Here is a much needed update. I have had a frustrating weekend because I have had problems getting on-line because of 'problems' with the server.
I rang the telephone help number and had to deal with someone with an accent which was really difficult to understand. Added to that all the techinical terms and instructions, it was a nightmare. Everything seems ok this morning, but I'm not holding my breath that it's fixed.
Phew.
It is funny now small decisions can make for big consequences. I walked to town yesterday morning (Sat) and got my eyebrows done. Hubby had asked me why I didn't do it myself. I explained that it was painful and my eyes watered so much I couldn't see what I was doing. I offered to do his... he declined!
First shop I entered was Thorntons. I had decided to reintroduce chocolate back into the house, but decided to buy only a box of two chocs so I wasn't tempted. There were hardly any suitable dark chocs but I noticed a box of six which included three dark. They were special offer and really inexpensive. I bought them for myself and hubby to eat at the cinema later (we did and they were nice).
Anyway, as I was passing the church I saw the Christian Aid was having a fundraising coffee morning so I popped in for coffee and soup (it was virtually lunchtime by then).
I ordered parsnip and apple soup - it was gorgeous so I decided to make my own later on). All was well, and I politely declined the tray of beautiful hand-made scones and cakes which was brought around to tempt me. There was a stall selling more cakes so I bought some home-made meringues to take home plus a bar of Fairtraide dark mint chocolate, for home.
Did more shopping, went to Wallis and bought a size 10 top. Had to go and buy trousers to 'go' with it too (size 12). Met husband later and went to see 28 Weeks Later - nice and gory.
Afterwards decided to go out for tea and, because we did not have the kids with us, went to a good local French place. Oh it was lovely. I had mussels and languine and one of hubbys snails (!). I would have loved to eat all of them but they are done in garlic butter. One was lovely though.
Some sort of pan fried artic fish with saffron mash was the main course, with a salad. I hadn't realised that they would put an oily dressing on it though. Still it was totally delicious. Hubby had a lemon posset (!) afterward and I had a spoonful. Double cream with lemon!
Later at home tried (again) to get on-line, without success. Watched Eurovsion. 'Nuff said. Hubby was playing computer games so I went upstairs to read. Unpacked all the shopping bags from the day and saw the meringues. Ended up eating them all (!). What was that about?
I think it is important to try and understand my thought processes here. There wern't any. That was the problem. I slipped back into 'blank' mode quickly and did not challenge what I was doing.
So, what did I do wrong? Should I have bought the meringues in the first place? What was in my mind when I did? My thoughts were the following...
* They are low fat (old thinking) so OK
* I remember (I think) seeing an LL recipe with meringues (so they are 'ok' or 'acceptable')
* I could have one (!) with a fruit salad
* The kids like them
*I would be able to have a different dessert (usually have fruit salad on its own or with spices)
Certainly, I did not covertly decide that I would eat them all at once, in secret. That is OLD BEHAVIOURS that I do not want to revisit. But that is exactly what I did, nonetheless.
So, sugar is still going to be a 'no no' for the time being. Interestingly, the chocolate bar, in the same bag, was not even considered for eating and it still intact by the bed. I will however move it downstairs later.
I do realise that (for me) having 'things to eat' by the bed is bad news generally because it was there that I could have privacy to eat in the past. So, maybe there is some psychological 'association' going on here.
This morning (Sunday) and I am gratified that I could get on-line again. I have been on here for about three hours since 9.00 ish, catching up with all my e-mails from about three days! I have not had breakfast yet and it is almost time for lunch!
Am I compensating for last night? I realise that breakfast is an important meal of the day for me. Missing it out is not a good thing. I will need to learn to accept that every day is a new day and that missing out meals will merely make me feel more hungry and eat more than I need to at the next meal. Then, I will just exacerbate stupid thoughts about food and eating (losing the plot again).
Thank heavens I have this thread to write it all down. It has really helped to get things in a better perspective. If anyone is reading this who is doing LL at any stage, if you haven't already, start your own diary thread and pledge (initially) to write in it every day, honestly, what you are doing, why, how you feel, what you've learned etc. Not only will you be helping yourself, your experiences will help others too. I know I go on about it, but other threads really helped me (and still do).
Lecture over for today!
I hope that, wherever you all are on your respective journeys, you have a good day today, and an even better one tomorrow!
Regards, all!
arty0011:
