a time and right now that's the diet, which i know is stupid as it should in hand in hand with exercise. Someone pleas give me a kick up the bum! On a positive, i have started baking again and it has been ok. I've realised that the enjoyment is in the cooking and watching others enjoying eating-not actually eating myself. Banana cake yesterday which did smell amazing and American style pancakes for breakfast for fathers day this morning. Mind you, the strawberries on top were very tempting! Speaking of fathers, Im wondering if i should send my dad a photo of my weight loss as i am unlikely to see him this year. Despite being in my 30s, it seems that i still crave my dads approval-pathetic really. I know that whatever his response is i will take it in the wrong way so maybe i just should leave it. By the time i actually do next see him i might have accepted my new body myself so will deal with it better.Im still looking down and just seeing fat legs, knees,thighs, bum. I think that it is safe to say that this combined with the saggy skin means that i will never be seen in a bikini. For the first time Ever i understand why people do plastic surgery. I know it is vain, but after all this effort on the diet it seems unfair to look like this. 2 pregnancies-eating for 2- have left my tummy looking like a deflated balloon. And my boobs, well i can't tell you. I can literally lift the skin up! Gross. Don't get me wrong, Im still happier like this-granny skin and all, but i had hoped to feel a wee bit more sexy! My poor husband-all this dieting and he still can't see me starkers! Anyway, enough of my self pity-the sun is shining so time to get out. Take care anyone out there. X x x

 

[LeaE]

Well, i really hope that i get back to ketosis soon as at the moment i am having to eat chicken every day as Im so hungry! Whilst i am happier with how my body looks now with clothes on, without i am starting to look like am old lady! Every morning i am religiously applying palmers oil but the skin is still going saggy-hmm attractive! I know that exercise will help but i have just lost all motivation on that side. Gym membership needs renewing in August and i am seriously considering not bothering-that's bad huh. Its like i can only give motivation to one thing at a time and right now that's the diet, which i know is stupid as it should in hand in hand with exercise. Someone pleas give me a kick up the bum! On a positive, i have started baking again and it has been ok. I've realised that the enjoyment is in the cooking and watching others enjoying eating-not actually eating myself. Banana cake yesterday which did smell amazing and American style pancakes for breakfast for fathers day this morning. Mind you, the strawberries on top were very tempting! Speaking of fathers, Im wondering if i should send my dad a photo of my weight loss as i am unlikely to see him this year. Despite being in my 30s, it seems that i still crave my dads approval-pathetic really. I know that whatever his response is i will take it in the wrong way so maybe i just should leave it. By the time i actually do next see him i might have accepted my new body myself so will deal with it better.Im still looking down and just seeing fat legs, knees,thighs, bum. I think that it is safe to say that this combined with the saggy skin means that i will never be seen in a bikini. For the first time Ever i understand why people do plastic surgery. I know it is vain, but after all this effort on the diet it seems unfair to look like this. 2 pregnancies-eating for 2- have left my tummy looking like a deflated balloon. And my boobs, well i can't tell you. I can literally lift the skin up! Gross. Don't get me wrong, Im still happier like this-granny skin and all, but i had hoped to feel a wee bit more sexy! My poor husband-all this dieting and he still can't see me starkers! Anyway, enough of my self pity-the sun is shining so time to get out. Take care anyone out there. X x x

Yes I'm holding u to that u owe my diary some serious input lmao xxxxx I have sooooo missed u x if it makes u feel any better I have granny skin saggy tits and still fat bum knees legs wtc but hey ho at least we look better in clothes lol xxxxxxxx I'm going to stalk u now until u come back to me lol fat analysers lol I know I'm mental but still no scales at least ha ha ha x I lost 7lbs this week so takes me to 15st 6lbs I'm bloody fed up of been in these big numbers on the scales I wanna be in the 13s soooo bad xxxxxxx

 

[demonp]

Yes I'm holding u to that u owe my diary some serious input lmao xxxxx I have sooooo missed u x if it makes u feel any better I have granny skin saggy tits and still fat bum knees legs wtc but hey ho at least we look better in clothes lol xxxxxxxx I'm going to stalk u now until u come back to me lol fat analysers lol I know I'm mental but still no scales at least ha ha ha x I lost 7lbs this week so takes me to 15st 6lbs I'm bloody fed up of been in these big numbers on the scales I wanna be in the 13s soooo bad xxxxxxx

Well done on the 7lbs. That is just ridiculously good! Very proud of you and your journey so far. Well defo be back on you diary soon-especially as i got a name check on there the other day! Keep going chick-you should definitely consider being a consultant when you get to target-i think you could really help a lot of people...not quite sure how you would fit it in with the job and the girls. . . X

 

[demonp]

So,another 3lbs lost this week and that's out of ketosis and on totm so very happy! That takes me to 2.5 stone lost-yay! Only another 1.5 to go. Can't quite get my head around that! I feel that i have always had several stone to lose-not that long ago it was over 10 stone to lose and now here i am-bonkers! Have bought myself some monkfish fillets as way of celebration-yeah, i know, i shouldn't use food as a reward but old habits die hard. Will try to post some before and after pictures later this week if i get brave enough. Loving the toffee and walnut shake-it is delicious. I try to try a new flavour of shake, soup or bar each week-keeps it interesting. Really not that keen on the bars but they do come in handy. Right, time to get out in the last of the sun might as well try to get this sagging skin brown! X x x

 

[LeaE]

So,another 3lbs lost this week and that's out of ketosis and on totm so very happy! That takes me to 2.5 stone lost-yay! Only another 1.5 to go. Can't quite get my head around that! I feel that i have always had several stone to lose-not that long ago it was over 10 stone to lose and now here i am-bonkers! Have bought myself some monkfish fillets as way of celebration-yeah, i know, i shouldn't use food as a reward but old habits die hard. Will try to post some before and after pictures later this week if i get brave enough. Loving the toffee and walnut shake-it is delicious. I try to try a new flavour of shake, soup or bar each week-keeps it interesting. Really not that keen on the bars but they do come in handy. Right, time to get out in the last of the sun might as well try to get this sagging skin brown! X x x

Wow xxx well done u x

 

[demonp]

So,first time of trying to attach photos of my before shots at 14.11 and now shots at 12s.4. Not sure is will work as phone is playing up. Hopefully it is obvious which is which. The ones where the trousers are falling down are after! x

 

[LeaE]

Oh my word !!!!!! Well done on posting and wow what a fab little figure u have there xxxxxx congrats hunny well done u x

 

[LeaE]

Don't mean to sound rude but ....... Yr ass has halved in size omg that's brilliant xxxxxx

 

[demonp]

Don't mean to sound rude but ....... Yr ass has halved in size omg that's brilliant xxxxxx

Not rude at all-it is music to my ears! X

 

[LeaE]

Thank u for taking that as the huge compliment it was meant x I have checked yr pictures loads since u put them up and just can't believe how thin u are now x omg miss I'm abit jel lol in a good way of course because I'm v proud of u but omfg x

 

[demonp]

Cut

 

[LeaE]

Omg yr legs aren't even close to mine x u look amazing and I mean amazing well done omg u have such a tiny body now and my word what a difference x I'm so proud of u posting them x my last ask is this x post one before and after pic on my diary and then check the responses and maybe this will help u relise just how hot yr little bod is x well do e and I'm so glad I gave u the confidence to do this v liberating for u x whoop whoop well done u skinny Minnie x

 

[demonp]

Omg yr legs aren't even close to mine x u look amazing and I mean amazing well done omg u have such a tiny body now and my word what a difference x I'm so proud of u posting them x my last ask is this x post one before and after pic on my diary and then check the responses and maybe this will help u relise just how hot yr little bod is x well do e and I'm so glad I gave u the confidence to do this v liberating for u x whoop whoop well done u skinny Minnie x

Oh bum-i feel safe in my little diary-so many people on yours. . .but ok. Seriously though, i don't know what you are looking at but it ain't the same as me-that is far from a hot body-more like jelly legs with added orange peel. X

 

[LeaE]

Oh bum-i feel safe in my little diary-so many people on yours. . .but ok. Seriously though, i don't know what you are looking at but it ain't the same as me-that is far from a hot body-more like jelly legs with added orange peel. X

That's y I said have the confidence to put it on mine xxxx and u did xxx and I'm proud of u for that x pls be proud of that little body u have achieved I am !!!!!!!!!! I hope this has helped u over come fears and realise yr body isn't as bad as you thought x it's the first steps to accepting yr hot now miss x and so much slimmer I'm well jel lol x but happy for u x

 

[LeaE]

Eerrrhhhh where's yr updates missy

 

[demonp]

So, its a very long time since i was last on here! But i need to re group. I feel like i am spiraling out of control and it scares the poop out of me. So cd followed by s+s went really well. I got down to 10.10. Would have liked 10.7. Then i decided that weekends would be eat what you want, then fat Fridays crept in and before you know it wed and Thursday were pretty fat too! Result- about a stone back on and a whole heap of denial! Wearing the size 14 jeans instead of the 12 because they are starting to feel snug. Every morning i wake up disgusted with myself and determined to stick with the diet again. By the time i get back in the afternoon Im eating everything in the house like some druggie getting their fix. Bread, butter, biscuits etc. All the old habits are creeping back including secret eating. That bloody tummy monster has control and i hate it. I really want to get to 10.7 before Christmas so that i can have a few days without worrying. I do not want to start the new year in the 11^s. Im so cross with myself. Why can't i take control? Even if i just did 1 week of 100% i could get back on track, but every week i do 2 days then crumble. Why can't i find the inner strength again that i had to lose the weight in the first place? I honestly could hit myself! To come so far and then see it starting to creep back-you stupid fat cow! Im letting my family down, everyone that has supported me and myself. Already Im coming up with excuses why i can't get straight back on it. Friends birthday meal tomorrow, work do Monday etc. But really, none of these are reasons why i can't do ss on the other days. I can still turn this round and take control-it hasn't beaten me-i will not be that person again! If anyone is reading this Im sorry for the rant. I just needed to get it all written down so that i can rationalize it and see what i need to do. For some reason it seems to give me strength when i write it down and goodness knows i need all the strength i can get right now. I will not let this beat me. X

 

[LeaE]

So, its a very long time since i was last on here! But i need to re group. I feel like i am spiraling out of control and it scares the poop out of me. So cd followed by s+s went really well. I got down to 10.10. Would have liked 10.7. Then i decided that weekends would be eat what you want, then fat Fridays crept in and before you know it wed and Thursday were pretty fat too! Result- about a stone back on and a whole heap of denial! Wearing the size 14 jeans instead of the 12 because they are starting to feel snug. Every morning i wake up disgusted with myself and determined to stick with the diet again. By the time i get back in the afternoon Im eating everything in the house like some druggie getting their fix. Bread, butter, biscuits etc. All the old habits are creeping back including secret eating. That bloody tummy monster has control and i hate it. I really want to get to 10.7 before Christmas so that i can have a few days without worrying. I do not want to start the new year in the 11^s. Im so cross with myself. Why can't i take control? Even if i just did 1 week of 100% i could get back on track, but every week i do 2 days then crumble. Why can't i find the inner strength again that i had to lose the weight in the first place? I honestly could hit myself! To come so far and then see it starting to creep back-you stupid fat cow! Im letting my family down, everyone that has supported me and myself. Already Im coming up with excuses why i can't get straight back on it. Friends birthday meal tomorrow, work do Monday etc. But really, none of these are reasons why i can't do ss on the other days. I can still turn this round and take control-it hasn't beaten me-i will not be that person again! If anyone is reading this Im sorry for the rant. I just needed to get it all written down so that i can rationalize it and see what i need to do. For some reason it seems to give me strength when i write it down and goodness knows i need all the strength i can get right now. I will not let this beat me. X

Wooooooow little lady there's yr problem yr being too hard on yrself x with cd u have to have a v positive mindset x I found it hard to do cd so have joined sw as losing 13lbs in two weeks is better than nothing as I was on cd when I kept failing x x yr a wonderful lady pls stop saying these horrid things about yrself x at different times our mind needs different things u just need to find what's working for u right now x x ps here for u whenever u need me x

 

[demonp]

Wooooooow little lady there's yr problem yr being too hard on yrself x with cd u have to have a v positive mindset x I found it hard to do cd so have joined sw as losing 13lbs in two weeks is better than nothing as I was on cd when I kept failing x x yr a wonderful lady pls stop saying these horrid things about yrself x at different times our mind needs different things u just need to find what's working for u right now x x ps here for u whenever u need me x

Crikey, I'd forgotten that I wrote that...sad thing is, I've not really moved on much in all that time! But you're right, I need to stop being so negative. 1 day at a time now. Thanks lovely lady.x

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