Alexmummy's learning journey...

[Greeneyes11]

Hi Claire, I seem to have the same problem as you, I am desperately trying to follow weightwatchers but so many distractions come along, but if we keep on keeping on I guess we are heading in the right direction.

Have a great day xx

 

[alexmummy07]

Hi Everyone

Thanks for all your comments. I am definitely going to look into the Beck Book tomorrow - on my to-do list!

I don't know if the head issues will ever go away fully, but I hope to work through them and battle them one by one.

I did have a few drinkies on the weekend, but very happy today to report a 2lb loss, just what I had hoped for.

Will be on tomorrow for a bigger update xx

 

[Chelsea Lou]

Hi AM, well done on the 2lbs loss. I bought the Beck book and it does make a lot of sense and hopefully it will help us all. We seem to have formed a bit of a Beck fan club on this forum.

Take care x

 

[Bess]

A 2lb loss is great, well done! x

 

[Greeneyes11]

2lb is great Claire, I lost 1lb my first week on WW, 1lb on my second week at WW and then put 1lb on my third week of WW...... so 1lb in 3 weeks... I am so not doing well..... so keep your chin up....

 

[LellyCD]

Hey AM, well done on your 2lb loss hunny, fab! Keep up the great work!
xx

 

[alexmummy07]

Long time no post

Sadly I'm back having gained more weight and sadness
We found out a few weeks ago that we were expecting baby no.2, and were over the moon. However, 2 early scans showed baby was not developing anymore, and I had to go in to hospital on Friday just gone to have an ERPC (Like a D+C).

I have eaten myself into oblivion, and even though I need to eat with all the concotion of pills I'm on (I came out with an infection too) I feel awful. My tummy is still swollen anyway, but the scales are creeping up and up. I don't even want to go back to ww, as I have to use the same card and it's going to show an immense gain Fed up well and truly.
Just want this weight shifted and quickly
x

 

[LellyCD]

Oh hunny, huge big ((hugs)) to you, i'm so sorry to hear about your loss this must be an awful time for you both, please don't be worrying about weight hunny, there's plenty of time to think about that, take time to recover & get back on your feet. We'll be here to support you in the meantime too.
More hugs
xxx

 

[Bess]

Oh Claire, I am so, so sorry. Big big gentle hugs. xxx

 

[Chelsea Lou]

Oh AM, my heart goes out to you sweetheart. Like Lelly said, give yourself time to recover and feel a bit better and we are all here if and when you need us.

Lots of love and hugs xxx

 

[Greeneyes11]

Awwww Claire, I am so sorry to hear your news, I am sitting here in tears as it brings back the awful news of when that happened to me. With baby number 5 you didn't have so many scan and I had a scan at 14 weeks as they thought I was carrying twins and when they scanned they found the baby had stopped growing although the placenta etc was still growing and on further checking found baby had stopped developing several weeks earlier. I had to go into hospital the next day for the D&C type thing and when I got there they had none of my notes and asked if I was having everything taken away for social reasons (as in an abortion... my DH at the time nearly decked them...). I so feel your pain Claire, my baby was taken away on Valentines Day so I always remember every year even though it was 20 years ago now....... the pain does lessen but you wont ever forget. I was also told I didn't need to wait to start trying for another baby, I wasn't sure I was strong enough to do that, but didn't use any contraceptive and it did happen again pretty quickly and they kept a much closer eye on me with the next pregnancy, scanning me at 5 weeks and every 2 weeks after that for a while. This time everything went according to plan and he is now a strapping 19 year old.

Please take care of yourself and remember that DH is hurting also, you both need time to get over this and dont fret about your weight at the moment. Just try and eat more healthily at home, no pressure and over the next few weeks the weight will start to come off again. Try not to use food as an emotional crutch, I always find myself reaching for food when I get upset and am trying to stop this habit now...... xx

 

[alexmummy07]

Thank you for all your kind words, they are all very appreciated.
While in hospital I gained an infection, so I have been v spaced out since with medications to kill it off.

I know I've probably got another week or so until I can get back on to diet properly, but I'm trying to at least make a concscious decision to start cutting back and not eating quite so badly from now.

Have been eating toast for breakfast and then more bread throughout the day and I know the carbs just don't agree with me, so trying to get back to a more nutritious cereal breakfast to at least start the day better.

Greeneyes - it's such a lonely experience isn't it, as people seem to have this view that post ERPC you should be "fine" then and the memories and sadness, plus instant change in hormones doesn't result in that at all. Sorry to hear of your loss too.

Xx

 

[Bess]

Greeneyes - it's such a lonely experience isn't it, as people seem to have this view that post ERPC you should be "fine" then and the memories and sadness, plus instant change in hormones doesn't result in that at all. Sorry to hear of your loss too.

Xx

Thinking of you both. xxx

 

[Greeneyes11]

Greeneyes - it's such a lonely experience isn't it, as people seem to have this view that post ERPC you should be "fine" then and the memories and sadness, plus instant change in hormones doesn't result in that at all. Sorry to hear of your loss too.

Xx

I found a few things, first of all some people didn't even know I was pregnant and so didn't realise what had happened, the others seem to think that because it hadn't been born yet that I wouldn't feel all the emotions of losing a "real" baby.... to me it was a real baby, we had already had hopes and plans for its life, it was already a part of my life....... so the loss is just as great. You have every right to feel upset and people need to understand that.

 

[alexmummy07]

Thanks again Greeneyes and Bess.

It's a week since the ERPC, and I'm getting there slowly. My day to day isn't so bad, it's just when it's specifically talked about that I feel I have a very thin shell layer and crack easily.

I'm giving myself until just after Easter and then I have got to get back on the diet wagon xx

 

[Bess]

Thanks again Greeneyes and Bess.

It's a week since the ERPC, and I'm getting there slowly. My day to day isn't so bad, it's just when it's specifically talked about that I feel I have a very thin shell layer and crack easily.

I'm giving myself until just after Easter and then I have got to get back on the diet wagon xx

:hug99: I suppose in time the rawness of it will reduce a little. So common, and so sad. There are few women I know who have children who haven't had something similar, not much help to you though, I know. Thinking of you, often. xx

 

[herewego]

Hi AM - It's so lovely to hear from you but I'm so sorry about what you are going through at the moment. Really don't stress about any weight gain - it will come off when you are ready and in the great scheme of things it's simply not that important (we just make it so).

You know - I think it's great that you are really grieving properly. I know that must sound horrible, but so many people push things like this to the back of their minds and don't deal with it. Something terrible has happened to you and you are well within your rights to be upset and sad about it. Anything else would be unnatural.

Sending you and your OH big hugs - we'll be here when you are ready to jump back on the diet wagon again

 

[alexmummy07]

:hug99: I suppose in time the rawness of it will reduce a little. So common, and so sad. There are few women I know who have children who haven't had something similar, not much help to you though, I know. Thinking of you, often. xx

Thank you - time is definately a healer in some ways, but also a reminder at different times/days - I'll get there though.

Hi AM - It's so lovely to hear from you but I'm so sorry about what you are going through at the moment. Really don't stress about any weight gain - it will come off when you are ready and in the great scheme of things it's simply not that important (we just make it so).

You know - I think it's great that you are really grieving properly. I know that must sound horrible, but so many people push things like this to the back of their minds and don't deal with it. Something terrible has happened to you and you are well within your rights to be upset and sad about it. Anything else would be unnatural.

Sending you and your OH big hugs - we'll be here when you are ready to jump back on the diet wagon again

Thank you for your lovely message. Sadly this isn't the first time it's happened, but I think it's the time that hurts the most as like you say, previously I have put the emotions away and been able to walk away a bit easier so to speak. This time though, it feels so different, we had told a few people, were beginning to get excited, and like with everything you plan ahead about what great timing it would be. I know anytime would be great to have a 2nd, but it just seemed to 'fit right'.

I haven't been good still these last few days, but my head is definately getting into gear about where I need to go, and what I need to do. I know for absolute certain that I'm fed up with my weight as it is and I certainly don't want it to get any worse!!

I can't afford Cambridge, but am seriously considering buying a months supply of Exante to give it a realllllly good go. We go on holiday at the end of May, and right now I'll fit in next to nothing clothes wise, so in a sense I either spend £100 on food to get me into clothes next month, or I spend £100 on clothes in the hope that I can slowly diet with WW to get it off.

I'm feeling a lot more optimistic weight wise - but I know it's something that gets me and keeps me down, so it's got to come off x

 

[alexmummy07]

On more of a positive today - throat is up and really quite sore, so I'm not even going to try and start 'dieting' just yet, but decided to make myself do 20 mins on the wii-fit. Nothing too much, and just starting out again, but all these little bits help to get my head in a much better place ready for next week.

Trying to eat "better" this week though anyway - I mean proper cereals instead of toast, and a more filling/nutritous evening meal instead of soup and garlic bread, or not so great takeaways.

Today I've eaten weetabix for Brekkie, and have planned a h/m Chicken Korma for tea. Yes I've eaten a bit of choc/crisps in between, but at the minute I think small steps are the way to go forward and prepare.

Hope everyone is having a lovely week xx

 

[Bess]

but at the minute I think small steps are the way to go forward and prepare.

Definitely Claire, wonderful weather here, I hope you are enjoying it too. xxx