Step 1 Sole Source All guns blazing!

[Beverley75]

Yay! You're back!!!!!! It's been pretty quiet on here (apart from Skydragon, Bonkers and JoH) I've practically had no one to drive crazy with my rambling lol

I'm good, still plodding along, doing my thing hoping to make the most of these last couple of weeks to Christmas.

This is such a manic time of year with all the parties, food p0rn on telly (aka Morrisons and M&S adverts), etc etc but I'm trying to hibernate a bit there's always next year, right?

How're the girls? Hope life has been treating you kindly sweetie xx

 

[skydragon]

happy new year lady

hope you had a ball, will you be joining us soon?
jxx

 

[IrishLad92]

Brill keep it going Starting on Fri myself!

 

[Cee]

Hiya ladies. I'm back... Kinda. I've been too lazy to keep in touch and with going in and off the plan so often die to all the events I had to attend, I just didn't feel I could add anything positive.
I've been and still am not quite 100% health wise. This is making it hard for me to get back on track over the past couple of weeks. I'm not wanting to binge, just wanting to eat a little bit of this and that. Like my head doesn't understand what I'm trying to do. Like its forgotten what it's supposed to do and can't be bothered to remember. I'm just so weak and tired in every way.
I need help!
Trying to get back on today and all I can think of is having a slice of that soft yummy bread with a hot cup of barleycup. I'm not hungry.
Just catching up with your diaries. How are you guys doing? X

 

[Cee]

So I have failed several attempts at restarting and thought I would try to get back to writing my diary to help me look forward to writing that I have been 100% each day. I aim to restart AGAIn tomorrow and this time try to ignore all the issues that have made it impossible till now. I wonder if I should try hypnotherapy again. That was part of the mix last year which led to me losing 2st7lbs last year. Before I go shelling out on that I will just try on my own first. I want to fit into my lovely dresses this Christmas and look stunning. I want to take pictures with my daughter on her birthday, Christmas day and just generally take pictures with my girls. Something I avoid because of my weight. I want to feel good about myself again. And I want to be attractive to guys again. Even though I don't really want to start a relationship with any man, I do want to be desired. All for my ego really
In the last few months life has become very difficult. Just struggling to cope with normal day to day tasks. Apparently I may have Borderline Personality Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder. Both conditions ring very true to me. It seems I finally know what my issues are. Ive known I have issues for a few years now, just never knew why or what they were. Blamed my faulty thought processes on my upbringing and my mum. Now I know its not that. But that's for a whole different forum. Basically, I am prone to compulsive eating because of my mental health issues. This conjures up images of me scoffing my face in a white padded room with hair standing on end like Edward Scissorhands. I need to lose the weight and boost my self esteem a little. I know it shouldn't depend on how I look, but I hope losing weight will give me the boost to start getting out and doing things and feeling more positive about life. It might help me to get my life in control.
So here's to another try. I'm glad I'm still 1 stone light than I was this time last year. So If I can repeat my performance, I should be able to get to 11st12lb by Christmas. Fingers crossed. Wish me luck x

 

[angelupnorth]

So I have failed several attempts at restarting and thought I would try to get back to writing my diary to help me look forward to writing that I have been 100% each day. I aim to restart AGAIn tomorrow and this time try to ignore all the issues that have made it impossible till now. I wonder if I should try hypnotherapy again. That was part of the mix last year which led to me losing 2st7lbs last year. Before I go shelling out on that I will just try on my own first. I want to fit into my lovely dresses this Christmas and look stunning. I want to take pictures with my daughter on her birthday, Christmas day and just generally take pictures with my girls. Something I avoid because of my weight. I want to feel good about myself again. And I want to be attractive to guys again. Even though I don't really want to start a relationship with any man, I do want to be desired. All for my ego really In the last few months life has become very difficult. Just struggling to cope with normal day to day tasks. Apparently I may have Borderline Personality Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder. Both conditions ring very true to me. It seems I finally know what my issues are. Ive known I have issues for a few years now, just never knew why or what they were. Blamed my faulty thought processes on my upbringing and my mum. Now I know its not that. But that's for a whole different forum. Basically, I am prone to compulsive eating because of my mental health issues. This conjures up images of me scoffing my face in a white padded room with hair standing on end like Edward Scissorhands. I need to lose the weight and boost my self esteem a little. I know it shouldn't depend on how I look, but I hope losing weight will give me the boost to start getting out and doing things and feeling more positive about life. It might help me to get my life in control. So here's to another try. I'm glad I'm still 1 stone light than I was this time last year. So If I can repeat my performance, I should be able to get to 11st12lb by Christmas. Fingers crossed. Wish me luck x

Hi there Cee,
Great to see you back ( I've been back on plan 11 days but remember you from my last visits )
I sat at the weekend and read all of my old posts & diary and I think it helped me notice some trends & triggers for me sabotaging my own efforts.
Now your back maybe you could read back through yours and see if there are any trends in yours which ring true for you.
Sorry to hear you have been struggling but if they confirm the disorder it's a new start & will help you with emotional aspects in the future.
Anyway my lovely, great to see you back & good luck x x x

 

[NumptyMum]

Hiya here to follow x
Goodluck on your restart x