A quest for the old happy Em

Thanks. I'm a bit of a creature of habit and find myself eating a lot of the same stuff as I did last time I did slimming world. Really gutted to find my syn free tinned store cupbbard stand bys aren't syn free any more :mad:

I think my annoyance that manufacturers can't leave a good recipe well alone has been made worse since finding that out. Damn you Sainsburys. And pot noodle too. Used to love those things and now they taste nasty....but just as well as they aren't really low in syns!

My faith in supermarkets was restored on Friday though at discovering the massive Asda at the mall in Bristol stocks Blue Dragon brand katsu curry sauce ready made in jars....and it's not too high in syns (well working on 1 syn being 20 cals. :D


 
Well I don't know whether this is good news or not, but I've just checked it, and the 350g jar is 13 syns for the whole jar.

Is that good? Or not so good? Either way, at least you know what you're dealing with.

Hope it helps.

Sarah
 
OMG no not so good!!!! It only has 75calories per 100g so as a sauce it's pretty low. I worked it out as a lot less :eek:

Thanks though, at least I can count it properly now.
 
Doh! I had a figure in my head that I'd worked out based on it being a quarter of a jar (1 serving) so that was the number I was thinking of.....so when you said 13....silly me! So it is as 'affordable' syns wise as I'd hoped, yay :D
 
roooaaarrr, that's my stomach complaining! How come some days I feel quite content to last till my next meal and other days, like today, I could eat anything and everything in sight.

So far I've had an alpen light bar, an apple and I've started picking at my pasta for lunch. Luckily there's a big tub but it looks to everyone in the office like I'm being a bit of a desperate fatso who can't wait till lunch.

Do other people get the same feeling when they eat in public, like people are making a judgement when they see you and thinking to themselves 'well she could do without having that garlic bread on the side, or that pudding. No wonder she looks like that'.

I used to avoid eating anything 'bad' in public like a chocolate bar incase people were thinking I deserved to be fat. It's become less of an issue for me since I have a medical condition to blame it on.....but short of wearing a t-shirt saying 'I've got a thyroid problem, this isn't from eating all the pies', it's not like anyone would view me differently. Strange how the mind works.

I have a friend who's a similar size to me and does some form of exercise every day almost, be it the gym, ladies cricket, badminton or even surfing in the summer! How she gets in a wet suit in public I'll never know, braver than 10 of me. But she says she gets fed up of the expectations of people that because she's fat she must therefore be lazy, unfit and be a lesser human being for have less will power to stay slim than them. It seems some people are rude enough to say nasty stuff to her face.

I guess I should think myself lucky that no-one other than family members have ever made comment or made me feel bad about my weight, it's me who has a downer on myself. Not helped by Mum poking my fatty bits and saying 'you're getting bigger' etc.Nice eh?

 
A cat called Jason - love it!!

I know exactly how you feel about the eating in public thing, I would never eat a bag of crisps or chocolate in public as I would imagine people thinking awful things about me. I find it hard if I ever have to eat alone in a restaurant too (even breakfast in a hotel!) as I get really self-conscious of what I'm eating.

I have no medical problems to blame my weight on, just piggyism. And I often find myself very tempted to crack open my lunch in the office around 10am!!! I try to eat all the fruit first to make it look like it's only breakfast ;)
 
I always think that when people see big people eating bad things they assume that that's why they're fat. It's so unfair. Skinny people can go to the chippy and it's fine.
But maybe it's only really me judging myself, and assuming other people think the same. I don't know. Nobody's ever said anything to me, but I suppose we're all hypersensitive because of our size.

I long to be slim enough to eat what I like, where I like, and not worry that I'm being judged!

That's not the only reason I'm slimming, but I think it's one of many, all tangled up in my subconscious somewhere.
 
Thanks. Nice to hear that others feel the same way about eating in public. Eating alone is both scary and empowering at the same time I find. You feel a huge sense of achievement at being brave enough to do it as most won't.

Oddly I have a bit of a fear about eating 'diet' food in front of people as well incase they realise I'm on a diet, especially at work. Then if I fail they'll know I have. Well that or they'll be thinking 'about time chubby'. The other day in Wetherspoons I had a side salad as they were out of stock of the 5 bean chili and I refused to eat anything else in there - a rare strong willed defiant moment where I wasn't going to let them make me eat bad stuff. The waitress put the side salad down next to my skinny friends meal and walked off with the second set of cutlery. I had to call her back and ask for them and promptly slid my salad back across the table. She looked at me as if to say 'yeah, how was I supposed to know the salad was for you'.
 
People can be rude, and make unreasonable assumptions.
We just have to be te "bigger person" (!!) and rise above it.
 
I think you're right, a lot of it is our own hang ups and fears we make for ourselves and not what others put on us. Like I say, no stranger has ever called me names or anything. I find it hard to believe any human being could be so mean as to say things to peoples faces but you watch tv shows about large people and they clearly experience a lot of abuse out there :(

Skinny people can eat what they like in public and far from people thinking 'pig', they think 'ooh, aren't you lucky to be able to eat that and stay slim'. A work colleague split the back of her trousers and luckily ever prepared me had her safety pins and sewing kit to hand....but she's a size 10. If that had been me people would have viewed it totally differently I'm sure. I wear nice baggy trousers all the time though to minimise the risk. I do a job where 30% of the time we're outside bending around so I can't be fretting over that all the time.

Two of the many things on the list of reasons to be slim is to be able to eat what I like in public, and to able to lift myself in and out of holes (large water meter/hydrant chambers) and not have to get my slimmer and fitter colleague to do it all the time. The thought of getting in but not being able to get out is a constant worry! I lean in and clear it of spiders as she's petrified of them, then she hops in as does the job, we make a good team :)
 
Sounds like good teamwork. But will she still have a job when you're slim enough to get in the holes?
 
She'll be glad of the break I expect, and getting to avoid the spiders. At the moment I drive the van and do a bit more of the other work to make up for it as I feel bad my size stops me being able to do my job properly - a definite sign I need to do something about it I think.
 
Day at a conference today and wouldn't you know it....pastries, flapacks and biscuits in all the interval breaks. I was a bad girl :(

My first naughtyness in a while but back on track tomorrow. I mean it this time....no really guys ;)

I did make good choices at the lunch break and for my tea so it could have been worse I suppose. Pastry is the devils own baked delight though.
 
As I promised myself, back on track so far today. Just a mini babybel light, an Alpen light bar and some grapes so far. Lunch is a jacket spud and muller light. Not got as far as planning tea yet....might try that chick pea dahl everyone raves about as I need something quick and I bought some in the other day.

I'm trying and failing miserably to avoid the scales on a more regular basis than once a week. I was doing it every day (I know, I know, totally pointles and often makes you think you've gained when you haven't). I've got it down to twice a week now and was half a pound lighter this morning - yay me :D Spurred me on to be good today.

Looking forward to second anniversary meal out with the OH in October....new Indian in town that people have recommended to me. I'm going to eat what I like and enjoy it. Hopefully by then I can shift a couple more pounds and feel ok about doing that.
 
You go for it. It's important occasionally to have what we consider to be a really nice meal, and not feel guilty, and then to get straight back on track.

Some people have only a few pounds to lose, so they can stick exactly to plan every day, because it's not for long. Those of us who are in this for the long haul need to be able to consider this as our eating plan for life: within that we definitely need the odd treat! We just have to make sure it doesn't throw us totally.
 
hey emmylou just read through your diary and wanted to say well done on your progress so far. Good on you for getting back on track today after a small slip up yesterday im sure you will still get a loss this week.

im just someone who cant stop eating once i start! Once the snowball starts it doesnt stop but slowly im getting contol of it! x

Love bimbo too!!x
 
Hi Henna, thanks for reading :) I'm the same usually, one slip up and it's all over. I'm really trying to get control of that though and put it behind me and start a fresh the next day if I slip up or I'll never get there! I feel more determined this time I think as putting that half stone back on this year after trying so hard to lose it really annoyed me. Anger is a great motivator.

With that in mind, today is all planned out:

A - 3 light babybel
B - 2 Alpen lights
Lunch - Jacket spud and muller yoghurt
Snacks - cheese mug shot (2 syns),an apple and a low fat jelly pot
Tea - syn free chips, egg, beans and some syns for ketchup

So a pretty low syn day as I'm still making up for the pastries! I had the asda chick pea dahl in the end last night - how surprisingly nice was that!? People on here weren't wrong, it was lovely. I have a syn free green day tin again now sainsbury vegetarian range isn't anymore.
 
Lunch done, sticking to plan, feelin' positive :) Off out on site now to 'help' my skinny work mate in and out of the holes I'm too fat to fit in ;)
 
Now I seriously deserve to lose some weight this week after the dedication and restraint I've just shown. Possibly the saddest lunch at the canteen table....a bowl of baked beans. Been looking forward to a jacket, beans and cheese all week as the canteen only do beans on a Friday so all week I've been having a babybel in a potato (also very dedicated I thought)!

No potatoes left :eek: So I thought cheese wouldn't improve matters so gave that a miss too and just had beans. The lovely cheese and onion panini was calling, as were the chips and freshly made baguettes, but I said NO. Does make you feel good though when you show a moment of extreme restraint...well better than a bowl of beans has made me feel at any rate ;)
 
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