Ali Cat

[x_ali_x]

Im really really struggling at the moment to keep on track with my diet. I know it works for me when i follow it properly but I can't seem to stick with it! I'm really good till the evenings then I seem to lose it and binge. My mind tells me I don't need or want it but my body seems to take over and I eat and eat till I feel sick. I am slowly putting back on all the weight I had lost and I feel so angry at myself for my serious lack of willpower. I'm hoping that by talking about it here I might be able to overcome some of what's causing this.

 

[x_ali_x]

So far so good today! No binges yet the evening is my most difficult time, going to make something to eat as I'm a bit hungry hopefully all will be well tonight I'll come here if I'm feeling a wobble is on the cards.

 

[tillymax]

Good idea to come on here and shout for help if you feel like you're gonna go on an eating frenzy

What about saving your syns for the evening.

I always want to eat on an evening too. I tend to save my syns and have Eton mess or cottage cheese and ryvitas.

Depending what day you're on you could have ham or chicken.

I'll keep thinking of ideas

 

[x_ali_x]

thank you!! Eton Mess sounds lovely mmmm

Firstly Friday was a 100% day!!! However it was fraught with difficulties so I'm proud I managed. I stayed over my parents and my dad doesn't understand the diet and doesn't seem to want to either! He nagged me everytime I ate something, do you need that? your eating loads you said you'd make an effort to lose weight! I tried to explain I was being really really good and that I hadn't strayed off my diet all day but he just stormed off in the garden saying fine thats it I never say anything again convinced I'm lying to him or something. I went hungry because I didn't need the hassle. He means well he's just worried about my size I know, but when I've been so good I just want someone to say well done keep it up rather than knock me down and make me feel like a pig.

Today has been 100% so far!! Not long got home. Mum came home from her trip and gave me a biscuit she bought back from the hotel it was lovely!! I went and picked up another to read the packaging so I could work out the syns and mum nearly snatched it out of my hand and dad was like do you need that? I felt horrible! I only wanted to see the nutritional content not eat it, I feel like they think I'm just going to enhale everything as quick as I see it. I over eat but I'm not some sort of animal. It really hurt me. I get told I'm not trying hard enough. Mum loves me and just wants me to be happy and she sees I'm not happy with my size but to keep being told I'm not trying hard enough because I fail just makes me sad. I try so so so hard to get through the day 100% on my diet I just never really manage it. I am a failure most days but I feel knocking me when I am doing well is not fair.

 

[x_ali_x]

Another 100% day yesterday I think this diary is helping!! Asked my brother to grab me a packet of pink refreshers in town and he drops off 4!!! they are 4 for a pound so a bargain in his mind hehe but it feels like I have a ticking time bomb in the cupboard. I have had 4 sweets which is 2 syns. I am NOT going to eat the lot!! (hopefully) *fingers crossed*

Parsnips roasting in the oven mmmmmmm and tesco shop should be here soon am waiting for my potatos to put in the the slow cooper to make the potato and leek soup in the new soup book, mum made some and it was lovely so I'm going to make myself some too

Chicken is defrosting I'm going to make diet coke chicken for tea tonight, it's lush! Got to have it before I drink all the cans of coke lol

Feeling quite positive today

 

[tillymax]

thank you!! Eton Mess sounds lovely mmmm

Firstly Friday was a 100% day!!! However it was fraught with difficulties so I'm proud I managed. I stayed over my parents and my dad doesn't understand the diet and doesn't seem to want to either! He nagged me everytime I ate something, do you need that? your eating loads you said you'd make an effort to lose weight! I tried to explain I was being really really good and that I hadn't strayed off my diet all day but he just stormed off in the garden saying fine thats it I never say anything again convinced I'm lying to him or something. I went hungry because I didn't need the hassle. He means well he's just worried about my size I know, but when I've been so good I just want someone to say well done keep it up rather than knock me down and make me feel like a pig.

Today has been 100% so far!! Not long got home. Mum came home from her trip and gave me a biscuit she bought back from the hotel it was lovely!! I went and picked up another to read the packaging so I could work out the syns and mum nearly snatched it out of my hand and dad was like do you need that? I felt horrible! I only wanted to see the nutritional content not eat it, I feel like they think I'm just going to enhale everything as quick as I see it. I over eat but I'm not some sort of animal. It really hurt me. I get told I'm not trying hard enough. Mum loves me and just wants me to be happy and she sees I'm not happy with my size but to keep being told I'm not trying hard enough because I fail just makes me sad. I try so so so hard to get through the day 100% on my diet I just never really manage it. I am a failure most days but I feel knocking me when I am doing well is not fair.

I think you need to explain to your mum and dad how it makes you feel. If you can't tell them in person write it down.

We all need support. This site is brilliant for that

 

[x_ali_x]

I was thinking of writing my dad a letter so we don't get angry at each other

Lost 2.5lb this week!! I'm so so pleased as Ive been struggling for months. Have carrot & coriander soup in the slow cooker but the coriander made me gag when I was chopping it up it smells hideous so not holding much faith I'll enjoy it but the carrots needed using up.

Want to lose 2lb this week then I'll have 100lb to go be nice to lose 2.5lb so have double figures left instead of treble

 

[x_ali_x]

my thing on the left was wrong got 3.5lb to lose the brake into the less than 100lb to go category.

 

[tillymax]

Well done on the loss :clap:

I use dried coriander when I make carrot and coriander soup - that's cos I'm lazy

 

[x_ali_x]

thx! I'm so pleased hopefully another loss this week I shall NOT be eating the soup I tasted a bit this morning and I was very nearly sick I'm so glad my mum is coming this way tonight she can pour it down the loo for me so I don't have to smell it. I've never had such an adverse reaction to a food before, I'm not particularly fussy with food I'm more lazy and stick to what I know but wow coriander doesn't suit me.

 

[x_ali_x]

Well mum has tasted the soup and she thinks it tastes nice so she's taken it home and is going to use it up, least it's not gone to waste.

 

[x_ali_x]

Well today's not going well syn wise have had 36 so far and having a baked apple I need to account for too, will have to cut back across the rest of the week just want to eat everything atm.

 

[x_ali_x]

I have 51 left for the week which is 10 a day which is good! Pre-wobble I rarely had over 10 syns a day but this week I'm allowing myself the full 15 a day to see if I can manage more days on plan than I did last week. Sunday I'm out and having "Christmas dinner" and a dessert... I'll try to let someone else have my dessert but I have a weakness for sweet stuff so not sure that'll happen! Last week I had 2 or 3 days off plan/binges this week I'm having one meal off plan assuming I don't fall off the wagon between now and Wednesday.

Mum said today if i get to goal she will take me to Australia!! How's that for motivation?! I went when I was 16 for 3 weeks it was a college trip I LOVED the place but the other kids were quite mean to me to me so it'd be nice to override those memories with better ones! Everything about the place I adored just not my company lol. Hoping we can do a week Sydney and a week in Queensland, QLD so I can show mum al the places I saw and Sydney because it looks amazing! Would love to climb the bridge (typed fridge I'm hungry but not home so can't raid the cupboard) if health allows!

My provisional goal is 10 stone which is a BMI of about 21 not sure why I picked that figure except its a nice round number (140lb) I'm aiming for a BMI of about 22 in the middle of the chart which is 10 stone to 10 stone 7lb was happy at 13 stone and a size 12 but id like to be an 8, none of this is set in stone and I shall reassess as needed.

To get to 10 stone I need to lose 104lb which at 2lb per week would be exactly 52 weeks! This time next year I could be super skinny booking my holiday and not worrying about christmas because I'll be sensible about what I eat and know how to fix any gain :-D

 

[x_ali_x]

Lost another 2.5lb this week must send my pile of xmas presents to my mums tomorrow bought my bro a toblerone wrapped it unwrapped it and ate it! (twice!!) I'll replace it tomorrow then mum can keep hold of all the pressies so the choc is out of the house.

 

[tillymax]

pmsl